Chapter 23
“Home…” she whispered, a timid smile fighting her emotions. Her eyes locked with his worried ones for a moment, and then she nestled into his chest. His arm encircled her shoulder in a loving gesture.
“Elizabeth, is anything wrong?”
“No…nothing is wrong. Quite the contrary. It is just that I still remember vividly the day I entered your home for the first time.”
“I remember that day, too—every moment of it. I felt ripped apart; my joy and gratitude in meeting you again was countered by my fear that your feelings for me were still the same as in April. I feared Georgiana’s insistence might distress you, yet I was grateful that she dared what I did not.
I cherished every new moment in your company, though I was not certain whether you accepted the invitation with pleasure or a sense of obligation. ”
“Both, I imagine. I did not know what to do. I wondered how you felt about Georgiana inviting us. I was certain I did not deserve your attentions and was shocked when I received them. And when you asked me whether I wanted you to leave your own home, I was overwhelmed by your consideration and ashamed of my past behaviour toward you.”
“You must not feel ashamed, Elizabeth. You were faultless; I fully deserved your harsh words and your rejection last spring!”
“You are too kind, my love,” she smiled as her fingers tenderly caressed his face. “You have always been an exceptionally good man—the best man I have ever known—and, for a long time, I failed miserably to notice it.”
“I had done nothing to deserve your good opinion when we first met, and my outrageous intervention in—
“Oh, come now, Mr Darcy! If we continue like this, we shall spend our entire wedding day and night arguing about the past. I used to have a marvellous philosophy, which could be quite useful to both of us in these circumstances. Unfortunately, I failed to follow it recently, so it might not be as good as I thought it to be.”
Darcy placed a soft kiss in her palm. “You must not worry, my love. We will not spend our wedding night arguing, I promise you,” he whispered, and his voice, together with the soft touch of his lips on her palm, made her shiver.
“And now,” he continued, still holding her hand, “will you not share your philosophy, Mrs Darcy?”
“I certainly shall.” She forced a smile as she fought the sudden lump in her throat. “Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.”
“A good philosophy indeed—especially for someone who has not much to be blamed for in the past. I am afraid that, in my case, it would not be—
“Oh, this will never do.” She stopped him, pressing her hand upon his mouth. Then she rose a little from her seat, just enough for her lips to replace her fingers and silence him in a most pleasant way.
If Darcy was surprised, he managed to conceal it successfully and handle the situation remarkably well; he needed only an instant to pull her upon his lap and tighten his arms around her waist. Elizabeth laughed shortly against his mouth.
Their kiss was more a playful dance than a passionate urge—a tantalising tease of each other’s lips and an expression of their delight in being together—finally.
“Elizabeth, I truly hate this bonnet,” he said unexpectedly against her mouth, his fingers trying to slide beneath the object of his displeasure in an attempt to caress her hair. Her peals of laughter broke the kiss.
“I am sorry to hear that, sir. My mother warned me that you might also be displeased with the lack of lace.”
“Lace? Of what lace are you speaking? What I meant is—I would rather have leave to admire your hair whenever I please. May I?” She nodded in agreement, still laughing, as he removed her bonnet.
“That is much better, would you not agree?”
“I certainly would,” Elizabeth admitted, and he pressed a soft kiss on her temple, obviously content.
“So, dare I ask why your mother feared I might be displeased?”
“Well, because of the lack of lace on my gown, of course, dear sir.”
“You are teasing me again, Mrs Darcy. Surely, nobody believes a lack of lace can be the reason for someone’s displeasure. In fact, I doubt I have ever noticed the presence or the absence of lace on anyone’s gown.”
“That is indeed a pity, sir, and I hope you are a singular case, because we—women—spend an excessive amount of time arranging ourselves in order to be noticed by you gentlemen,” Elizabeth laughed.
“Of course, some of us fail in the attempt and barely manage to appear tolerable; however, we are not to be easily discouraged.”
Darcy’s countenance changed, and as they were mere inches apart, Elizabeth could see her teasing disturbed him. She leaned closer as he started to apologise.
“Sir, I thought you had grown accustomed to my teasing by now and begun to enjoy it, but if you feel the need to apologise again for that evening, I must have been wrong in my estimation.”
