Chapter 10
Thankfully Devon had no other spectral visits for several more days.
She got through the weekend. She saw Camden several times.
He came over, brought a couple things for the kids, and invited them over for hot dogs.
So, they all went over and had barbecued hot dogs, then stayed and played in his backyard, both soccer and baseball, so everybody had a chance to show their progress.
Camden seemed to be quite proficient at both, whereas Devon was a complete sports dunce. She couldn’t catch a ball for the life of her, something that Toby was completely disgusted about. Yet Camden was quite a wizard at it, so that seemed to be a saving grace for him.
Toby was pretty open about Devon’s lack of skills though. When she finally told him that was enough, he just glared at her and stated, “Everybody needs to know how to throw a ball.”
She shrugged. “It was never anything I had time to learn. So, it is what it is.” She was starting to smart under the constant dismissiveness of her lack of athletic abilities. Finally, when it was time to go, she announced, “Come on. Let’s get home again.”
As she walked over to the side fence, Toby looked at her and said, “So, I suppose you can’t even jump this, huh?” And, with that, he jumped over it easily, laughing. His sister followed with ease.
“I could, but I won’t. I also don’t want to take a chance of breaking his fence.” And, with that, she walked around to the gate, calling back, “Thanks, Camden. I’ll take these ragamuffins home and out of your space.”
He was laughing, but his gaze was a little more intent as he searched her face. “It was fine. You’re fine.”
“I know it was fine,” she agreed, “but there’s only so much dissing about not being good enough that I’m prepared to take on any given day. I never played sports. That just wasn’t my thing.” She shrugged. “So, in his eyes, that’s a huge failing.”
He smiled. “In a way, it’s better for him to see you as human than to think that you’re so much better. He needs to remember his mom. Did she play ball?”
She frowned at him and then nodded. “Yes, she absolutely did. All the time.”
“Good, then that’s a memory he gets to keep of her, and you won’t be replacing her there,” he suggested.
“I never thought of it that way.”
His words gave her some comfort as she went through the motions of getting through the evening and prepping for the upcoming birthday weekend.
As soon as Saturday dawned bright and clear, Tabby rolled out of bed, looking to go out for breakfast. Toby, however, was grumpy and miserable, saying that he didn’t want to go anywhere.
The two of them had a rip-roaring fight, which set the tone for the day, and that was just too bad. She tried hard, first to control them, then to argue with them, and afterward she gave up.
“Fine, if this is how you want to spend your birthday, I can’t do anything about it.
It’s your choice,” she declared because it was getting on her nerves.
“I’m going for a walk to chill out a bit.
” She turned and left the house, trying very hard not to slam the door when that’s what she really wanted to do.
She wondered if all parents went through this or if she was the exception because these kids were dealing with so much.
Their first birthday without their mom was guaranteed to be difficult, and God-only-knew how many other traumas they had to deal with today.
By the time she walked back into the house, she was calm, and the twins appeared to have made some pact to get along, which she appreciated. As she went into the kitchen to put on some coffee, Tabby asked, “Instead of having coffee here, do you think we could go out for coffee?”
Devon turned to face her, searching for any signs. “I’m okay with that, but it depends on whether you guys will behave yourself,” she declared. “I’m not taking you out only to have to deal with the displays I’ve already been subjected to here at home.”
Tabby nodded. “We talked.” She cast a quiet glance at her brother. “We want to go out.”
Devon hesitated because the last thing she really wanted was to end up dealing with more of this garbage, whether at home or in public.
However, if they were prepared to behave themselves, Devon needed to be the adult and to behave herself too.
She nodded, then sighed. “Let’s go get some belated breakfast.” Then she named one of their favorite restaurants.
Both of them lit up, and Devon grabbed the car keys and her wallet, knowing it would take a hit today. After all, if money would make their birthday a little easier for them to get through without their mom, well, maybe that was just the cost of life.
She waved at Camden, who was outside working on his car as they left.
He smiled and waved back. She drove off and soon parked at the restaurant, keeping an eye on Toby, who had been the more explosive of the two today.
They walked into the restaurant and took a seat somewhere toward the back.
She pondered the back versus the front because the back was always her choice and out of the way of anybody else.
