Chapter 4
D uke insisted on carrying the baby and most of the groceries upstairs to her new apartment. As McKenzie followed with two of the bags, she was filled with a warm feeling of homecoming, which was odd since she’d never stepped foot in this place until an hour ago.
But he’d made her feel so welcome and had gone above and beyond to make sure she and Jax would be comfortable. While he made a second trip to the truck, she asked herself when was the last time someone had considered her needs and tended to them the way he had?
Never.
One of her earliest memories was standing on a kitchen chair making scrambled eggs for herself and her mother while her mom was in one of her low periods. She didn’t recall learning how to scramble eggs. Maybe she’d been born knowing how. That wouldn’t surprise her. She couldn’t remember a time when her mother had taken care of her. It had always been the other way around.
That could be why she often put up with crap she never should’ve tolerated in her relationships with men, always hoping to find someone who’d put her first. Thankfully, she was mostly prepared to stand on her own two feet, except for when a hurricane came and knocked down the beloved cabin in which she’d planned to make a home for herself and her son.
The part of her starved for someone who gave a shit about her wanted to wallow in Duke’s TLC, but she knew better than to go there. If she’d learned anything, it was that there was no point in investing that kind of hope in other people. They always disappointed her.
Jax’s father was the latest in a long line of people who’d let her down.
“Thank you again for everything, Duke. I don’t know what we would’ve done without your help.”
“Happy to do it. I’m right across the yard if you need anything.”
“That’s good to know.”
He gave the baby’s foot a little tweak that made Jax giggle. “Sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite.” He quickly added, “Not that there are any of those in here.”
McKenzie laughed. “I’m not worried about that.”
“Okay, then. Sleep tight, both of you.”
“We will, thanks to your kindness.”
“No problem.”
McKenzie walked him to the door and watched him go down the stairs, whistling a chirpy tune as he went.
Though she knew she had nothing to fear from him, she still flipped the lock on the screen door before she went to feed and bathe Jax and get him down for the night in the portable crib. Thank goodness for the new friends who’d made sure they had everything they needed, including the car seat.
She and Jax went through their usual ritual of a final feeding, story and snuggle before she tucked him in with Mr. Bear. He was rubbing his eyes, which was always a good sign that he was ready to sleep.
With the baby down for the count, McKenzie made herself a salad and sat on the sofa to eat. This was the time of day when loneliness set in, making her aware of how alone she was in the world, other than Jax, of course. He was the purest joy in her life and had been from the second he was born, even if single motherhood had been the most daunting thing she’d ever faced.
She’d made it through the first nine months, a day at a time, most of it living with her mother until that’d become untenable. Desperately needing a change, she’d decided to come to the island to check out the cottage her grandmother had left to her, even if the idea of living on a remote island with an infant had been almost as daunting as single motherhood.
She’d loved the time they’d spent there before the storm hit. Now that Duke had taken care of her most pressing need for a roof over their heads, she had to figure out what to do about the cottage. The insurance company had told her an agent would be coming to the island this week to survey her damage and that of a few other residents. Once she knew what the payout would be, she could determine the next steps. In the meantime, she’d been putting off viewing the damage personally because she’d been afraid to see the cabin destroyed.
Tomorrow, she’d go over there to sift through the rubble and hopefully find some more of her things. Thankfully, her grandmother had paid the insurance for three years, which would end next year, so the repairs should be covered. Or so she hoped, but she had no clue how to go about rebuilding a house on Gansett Island.
One thing at a time, MK . The words came to her in her grandmother’s voice, which made her smile because that’s exactly what Rosemary would’ve said if she’d been there. And she was right. Today had been a good day, thanks to Duke, Tiffany and Blaine, new friends who’d stepped up for her when she needed them most.
In the morning, she’d begin the process of figuring out her next steps. Duke had been on the island for years and knew everyone. He’d mentioned Mac McCarthy, who ran a construction business. Maybe Duke could put her in touch with Mac.
McKenzie went to close the inside door and spotted Duke sitting next to a fire under lights that’d been strung through the trees, giving his firepit area a magical vibe. He was working on something, but she couldn’t see what.
She checked on Jax, who was sound asleep. After cracking the window in his room so she’d hear him if he awakened, she went down the stairs, crossing the yard to the firepit and stopping short when she saw what Duke was doing. “Are you… cross-stitching ?” Nothing in her life had ever surprised her more.
