Promises
For all of those who remained, none of them were ever knowledgeable about what came next. That is why it is paramount that we be the ones to find this being first.
Pain flares behind my eyes when I try to open them against bright red lights. For all the downsides there are to being a mutant, the accelerated healing is excellent.
When it works.
And it has not been working recently, if my sore ribs and skull are anything to go by.
God, it feels like someone lobotomized me.
I finally manage to get one of my eyes open and realize the red light is an Affliction lamp beside me.
After a few more blinks, I get the other one open.
“Welcome back,” a monotone voice says into the darkness.
I startle when I see them in the corner. The figure sits so unbelievably still I’d have believed they were a statue if they hadn’t just spoken. Their white, expressionless mask is tilted towards me as though they were watching me sleep.
Which they probably had been.
The room is moderately decorated with a wardrobe to my left, a large chest across from the bed and the freak in the mask to my right.
The bed is comfortable, at least.
“The fuck do you want now?” I groan, trying to sit, but wincing as my ribs throb. “Holy shit that hurts.”
“You have managed to fracture not one, but seven important bones in your body in the last week.”
“Never the right bone, though,” I snort, feeling at where my ribs throb. There’s no discernible lump, but they fucking hurt.
“You also had moderate internal bleeding from your last escapade,” they say, voice never pitching.
“Oh, fuck you,” I spit. “Fuck you all and the high horses you rode in on. You know what I think?”
“Enlighten me.”
“I think you and Mary are just as awful as Darkrend. You all just use us as your little pawns while you galivant around as some bastions of righteousness.”
“Is that all?”
“Fuck you and your goddamned queen,” I hiss and nearly squeak as their hand wraps around my throat.
“I would watch your words about the God Queen,” they say, words measured.
“Be my fucking guest,” I grin up at them, and their hand closes tighter.
The first sensation of suffocation triggers alarms in my mind. Alarms turn to sirens of dire circumstance as my vision starts to darken.
Then the hand releases. I gasp out a few times before returning my eyes to the masked figure.
“Coward,” I cough out.
They’re silent for a few moments before the figure sighs heavily, marking the first emotion I’ve heard from them.
“Has anyone ever worried about your mental health?” they ask and I can’t help the pained laugh.
“As if you give a fuck,” I say, baring my teeth.
I move, but the figure holds up a gem. It’s red and hums with something that feels a lot like Mary.
“Just a precaution,” they say. “So, we can talk without things coming to blows.”
“Of course,” I say, feigning a serious nod, “for my safety, right?”
“You are angry and confused—”
“Oh, figured that out, did you? You with your serious little mask and cute magic.”
“You will not antagonize me into hurting you,” they respond, a calm assurance in their otherwise monotone voice.
“I can certainly try. The fuck do you want me for? You want information on that other bitch that Darkrend has? Her name is Alexa. That’s all I’ve got.”
That quiets them for a few moments longer.
“What else do you know?” they lean forward a little.
“Only that Mary fucking lied to me. And, you know what?” I feel the terribly familiar pang of heartache.
It was so stupid to let myself even harbor those thoughts.
“What?” they ask, though I can’t tell if they actually care or not.
“Her lying to me hurt more than anything physical has.”
“The God Queen has her reasons,” they respond.
“Where the fuck is she, anyways?” I snap, anger burning back at the heartache. “Figured she’d want to lie to my face again about ‘trusting her’ or ’letting her explain.’”
“She has many responsibilities. None of them relate to you,” their words sting. Like a fucking knife to a hemorrhaging heart.
“So, what’s next? You going to torture me? Get your rocks off and poke at a Death Afflicted Remnant?”
“What do you see in the darkness, Hiraeth?”
“Ghosts, dickhead. I see ghosts.”
They pause, as if considering their next words.
“I want to train you. You are already powerful; there is no doubt. The God Queen has yet to suffer a wound in battle in many centuries and yet you, of all people, were able to harm her.”
Despite it all, worry licks at my mind.
“Is she—”
“She is fine. Your shadows managed to pierce her siphon. Though if it was through panic or concentrated efforts is yet to be seen.”
“You want to train me for what? I’m not going to be some fucking tool. I’m done being used,” I feel exhaustion digging at my senses.
“You said that already. But you will be more powerful than Darkrend or the God Queen.”
“Why would you want that?” I ask, letting out a humorless laugh.
“To balance the scales. To save us. To stop what is coming.”
I stare at the figure for a few moments, wondering who the fuck they think they are. And if they seriously think I’m dumb enough to take them up on this.
Because what other option are they leaving me with? They lied. Mary lied. The Guild lied. The NCPD lied.
They’re all fucking complicit in this mess of a world, and I don’t owe them shit.
