Renegade (Trackers #2)

Chapter Twelve

MIGUEL

When we finally left Mark’s house, I was more convinced than ever that we’d done the right thing in going to him with our suspicions about John’s disappearance out there. Everything we’d discussed made sense and I was more than ever determined to figure out just what had happened to him. I knew in my heart that he wouldn’t have willingly gone along or in any way been involved with the rogue faction of the CIA, assuming our suspicions were right. And I took Mark at his word, that he would look into everything we’d talked about.

By the time Raven finally pulled up in front of the house, it was almost six-thirty. Fortunately, Dolly was a good person who’d stayed with Raven’s grandmother until we got there. I left him to make our apologies to her and went straight to the kitchen to start making dinner, knowing Raven always liked to spend time with his nana before tucking her in for the night. As I made sandwiches from a leftover ham Dolly had cooked earlier in the week and heated canned tomato soup, I went over everything that had happened today.

The very idea that John had been kidnapped and tortured by the CIA to get him to comply to their wishes, felt like a searing arrow had pierced my chest. I felt sick to my stomach as I thought about how badly he must have been hurt to bend to their will after all these years. We’d all seen the effects of what the CIA called the enhanced interrogation techniques they were all trained in. The empty shells of men who’d been subjected to unfathomable cruelty. It was one of the reasons I’d finished my final tour and put my military service in the rearview mirror even though two of my brothers had gone on and signed a new contract to stay and continue to serve. Americans were supposed to be the good guys.

If John had been broken and was with some rogue CIA faction, then it made sense why he hadn’t reached out to us—if he was really working with them. If he’d been tortured—and, God, I hoped he hadn’t—had he turned completely? Maybe they were holding something over his head…another reason for him to become a willing accomplice to whatever they were doing out there. I couldn’t fathom what it could be, though. John had always been a stand-up person and friend to all of us, even though he’d been our leader. He’d put himself in harm’s way to protect our asses out there many times. But then, I didn’t know the extent of what John had endured. None of this made any sense.

I’d given the phone to Mark so that he could have Mac McCallahan take a look at it, hopeful that he’d be able to figure out who’d assembled it and praying it wasn’t rigged to blow up. If something happened to our friend, I couldn’t live with myself. I had to take Mark at his word when he said Mac knew what he was doing, though. I knew just getting the thing out of Raven’s glove compartment would make him feel better and that meant everything to me. The need to protect my partner had never felt more urgent. The fucker in the stairwell was just the kind of person to hurt Raven if we didn’t cooperate with him and I wasn’t about to let that happen. I’d die first.

Raven came back into the kitchen as I sat in the nook scrolling through my phone. He looked haggard even though he was trying not to. I stood up as he walked in and went to the sink to wash his hands. I slid my arms around his middle and kissed the back of his neck. He leaned back into me.

“I love you,” I said against his skin before stepping away.

He shut off the water, grabbing a towel before turning to me. “I love you too, babe. I’d show you how much here and now, but if I don’t get something to eat in the next thirty seconds, I’m going to shrivel up and die.” He grinned which only made me chuckle.

“Well, I hope you like soup and sandwiches.” I pointed at the counter where our sandwiches sat beside a steaming pan of soup. “Dinner’s ready.”

“Oh, God, I could kiss you.” He walked over and brought the sandwiches to the table as I dished up big bowls of aromatic tomato soup. Tabasco and Tapatio were already waiting, so I slid into the booth across from him with the bowls. I watched him pick up one of the two sandwiches I’d put on his plate and peer at the contents. He smiled. “Dolly’s ham with lettuce and cheese? You’re so good to me.” I watched him take a huge bite as I picked up my own sandwich, chuckling. His eyes rolled back in his head as he chewed. Only Raven would be content with a bowl of soup and a couple of sandwiches for dinner. “I was starving ,” he said around a mouthful of food.

I nodded, chewing my own bite. It was delicious and such a simple meal. “I would have made something more elaborate, but if you’re as hungry as I am, I knew you wouldn’t want to wait.”

