6. Chapter 5
Chapter 5
Law
T hree more hours. According to maps, that’s all we had left to go. The kids had finally fallen asleep just after we exited I-81 near Watertown and it was basically a straight shot down Route 11 until we finally made it to Fairville. I was glad for the silence, because no matter how well behaved my children were, being cooped up in a car for three days was enough to try anyone’s patience.
The novelty of the road trip had worn off for them by the end of day one. While they all had tablets to entertain them—Cait and I didn’t care how much screen time they got during the trip, as long as they were occupied—there was only so much they could take. The SUV wasn’t that big and the excitement had disappeared and devolved into someone always being in someone else’s space. Or someone talking or chewing too loud. Or once, Marlie yawning in Tristan’s direction, which sent my son into a meltdown.
It was a lot.
But we persevered. Caitlyn and I traded off driving to get as much time on the road as we could. The kids, honestly, had been troopers through the whole thing. Yes, there had been some bickering, but overall, they’d handled it well. But that didn’t mean that all five of us weren’t ready to reach our destination.
It had been a tight squeeze at the end, and we almost hadn’t left on time. As it was, we hit the road a day later than we’d originally intended, but that was due to a mix up with the moving company only sending one truck. It was supposed to be two, since one was going to Fairville and the other to Boston. Fortunately, they took responsibility, sent another truck immediately, and sorted out the problem. We managed to squeeze a few last minute “necessities” into the back of the SUV and the U-Haul trailer, then hit the road.
But it was the Saturday before Christmas, we were only a few hours from Fairville, and even though we’d had setbacks, we were making it before the big day, just like I’d promised everybody.
“Mom?”
Caitlyn turned in her seat to face Harper. I glanced in the rearview mirror to check on her. I thought she’d been asleep like her siblings, but maybe she’d only been dozing. Either way, she was awake now, her eyebrows scrunched in the way that she had when she was thinking.
“What’s up?” Cait kept her voice low so as not to wake the other two. I wasn’t as worried about that, since Tristan could sleep through a bomb when he was out like this and Marlie was completely slumped sideways, letting me know she was good and asleep.
“You’re gonna be there for Christmas, right?”
“Yes.” I could tell by Caitlyn’s voice she was smiling. “We’ll all get to celebrate together.”
“But after…then you’re moving?”
Harper had an edge in her voice that I’d come to know well. Her anxiety was spiking, and so she was checking, making sure the plan was the same. She was so much like Charlie sometimes that I joked she was his kid instead. But learning to help Charlie gave me good practice to help my daughter.
“That’s right,” Caitlyn said. She’d learned, too. “I’m going to leave for Boston the day after Christmas. Just like we talked about.”
I glanced back in time to see Harper nod. But that frown was still there. She was twirling her hair around one finger as well.
“Mom? Are you going to be there for Marlie’s birthday?”
Cait’s gaze slid to me. I let go of the wheel long enough to squeeze her knee, encouraging her to be honest. Not that she was the type to make false promises. But as much as she wanted this job, and as much as I was the one to handle the kids day-to-day, Cait hated letting them down.
Caitlyn took a deep breath before she said, “I’m going to try. But I’m starting my new job on January second, remember? And it’ll be just a few weeks before your sister’s birthday. I might not be able to be there in person.”
“Yeah.” Harper sounded thoughtful more than upset. Cait and I were both quiet, letting Harper work through what she wanted to say. It took a couple of minutes, but she finally spoke. “What you do is really important, and you save lives. Sometimes you missed stuff back home too.”
Cait gripped my thigh, just for a second, but I understood. She was tapping me in, asking for help.
“That’s right, sweetheart. Mom’s super important, and we’re proud of her and what she does. But that means sometimes she has to miss time with the family. None of us like it, but we have to think about all the good she does. Her patients need her.”
“I know.” Harper was quiet for a few seconds. “It’s gonna be different though, because you’re gonna be living in a different city.”
Caitlyn’s inhale was a little shaky. “It will be. But you know what?”
“What?”
“There is no one on this whole planet I trust more than your dad. Not a single person. And I know he’s going to take care of you and Marlie and Tris so well. I won’t have to worry about a thing. And there’s a whole bunch of people who are going to help him. You all told me all about them when you got home, and I can’t wait to meet them.” Caitlyn leaned between the seats to hold out a hand, which Harper took. “And you know what else?”
