Chapter 8
The next few days were about Devon getting through work, coming home, dealing with the kids, trying to spend a few minutes outside on the deck, always searching, always looking, checking to see if there were visitors she didn’t want, ones that she could barely see, and that was enough to keep her on edge.
She’d spent hours down a rabbit hole researching ghosts, poltergeists, and spectral events.
Then there was the nighttime, where she was constantly awakened by the slightest of sounds, and every night there was nothing.
It was just enough to reassure her to try and get back to sleep, only to wake up yet again when something else seemed off.
Her nerves were getting a little more ragged each and every day.
She wanted to believe it was Henry walking over again, but she had no proof, and that left it open to anything or anyone.
The kids commented on her snappiness at one point, and she groaned, telling them ashamedly that she wasn’t sleeping well. They just looked at her.
With the innocence of children, they slept like logs every night.
She was jealous of their ability to just fall asleep and wake up the next morning as if the world were a perfect place.
Obviously that was a good thing for them, and she sure as hell didn’t begrudge them the sleep that she desperately needed.
She just needed everybody to get some sleep. This was a rather horrific way to go through life, and she didn’t know how to bring it to a stop. If she could stop any inside visitors, that would be one good thing. She would take the ghoul over a real-life two-legged one every time.
When her friend at work, Lindsay, who had been away for a few days, came back, she frowned at her and remarked, “Wow, here I thought you would be all rested, relaxed, and raring to go after getting settled into your house. I mean, the fact that you got a house is phenomenal,” she noted, and yet she shook her head. “Yet it seems you’re not sleeping.”
Devon half smiled at Lindsay. “No, it’s all good. I’m still not quite settled in, still trying to do too much, still trying to adjust to all the new things in my world—and still adjusting to the grief of losing her.”
Lindsay nodded, then gave her a quick hug. “I’m sorry. That is a process, and it’s not something you’ll get over quickly.”
“I know,” she murmured, “and that’s frustrating too because I just want it over with, yet that makes me feel guilty. I want to move on but not forget her by any means. I want to at least think that there will be life on the other side, and right now it doesn’t sound all that promising.”
Lindsay winced. “If I can do anything—”
Devon laughed. “Enough of that. How was your holiday with your new boyfriend?”
She grinned. “It was fantastic. I never thought such a holiday could even be possible,” she shared. “He’s perfect. We had a wonderful time.”
Devon felt a pang of jealousy as she listened to Lindsay go on about all the places they had stopped to visit, the things they had done, and how romantic it had all been.
It’s not as if Devon was actively looking for a partner, but she certainly wasn’t against it.
Yet years of dealing with her sick friend and doing more for the twins, plus all the other related problems that went along with it, had completely stopped Devon from even considering a relationship again.
That wasn’t Tabitha’s fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault in this situation.
It just left her with this maybe later attitude, followed by a maybe never thought in the back of her head.
She had the twins to look after, and that would be at least another eight years and by then?
Well, her foster mother would have called her an old lady stuck on the shelf.
She would have been right, but maybe that was okay too.
Right now Devon had to do what she had to do, and that focus was all about the kids.
Lindsay looked over at her and suggested, “The kids don’t have to completely stop your world from happening.”
“Nope, they don’t,” Devon conceded, “but I don’t know how I’m supposed to even think about dating when I am still trying to deal with making a cohesive family unit for the three of us. I’m not interested in rushing it.”
“No, and I wouldn’t want you to. We all know how important Tabitha was to you and how much she adored her kids.”
“Wouldn’t you if it were your family?”
“Of course,” she agreed. “That’s the thing. We all understand, and we all know that you’ll need some time to adjust. Yet time is a funny thing, and it’s easy to think, Oh, Devon just needs time. But does that mean six weeks, six months, or six years?”
Devon had to stop and think about it. “Honestly, it’s probably a matter of years.
I mean, I’m not in any way prepared for the teenage years with the twins, as somebody recently pointed out,” she noted, with a grimace.
“And I realize that, yet I can only do what I can do to get there. Hopefully the twins will be a little easier on me, but they are also dealing with their own grief,” she pointed out.
