Chapter 24 #3
“I do, William! Trust me, my husband; you have no reason to worry, and I have no reason to complain. The pain has diminished each time since our wedding night, and I became accustomed to it. Besides, how could I have refused you something that gave you so much pleasure when you have been so generous and caring with me every time? I enjoy being with you; I cannot and I do not want to resist you,” she concluded with a loving glance.
He looked at her blankly, rose from the bed and hurried to pour himself a glass of wine; he gulped a little, threw the glass in the fire, and paced the room. She was startled.
“Good God, I shall never learn! Will I never be able to see your true feelings and wishes? I see only what I want to see! Again and again, it is all about my desires and— Oh heavens, I practically forced myself upon you.”
“William, please come here,” she demanded. She had to repeat her request before he tentatively stepped closer to the bed. She reached her hands to him, forcing him to stay there, and then encircled his neck with her arms.
“My dear Mr Darcy, allow me to tell you how much I love and admire you, though sometimes you are such an utter and complete fool! Do you not know how I long for your kisses, for your caresses, for your warmth? How can you believe you forced me to accept you? Did I not tell you—did you not see yourself—how much joy, how much pleasure, how much bliss I find in your arms? You want to know if it was painful? Yes, it was; in truth, the first time was so painful that I thought my body was cut in two.”
“Elizabeth—
“Let me finish, please! However, I would gladly bear ten times that pain for the happiness of feeling you with me…inside me! How can you doubt that you have seen my true feelings and wishes? Can you not feel my regard for you? If not, that would truly hurt me!”
“Elizabeth…” he interrupted her again. His strong palms cupped her face, and he held her thus for a moment, speaking to her only with his eyes. He was still heavyhearted, she could see that, and the emotions of the day almost overwhelmed her; soon she could not bear his stare any longer.
“I would like to rest a little,” she said.
“Of course, my love.” He expected her to retire to her room, but she simply leaned back on the pillow and closed her eyes. He covered her and then lay by her side; she started to breathe steadily and cuddle against his chest. After a while, he felt her moving in his arms.
“William, we are such fools. Why did we argue, after all? I mean…we should have been happy…you know…after…”
“We did not argue, my love. We just — It was my fault. I am the only fool here; you have to grant me that. A very happy fool, though,” he admitted as she laughed, and then she sighed and finally fell asleep.
∞∞∞
It was quite difficult for Darcy to wake her an hour later. When he finally succeeded, she could barely open her eyes, so he offered her a little coffee.
“Hmmm…” She watched him carefully. “You seem in a good mood, sir. Have you slept as well?”
“No, I have not. I have employed my time much better.”
“Oh, I see.” She put her cup down and leaned closer to him. “And may I inquire as to what employment has made you so cheerful in such a short time?”
“It is no secret, madam. I stayed here and watched you while you slept.”
She opened her eyes in surprise. “You watched me?”
He leaned toward her so they almost touched each other. “That I admired you would be a better choice of words. And I recollected some special moments…”
“Oh— She found nothing more to say.
“Can you guess of what moments I am speaking?”
“I cannot, sir. And I have no time for these kinds of games; it is already very late. We must hurry.” She felt uncomfortable as she tried to arrange her gown and climb out of bed, but he held her arm, and she was forced to look at him.
“You did enjoy yourself today, did you not?” he suddenly asked, and her cheeks instantly turned crimson.
She did not expect that conversation to start once more; however, he continued as his thumb brushed over her lips.
“It was the first time you took your pleasure at almost the same moment I did; am I right? God, you were so beautiful, my love, and I was so happy I could see you. I love seeing you in the full light of day.”
“You are embarrassing me,” she whispered against his fingers.
“I thought we decided you would never feel embarrassed with me.”
“Truly sir, feeling embarrassed is not something I can control. I do not possess your self-discipline,” she teased him. Her palm was still on his face, and he turned his head to kiss it.
“My discipline always evaded me in your presence. As for mortifying you—please forgive me. I will try to be less honest in my expressions if that would please you. ”
He gently laid her against the pillow. “You must learn to tell me what pleases you, Mrs Darcy.”