“Go fuck yourself,” I spit. “Kill me or whatever, I don’t give a shit.”
“Get some sleep,” they say, rising. “We will speak in the morning.”
“Am I a prisoner here?” I ask, glaring up at them.
“No,” they say, tilting their head. “But you are grievously wounded. I suggest you try to rest.”
And they’re right. Though I can feel my legs this time, everything else hurts. A lot. Whatever I did, it’s healing slowly.
The door opens and closes as the figure leaves without another word.
The Affliction lamp snuffs and the shadows begin in earnest. I squeeze my eyes shut, but it’s no use.
“Murderer,” someone hisses beside me.
“Violator,” another says.
“Freak,” yet another.
My eyes stay closed. No point in acknowledging them. They just want the attention.
“I told you you’d never be loved. You’d never be accepted,” another one tries a different tactic.
“You act like I’m surprised,” I say, shifting. My ribs and spine hiss with the movement. “Disappointed, sure, but surprised?”
“You thought she was different, though,” the voice continues and this time I do open my eyes.
Titan.
“Oh, fuck you man,” I laugh out. “I don’t even remotely regret gutting you.”
“I would have never considered the great Dark One might get her heart broken by Bloody fucking Mary,” Titan continues.
“Are you going to just sit there and mock me?” I ask, glaring at the figure.
“Maybe,” he says, a grin evident in his voice though his helmet covers his face. “Are you going to try and slit your own throat?”
“I doubt they left anything sharp here,” I throw back. And everything hurts too much to check. “If they want to kill me, that’s one thing, but I’m not giving you the goddamned satisfaction of goading me into it. Not this time.”
No one responds, but I see their faces above me. Hovering like wild dogs waiting to attack.
Waiting to pounce.
“Fuck,” I hiss, gritting my teeth against the wave of hopelessness.
The first tear trails down my cheek. Then the second. I finally let loose after my vision blurs.
They descend on me. Not with mockery or jeering, but whispers. Whispered threats. Whispered commands. Whispered violence.
Tears turn the room into a slurry of darkness and faces. Spirits grin as they take turns goading me into finally ending it. Into taking that final action.
“I fucking tried,” I sob. “You stopped me.”
“That was you,” a voice hisses, far too close and I let out a sharp gasp.
The whispers turn into shrieks as razor sharp shadows swirl around my body. They’re mine, but they don’t feel right. They don’t look right.
I try to pull at them. To stop the manic movements, but they resist my commands.
The inky tendrils move like trained swordsmen, curling and diving at me.
They enter my upper thigh first. Then at my bicep. Again, and again and again. Blood seeps into the sheets, but I can feel these wounds healing as fast as they’re made.
They’re taking my power. They’re controlling my healing.
They’re using me like a goddamned puppet.
“Fucking stop,” I cry out, but they don’t listen.
Why would they?
One sharpened blade impales itself into my abdomen, the edge slicing cleanly through organs and intestines.
“No,” I shriek, the pain intense despite it being my own fucking power.
Shadows grip at my wrists and legs, their strength unyielding as they hold me against my fruitless struggle.
Nothing works. Nothing ends the pain. The dagger in my gut retracts and tilts back
Aiming for my face.
“No,” I moan, watching as it descends.
It traces along my throat, drawing a trickle of blood as it moves. I can’t feel the other wounds. I can’t feel anything.
I can’t—
The room explodes into an incandescent red. Daggers and tendrils dissolve like snow in the summer—wiped clean like they never existed in the first place.
“Arya?” a voice cries out, sounding genuinely horrified.
I stare into the red hue and see her—glowing red eyes wide with panic. Panic that I’ve never seen before. Not even when Darkrend had beat the fear of God into me.
And I don’t even believe in a God.
“Who did this to you?”
“I did,” I whimper, feeling the wound in my abdomen slowly begin to knit.
I can’t even muster up the strength to move when she closes the space between the bed and the door. She wraps long arms around me and pulls me tightly against her. The mattress dips as she slides onto it.
She smells of the same spiciness that clears the senses. Except I don’t want to be reasonable. I don’t want to think about what she’s doing. So, I lean in further, letting her hold me.
“What the fuck do you want from me?” I sob into her warmth.
“To help you control this. To help you become more powerful than any of us.”
“I don’t believe you,” the tears aren’t even embarrassing anymore. I haven’t cried this much in years, but here I am—crying against the chest of the woman who wants to use.
“I will never betray you, Arya,” her words are soft against my ear. “I need you to fight the darkness. Please.”
I only nod. Not sure of what I’m agreeing to, but certain that the plea in her voice is honest.
And it’s the last thing I hear, too, as my senses darken into comfortable nothingness.