He shook his head as he chewed, picking up the soup spoon to dip into the hot soup. He added several squirts of Tabasco, stirring it in before dropping in a few oyster crackers from a bowl I’d set out earlier. We both loved hot sauce, and I counted myself fortunate in that, since it wasn’t that way with every guy I’d fed. I’d grown up on various chilis which my mama had pickled as well as jalapenos, putting them in everything she made. Fresh or jar brand peppers, I enjoyed them all, as did Raven. They’d been a staple in every Southwest kitchen, and his mother and grandmother had grown their own, pickled, and dried them. It was a nice thing to share with my partner.

“This is absolutely perfect,” he said, stuffing half of his first sandwich into his mouth and chewing around it. It was a pleasure watching his mouth work and I got a sudden urge to stand up and drag him off to the bedroom to put it to work on something entirely different. After we finished the dishes, I decided that was exactly what I was going to do. I smiled at him, and he looked over at me, cocking his head as he ate.

“What are you thinking?”

“What do you mean?” I tried to infuse just enough curiosity into my words to disguise the downright naughty things which were going through my mind.

“You look devilish,” he said, smiling around his spoon as he swallowed more soup.

I laughed. “Caught me. I was just thinking I love your mouth, and I can’t wait to put it to work on me as soon as we finish eating and clean up tonight.”

“I have to write a review and then I swear I’m all yours.”

I was glad he didn’t want to rehash everything Mark and I had talked about at his house. I was honestly tired of the subject and was pretty sure Raven was going to appreciate the plans I had to help him forget about strangers with guns, stolen jewels, and all the shit which may or may not have happened in Afghanistan all those years ago. I silently cursed John for coming back into my life at all and then felt guilty about my feelings.

I couldn’t help rehashing it in my own mind, though. I still found it far-fetched to think that they could have somehow gotten to John in the midst of a sandstorm, stealing him right out from under our noses. It was more likely they’d followed us out there intending on killing all of us. Obviously, they had no morals at all if they really were responsible for killing the forward scouts. Was it really possible that they could have used the cover of the sandstorm in order to steal the one they really wanted? Did John see something out there? That scenario made a lot more sense but if it’d happened, why hadn’t he told any of us. John and I were so close. I shook my head, trying to clear errant thoughts which kept crowding my mind.

“What?” Raven said, lowering his soup spoon, frowning a little.

I sighed. “It’s nothing. I just can’t keep my mind off John and what could have happened when he suddenly disappeared. And of course, all the stuff that happened today.”

Raven nodded, picking up his second sandwich to begin working on it. I sat silently watching him as I finished my own food. When we were both done, sated and full, we carried our dishes to the sink and stood side by side, falling into a silent dance as he washed, and I dried. After I’d placed the last of the dishes in the cupboard, I filled Stanley’s food and water bowls, dodging him as he came charging into the kitchen to eat. Raven laughed as he nearly tripped over the kitten who was almost the size of a fully grown cat by now. He was only seven and a half months old, but he was long and lean with a swishing, striped tail. He was going to be a big boy.

I took Raven’s hand and led him back through the house to our bedroom, passing Angelica’s closed door where we could hear soft snores. I really hoped she would recover and rejuvenate when we took her to Arizona as Raven wanted to do when this case was all over. Our room smelled of green tea and lemongrass, the scents I most associated with my man since his shampoo and bodywash smelled the same.

“I really need a shower,” he said.

“As luck would have it, so do I.”

He turned to look at me with those beautiful navy-blue eyes. They twinkled with interest when I waggled my brows suggestively. “I did tell you I have a review to write, correct? But I need a shower first.”

I sighed, determined not to let anything get between us tonight. I reached out and drew him up against my body. He’d already stripped halfway out of his shirt, undoing several buttons, so his skin burned against me. “You smell just fine to me,” I said, lowering my face to his neck where I could take a deep sniff as I planted my lips there and began kissing across his jaw.