She felt she was melting, incapable of replying as his fingers touched her lips and parted them slowly. His tantalising mouth abandoned her hand and moved to her neck. “Is this pleasant enough, Mrs Darcy?”
She licked her lips and turned her head to face him; she longed for his kisses, and when his mouth finally captured hers, she moaned with satisfaction.
His body brushed against hers, and she started moving beneath him.
She knew they should stop immediately and prepare for dinner, yet she hoped that he would not remember their engagement.
She was shocked to discover how much she desired his attention such a short while after their previous interlude, yet she could not help herself.
Her arms encircled his neck, and his weight crushed her against the sheets; she felt herself burning inside, and cold shivers travelled along her skin. She quivered, awaiting his touches.
And then he stopped and separated from her, struggling to breathe again. “We should start preparing for dinner, my love, or else we shall arrive when the others are leaving.”
She closed her eyes, struggling for air and only nodded in agreement. She was unable to speak—or to think—and all she hoped for was to regain some composure before she returned to her room.
His gentle kiss on her forehead made her open her eyes, and she faced his joyful, mischievous gaze.
“Are you well, dearest? Shall I bring you some water? You look quite flushed.”
He seemed amused and satisfied with himself, but Elizabeth was not pleased at all. Was he toying with her? He surely would not dare!
A sudden knock at the door startled her, and she hurried up from the bed, desperately trying to arrange her gown.
In no rush, Darcy put on his robe and opened the door without allowing the servant to enter.
In the meantime, Elizabeth brushed her gown and passed through the adjoining room to her chamber, disappearing before being seen in such a state.
In the privacy of her room, she filled a glass with water, swallowed it instantly, and then poured another. Her thirst was difficult to slake.
As she began to breathe steadily again and prepared to call for her maid, Darcy appeared in the doorway.
“Why did you run?”
“Why? Surely I could not stay to be seen by your servant in such a state.”
“But I already told you there is no need to worry; no servant will ever enter my bedroom without my permission. However, I imagine there will be times when he will see you in your indoor gowns as I hope you will visit my room quite often.” He tried to tease her, but she was still uneasy
“You know very well that it was not about my indoor gown, but about my whole appearance. I looked as—
“You looked as though you had just been passionately loved by your husband and were willing to be loved again,” he said without even lowering his voice. “We can only hope that the next hours will pass quickly and we can return to continue what we started.”
She blushed violently and did not have time to reply before he kissed her hand and left the room with the same mischievous smile on his face. He was indeed very pleased with himself; that was quite clear now.
She remembered those nights they spent together before being married; he told her she was torturing him with her caresses and with the power she had over him.
Surely, that power was gone now—or was all in his hands.
She blushed at her own choice of words—indeed it was all in his hands, in his kisses, in his—Oh, this will not do! What is happening to me?
Elizabeth narrowed her eyes and bit her lower lip. His self-confidence and her weakness in the face of his mischievous little games deserved an immediate, proper response.
She changed her gown for a new one and then covered herself with a robe as she rang for the maid. She brushed her hair and pulled it back tightly; a quick glance in the mirror showed that she looked proper enough.
Breathing deeply and fighting the voice of reason that whispered to abandon her plan, Elizabeth stepped to her husband’s room. She knocked at the door and waited to be invited in. His servant was just shaving him, and Elizabeth remained disconcerted in front of them.
“May I be of some assistance to you, Mrs Darcy?” asked the servant with perfect politeness.
“No…no, thank you,” she replied tentatively.
“May I be of some assistance, Mrs Darcy?” inquired Darcy with a mischievous voice and a meaningful glance.
That was enough to raise her courage to follow through on her little revenge.
“In fact, yes, you may, sir. I would like a word with you, only for a moment. There is a matter of some urgency I would like to discuss with you.”
“Now?” he asked, puzzled; then, with a gesture, he dismissed the servant.
“Elizabeth, what has happened?” He sounded worried and she felt even more pleased with herself.