Chapter 1.18 #2
“I do know that you love me. But I must confess I am not entirely certain what ‘ardently’ implies. I have always had some difficulty understanding the true meaning of that expression.”
He laughed back in delight, recollecting their flirtatious conversation during the waltz.
“I shall be more than happy to teach you the complexity of its meaning…as soon as I return.”
“I depend upon that, sir.”
A quick brush of her lips upon his, their faces touching one last time, briefly, and she was gone; his mouth remained dry and thirsty for her sweet flavour while his cheeks were wet with her tears.
∞∞∞
Darcy had been on his way to London for several hours, but Elizabeth still could not sleep. She tried to keep her eyes closed beneath the warm bedcovers—hoping sleep would come—but the cosy warmth only reminded her of his embrace and her worry about his journey.
She grew angry with herself for being weak and not inquiring more persistently about his business in Town. She was frightened about a particular possibility and struggled to force it from her mind.
However, Darcy said he would not go after Markham, and she trusted his word.
No, in truth he did not say he would not go after Markham. He said his business was in London, and he would not travel in that part of the country where Markham was. That should be reassuring, yet she felt heavyhearted and troubled. At least he was not alone; the colonel was with him.
She wondered when they would arrive and how long it would take an express to reach Longbourn with a message from him. She wanted proof that he was well and safe, and then she could bear the separation as long as necessary.
It was full daylight by now, but the house remained silent; the entire family was sleeping soundly after their lively evening. The room suddenly seemed too small for her torment; she needed fresh air. She needed the openness of the outdoors and a stroll along the paths they had walked together.
She dressed properly for a long walk and left the house.
∞∞∞
After a protracted amble in the brisk air of the autumn morning, Elizabeth almost lost her balance on the muddy grass when she heard Lady Cassandra’s insistent voice calling her name.
“Elizabeth, what on earth are you doing? Are you walking in your sleep, or are you daydreaming?” She dismounted and approached Elizabeth who greeted her with a smile of embarrassment.
“Good morning, Cassandra. No, I am definitely not sleeping; in fact, I did not sleep at all after the ball. Hopefully, this walk will calm me, and I will be able to find rest later.”
“No wonder you are distressed after such an animated night as the centre of attention.”
Elizabeth laughed. “I have had enough attention to last a few years at least! What about you? What are you doing here at such an early hour?”
“I needed a long ride to calm my nerves before meeting the Netherfield inhabitants for breakfast. I can only imagine Louisa and Caroline’s faces, not to mention Miss Cardington’s. And it is entirely your fault, you know.” Her eyebrow rose in mocking reproach.
“I am sorry to cause such a difficult situation for you,” Elizabeth replied in the same manner.
“So, are you walking alone, or are you expecting company?” Cassandra asked slyly.
Elizabeth blushed but did not avert her eyes from her companion. “This time I am walking alone,” she answered daringly. “In fact, this is my favourite path. I used to walk along it almost every day.”
“You must learn to ride. You could not walk around Pemberley.”
“Oh, I do know how to ride, but I am not fond of horses. And speaking of that, I should warn you not to ride on this path; it is quite abrupt, and there are many trees and bushes. Your horse might slip at any time!”
“Do not worry about me; I have ridden on far worse paths. And you should be fond of horses; they are wonderful creatures! You will love them if you become better acquainted with them.”
“Well then, perhaps, once at Pemberley, you will help me choose a nice, gentle mare, and I will improve my riding skills.”
“I am not sure that will be possible. I am not sure when I will be at Pemberley in the future. You and Darcy and Georgiana will be a family now and will not need any intrusion on your time together.”
“Cassandra…”
“Besides,” she continued, ignoring Elizabeth’s interruption, “once you are at Pemberley, I doubt Darcy will allow anyone except himself to help you choose anything! I fact, I wonder if he will allow anyone to see you or talk to you at all; I daresay he will lock you in your chambers for some time.” She laughed.