“Miguel, I’m serious.” He wiggled free and I let him go. “Shower first, review after…then sex.”

I sank down on the edge of the bed and watched him closely. “Are we an old married couple?” I had to admit, I was slightly upset by the brush off.

He looked up at me from where he was bending to remove his moccasins. We both wore soft suede leather shoes in the house so there was no chance of scratching the hardwood floors. The look in his eyes was unreadable but there must have been something in my expression which affected him because the smile he’d been wearing suddenly vanished. He immediately straightened and came over to me, reaching out to cup my cheeks as he sank to his knees. I stared down at him, wondering if there was something that had happened today to make me lose my appeal. He’d never refused my advances before and the very thought that I’d done or said something that made him dislike me, made me slightly sick. Maybe finding out that I’d been a different man while in the military had turned him off. I swallowed as I looked at him.

“Is it…I mean, did I do something, Raven?” I swallowed. “I want you to know…I’m not that man anymore.”

He cocked his head, frowning at me. “ What man, Miguel?” He sounded so sad, and I knew I was the cause of it. Ever since I’d come into Raven’s life, I’d been nothing but trouble for him. He’d said it himself to Mark Evans today. I’d woken him many times, screaming from nightmares. Then again, I’d never met a man who didn’t suffer the aftereffects of what they’d witnessed in war. Maybe my nightmares had finally become too much for Raven to handle. Maybe his refusal was his way of telling me that things would be different now that he was being literally hunted by a man who’d almost shot him today. Or he thought I was as ruthless and evil as that man was.

I turned away, fixing my gaze on the floor as I reached up to run a hand through my hair, unable to look into his eyes as shame washed over me. I shrugged my shoulders. “I…did things over there.” I flicked him a look and his eyes widened making me rush to correct myself. “Never murder or anything close to it. I didn’t kill civilians although sometimes, I admit, they got caught in the crossfire. But it was never intentional. I can’t lie to you about it—” I looked back at him. “But I swear, Raven, I’ve never hurt anyone just for the sake of hurting them. I’m so not that kind of man.”

He made a distressed sound, reaching out to cup my face in both warm hands. I tried to pull away, but he held me fast, turning my face to look directly into my eyes. “Is that what you think? That I don’t want you anymore because I’ve learned a few things about your military service?” I didn’t say anything as he continued. “Miguel, I’m only going to say this once. I will always want you…no matter what. I love the man you are.” He reached down and put a hand over my thudding heart.

“I love this big, warm heart. You’re the kindest man I’ve ever met. When you took care of me after I was shot, you showed me the man you are.” I stared at the sincerity in his eyes. He smiled a little. “If you were unkind, you wouldn’t be able to take care of a tiny, abandoned kitten the way you did. Stanley adores you. That’s not the mark of an unkind master. So, I don’t care about what happened.” He leaned in to kiss me softly before sitting back on his heels as he went back to unbuttoning his shirt. “Whatever it was, I know you did it because you were fighting a war.”

I nodded, feeling choked up. I don’t know why I felt like pressing the matter but I didn’t want anything to stand between us anymore. I felt like the conversation was long overdue. “I’m a Marine, Raven. I served my country with honor, but there were things—”

Raven shook his head. “I don’t care.” He waved a hand at me. “Now, get out of those clothes so we can shower together.”

“All right, fine.” I smiled as I started unbuttoning my shirt. The relief I felt was overwhelming. I adored this man and his unconditional love for me. I stripped off the last of my clothes, leaving them on the bed, and followed Raven into the bathroom. Dragging my eyes away from his ass long enough to glance in the mirror over the bathroom counter, I looked wrecked. I wondered when I’d started feeling like shit, because I’d actually woken up in a pretty good mood. Determined to shake off my broody mood, I stepped into the shower with Raven and let the heated water slide over my body. It felt so good as my muscles began to relax. When Raven picked up the bodywash and began sliding his hands over my body, I closed my eyes, leaning with my back against the wall as he worked his way over my chest and then moved lower.