It was a callback to a game they used to play, when Harper was younger and relaying all the goings on of the day to her mother. That got the smallest giggle out of Harper. “What else?”
“Uncle Charlie is the person I trust second most. And if your dad and Uncle Charlie are there, I know you’re going to be the happiest kids in the world. So I can do my job, and we’ll see each other as much as we can, and all of us will be happy.”
“That’s important,” Harper said, her tone far wiser than an eleven-year-old should be.
“It’s the most important thing. Dad and I talked for a really long time about the best way to make sure all of us are happy, and we really think this is it. We wouldn’t be doing it otherwise. But Harper, I want you to remember one thing. You don’t have to be happy every second of every day. Sometimes you might be sad or mad or frustrated. It’s the overall happy that Dad and I want, right?”
“So like, feel my feelings, but if I’m happy most of the time, then I know you guys made the right choice?”
I laughed. “You got it, kiddo. How’d you get so smart?”
Another glance back to see Harper’s mischievous grin appear. “Uncle Charlie.”
We all laughed then, even though she was probably telling the truth. I loved the bond my eldest had with my brother, and they had been talking more and more lately. Charlie assured me that she was doing okay with everything, from the divorce to the move, and I was glad Harper had someone to talk to. Did I miss the days when my little girl came to me to solve all of her problems? Of course I did. But I was grateful she was able to have a solid sounding board.
It was only a few minutes later when Caitlyn turned back around and adjusted herself in her seat. A glance in the mirror showed that Harper’s eyes were once again closed. It must have been weighing on her for her to drop off so easily now that the conversation was over. At her age, she didn’t let me in as easily as she used to and I knew that. But just as I was glad that she had Charlie to turn to talk things out, I was doubly so that when it mattered, she knew she could talk to us. Of course, Charlie had probably encouraged her.
I stayed silent for a few more minutes, but when I heard that tiny, whiffling snore, I knew Harper was truly asleep. I kept my voice to a whisper. “She’s out. You okay?”
Caitlyn nodded and patted my hand where it rested on the steering wheel. Her voice was just as soft. “Yeah. I know we made the right decision. And I meant what I said to Harper.” She sighed. “I don’t want them to resent me.”
“They won’t.” Despite my quiet tone, I made sure Cait could hear my conviction. “You being fulfilled and happy, and a present mom when you’re together, is far better than you resenting them some day because we made different choices.”
“I know you’re right.” Another sigh. “But thousands of parents don’t have a choice, you know? Children are supposed to come first.”
“Caitlyn,” I said as gently as possible. “You are putting your kids first. This is what’s best for them. And we’re lucky that we are in a position where we have a choice. You get your dream, and they get the best version of you when they have you. And the rest of the time, they get me, and Uncle Charlie, a doting set of grandparents, and more aunts and uncles.”
She smiled her genuine smile. “That does sound pretty awesome.”
I chuckled, then quickly glanced back, but all three kids were still asleep. I bumped Caitlyn with my elbow. “It will be. I know it. So no more doubts, okay?”
“It wasn’t doubt, exactly. I just needed the reassurance. Thanks, Law.”
“Anytime.”
It started to snow just as we pulled into Black Dog Inn. The kids woke up as I slowed, and it only took them a second to realize we finally arrived. After reminding Tristan to use his inside voice, I asked the kids what they thought seeing all the snow and what they wanted to do. Tristan, unsurprisingly, wanted a snowball fight. Marlie wanted to make a snowman. Harper thought maybe it was too cold and she wanted to watch the flakes fall from inside. Caitlyn agreed with her.
Charlie had told me to follow the drive past the Inn and straight to the Yellow House, as it was apparently now called. He assured me that they would make sure it was plowed and salted, so I did as instructed and followed the curve around the main building and down to the house. I should have guessed that there would be a welcoming committee standing on the front porch.
“Uncle Charlie! Uncle Teague!” Tristan screamed, though with the windows closed and the distance still between us, the men couldn’t hear my son.
“Hang on, Tris. They can’t hear you.”
I wasn’t used to driving in snow, and though we’d passed through snow, the roads we’d traveled on had been clear, so I was still cautious as I brought the SUV to a stop. I didn’t pay any attention to the hoard descending the steps as I quickly popped open the backdoor. I knew I had to get Tristan out or he might actually explode. He already had his buckles undone when I opened the door and launched himself into my arms.
“Uncle Charlie!” Tris took off but he only had to make it five feet before Charlie was there to scoop him up and hug him tightly.
