14. Chapter 13
Chapter 13
Law
I wanted to kiss him. Just take his face in my hands and show him exactly what good kissing was all about. I shouldn’t. I couldn’t . But that didn’t stop me from wanting it.
I could logic my feelings toward Oak Mulligan away. He was a sweetheart who had thought of this lovely thing and included my children. He was kind and gentle and a little bit broken. I was hardwired to care for and protect. So really, all of that coalesced into wanting to take care of Oak.
But that didn’t mean I wasn’t also attracted to him. And all of those things that made up who he was were the reasons I wanted him. It didn’t have to be mutually exclusive. It wasn’t that I was feeling brotherly toward him. I was feeling partnerly toward him. And it hit me like a ton of bricks, as I watched him skate, laughing and smiling, beautiful and graceful out on the ice.
I knew it was a bad idea. That expression “don’t shit where you eat” ran through my head. We worked together. He was my brother’s boyfriend’s nephew. Mary and Sean’s grandson. On top of that, he was not only far too young for me but he had a lot of baggage. There was trauma he needed to work through. And yet, it didn’t stop the feelings taking root and growing.
I was so fucked. And not in a good way.
I would have to ignore it. Just push it away and pretend it didn’t exist. Because this kid didn’t need an old man perving on him. Not that I was old. Or perving. But in that moment, it was what it felt like. And if I was being completely honest, I had enough of my own baggage too. He didn’t need mine added to his. And that was yet another reason this couldn’t work.
“Dad?”
Marlie’s voice shocked me out of my thought spiral and I took a quick second to firmly plant my brain in the present before I smiled down at her. “What’s up?”
“I wanna try.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
I immediately crouched down. “You sure? It’s okay if you don’t. Or if you want to wait until next time. But if you’re ready, then let’s do it.”
She squinted at me. “Not you. You don’t know how.”
I gasped, affronted, but Marlie just giggled. I squished her to me for a second, laughing along with her. “Yeah, not me. You need someone who’s good at it. Who do you want?”
Marlie tapped her chin for a moment, watching the skaters. Teague and Oak were racing the length of the pond again, tearing toward us, Harper had let go of Charlie’s arm and was gliding slowly beside him, and Tristan took yet another fall, laughing hysterically while he did it.
“Maybe Uncle Teague?”
I could understand why. Teague was big and strong, and to a little girl like Marlie, he seemed capable of taking on the world. She knew Teague wouldn’t let her get hurt.
“Good choice.” I straightened. “Hey, Teague!”
Teague immediately veered in our direction, stopping in a spray of snow that he thankfully aimed in the opposite direction. Marlie laughed, delighted with the performance. Teague made a show of bowing. “How can I be of service?”
I nudged my daughter, but she was too nervous to ask. We were working on that, but now wasn’t the time to push her. “Marlie’s ready to give it a try, if you’d be willing to help her.”
“Aces. You know I got your back, Marlie girl. Let’s get the skates and helmet on, and I’ll show you how it’s done.”
It took us a few minutes to get her outfitted, and then Teague took her hands and led her onto the ice. I watched with an eagle eye, ready to rescue my daughter if she needed it. But I should have known she wouldn’t. Marlie needed time to warm up to ideas, and the skating had been a surprise. But as she watched everyone else have fun, she got comfortable with it. Now with Teague keeping her upright, showing her how to skate and making sure she didn’t so much as wobble, she was fine.
Tristan was really getting the hang of it but I wasn’t surprised. He had a natural aptitude for sports, but even more than that, the quicker he learned, the sooner he could go fast. And my boy loved moving as fast as he could. Charlie had stepped off the pond on the opposite side from me, his gaze glued to Harper as she made a slow circuit. She was gaining confidence and speed with every glide.
Now that Teague was occupied, Oak made his way back over to me. He was flushed from the exertion and the cold and grinning like he’d never been happier. He was utterly breathtaking. I was overwhelmed again with the urge to kiss him, and I had to shove my hands in my pockets to keep from reaching out.
“Cold?”
