Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Remi
“Have you implemented the exercise routine we discussed at our last appointment?” I asked to the top of Lily’s head. Bending, I ran a hand down Rocko’s brindle coat. He leaned against my thigh, his pink tongue hanging out of his mouth.
“I just don’t have time in my schedule.” Lily spoke down to her phone, her fingers pounding on the screen.
“But you’d like an improvement in his behavior?” Keeping my voice clear of judgment was challenging.
She glanced up and then away again. “Yes.”
Much like the bets I would no longer accept from Nora, I would never question her intuition.
Lily refused to look directly at me. In our past appointments, she’d rubbed her side-boob on my arm so much it couldn’t be a mistake.
I’d smell like her floral perfume for the rest of the day. Not today, though.
When she’d laid her eyes on me, a seductive smile had slipped from her face, and her upper lip had curled in disgust.
I’d never appreciated feeling unattractive before.
“I would suggest those exercises; I think he’d really respond to them. I know it’s a time commitment, but he’s eager to please. He just has so much energy.”
Her eyes grew, almost comically, with desperate hope. “Will that fix him?”
“There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with him. He just needs training.”
“I’m just really busy right now. What about a medication? Is there a medication I could give him instead?”
I refrained from pointing out that she’d found time to visit me once a week for the past four.
“I would only suggest medicine for a medical intervention. I know we’ve talked about this before, but being such a large dog, there’s less room for error.
Rocko doing normal dog things, jumping on a kid, for example, could put him and you in trouble.
He’s a normal, excitable, adolescent dog.
I think he’d respond well to obedience classes. ”
She pouted, tilting her head to one side. “I just wish I had someone to help me, you know?”
Uh-oh. The magic of the scrubs was wearing off.
I avoided her subtext. “Is there a reason you got such a big dog?”
“I like big . . . dogs.”
I pinched my lips between my teeth, my eyebrows drawn together. Was she comparing me to a dog? Was I supposed to project myself onto Rocko? Or was she making a sexual innuendo, and “dogs” was being used to replace “penis?”
At a loss, all I could say was, “Well, you have a big dog now. I don’t see how another appointment here could help you. My suggestion is obedience training.”
She looked at me through her eyelashes, her bottom lip plumped out. “Do you think you could help me with that? I could cook you dinner. What’s your favorite dish?”
Fuck.
My fingers paused scratching behind Rocko’s ear, and he barked in protest. It bounced off the walls, rattling my eardrums.
“I would not suggest myself for that. You really should refer to the list Nora emailed,” I responded.
“Then why don’t I cook you dinner, anyway? A thank you for the free visits.”
“Uh, I appreciate that. But it’s not necessary.”
She lifted a delicate shoulder. “Let’s not call it a thank you, then. We’ll call it a date.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m Rocko’s vet. We shouldn’t muddy the waters.”
God, I was pulling at straws. If I limited my dating options based on whose pet I took care of, I’d be lucky if there were three single women left in the county. But my immediate needs outweighed logic.
“The water’s already muddy, Remi,” she purred.
I straightened, ignoring Rocko’s protest, and crossed my arms over my chest. I resisted rolling my eyes, but just barely. Pulling on every ounce of patience I had, I searched for the kindest way to let Lily down.
A few minutes later, Lily pulled her dog toward the employee entrance yelling, “Someday you’re going to realize what a mistake you’ve made!”
Rocko’s claws scraped on the tile. He jumped and barked around her with his tail wagging. Fighting against him, she struggled for every foot she gained toward the back door.
“I’m sure I will.” I grimaced at the floor under my no-slip shoes. Letting her down hadn’t gone well, no matter how gentle I tried to be.
“And I won’t be waiting around for you.”
Leaping, Rocko bumped into her hip, pushing her into the wall. “Jesus Christ on a cross, Rocko!”
I took a half step toward her. “Are you okay?”
The glare she sliced my way stopped me in my tracks. “This is going to be the biggest mistake of your life.”
Lily pulled an excited Rocko through the back door, her phone pressed to her ear.
