Chapter 6 Ainsley
AINSLEY
Icould die. I could just die right here in this bathroom stall.
“Stupid, stupid,” I whisper, covering my face with my shaking hands.
The stinging pressure behind my eyes threatens a flood of tears that I have to frantically blink back.
That’s just what I need, a face full of runny, smeared makeup.
That would be a real cherry on top, wouldn’t it?
It’s not bad enough everybody here seems to have a thing for hurting me.
Like I need Paul calling me a clown for the rest of my life.
He’d probably settle for that, too. It’s unimaginative enough for him.
I might not burst into tears, but inside, I’m in shreds. What was I thinking? Who in their right mind runs away when a man’s hands are all over her—and she wants them to be? That’s the thing, what I can’t wrap my head around. Why did I freak out? Like I’m ever going to have that opportunity again.
After all, I’m already a quarter of a century old, and that was the first really hot kiss I’ve ever had.
So mind blowingly hot. Five chilly peppers. Insert red faced-tongue-sticking-out emoji. Hot enough that I’m surprised my underwear didn’t melt right off. My heart’s still racing, my body’s on fire, my nipples are hard, and I’m so wet it’s almost kind of alarming.
He couldn’t mean it. That’s why I had to run. My whole life, everybody’s given me crap about me being me. I’ve never been good enough, smart enough, pretty or cool, or any of that. And all of a sudden, a man like Talon actually wants me? After only knowing me for a few hours?
Closing my eyes, I lean against the wall.
The tile is cool, welcome relief against my overheated cheek.
I wish it could cool off the rest of me since my lady bits are staging an uprising.
They want more of what was going on before I ran away like a scared rabbit.
All these years, they’ve been waiting for something like this, and I had to go and fumble the ball while I was practically in the end zone.
I almost feel like I should apologize to them.
I should definitely apologize to Talon. He’s been nothing but sweet all day, above and beyond. I can’t believe he’s this dedicated to keeping me happy.
Wait a second.
I push away from the wall, and now my heart is racing for a different reason.
What if this is all an act to keep me happy?
Would he go that far for a good review online?
Maybe a little word-of-mouth business thrown his way?
I don’t want to believe he’d be that mercenary, but I don’t know him. He could be capable of anything.
When I look at it that way, it’s probably for the best that I stopped everything and ran off. We both have time to cool off and get our heads together.
And he definitely needed to cool off. I might be a virgin who’s hardly ever been kissed, but I know how to tell when a man is aroused.
Some people like to think of librarians as being meek and clueless, but I’ve read my share of books.
I know all the signs, and something hard was definitely poking at me.
At me. He was hard for me. So it can’t all be an act, can it? I don’t even know what I’m thinking. I don’t know what I want to be true.
Flipping down the lid on the toilet, I gather up my skirts and take a seat.
Could I get away with leaving early, just putting this whole thing to rest?
All that’s really left is the cake cutting—otherwise, it’s just a matter of partying from here on out.
I’m not exactly somebody who likes to party, so I doubt anybody would think twice about me going home early.
Maybe I’ll wait until I can snag a piece of cake and take it home with me.
I could cry over the crumbs and beat myself up for passing up on what could’ve been the opportunity to finally lose my virginity to a guy who seems decent.
And he knows how to kiss—the memory of it makes me feel all fluttery and a little dizzy, like I was in his arms. Like the world was spinning faster and faster and all I could do was hold on to him to keep from flying off into space.
I touch a finger to my lips and close my eyes at the memory of how it seemed like he was trying to devour me.
The sudden opening of the door shakes me out of my memories. A blast of loud music follows, along with the laughter of a couple of girls practically shouting at each other. Drunk or getting there. I roll my eyes and settle in to wait them out.
“He’s fucking hot. Like in a dark kind of way, you know?” The girl asking the question stumbles into the stall next to mine and must lose her balance since the wall between us shakes, and she mutters a curse. I have to cover my mouth to stifle my laughter.
The girl at the sink snorts. “You better hurry up and piss if you want a chance with him. Otherwise, he’s been practically glued to her side all night.”
Oh. Something tells me I know who they’re talking about.
“Where do you think she found him?” Both girls burst out laughing, and the sound of it makes me shrivel a little inside. I’ve been hearing laughter like that all my life.
“Maybe it’s one of those charity wish things,” the other girl suggests from the sink. I lean forward, peering through the crack in the door. She was one of the tall, willowy girls going for the bouquet, and now she’s touching up her makeup.
“Stop!”
“Well? What else could it be? What the hell is he doing with her?”
“Maybe his eyesight’s bad.”
She pouts her lips like she wants to kiss her reflection. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did. “But he caught the garter, didn’t he?”
“And he almost broke Craig’s nose. Craig is pissed.”