“You were not wrong. However, I cannot forgive myself as easily as you do, and my behaviour at the beginning of our acquaintance still troubles me. As for your teasing—I have always enjoyed it exceedingly, you know that.”
“Always? Even when I was impertinent in my replies to you?”
“You were never impertinent; amusing and exceptionally bright, yes, but never impertinent.”
“I am afraid you failed to notice it, sir, as you failed to notice the lace on our gowns,” Elizabeth smiled. “Which is quite amazing, considering the fact that you are such a perceptive man.”
“You give me too much credit, my dear wife. Where you were concerned, my perception betrayed me for a considerable time, or I would have seen your true feelings for me last spring.”
She huffed and rolled her eyes in exasperation.
“You do plan to spend our wedding day arguing about the unpleasant things in our past, sir!”
“No, no indeed…forgive me.” He placed butterfly kisses on her hair.
Elizabeth cuddled to his chest, sighing contentedly. “Much better indeed.”
As she was resting on his lap, his left hand encircled her back as his right gently raised her face to his. She smiled, and his face was lit with delight before their lips joined and the past vanished.
As Darcy’s caress became more daring and possessive, Elizabeth’s restraint vanished; she was alone with her husband and they no longer need hide from others.
For a moment, a sensible thought crossed her mind, telling her there were footmen outside the carriage, but his lips travelling along her throat and his fingers lowering the shoulder of her dress made her insensible of anything but her husband and the tingling shivers that overwhelmed her senses.
She reclined in his embrace, and his kisses became more passionate.
Some uncounted minutes later, Elizabeth felt herself pulled upright as gentle arms embraced her tenderly and lips rested lightly against her temple.
She could feel Darcy’s heart racing wildly and forced her own ragged breath to calm.
“We have two more hours until London, my love, and this will not help us pass the time,” Darcy whispered. “Even more, though I praise my discipline and self-control, I fear my struggle will be in vain if you continue to encourage me in such a tempting manner,” he added hoarsely.
Elizabeth blushed, suddenly mortified by her wanton behaviour. “You are correct, of course,” she replied, trying to resume her position beside him.
His arms tightened around her. “Elizabeth, please look at me.”
Her cheeks were crimson, and she was biting her lower lip as her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “I am sorry, I…” She felt so deeply distressed while he seemed nothing but amused. Nervously, she averted her eyes and tried to rise again from his lap.
“For what would you be sorry, my love? For enjoying my kisses and caresses? I hope you are not truly sorry, just as I hope you will learn never to feel embarrassment from the pleasure and joy we will share in our marriage.”
“I am sorry for making such an exhibition of myself.
I do not know what is happening to me. I seem to act most irrationally when I am with you.
I am quite aware of how I should behave, but unfortunately, I so forget all propriety and decorum on occasion that I must shock you.
It is unacceptable that you—as a man—should be the sensible and considerate one who always puts an end to these… improper activities.
“Elizabeth, please stop…” She timidly raised her head, and he softly kissed her eyelids.
“Do I look shocked to you, my dear?” Can you not see that your behaviour is everything for which I have hoped?
For more than a year, I have dreamt of the moment your love and passion would equal mine, though for a time I dared not think it would happen.
You are the only woman to inhabit my dreams, Elizabeth, but you are more wonderful than any dream. ”
“More wanton, you mean,” she replied, trying to defeat her emotions.
He laughed. “You say ‘wanton’—I say unrestrained, passionate, lively, and honest in expressing your feelings—exactly as you always have been!”
“I like your choice of words better than mine.”
“What a relief to know that for once you approve my choice of words; I would say that is a great improvement over our first meeting,” he replied, and she laughed tearfully.
“Yes, a great improvement, Mr Darcy.
“Thank you, Mrs Darcy. I am content that we clarified our little misunderstanding,” he said with another soft kiss on the corner of her mouth. “Now, let us change the subject, shall we?”
She nodded, and then her head nestled on his shoulder in a peaceful silence,
“So, we were debating the importance of lace, I remember. Shall we continue?”
“As you wish, sir, but I insist you allow me to resume my place beside you. You cannot possibly keep me in your lap until we reach London.”
“Are you uncomfortable with this arrangement?”
“Quite the contrary,” she replied lightly, a quick blush colouring her cheeks, “but I imagine you are uncomfortable, as I know I am not such an easy charge—