I scraped a palm down my face, offering up a thank you to the universe that my appointments were done for the day. With my head hanging, and my heart thudding dully in my chest, I turned for the front office and fell back against the doorjamb—my weight a bit too heavy to bear at the moment.
There was a fist clenched around my chest. Something in the past few minutes, or maybe it was residual from my glimpse of my new neighbor from the morning, but a memory I hated revisiting fought for the surface of my mind. Rain dripping from the russet strands of Alicia’s hair.
A door closing, severing the worn threads that tied us together.
I was still standing on the other side of it.
Nora half-stood, half-leaned on the desk behind her, an apologetic twist to her mouth when I walked into the front office. “That was rough.”
“I think she’s done making unnecessary appointments . . . or using us for veterinary care.”
“Meh.” Shrugging, Nora said, “She’ll chill out in a day or two. Your last appointment is in exam room one.”
I looked up with wide eyes. “No. I thought that was my last appointment.”
“Remember the emergency? The allergic cocker spaniel.”
“Shit.” My arms hung limp at my side. I rescinded my thank you to the universe. “Right. Cool.”
“I sent her chart to your tablet.”
“Thanks.” With my thumb and index, I rubbed circles at the tension above my eyebrows. “I guess it’s a vet visit and a show.”
She patted my arm. “Sometimes our embarrassment is public.”
I snorted. “That’s comforting.”
“Oh, your friend Owen commented ‘groovy’ to your picture I posted earlier.”
A smile broke across my face. “You’re really driving home your ‘sometimes embarrassment is public’ point, aren’t you?”
“Seems to be the theme.”
“Reply a middle finger emoji, will you?”
“Sure thing.”
I tucked my tablet under my arm and took a step backward into the hallway. Just outside of the door, I paused. Trying to put the past few minutes behind me, I psyched myself up for a new patient. But more than the humiliation, the unwanted resurfacing of my biggest failure lingered.
Regret was a weight on my chest, my lungs too tight to fill fully.
It was coming home to an empty house, and a string of meaningless sex.
Regret was missing one person too much to consider finding someone new.
Being single could be lonely. It was okay, though.
For now. But how much longer would now be?
Falling required a leap, and I hadn’t been brave enough to stray from the safety of my path for years. In so many ways, I’d never been more emotionally available in my life, but only with my existing relationships. Ones where the dynamic was set. Where I felt secure.
Someone unproven?
With the battered remains of my heart?
I didn’t think so.
Decked shoulder to ankle in tie-dye, having just turned down Lily’s advances and been chewed out for it, while having an existential crisis, I opened the door to exam room one. The tablet screen displayed the dog’s weight, and name, but little else.
There was a gasp from within the room before a plastic jar of dog treats scattered on the tile floor.
The little dog startled at the owner’s feet and sniffed one of the Milk-Bones.
I took a deep breath and blew it out between pursed lips.
It wasn’t a big deal, but after the onslaught of the last few minutes my threshold for irritation was pretty low.
“Ugh . . .” the woman groaned. A curtain of russet waves concealed her face, except for the point of her chin. Her fingertips pressed to her lips. There was something familiar about her hair. The color. The texture.
The memory loomed. As if there was something important I was forgetting.
My growing dread was calmed as realization dawned. My neighbor from this morning. The one that had stopped my heart looking so much like Alicia.
But it was never Alicia.
Sighing, I lowered to one knee. “It’s okay.”
I scooped up the treats, and they fell back into the jar with little thuds. The dog smelled the air, testing out my scent. I extended my arm to her with a little bone in my palm. “Hey there, girl. Want one?”
She sat back and began itching, looking up at her owner, who hadn’t moved an inch.
“Not for you? That’s okay, I’ve got better stuff.” I assured the dog.
Still on one knee, I offered my hand to the woman. “Would you take—”
My throat choked close. Gold spots speckled my vision. Tingles shot through my fingers and arms.
How?
And I was offering her a fucking dog treat.
I croaked a single broken word. “Leese?”