It took a second for me to realize what he was asking, and since it was a better excuse than the real reason, I nodded. “It’s a bit brisk. Perhaps if I had a scarf…”
Oak laughed, and his blush got darker. “It’s almost done. I promise.”
I did reach out then, to comfort, gripping his elbow. “I’m teasing. There’s no rush. Really.”
It wasn’t my imagination that he leaned closer. Or that I did the same. I wanted to be in his space, to breathe the same air as he did. Our gazes locked. When his lips parted, I couldn’t help but notice how wet and full they were. I slid my hand up his arm, and had nearly made it to his neck when—
“Dad! Look!”
We jumped apart, and Oak wobbled on his skates. I barely spared him a glance, just to make sure he didn’t fall, before giving all my attention to Marlie. She was skating, still shaky, but only holding one of Teague’s hands.
“Good job, baby girl!” I called and she beamed, so proud of herself.
When I looked back to Oak, he was gone. I found him over by Tristan, trying to show my son how to skate on one foot. I smiled, making a mental note to give all the kids some children’s ibuprofen before I sent them to bed. They were definitely going to be sore.
It was good that moment had been broken. A reminder of exactly why I couldn’t have Oak.
Tristan and Harper were chatty when I picked them up from school, regaling me with tales from the day, taking turns and speaking over one another. Marlie was suspiciously silent and because of the snow that had fallen during the day, I couldn’t give her as much attention as I wanted to. I needed to pay attention to the road.
As soon as I pulled into a parking spot at the Black Dog Inn, Harper and Tristan jumped out of the SUV, beelining straight for the lobby doors. I knew they’d only give Charlie a brief greeting before running into the dining room. Dana was spoiling my children with after school snacks.
Marlie was quick to follow her siblings, so I did my best to catch up. I made it to the dining room just as the kids were dropping backpacks and coats off at “their” table. It was near the kitchen door and they’d claimed it as theirs. Between Charlie in the office and Dana cooking in the kitchen, they were taken care of while I continued to work.
Harper and Tris were already pushing through the swinging door, calling out a greeting and asking what was for snack. I caught Marlie’s arm before she could join them.
“You okay?” I asked, keeping my voice low. She shrugged which was enough of an answer. She was not okay. I pulled a chair out and guided her to it, then sat next to her. “What’s going on?”
It took her a minute, but then her little chin trembled. “Brynly says only Uncle Charlie is real.”
Whoever this Brynly was, I’d heard a lot about her over the past two weeks, and to be honest, I didn’t like much of it. She sounded like an entitled brat, but I’d tried to keep my opinion to myself. Marlie’s class was particularly small. Even Tristan’s class had twice as many students. Marlie wasn’t finding it easy to make friends and I didn’t want to make it harder. So I took a breath and offered her a smile.
“What does that mean?”
She shrugged again. I leaned forward, bracing my elbows on my knees and looked straight in her eye. A few seconds later, she let out a tiny sigh.
“She said only Uncle Charlie is really my uncle. And that Uncle Teague isn’t. And that Aunt Regan and Aunt Nic aren’t.” She sucked in a wet sounding breath. “And that Grams and Gramps aren’t really my grandparents and that I can’t call them that and that I’m stupid if I think so.”
I had to breathe, just breathe, to keep the words that wanted to escape in. What a fucking brat . How dare she speak to my child that way? It was just downright rude. More than that, it was wrong. And I could say all those things to Marlie, and I would have to figure out a way to have a conversation with her about it, but at the moment, it was more important to get her calmed down and to let her know she was far from stupid.
“Brynly is…misinformed.” I had to take another breath and when I looked, Marlie was staring at me with hope in her eyes. “It’s not Brynlyn’s fault. Her parents aren’t teaching her that every family looks different.”
Marlie nodded. “Her mom stays home and Brylyn said that’s what real moms do.”
Jesus fucking Christ, I wanted to throttle that girl and her parents as well. But I needed to focus on the present. “Some moms do stay home. Some dads do it instead. In some families, both parents work. And some families just have one parent. Or a parent and a grandparent. And some families are like ours, where there’s lots of people who love each other and work together to make a safe and happy place.”
