Chapter 5
Darcy remained, stunned, in the middle of Pemberley’s library as he watched an enraged Charles Bingley charge from the room and slam the door.
Yes, he had anticipated his younger friend would be angry; however, the meeting proceeded differently than Darcy had expected.
In the first minutes, Bingley had borne his confession with calmness; in fact, he seemed not to accept that Darcy had been wrong in his estimation of Miss Bennet’s feelings and could not understand why Darcy was apologizing for his interference at all.
However, when Darcy told him that Miss Bennet had been in London for three months and even called at his home, Bingley turned completely white, and he seemed not to breathe for several minutes.
In utter rage, he demanded to be told how Darcy became aware of Jane Bennet’s visit, and his violent words were spewed out at his friend as well as his sisters.
“I cannot bear to breathe the same air as you any longer,” he said at the end of his outburst. “I shall remove myself from this house as soon as my belongings are ready. As for my sisters, you may keep them for a while, as it appears you share an intimate similarity of mind.”
The master of Pemberley remained stunned; neither his mind nor his body were able to react.
∞∞∞
Lady Cassandra had loved the grounds of Pemberley all her life and, since returning there a week ago, had spent at least a couple of hours each day riding and enjoying the beauty of the grounds.
Usually she rode in the company of Darcy, Georgiana or both, accompanied by Charles Bingley who was also an excellent rider.
That morning, however, she was alone since Georgiana felt tired and Darcy mentioned that he and Bingley were to have a private talk.
“Oh, the talk…Good luck,” she wished him, confident that he would need it.
With the gentle breeze of a July day playing in her hair, Lady Cassandra would allow no dark thoughts to mar her enjoyment.
Her attention was drawn toward a rider galloping over the fields so wildly that she frowned and turned her head after him.
With utter surprise, she thought she recognised Charles Bingley, but she could not be certain, so she turned her horse to follow.
When, after more than ten minutes, she decided to stop her animal to spare him from exhaustion, she found Bingley sitting upon the grass, his horse’s reins tied to a tree.
“Mr Bingley, what on earth is the matter?” she asked, dismounting.
“Lady Cassandra!” He looked shocked to see her, leaped to his feet and, after a moment, turned his back to her in an attempt to hide his face; however, a glance was sufficient for her to notice his red eyes.
Has he been crying? she wondered as she moved closer. “Mr Bingley, I can see you are upset, sir. I presume it is your discussion with Darcy that has brought you to such a state.”
He turned to her, his eyes and mouth open in shock. “How can your ladyship possibly know about what Darcy and I spoke? Does everyone in the country know except me?” he shouted.
Lady Cassandra fixed him with her stare, her brow arching questioningly. “Sir, I can understand your anger, but are you certain that yelling at me will heal your hurt feelings?”
The gentleman’s sense of propriety won over his anger, and he averted his eyes in embarrassment. “I beg your forgiveness; I completely forgot myself. I would rather leave before my rudeness appals you further.” He moved toward his exhausted horse.
“No need to apologize, sir, and please have no worry about my being appalled. I am not quite that sensitive. I want to ask you to indulge me and remain a few minutes. Both your horse and mine need rest, and we could have a little conversation.”
His first reaction was to continue walking toward his mount, but after a brief look at the animal, he turned to his companion. “How is it possible that your ladyship knows—about my conversation with Darcy, I mean?”
She smiled. “Darcy mentioned it to me this morning.”
“Mentioned what—that he would have a nice chat before breakfast with witless Charles Bingley? To offer him more wise advice? Such a pity I did not take it as easily as I used to! Perhaps I should apologise for ruining his breakfast. However, he might be pleased, as I intend to leave Pemberley this very moment and never cross paths with him again.”
“Mr Bingley, I cannot believe Darcy treated you with such carelessness and lack of consideration. Did he offend you in any way?”
“Oh, no, he was everything polite and proper—as he always is. He apologised, in fact. He apologised for ruining my happiness, your ladyship! But, as he did it with much consideration, I should be grateful to him!”
Lady Cassandra watched in silence, allowing him to express his rage. He was still turned with his back to her when she suddenly exclaimed, “Mr Bingley, what on earth has happened to your hair? It is all red at the back, and I have to say it is very unbecoming to you.”
