Chapter 21
Good women still exist, but our stomachs are not flat and we talk back.
— Pepper to Atlas
PEPPER
I was exhausted.
I hadn’t slept well last night because of a certain someone’s words.
I’d been, once again, dismissed by the man who had such a tight hold on my heart that I was being dumb and staying where I was needed—not wanted.
I’d gotten home hours ago, thinking for sure I would have to deal with Atlas upon arriving to his house, but he was nowhere to be found.
The house was just as silent as it’d been when I’d left this morning.
I watched a full movie and a half with Forest while we played with some toy cars before I realized that Atlas wouldn’t be making it home by dinner.
I’d found something for us both to eat, and then I’d gotten Forest ready for bed.
I hadn’t actually taken care of a child before fully on my own.
Sure , I’d had a couple of hours here and there with my niblings—nieces and nephews—but I hadn’t had one on one with the full expectation of it only being me with no end in sight.
I could’ve called Atlas , but again, I was trying to put distance between us by not calling or texting when I didn’t need to.
After I’d read Forest a story, we’d rocked in the rocking chair again like last night, and soon he was asleep.
It was an hour after I’d gotten him to bed when I found myself in my bedroom, once again wondering if this was the best idea.
Was it smart to be falling in love with a kid who belonged to a man who continuously let me know that I wasn’t important?
Was it smart to be insinuating myself into their lives when it would be smarter to let them figure it out on their own?
And there I was, looking for daycares that had abnormal hours for the working parents who didn’t have the usual nine-to-five.
“ What are you looking at?”
I gasped and twisted on the bed, finding myself staring at Atlas and Gable .
“ Uh ,” I resisted the urge to reach for the laptop and slam it shut.
Old habits died hard.
I hated when people— Sage most importantly—read over my shoulder and knew what I was doing.
“ Are those daycares?” Atlas asked, looking stunned.
I immediately started backpedaling. “ It’s not that I’m not willing to watch him whenever I’m off, but I have to keep my job with Maven . I gave her a promise when I started working, and I don’t break my promises. No matter what. It’s something that I had to do a lot growing up with Sage , and it gives me PTSD if I don’t follow through. And , just sayin’, but you’re going to be working throughout the days sometimes. Your family all have lives, too. I know that…”
Atlas came forward and caught my sock-covered toes. “ It’s okay. I understand why you’re looking. Thank you. Have you found anything?”
I sat up with my laptop and said, “ A few. Want to see?”
“ Come out to the kitchen, I brought tacos from Tacos Goyo . I figured you ate, but I brought some anyway, just in case,” he babbled.
Babbled .
It was… cute.
“ Sure ,” I said, closing my laptop and bringing it with me.
The two men worked in tandem at the counter to divide the food.
I watched them place not one, not two, not three, but six tacos on my plate, and started shaking my head.
“ Not that I don’t appreciate the food,” I said carefully. “ But there’s no way in hell I’m eating six tacos. Feel free to grab three back.”
“ Nice .” Gable took two, but Atlas left the other for me.
“ I’ll take the last one if you don’t finish,” he offered, carrying my plate and his to the table. “ How did he go to sleep?”
“ Like a dream,” I admitted. “ I hate to admit this, but it’s like he just expects to be put in there with the door closing on you as you leave. It’s likely he goes to sleep on his own without help. But I’ve rocked him to sleep both nights, and he’s been a little snuggle bug the entire time.”
“ I walked out this morning and he was wide awake, just sitting in his bed waiting for me to come in there,” he grumbled, looking upset. “ I have to wonder if it’s normal for Emory to just leave him in there for who knows how long while she sleeps. Or hell, just any time she doesn’t want to deal with him.”
“ Don’t overthink it,” Gable urged. “ Just think about how great he sleeps and leave it at that. Just make sure you let him know he can come wake you up if he gets up before you.”
“ I did that,” Atlas agreed. “ I just hope he actually remembers.”
“ What happens when you have to be at work early in the morning?” Gable asked. “ What’ll y’all do then?”