“Craig’s a dick, anyway. And if he broke his nose, maybe it would be an improvement.” She straightens up and fluffs her hair. “Anyway, if you’re gonna make a move, you better make it fast. Otherwise, I’m gonna have to jump on that dick. Law of the jungle, girl.”
The toilet next to me flushes, and the girl in the stall bursts out. “No fucking way, I saw him first. Don’t be a slut.”
“Who knows? Maybe he would take us both on at the same time. Did you see that tattoo on his hand? Under that suit, he’s bad. And you just know a guy that tall has a huge cock.”
Yes, it is huge, at least, from what I felt of it.
And there I was, passing up the opportunity to do something with it, all so these nasty skanks could have a chance with him.
I almost want to throw the door open and tell them I turned him down.
Me! The one they’re laughing about, the one they think is a charity case.
He wanted me, not them. He spent the whole night making me feel good about myself. Making me feel beautiful.
But you’re paying him. Try to remember that.
There go the tears, welling up in my eyes this time. I can’t let them do this to me. They don’t even know me, and from the way it sounds, I wouldn’t want to be friends with either of them. It’s not like I’ve never heard anything like what they were saying about me before.
This is different. This is like a knife to the chest. And instead of making me want to run out of here and go home and hide under a blanket, I can easily imagine myself tearing out fistfuls of their hair. Who are they but a couple of, what did he call them? Valid bleach blondes.
I grit my teeth and nod because that’s right. That’s exactly it. He hit the nail on the head. He wasn’t talking about them exactly, but they fit the description.
They’re right about one thing—he isn’t here because he likes me. He’s here because I’m paying him.
But I wasn’t paying him to kiss me like that.
To stare into my eyes and stroke my cheeks with his thumbs as he kissed me so deeply, so completely, the whole world melted away.
I didn’t pay him to make me the center of attention by sliding that garter up my leg.
I didn’t pay him to stand up for me in front of my family.
No matter how many times I go over it in my head, it doesn’t make any sense.
Maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I’ve heard so many times and for so long that I’m worthless and weird that I can’t believe anybody would feel differently.
Especially somebody like him, who’s just as hot as those girls made him out to be.
They’re still talking about him, plotting as they hurry out of the ladies’ room.
What am I going to do?
What do I want to do?
That’s a good question. As I see it, sitting here on this stupid toilet lid with around a million yards of fabric gathered in my arms, I have two options.
I can either go for it and have a fun, naughty memory to look back on, or I can stay scared and play it small and sneak out of here, grab an Uber, and cry my eyes out to Klaus.
No offense to Klaus, but that’s not what I want to do.
For once, I’m going to make the most of an opportunity. Even if it scares the bejesus out of me.
One thing is for sure: I need to get a move on before either of those girls gets their hooks into him.
He seemed disdainful of most of the other women here, but that could have been something he said to make me feel better.
And now, I left him hanging and hard, and for all I know, he could take one of them up on it for that reason alone.
How many books have I read where the heroine needs to dig deep and surprise herself by being brave? It looks like it’s my turn to do that.
Stepping out of the stall, I take a good look at myself in the mirror.
I don’t look like a tomato in a dress anymore, so that’s a plus.
My skin is back to its normal color, though my cheeks are flushed with…
what? Anticipation? Dread? It’s a toss-up.
I throw my hair over my shoulder and roll my shoulders back.
He wants me. He wouldn’t have kissed me like that if he didn’t want me.
And I will be damned if I let some other girl get in my way.
Though I have to open the door and dart out of the room like it’s on fire for fear of losing my nerve.
The music is blasting loud enough to make me want to cover my ears, but I manage to ignore it in favor of scanning the ballroom for a sign of Talon. Where did he go? He’s not at our table, though I wouldn’t expect him to be. He’s not at the bar, either.
My heart sinks, and I feel sick. What if he left while I was in there? He probably got fed up. Maybe he figured no amount of money is worth getting turned down by a nerd like me.
“There you are.”
His voice is enough to pull something out of me that sounds like a sob as I spin on my heel to find him standing there like he was waiting for me. “I thought you ditched and left me with these assholes.”
“Were you out here all this time?”
“I took a couple of seconds in the men’s room, if you’re interested.”
“No, I mean… never mind.” He must have seen those girls, and they must have seen him. Did they approach him? If they did, he turned them down, or he wouldn’t be standing here. Waiting for me.
He crosses the space between us, overwhelming me with his nearness, his size, his… him. The aura around him now seems darker than before. Dangerous. He’s now the man I met at the store.
“There’s unfinished business between us.” His eyes dart over my face, narrowing. “I don’t like being run out on. And I’m not going to be denied what I want.”
“What does that mean?”
“We’re finding somewhere to be alone. Now.” His hand shoots out and takes hold, a steel cuff around my wrist, eliminating the possibility of escape.
Oh my god.