“I’m so happy to see you, Tris!” Charlie had tears in his voice, and I understood the feeling.
“Tristan, I need a hug and to hear all about your trip.” Teague made a show of stealing Tristan from Charlie. I was close enough to hear him murmur, “Go hug your brother.”
Even through the bulky coat, I could tell my brother had filled out a little and damn, I was glad for it. He’d always been lanky, but coupled with the body dysmorphia and the way he couldn’t eat when he was upset, he’d been downright skinny. Now there was a bit more meat on his bones, and I knew it was from being thoroughly loved. It was the only thing I’d ever wanted from him.
“Blue.” It was the only thing Charlie could manage to get out, so I just hugged him tighter and let him have a little cry. They were good tears, because we’d arrived safe and sound, and because we weren’t going anywhere. As happy as Charlie was with his boyfriend and his new life, he’d missed us.
We’d missed him just as much.
Hugs had to go all around. A thumping one from Teague, tight and mighty from Nic, softer from Dana. Even nose bumps from the dogs. I was glad to see Charlie introducing Caitlyn around, though Nic had met her before, and that the kids were babbling and excited. Pink cheeked and happy. And wearing hats.
I nabbed Marlie as she slid a little on the edge of the driveway. “Where’d you get this?”
“Oak made it for me! He made us all one.”
In all the excitement, I’d somehow missed Teague’s nephew. He was standing a little apart from the group and his mouth was smiling, but his eyes…they held something else. I studied him for a few seconds, trying to figure it out. But he caught me looking and his expression smoothed out.
“That was nice of him. Did you say thank you?”
Marlie nodded quickly and I set her down. She ran after her siblings, who, along with Caitlyn, were following everyone else into the house. I caught a snippet of conversation, something about showing it off before we unpacked the car and trailer. I sauntered closer to Oakley.
“Thank you for thinking of my kids. We don’t really need winter gear in Arizona, so we don’t have much yet.”
“I figured. I thought it would be a nice welcome home present. I, uh…” He blushed and pulled something out of his pocket, thrusting it in my direction. I took it and immediately recognized a hat, this one clearly meant for me as not only was it adult sized but a rich blue color in thick yarn. “If you want it.”
“This is great,” I said, keeping my voice low. I got the distinct impression that anything louder would spook him. I pulled it on. “It’s so warm. Thank you very much.”
“You’re welcome. I, um—” He shrugged, as though he wasn’t sure what to say.
He couldn’t quite look at me, his gaze fixed just over my shoulder. I wanted to say something to make it easier between us. We hadn’t talked a lot at Thanksgiving, but it hadn’t been awkward. Was it because of the gift? Or something else? Maybe whatever it was that I’d seen in his eyes a few moments ago. I wanted to ask, to help, but wasn’t sure it was my place.
“Daddy!”
Tristan’s voice was a whip crack in the otherwise quiet area. All the trees and snow did a pretty good job muffling the sounds of the world. Oak seemed to snap out of it, and he glanced at me before his gaze skittered away again.
“You should probably go see the house. We all worked hard to get it ready.”
“Thank you for that as well. I know it was a lot of work, and I appreciate that you were involved in getting it ready for my family.”
Oakley nodded, and a hint of a smile graced his lips. He met my gaze again, and the world seemed to go even more still. I didn’t dare breathe for fear he would run, and suddenly that was the last thing I wanted. Because he’d put so much time and effort into getting the Yellow House ready and I wanted to make sure he knew how much I appreciated it, that was all. Of course that had to be the reason.
“ Daddy !” Tristan’s voice was even more insistent. “You have to come see. There’s a tree!”
I took a step back. “We’d better get in there.”
Oak shook his head. “I’ve, uh.” He cleared his throat. “I have to get back to work. I’m covering the desk so Charlie can help you get settled.”
And then before I could say anything, he turned and jogged down the drive and back toward the Inn. I watched him go and almost missed Cricket as she joined him since she blended in with the snow. A few seconds later, he disappeared around the curve and I had no choice but to head into the house.
“You got a hat too!” Tristan jumped off the porch when I was at the bottom step, and I caught him easily.
“Yep. Oak must have been busy making us all hats.”
Tris gave a content sounding sigh. “I like Oak.”
“Yeah, me too.” I glanced over my shoulder but there was nothing but trees and snow. “Show me this tree.”
Tris was all too happy to oblige.