Chapter 10 #2
He had remained the same as he ever was—her dependable, trusted friend—and he would no more consider a marriage arrangement with her than she would want a marriage with Darcy. It was a fact she learned to accept, forcing herself not to allow it to affect their friendship.
Later that year when her mother passed away, David Fitzwilliam had come for the funeral, and his warm, gentle embrace gave her nothing but comfort and a sense of safety. He was there to take care of her, protect her if need be, and offer her support and friendship.
His help was much needed not long after that when Lady Cassandra’s soul—and the wonderful world of her childhood—disappeared forever with the death of Lord Russell.
From that moment, she remained alone in the world.
She had cried for days, allowing no one around her except Darcy and David Fitzwilliam, who spent more than two weeks at Pemberley, precisely to be close to her; he told her as much.
Darcy and David—her closest friends in the world.
And now, after all these years, David comes to profess his love for her and to ask her to marry him!
Now, when she had put all her past feelings for him aside before they managed to blossom—now, after all that had happened in the last four years; now, when she could not possibly marry him.
Her world broke into thousands of small pieces again, and so did her heart!
Thank heavens she had left London—and him—behind. She was in Hertfordshire now and looking from the window of her room as Darcy rode along the hill, his horse moving at a quick pace. She smiled; she knew where he was going.
∞∞∞
No—it was not a dream! He moved slowly toward Elizabeth as she moved toward him, her eyes captured by his, her steps tentative, her face pale, and her dry lips slightly opened.
She heard his soft, tender voice—the voice to which she had become accustomed while she was at Pemberley—but her mind could barely understand the meaning of his words.
He said something about walking out to meet her.
Should she answer? And what was she to answer?
He came closer and closer; she was already aware of his scent and the warmth of his nearness, and he kept moving forward—so she stopped.
“Mr Darcy…” did she truly say the words? She was not sure, as she did not hear them. He moved a step closer.
“Sir, I did not know…I did not expect to see you here at this hour.”
“I am sorry; I did not mean to disturb you.”
“No, no…you did not disturb me…it was just…” It was just that I was thinking of you, and you just appeared. Could it be my thoughts that brought you here? The unsaid words made her cheeks redden; suddenly, her knees seemed unable to support her.
“Miss Bennet, are you unwell?” Without waiting for her answer, he instantly placed his hands on her upper arms to support her. The gesture only made her dizzier.
“I am well, thank you.” She did not dare to lift her head, as he was so close that she could feel his breath. She suddenly remembered her manners and, with her head still down, almost leaning against his chest, tried to proceed politely. “Have you travelled safely to Hertfordshire, sir?”
“Yes, we travelled uneventfully, thank you. We arrived yesterday, late in the afternoon.” His hands were still resting on her arms.
“Yes, I have heard that…I mean, I have heard that Mr Bingley was expected to return but…I did not suppose you would join him. Is Georgiana still at Pemberley, sir? I hope she is well.”
“No, she is here as are Lady Cassandra and Mr and Mrs Hurst. Only Miss Bingley remains in Town.”
“You brought Georgiana, too?” she cried, her surprise making her forget the proper tone.
“Yes, I did.” They were so close to each other that their heads were almost touching. “Miss Bennet, are you displeased with our presence here?”
His voice was no stronger than hers was, and its slight tremble of uncertainty drove her finally to look at him. Did he think she was displeased to see him?
“I am not at all displeased, sir, only…I did not believe it possible that you would return to the neighbourhood after— She stopped and blushed in embarrassment, angry with herself for perhaps saying too much. She was still not certain about his involvement in the unhappy situation that ended with Lydia’s wedding.
“My sister Lydia married Mr Wickham last week.”
Darcy’s countenance changed a little. “I am aware of that. I met Wickham and Miss Lydia in Town a few times while I visited Mr and Mrs Gardiner.”
His eyes were still fixed on her face, and she noticed a trace of worry in them. Daringly, she continued.
“Yes, I heard as much, and I cannot tell you how surprised I was. I imagined there was a very important matter that brought you to town so unexpectedly. When I left, you were at Pemberley among your friends.”