The moment Raven’s fist slid over my cock, I was lost. I let my head thunk back against the tile and I began to harden as he slowly started stroking me. He moved closer, so close I could feel the heat coming off his body. When he dropped a kiss on my lips, I slid my arms around him. He let go of my dick and twined his arms around my neck, sliding his fingers into the short hair at the nape, rocking his groin against mine. He was also hard. It felt so good to be this close, without a stitch of clothing between us. The bodywash acted as perfect lubrication between us as we kissed, water sluicing over our bodies.

There was nothing rushed about being together like this. I loved taking the kissing slow and easy. I knew Raven loved the building heat just as much as he loved it when I fucked him hard against a wall, half dressed with his pants around his ankles. But this was something entirely different. We were sharing something that needed no words.

When Raven finally broke the kiss and stepped back, I opened my eyes, immediately regretting the loss of heat from his lips. When he slowly licked over his lips and smiled, I knew he felt the same way. He kept eye contact as he slid both hands down my chest and went to his knees. I sucked in a breath as he reached for my cock and slid his mouth over the fat head. Groaning, I let both hands fall to his head as he sucked me inside his hot mouth. I loved this. Having him suck me off while I held onto his head was my favorite thing. He seemed to love how aggressively I thrust my cock deeper into his mouth. He took it greedily, sucking it just the way I liked.

He reached for my balls and let my hard dick slide out of his mouth as he bent his head and sucked on one nut. He kept eye contact as he swallowed around it, applying just enough pressure between his tongue and the roof of his mouth to make me groan in pleasure.

“That’s it, Sunshine…just like that,” I gasped. “You know just how to suck me.” I tugged on his hair, loving the way its soft texture slid through my fingers, making it hard to hold onto. He was so beautiful, and I thanked God that I’d found a man who loved going down on me. He moved on to the other ball, kneading it with his mouth, drooling around my sac as the water from the showerhead poured down our bodies. By the time he moved back to my dick and slurped it into his mouth, I was close to coming. “Raven,” I gasped. “Keep that up and you’re gonna get a mouthful of come.”

He smiled around my cock, looking up at me through wet lashes, and sucked even harder. I pulled on his short hair as I felt the first tingles of my climax begin in the small of my back.

“Oh, Christ, Raven!” When my orgasm hit all at once and I shot into his mouth, he swallowed around my dick, closing his eyes as if he was savoring every drop. It took long seconds as he swallowed each thick spurt of me emptying my balls into his mouth. Shivers ran up and down my spine and I blew out a long breath, finally relaxing my fingers and releasing his hair. He pulled off my cock with a pop and reached up to wipe away water and any remnants of my spunk that had escaped his lips. I leaned back on the wall again and he got to his feet, immediately moving in close for a kiss. I opened my mouth and tasted my come on his tongue as he kissed me deeply, moaning into my mouth.

“Come on, baby,” he said, shutting off the taps. “I’m not finished with you. Let’s take this to the bed.”

My entire body was relaxed as we stepped out of the shower and dried off with fluffy, white towels. In the bedroom, we immediately headed for the bed. Raven was still hard, and I loved the way his beautiful cock was dark and ruddy, bobbing like an invitation as he moved into the center of the bed. He spread his legs and grabbed the base of his thick shaft, giving it several strokes.

“Come and ride me, Miguel,” he said with a grunt. “I’m gonna bury my cock deep inside you.”

He didn’t have to ask twice. Though we’d started this relationship with him bottoming most of the time, I’d grown accustomed to switching off now and then. The very idea of feeling his beautiful cock inside me—stretching and filling me—made my whole body shiver with pleasure. I grabbed the lube from the bedside table drawer, opening and shutting it so fast, the lamp rattled. I crawled across the bed, throwing one leg over as he grabbed my hips and moved me into place.