He stared at her in complete misapprehension. “I beg your pardon? I cannot understand your ladyship’s meaning; my hair is certainly not red!”
“Are you sure, sir? Because it certainly looks red to me.”
“I am positive! I did look in the mirror this morning. Since then I have had no time to alter the colour of my hair. I think your ladyship is trying to mock me in order to distract me.”
“So you accept completely that your hair cannot be red, Mr Bingley. What if Darcy had told you the same thing? Would you have contradicted him with the same arguments and determination that you have with me, or would you simply have accepted his word without question?”
His face instantly turned white again, and his eyes remained fixed on her inquiring ones. Her eyebrow rose in expectation as he tried with great effort to knit his thoughts together.
“That is hardly the same thing, your ladyship.”
“I agree; it is hardly the same thing, yet I dare say my question has a valid point.”
“Yes, it has,” he admitted with sadness.
“I have been such a fool. I never for one moment questioned Darcy’s word.
I did not trust my sisters’ opinion, but when Darcy told me he did not think Miss Bennet returned my affection—that she would only accept my attentions to satisfy her mother’s wishes—how could I have doubted him?
I have always trusted Darcy, and he has never disappointed me.
I know he always considered my well-being and my best interests.
To discover that he deceived me on purpose—that he lied to me! ”
“Mr Bingley, you do have reason to be angry with Darcy, though I think he was honest in his estimation of Miss Bennet’s feelings at the time.
He truly believed her to be indifferent to you, and now it appears he was wrong.
But you cannot lay the entire fault upon him!
He was not always close to you and Miss Bennet; he was not privy to your private conversations and certainly did not catch all those little signs that help a gentleman recognise a lady’s preference!
If you had contradicted Darcy, perhaps he would have recognised his error. ”
“But I was not certain of Miss Bennet’s affection either, my lady! I admired her so much and thought her so perfect. I knew she could aspire to a better match. I was not certain at all.”
“I see.” Lady Cassandra watched him as he became less agitated and more depressed.
“Mr Bingley, if you want to leave Pemberley and put an end to your friendship with Darcy, of course we will all respect your decision.
However, I would advise you to consider whether this is the best solution to the situation.
I know his interference gave you much grief and great suffering—
“Lady Cassandra, do you not understand?” She startled at his abrupt outburst. “This is not about me! I do not blame Darcy for being wrong in his presumptions while he was in Hertfordshire, but when Miss Bennet came to London to call at my house…If it is true that he was wrong—if Miss Bennet did return my feelings—how she must have suffered when I left without a word! And how hurt she must have felt when she received no sign from me after her visit! I cannot blame Darcy for my pain during all these months! But I do blame him for all the grief Miss Bennet had to endure, and I do not think I will ever forgive him for that!”
His voice was trembling; Lady Cassandra was certain he was close to crying—and she smiled. Better hope for a favourable resolution there had never been!
“Mr Bingley, your affection for Miss Bennet is impressive; I will make sure to point that out to her the first time I meet her.”
His eyes opened in shock. “Lady Cassandra, when will you meet Miss Bennet?”
“I am not certain yet, Mr Bingley! It depends on your plans. What do you intend to do in the future, sir? Or let me ask you this: what is it precisely that you want to accomplish in the future?”
“I do not understand. I am not certain at this point. I do not think there is much I can do. I am certain that any feeling Miss Bennet might have had for me is now gone. Surely she must despise me; I doubt she could look at me without disdain.” He looked simultaneously confused and grieved, and Lady Cassandra could not help smiling in sympathy.
“Mr Bingley, you should refrain from drawing such absolute conclusions about Miss Bennet’s feelings. You did misjudge them completely when you were near her; surely you cannot presume you are correct when you are so far away!”
He could detect the half mockery in her tone, and he also sensed that her ladyship was actually scolding him.
Yet he did not feel offended; in fact, he felt better than he had in a long time.
For the first time, somebody—and not just anybody, but Lady Cassandra whom he did not dare to even address directly until that day—was talking to him about Miss Bennet.
“Your ladyship is correct. I should not attempt to presume anything about Miss Bennet; I am the worst judge of ladies’ feelings.”