He gave a sheepish grin and a shrug. “Rosemary taught me how years ago. It’s oddly relaxing. Don’t tell the guys at the shop, okay?”
McKenzie smiled, ridiculously charmed by his confession. “Your secret is safe with me.” And then she had another thought. “The pillows in the apartment… Did you make them?”
“Maybe?”
They’d been the first thing she noticed. “They’re incredible! You’re very talented.”
“I don’t know about that, but it’s something to do at night rather than rot my brain in front of the TV. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
McKenzie sat in the Adirondack chair next to him. “She taught me how, too, but it never took with me. My attention to detail isn’t what it needed to be, or so she said.”
“That sounds like her. ‘Duke,’ she’d say, ‘if you don’t apply yourself, you’ll never learn anything new.’”
McKenzie laughed. “I’ve heard that one a time or two myself. I used to say, ‘I am applying myself. This is what I’m capable of.’ She didn’t like that answer.”
“No, she wouldn’t have cared for that.”
“I still can’t believe you’re a cross-stitcher.”
“Messes with my image as a tough guy, huh?”
“Kinda?” She tried to suppress the giggle that gurgled from deep inside but failed miserably.
His eyes danced with amusement, which was when she realized that not only was he handsome, but he was also kind of sexy. “Are you laughing at me by any chance?”
“I’d never do that.”
“And yet…”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s funny. A long-haired, tattooed dude like me isn’t exactly the target audience for cross-stitch. I was next door one day and saw her doing it, asked what it was, and she showed me. I thought it looked fun and a bit challenging, so she set me up with a simple sampler, and that was that. I’ve been at it ever since.”
“I’m seriously impressed.”
“I see it as a way to be creative without having to expend as much mental energy as I do at the shop when I’m permanently marking someone’s skin with art.”
“I get that. What’re you making?”
He turned the sampler, which was held tight by a wooden loop around it, so she could see it. “I’m making this one up as I go.”
McKenzie was stunned by the gorgeous field of wildflowers in an array of dazzling colors, shapes and sizes. “You’re making it up? Not following a pattern?”
“Nope.” He handed her a drawing done in colored pencil. “I’m following that—loosely.”
“Now, that is seriously impressive.”
“I’ve been freelancing for years, so it’s not that hard anymore. Takes forever to get stuff shipped out here. I started making up my own designs so I wouldn’t get bored waiting for new ones to arrive.”
“You’re very talented.”
“Art is the one thing I got.”
“You’re lucky to have that one thing. I’m still looking for mine.”
“I thought you were a woodworker?”
“I’m a wannabe woodworker. I have the interest but not the skills. Not yet, anyway.”
“What do you do for work?”
“I’ve kind of bounced around from one career to another—my degree is in fashion, but I’ve never really used it. In hindsight, I probably should’ve majored in something that lent itself to a real salary. I was working in retail when Jax happened.”
“So he was a surprise, was he?”
“You could say that. I’d been seeing his dad for a year when I got pregnant. I was on birth control that didn’t work, which was a shock, to say the least. When I told him I was pregnant, that’s when I found out he’s married with a wife and two kids and wasn’t interested in another. He told me he’d had a vasectomy, so the baby couldn’t be his. That was almost worse than the wife and kids, since he knew I’d been faithful to him, which was more than he could say.”
“I’m so sorry. That’s awful. What a loser .”
McKenzie smiled at the emphatic way he said that last word. “Yeah, he was. He lied to me about everything, and I found out the hard way. But it’s okay. I’d rather raise Jax on my own than have him around a man who lies and cheats and runs from his obligations.”
“That’s the way to be.”
“I really loved him, though, so it was a rough time. It got better after Jax arrived. It’s hard to be sad when he’s the most cheerful, happy little guy.”
“He’s a cutie.”
“He really is. The way I see it, I’ve got a built-in best friend, at least until he becomes a cranky teenager.”
“I bet he’ll always be your best friend.”
“That’d be nice.” She glanced up at the lights. “I like the lights.”
“I do, too. They’re solar. I have them on a timer to come on every night.”
“That’s cool. They look great strung through the trees.”
“I love them.”
“Well, I’d better get back upstairs in case Jax wakes up.” He never did, but she didn’t want to outstay her welcome when Duke was trying to relax.