One of Toby’s school friends was here. He waved at him, and Toby ran over to join him. The two were quite eager to spend time together.
She looked over at Tabby and noted, “He’ll want to sit over there.”
She nodded. “Maybe he should,” she said finally. “He doesn’t really want to be with us anyway.” There was no upset in her tone. She just sounded sad.
Devon called for Toby to come back, and he glared at her.
When she gave him a look, he came over, snapping, “I want to sit with them.”
“First off, have you been invited?” she asked. “You can’t just jump in and take over somebody else’s space. For all you know, they’re celebrating something too. You also made an agreement with your sister, so you should think about honoring that before you decide to upset her as well.”
He hesitated, glaring, but then, as he looked back at his friend, he realized other people were joining them, and it ended up being a large group.
Toby’s shoulders slumped, as he clearly wanted to join them, making it obvious that Devon and Tabby were his second choice.
Devon wasn’t sure when he’d started seeing them as not good enough.
She sighed. She wasn’t a therapist, but somehow she had to get him through this stage of life.
He sat back down with them, and, when they finished their meal, Devon asked the two of them, “Did you guys sort out what you want to do with the rest of your day?”
“Yeah,” Tabby replied. “I’ll go over to Miranda’s house, and we’ll work on her big tree house in the backyard,” she stated, with a smile.
Devon nodded. “Okay, and what about you, Toby?”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t care.”
She frowned at that and suggested, “You want to ask your friend if he wants to come over?”
“God, no,” he grumbled. “No, I don’t want anybody over at our house.”
She felt an immediate sting from his wording. “What’s wrong with our house?” She tried for a neutral tone, but it was difficult at best.
He shrugged. “The house? … Nothing.” And, with that, he stood. “I just want to go home.”
She bit her lip and paid for brunch. As they walked out, Tabby whispered to her, “He just needs time.”
She nodded. “Yeah, I understand. … I guess it doesn’t matter to either one of you, but she was my best friend.”
And, with that, Tabby gave her a startled look and then shrugged, as if it was something she couldn’t really comprehend, adding, “Mother trumps friend.”
And, with that, Tabby walked away, leaving Devon feeling that she had once again said something wrong. She couldn’t seem to do anything right today, and it was driving her crazy.
On top of feeling as if she had done them both a disservice by not being able to figure out what was going on with them, she also felt as if she were a failure herself.
She had looked after these kids, obviously not as much as their mother, but certainly enough that they knew her for who and for what she was.
It’s not as if any of this should be a surprise.
It’s not as if any of this was something different.
She hadn’t changed. The rules were still the same ones they had established a long time ago, so she didn’t understand why everything was trying to fall apart right now.
As she drove back home and parked outside, she shared, “I do have gifts for you, but maybe we’ll save them for dinner.”
Toby shrugged. “Whatever. It won’t be what I want, so who gives a shit?” And with that, he stormed up to the house.
She called back, “Watch your language.”
He gave a hard laugh. “Who gives a crap?”
At least he said crap, not shit, so did she win that one? Probably not. Did it matter? Definitely didn’t. She grabbed her purse from the back of the car, and, as she headed inside, she turned to look back at Tabby. “You need to phone Miranda and see if it’s still okay.”
“It is okay because we set it up,” she stated, but then she looked at her sheepishly. “And I didn’t ask you, did I?”
“No, you sure didn’t,” Devon confirmed. “And I could live with you not asking, except for the part where I don’t see that there’s been any agreement from Miranda’s mom. Now, I know that, in your mind, you guys set it up, but that doesn’t mean that the parents don’t have other plans.”
She stared at her, tears coming to her eyes, and quickly pulled out her phone. And, sure enough, Miranda had not contacted her mother, and it was not okay. So now Devon had two of them in tears and upset in their rooms.
She walked into the kitchen, dropped her purse, and sank down onto the kitchen chair.
She stared out the window, tears forming in her own eyes. “I don’t think I can do this,” she whispered to the empty space around her. “I really don’t think I can do this.”
The tears started to flow, and it seemed as if it were an endless wash. She just sat here, the tears rolling down her face. Her phone rang, and she answered without checking her Caller ID. It was Camden next door.