“All of us are a mess at times these days. We get a good day, and then we get some bad days.” Devon shrugged.
“I think that’s probably to be expected. ”
“I would think so too,” Lindsay replied, “and we all admire you but are also damn freaking grateful we’re not in the same boat.
” That startled a laugh out of Devon, but Lindsay was serious.
“We mean it. What you’re doing is fabulous, and we get it, even though it’s got to be brutal for you.
However, we’re thrilled that you’re creating a family and that those kids are getting the very next-best thing to having their mom.
We know it’s got to be really hard, and there’s not a whole lot we can do to make it easier.
Yet, if there is something, please let us know. ”
Devon nodded at her friend gratefully. “It’s a day-to-day thing right now, just getting through school and work, getting therapy time in, the logistics of everything, plus just figuring out how the house works,” she explained.
“When you’ve rented for a lifetime, who knew furnace filters need to be changed, gutters cleaned, and don’t get me started on whether the internet is working or if there’s a better way to route it throughout the house. ”
Lindsay agreed. “Ugh.”
“I just never thought about so many things, and now all of a sudden I have to,” Devon shared. Just enough pent-up frustration filled her tone that she had to stop and laugh. “And sometimes I just overthink it all.”
“Seems so,” Lindsay replied, grinning at her, “because, at the end of the day, it’s still just a furnace filter.”
Devon rolled her eyes at that and stated, “Easy for you to say.”
“As you know, I’ve had a house for quite a few years,” Lindsay reminded her friend comfortably, “and there are definitely trade-offs, but they’re good ones.
I couldn’t imagine not having had my house all these years.
Yes, it probably took some adjustment way back when, but that was a long time ago, so I don’t really remember,” she murmured, as she headed back over to the front desk, where she worked.
“Anyway,” Lindsay announced, “time to get back to work. That’s the sucky part about taking time off,” she noted, with a sigh. “You go away and have a grand time, and then you have to come back to your day-to-day reality.”
“Yeah, you come back,” Devon agreed, “and start saving up to do it all over again.”
“True. I think we’ll go over to Asia next time,” she noted, with a big grin. “I love traveling.”
On that note, Devon wasn’t sure how a holiday away would ever fit into her life, as she watched her friend happily settle back into work.
Devon dove into her own work, reminding herself that she’d made a choice, and she was good with it.
There would be adjustments, and that was fine.
She needed to remember that. As soon as she got through with work that day, she headed to the grocery store and picked up whatever she thought they would need.
Since she hadn’t gotten into the habit of meal planning yet, it left things on the open.
She pulled up to the driveway, then hopped out to see the kids riding their bikes along the sidewalk, coming up right behind her.
They’d both been at after-school sports practices.
As soon as they got off their bikes, they came over to help unload the car, and they were chattering constantly.
Devon was happy to hear the chatter. She wasn’t at all sure how they were truly handling the stress of losing their mother, but it seemed as if they were doing better, maybe better than Devon was in many ways, and that was a good thing.
She had to remember that too.
She walked in and started some pasta for dinner and got the kids going on their homework, something that could be a fight some days but thankfully not tonight.
Later, as they all sat down to eat, Toby asked, “Did you see the neighbor again today?”
She frowned over at him. “Which neighbor?”
He pointed over at Camden’s house.
She shook her head. “No, I haven’t seen him all day. I didn’t see him yesterday either. Why?”
“I don’t know.” Then he grinned at her and added, “He’s really nice.”
“Ah, he is nice,” she agreed, followed by an eye roll. “Yet don’t even get started playing matchmaker, hear me?”
“But he’s really nice,” he repeated, his grin widening.
“He is really nice,” Tabby chimed in, a smile on her face too.
“That really doesn’t matter because frankly that’s the last thing I need in my life,” Devon declared, staring at the two of them sternly. “So, let me be clear. No matchmaking.” They just grinned and didn’t say anything, and she sighed. “And I can see that you’ll completely ignore me.”
“Not completely,” they replied in unison, grinning as they polished off their food, “but he is really nice.”
Devon shook her head. “The last thing any of us need is that.”
Toby turned to her. “Not sure about that.”