“It is true, you left me at Pemberley,” he answered, the emotion in his voice impossible to hide. Suddenly realizing what he said, he withdrew his hands and took a few steps away from her.
Elizabeth remained still, only her eyes following his agitated pacing.
After a few minutes, she could no longer continue to witness his turmoil.
“I am sorry I left Pemberley so suddenly, sir. I know it was our duty as guests to leave you a note at least, but I thought it was better for us to depart as soon as possible. Please do not blame my aunt or my uncle; it was my decision and my insistence to do so; I am the only one to blame.”
He turned to her and met her eyes again. “You are not to blame for anything, Miss Bennet; please forgive my improper words. I only admired you for your decision even more…when I understood it properly.”
His confession took her utterly by surprise, and she was speechless for a moment; her fingers felt cold, and they trembled.
“Sir, please allow me to thank you for your undeserved kindness to my poor sister. My gratitude cannot be expressed in proper words. Without your help we would never—
He frowned and averted his eyes. “Miss Bennet, I shall not deny my assistance in discovering Wickham, but my help meant nothing compared to your uncle’s efforts.
Please let us not talk of that further, else we should talk first of my earlier fault in not exposing Wickham publicly.
If he was able to elope with a young girl such as Miss Lydia, I must share the blame. ”
“This is not true, sir! How could you— she cried, but he took both of her hands in his.
“Miss Bennet…” His voice sounded deep and soft, while she felt his eyes piercing her soul; her fingers were trapped in his, and she dared not move them, hoping he could not sense her trembling. Her lips went dry again.
“Miss Bennet, if you want to express some kind of gratitude, you may do so by never speaking of Wickham again. I dare say he has already tormented both of us far too frequently.”
Flustered by the memory of everything that happened between them because of Wickham and her own folly, she only nodded in agreement. “Very well, sir. That will be an easy way to express my gratitude, indeed.”
“Then everything is settled,” he replied, returning her smile.
No, she cried to herself, nothing is settled. There were countless things she wanted to ask him, but she did not dare; she had to respect his wish; she owed him as much.
Darcy continued without releasing her hands. “I am pleased to be here; that is all that matters now. We have no fixed plans for how long we will remain in Hertfordshire, but if everything is well and our presence is welcomed, I dare say we will stay for quite some time.”
That lump in her throat again! And that shiver—Could he feel her shivering? “I hope you will enjoy your stay, sir. We…we are delighted to have you all here. I cannot wait to see Georgiana and Lady Cassandra again.”
A trace of distress shadowed his countenance for a moment, and she did not miss it. Suddenly, she became uneasy again and inquired of him with much concern, “Sir, is anything wrong with Georgiana or Lady Cassandra?”
“No, there is nothing wrong, but they have been a little distressed lately. I am sure they will recover during their stay at Netherfield. And I thank you for your concern.”
“Will I see them both later—during your call, I mean?”
“I am not sure; I hope so. If not, I am sure there will be plenty of opportunity for you to meet again soon.” Again, his voice sounded unsettled, and she knew something was not well.
“Miss Bennet, it is time for me to return. Bingley insisted we have an early breakfast and be prepared to pay calls as soon as propriety allows. He seemed eager to visit his neighbours again.”
She withdrew her hands, embarrassed that she did notice how late it was.
“Oh, I have to leave, too. You are right; it is quite late.”
“Please, allow me to accompany you on your way back.”
“But…do you not have to return to Netherfield? Please do not bother yourself; I will be quite safe; this is one of my favourite paths, and I walk here daily.”
“I know it is your favourite path, Miss Bennet. I remembered when you talked it last year. Still, it would be my pleasure to have your company a little longer.”
She found nothing to say and accepted his offered arm; they walking in silence until Longbourn appeared before them.
“Sir, thank you for your company. I shall look forward to seeing you later.”
“Then I shall ask Bingley to be ready as soon as possible.” For some moments, as neither seemed willing to depart first, they remained in front of each other, smiling tentatively yet wholeheartedly, their eyes silently speaking what their words did not dare.
She seemed to recover first, curtseyed, moved a few steps, and then quickly turned back until she was only a few inches from him. “Mr Darcy, I am very happy to see you in Hertfordshire again.”