Elizabeth’s face was crimson with mortification, her countenance a blend of embarrassment and boldness as she spoke in a teasing voice.
“Cassandra, when Mr Darcy unlocks my chambers and finally allows me to see other people, I hope with all my heart that those people will be you and Georgiana. If you presume that I would consider your presence at Pemberley an intrusion, you could not be farther from the truth. I do cherish your friendship, and I depend upon your help to learn my duties as Mrs Darcy.”
Cassandra’s face darkened, and her tone became grave.
“Elizabeth, not for a moment did I presume you would not want me at Pemberley; do not distress yourself. But for some time I have been considering leaving the country again once you and Darcy are married. There are some circumstances that have led me to believe my departure would be the best solution for everyone involved.”
“The same circumstances that have made you so sad and tormented lately?”
“Yes…the same circumstances I previously told you I did not want to talk about; do you remember?”
“I do remember,” replied Elizabeth, purposely ignoring the implied reproach.
“I will not force your confidence, nor will I insist on discovering a secret you do not want to share, but I will insist on finding a way to offer you help or at least comfort. And I most assuredly will not calmly rejoice in my own felicity while you exile yourself away from your closest friends and your home. And I doubt very much that William would allow you simply to leave, no matter how preoccupied he might be in keeping me locked in my apartments!”
Her speech became increasingly animated, and her voice showed determination that would brook no opposition. For the first time in their acquaintance, it was Elizabeth who demanded Cassandra’s obedience—and without argument. Cassandra remained silent and lowered her eyes.
“Upon my word, you are truly irritating, Elizabeth, do you know that?” she finally said.
“No more than yourself, your ladyship.”
“Very well, we shall talk about this again soon. However, we shall also talk about your riding skills. You cannot expect to ride bareback on the same horse with Darcy forever, no matter how much you enjoy it.” Cassandra’s triumphant voice and mischievous smile took a small revenge upon her friend.
Elizabeth’s cheeks coloured, and her embarrassment was obvious at the recollection of their ride in the rain. However, it was Elizabeth who had the last word in their debate. Her voice was witty as her eyes sparkled with boldness and amusement.
“Well, I am not sure you are correct, your ladyship. As the future mistress of Pemberley, I am quite certain I will be allowed to ride in any manner I wish, as often as I wish, and to share anything with my husband—including a bare-backed horse.”
Cassandra remained still, her eyes wide in surprise as if she were still trying to understand the reply. Elizabeth burst out in peals of laughter, and Cassandra looked at her in mocking disapproval.
“I have no reply to such a statement. I had best be leaving now, as it seems my wit cannot surpass yours this morning; you are simply in too lively a mood for me. I will go and have a most unpleasant morning with Miss Bingley, Mrs Hurst and Miss Cardington; that is all I can hope for.”
“I would be happy to invite you to have breakfast with us. I cannot bear to know that Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst will ruin your appetite.”
“Oh, that sounds tempting indeed, but I cannot abandon Georgiana and especially poor Darcy; they would never forgive me.”
“But Cassandra…is William not gone? I imagined he must have reached Town by now; he left quite early.”
“Darcy is gone? Where?”
“Where?! To London!”
“To London? What on earth is he doing in London again? And why did he not tell me?”
“He had some unfinished business; he did not have time to complete everything when he returned in haste. It is something about settlements and other things. He mostly spoke to my father about it. I imagine he did not find the time to mention it to you. But do not worry; he will return in a few days.”
“What a coward! I am sure he simply tried to get away from Miss Bingley and Miss Cardington after they found you were engaged to be married! Otherwise I cannot understand why he left in such a hurry.”
“Oh, do not be so harsh on him!” Elizabeth smiled, struggling not to allow her own concerns to overwhelm her again.
“I suggested he wait and rest a day or two, but he seemed determined to leave today. I imagine he wanted to take advantage of the colonel’s company as they travelled together.
However, I am quite sure he did not run from any lady.
He is a brave and honourable gentleman and can handle Miss Bingley quite skilfully. ”