“Don’t rush off on my account. It’s cool to have someone to chat with.”
“You’re a very nice man, Duke. Why aren’t you married with a bunch of kids?”
He grunted out a laugh. “Came close once, but that was ages ago.”
“What happened?” She asked the question before she took the time to think about it. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me. I shouldn’t have asked that.”
“It’s fine. She didn’t like it here, and this is my home. In a choice between her and Gansett, I chose Gansett.”
“What did she say?”
“At first, she couldn’t believe it, but when I refused to change my mind, she finally got the message. If she wanted me, she was going to have to live here. I guess she didn’t want me that much, which is fine. I’d rather find that out than have her suck it up and make me hate it here, too, you know?”
“Definitely.”
“Took me a long time to find a place that felt like home. I wasn’t willing to give it up.”
“I’m glad you stuck to your guns.”
“Rosemary was very good to me after that happened. I was a little heartbroken at first, but she told me I’d done the right thing not to give up something that meant so much to me.”
“She would know. After my grandfather died, her children pressured her to sell her place out here. They didn’t want her coming out alone for the summers. She flatly refused and told them all to mind their own business and quit telling her how to live her life.”
“She told me about that. She said we have to fight for the things that’re important to us. Gansett was more important to me than the girlfriend was, she said, so I made the right choice for myself. She knew I wouldn’t have been happy somewhere else. As always, she was right.”
“I love that you two were such buddies.”
“We really were. She was very important to me.”
“For what it’s worth, I agree with her. I think you did the right thing. No one is worth giving up the things that mean the most to you.”
“That’s true, but it was still a rather bitter pill when you think you’ve found ‘the one’.”
“I’m sure.”
“What about you? Never been married?”
“Nah, I’m not a big fan of marriage,” she said. “I don’t get why people are still bothering to get married. Why not live together and have a family and be together every day by choice rather than because you’re legally bound to someone?”
“That’s a good point. I think people like the tradition of it.”
“Which is fine, but when it’s so damned complicated and costly to get out of a marriage, and half of them end in divorce anyway, why does anyone take a risk like that?”
Duke thought about that for a second. “Hard telling. I guess in most cases, it’s a leap of faith.”
“Definitely. A scary leap of faith that I’d prefer not to take. I love the idea of two people choosing to be together because they want to be, not because the law says they have to be.”
“Playing devil’s advocate… People who get married seem to like the comfort of knowing that one person is theirs for a lifetime.”
“I don’t like the thought of someone belonging to someone. We all belong to ourselves, not anyone else.”
“Also a good point. I should’ve said the comfort of commitment, not belonging.”
“That’s fair. Sorry if I got a little heated.”
“You didn’t. It’s an interesting point of view.”
“Especially from a woman my age who’s supposed to be enthusiastically in the market for a husband.”
He cracked up. “You said that, not me.”
McKenzie laughed with him. “Yes, I did because it’s true. After you hit twenty-five, everyone thinks something’s wrong with you if you’re not married or heading that way. I hate that kind of societal pressure.”
“Have you felt that pressure?”
“God, yes. My mother wants me married yesterday, especially since both my sisters got married in the last few years.”
“Why is she pushing it so hard?”
“Who knows? It makes no sense. Marriage ended badly for her twice. I’m not sure why she’s still such a fervent believer.”
“Rosemary told me when she got divorced the first time, from your father, I guess.”
“Yes, he was first. The second one was worse than the first, which I wouldn’t have thought possible.”
“Ouch. No wonder you’re not exactly jumping for joy at the idea of getting married someday.”
“Exactly. I’ve witnessed two ugly divorces up close and personal. No, thanks.”
“Understandable.”
“What about your parents? Are they still together?”
“I was raised mostly in the system. My mom resurfaced when I was an adult, and I talk to her occasionally, but we’re not close. Never knew my dad.”
“Oh.” McKenzie was momentarily stunned. “That must’ve been tough.”
“It was. At times. Other times, it was fine.” He shrugged. “I survived it.”
McKenzie had so many questions she had no right to ask him. As messed up as her family had been, she couldn’t imagine growing up with no family at all.
“Hey, don’t be sad for me. I’m okay. I swear. I’ve created a family of my own that makes me very happy, which is why I wouldn’t leave the island even to save the relationship with my girlfriend. All the other people I love are here.”
“That makes perfect sense.”