Straddling him, I bent down to kiss his tempting mouth. I loved Raven’s mouth. Everything about this man made me feel wonderful. He was sexy as hell as he lubed up his cock, holding it up as I used my thigh muscles to lift up and move into place. I felt the head of his cock bump against my hole, and I took a deep breath as he eased himself inside. Every time we did this, it felt new to me. I loved making love to him and the way he seemed to know everything about my body. It made me feel closer to him than any man I’d ever known.

“That’s it, Miguel,” he said through gritted teeth. “Jesus, you’re so tight.” Raven’s voice was hoarse with desire as his fingers dug into my hips, guiding me down until he was fully seated in my ass. I moved gingerly, rocking up and down several times to take his whole cock. He was big, bigger than any man I’d ever been with before and I loved it. I braced my hands on his chest, loving the two nipple bars he’d put in as he’d dressed this morning. I knew how sensitive his nipples were and how much he loved it when I played with them as we made love. I paid attention to them now, squeezing them and tugging on the bars until he was moaning.

“You like that, huh , Sunshine?” I asked, lifting nearly off his cock before sinking back down and engulfing it again. It scraped over my prostate, making me almost insane with pleasure. There was no sensation I loved more, and Raven knew it. He was panting by the time I finally started bouncing on his dick. I was right there with him. I focused my gaze on my own leaking dick, loving the way it looked when precome slid out of the slit as it bobbed with the force of his thrusts. When I reached for it, he batted my hand away and took over, stroking me in time. I was so close, so near a second orgasm, I could barely stop it. My movements became choppy and when he hit my prostate again, I felt my second climax rush in on me.

“Miguel—” he gasped—“Gonna come…gonna fill you so full.”

His declaration made me crazy. “Yeah, Sunshine,” I grunted. “Come inside me!” I cried out. Jizz shot out of my cock, arcing in the air before painting his smooth, almost hairless chest in glossy, white ribbons. The sight of the spatters looked downright nasty and it must have felt like that for him too. I felt his cock swell inside me a second before he cried out, digging the fingers of both hands into my hips so hard, I knew I’d be bruised in the morning. I didn’t care, though; I planned on wearing those bruises with pride, knowing every time I saw them, I’d remember what caused them. When he finally slowed his thrusts, I sighed, blowing out a long, sated breath.

I leaned down, feeling the throb of his dick still buried in my ass and slid my hand over his head. It was wet with sweat from his exertions. I kissed him messily. His kisses were gentler now, slowly eating at my mouth and then simply allowing himself to relax as I finally broke the kiss and sat back up. I smiled down at him, adoring the lazy, fucked out expression on his flushed face.

“Jesus…Raven…you’re completely amazing.” He grunted, looking very satisfied with himself. A grimace crossed his face as his cock slipped out of my wet ass, followed by a rush of fluid. I rolled to my back beside him, feeling my hammering heart as I felt the sticky wetness sliding between my cheeks. It was equally odd and sexy as hell at the same time. I glanced over at him. He looked completely decadent, messy with my come spattering his chest, pooling in the divots of his delicious abs. He glanced over and smiled at me, reaching down, and running his fingers through the puddles like an artist, painting a canvas with my spunk. “I swear, that was—”

“Fucking hot? Yeah,” I said, chuckling as I turned away from him and grabbed tissues for us both.

“I feel like I need another shower,” he said, sleepily wiping at the mess.

I threw my head back and laughed. “I don’t think so. Wasn’t there something about a fucking review.”

His eyes widened as he sat up quickly. “Oh shit. Yeah, I need to write it before I forget. I feel like I’m a little bit behind in things with everything that’s been going on.”

“Sorry.” I sighed, resting my hand on my chest as I stared up at the ceiling.

“It’s all good.”

I briefly glanced over at him beside me; he was already reaching for his spare pillow and his tablet. I could barely keep my eyes open. “I hope you don’t mind if I just fall asleep, Raven. As much as I want to keep you company, I just don’t know if I can stay awake.” I closed my eyes and felt him brush a hand over my forehead.

“Go to sleep, my angel. You can read it in the morning. I don’t feel as antsy now.”

They were the last words I heard before slipping into a deep, dreamless sleep.