“I know, Dad.” Her voice was soft, but it sounded like she meant it.
“Look, aunt and uncle and grams and gramps…they’re just titles, right? Traditionally, they mean someone who is related to you by blood. Like Charlie is my brother so he’s your uncle, right?” I waited for her to nod. “But you can also give those titles to other people who fill the same role, to show them that you honor and love them. Aunt Nic acts like your aunt—she does all the things aunts do—so you give her the title so that she knows how much you love her.”
Marlie nodded again, her face clearing from some of the upset. I slid my chair a little closer so I could wrap my arm around her. She let out a little sigh as she leaned into me. I debated about what to say next, how to say it, but I prided myself on always being honest with my kids.
“My mom is your grandma, right? But she’s not very nice, and she doesn’t treat us well. So we don’t call her Grandma anymore. Instead, we have Grams, who loves us and takes care of us and treats us well. So we call her Grams.”
Marlie was quiet for a few seconds before she said, “I love Grams.”
“I do, too.” I kissed the top of her head. “Brynly can think whatever she wants, but you know the truth. You, and Harper and Tris, have a whole bunch of aunts and uncles, and Grams and Gramps, who love you and want you to be happy.”
“Family is made up of the people who love and support you, not just the people you’re related to.”
Marlie and I both jerked our gaze to Oak, who had come upon us without either of us knowing. Oak’s eyes went wide, and he clapped a hand over his mouth as he turned beet red. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to butt in—”
“No. It’s fine. Because you’re right.” I was quick to reassure him.
Oak seemed frozen for a few seconds, but then he took a couple of steps closer. He was staring at me, but when I nodded encouragingly, he smiled slightly and dropped his gaze to Marlie. “Love is the most important thing about family. And everyone in my family loves everyone in your family. And that makes us one big family. No matter what bratty little kids say.”
My jaw dropped open, but Marlie giggled, clearly feeling more like herself. She sat up, pushing away from me. “Brynly is a brat. She thinks she’s so special, but she’s just mean.”
Oak nodded sagely. “So don’t worry about what Bratly says to you.”
Marlie lost it then, bright peals of laughter echoing through the dining room. Internally, I thought that was a very fitting nickname. Externally, I had to be the better parent. “Marlie, don’t call Brynly that. Even if she is.” Okay, so maybe I was only a good parent.
“I won’t.” She hopped off the chair. “I’m not mean like her.”
The case was closed, apparently, because she headed into the kitchen to get her snack. I stared after her for a second before I turned to Oak. He was smirking at his own humor, but when he caught sight of me, he blanched.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
Making sure my kids were occupied and looked after, I took hold of Oak’s arm. “I need to talk to you.”
Oak kept pace with me as I led him to the back corner of the room, well out of earshot of little ears that heard things I didn’t want them to. Oak’s eyes were wide, like he was a little scared, which I didn’t want him to be. Once we made it to the corner, I pulled him into my arms. He remained stiff in my hold for just a moment, and then he sank in, clutching me back.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I titled my head down so I could speak directly into his ear. “There’s no need for sorry. I wanted to thank you. What you said was absolutely right. Love is the most important thing in a family.”
Oak nodded, and my lips were so close to his ear they brushed against his skin. He shivered, and my entire body reacted. Having him this close, smelling his fresh linen and lemon scent—which was probably from his work—and the way he held on tight, was enough to do me in.
I pulled back just enough so I could see his face. Make sure I had all his attention. “You are loved here. You are surrounded by family, both blood and not. We are so glad you’re safe and happy here. You know that right?”
We were so close, barely a breath separating us. I’d wanted to make sure he understood that I got where his head was at. But the air charged between us, changing things in an instant. Oak’s pupils dilated, and his lips parted.
“Law.” My name was hardly more than a breath.
In that moment, I lost my mind. It was the only explanation for what I did next. But I wanted him to know how very glad I was that he was here. And his mouth was right there, plump and perfect. And he was staring at me with wide, beautiful eyes. My mind took a vacation.
Which is why I kissed him.