“It didn’t to her,” he said with a smile.
McKenzie loved the way that smile softened his hard edges. “No, I’m sure it didn’t, but sometimes we have to do what’s best for us, even if it’s not best for others.”
“That’s so very true. Is that what you did when you came here?”
“Absolutely. I had to get away from well-meaning people who wanted to tell me how to live my life and raise my son. My mother and sisters were a huge help to me when he was first born, but after a while, I felt like I wasn’t making any of my own decisions. And listening to my mother tell me every day that I’d made a mess of my life wasn’t helping anything.”
“Yeah, that’s not something anyone needs to hear on the daily.”
“It chips away at you and makes you question everything, especially coming from someone whose whole life had been a mess of her own making. At least out here, for better or worse, whatever happens, it’s my choice. Well, except for the part about the house falling down.”
Duke’s laugh was a rich, joyful sound. “Sorry. It’s not funny.”
“It kind of is. I run away from my entire support system to end up homeless in a matter of days.”
“You’re not homeless.”
“Thanks to you!”
“If not me, someone else around here would’ve stepped up for you and Jax. That’s how it works on Gansett Island.”
“I like it here.”
“So do I.”
“The insurance adjuster is supposedly coming out this week, but what do I do about fixing the cabin?” she asked.
“Tomorrow, we’ll talk to Mac McCarthy about rebuilding. He’s got a construction company and a bunch of guys working for him, most of them his cousins, and they get shit done around here.”
“I hope he can fit me in.”
“He’ll do what he can for you. He’s a good dude. I’ll give him a call in the morning.”
“Oh wow. Thank you.”
“No problem. One of the things I love best about island life is how we all step up for each other. If someone needs something, people find a way to make it happen. When my friend Lisa was dying from cancer, her neighbors Seamus and Carolina O’Grady helped take care of her young sons and then took them in after she died.”
“That’s lovely and so sad.”
“It was all the things, but she got to die knowing her precious babies would be well loved and well cared for by good people who’d keep them here in the place that was their home. They wouldn’t have to change schools or leave their friends in addition to losing her.”
“How’re they doing now?”
“After a rough few months, they’re thriving. And, in an interesting development, their biological father showed up out here a while back, after having done time in prison, and is now part of their lives as well. He didn’t know Lisa had died, and by the time he found out, they’d already found a whole new life. We were thankful that Jace didn’t upset their new lives. Rather, he’s become a friend to all of them, and as Seamus and Caro say, it’s one more person who loves the boys.”
“What a story. It’s funny that I think of this place as vacations and sunsets and beach days and sailing and all the fun things. But real life happens here, too.”
“Lots of it. Especially when a hurricane comes along to remind us how vulnerable we are.”
“Yes, for sure.” McKenzie glanced at her phone and was shocked to realize an entire hour had passed while they chatted like old friends. “I, uh, should go check on Jax. It was nice to talk to you.”
“You, too.”
“Sleep well,” she added.
“I always do. Hope you will as well.”
“I’ll sleep well tonight in your comfortable apartment.”
“I’ll make that call for you in the morning.”
“Thanks again for everything. You’ve been an amazing new friend.”
“Pleasure’s all mine.”
As she went up the stairs to the apartment, she said a silent thank-you to her grandmother for making a friend of Duke. Rosemary always had great taste in people—she hadn’t liked either of her daughter’s husbands—and because of that, it was easier for McKenzie to immediately put her trust in him. There’s no way she would’ve invested her time and energy into Duke if she hadn’t seen true potential in him.
The Rosemary seal of approval meant the world to her.
She checked on Jax, who was sleeping soundly, and closed the window she’d opened so she’d hear him from downstairs.
As she got ready for bed, she thought about the things she’d learned about Duke over the last hour, from the cross-stitching—she’d never get over that discovery—to being raised in the foster care system to giving up a woman he’d loved for Gansett, which he loved more. He’d led an interesting life, to be certain, and talking to him had been easy, as if they’d known each other much longer than the ten days since he’d come looking for them after the storm and found them at Tiffany’s.
The sheets and pillows smelled of fresh air, which meant he’d gone to some trouble to make sure she was cozy and comfortable.
He was sweet, thoughtful, handsome in his own special way and had already stepped up for her more than some people she’d known all her life ever had.
For the first time in a while, she was looking forward to what tomorrow might bring.