Atlas looked slightly green for a long moment before I said, “ I have a solution for that. I have to be at the bakery at five to get the baked goods cooking. Maven usually meets me around eight or nine. However , she’s been going on and on about opening later so we don’t have to be there as early. I can talk to her about that. If we opened at eight or nine, I could get there at seven or eight. Then I could take him to daycare… as long as it’s close.”
“ Or I could take him on my way into work in the morning,” Atlas said. “ What ones did you find?”
I pulled my laptop open and showed him my spreadsheet.
He pulled out his phone, as did Gable , and the three of us carefully marked a few of the daycares off the list.
“ This one allows drop off at four in the morning,” Gable said. “ And all have really excellent reviews.”
“ I like this one, too. Drop off is at five.” Atlas pointed at the third on the list.
“ I’m partial to this one,” I said as I showed him the one I’d secretly chosen. “ Drop off is at six. I could technically do drop off before I head into the bakery to start morning prep. Then they’ll bus him to the station after school lets out. It’s Montessori …”
We ate tacos— I only ate two and a half—and talked about the good and bad of each facility.
In the end, they both chose my pick.
When we were done, I started to clean up, while the men slowly talked about the day, relaying everything that’d been decided with Sage .
“ She’ll get no severance since she was fired,” Atlas finished. “ Tomorrow , we expect to hear from her lawyers because she screamed it at anyone that would listen as we locked her up in the cells.”
“ That must be why I got the phone call ordering me to bail her out again,” I said. “ I blocked the call.”
“ Good ,” Gable said as he headed to the front door. “ Stay the fuck away from her.”
“ Trust me,” I said as I followed behind him, Atlas at my side. “ I do everything I can to stay away from her. The woman is nuts.”
Gable looked at Atlas with a frown. “ Maybe that’s DPD’s issues. They keep hiring women.”
I gasped. “ You did not just say that!”
Gable cackled as he backed away from my ire.
“ It’s the crazy gene.” He giggled. “ It only shows up in females.”
I threw a pillow from the couch at his head, which he easily caught.
He tossed it back at me, twice as hard, a lecherous grin on his face.
“ You’re going to hell…o. Hello .” I quickly changed my words as I saw Forest standing in the living room staring at us.
Forest flashed me a cute grin.
A grin that looked a lot like the man who was now crouching down in front of him.
Forest was a smart kid.
Now that he wasn’t worried about getting yelled at by us, he was coming out of his shell.
And he was also learning new words.
I’d made it my new mission not to say anything bad around him, but it was hard when the kid was quiet and sneaky like his father.
Gable went to Forest , held out his hand for a high five—which he received—and headed out the door.
I set the alarm and watched out of the corner of my eye as Atlas picked Forest up and disappeared into his bedroom.
I went to my own bedroom, took a shower, and was getting dressed in a large t-shirt—one I’d pilfered from the laundry room the day before—when there was a soft knock at the door.
I walked to it, very aware I was in the man’s t-shirt, and opened it.
He leaned on the door with one shoulder, crossing his feet at the ankle, and regarded me for a few long moments.
So long that I started to squirm and, to cover my discomfort, I turned to look out the window.
“ I misspoke yesterday,” he said after long moments.
I looked up from my contemplation of the large backyard that the brothers shared to the man who’d come in while I wasn’t paying attention.
“ Huh ?” I asked, sitting up straighter.
“ I misspoke yesterday,” he repeated.
“ You misspoke about what?” I asked carefully.
He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing, and said, “ A year ago, I hated that I wanted you so much.”
I gritted my teeth.
“ And when I finally broke, when I had you for the first time, I realized that maybe I was a dumbass,” he continued.
A laugh burst free from my lips.
His grin was soft as he said, “ I don’t know what I’m doing.”
I took a seat on the bed, my toes curling in the carpet.
“ I’m not trying to make things difficult,” I admitted.
He ran one hand through his hair.
“ That’s the problem,” he admitted. “ You don’t need me. You want me.”
“ I don’t want you,” I lied.
His look showed me he didn’t believe me at all.
“ I have no clue what I’m doing,” he admitted. “ Every woman I’ve dated has been bad. I’ve had seven long-term girlfriends since high school, and every last one of them turned out to be nothing like I thought they were. I’m hesitant to believe what’s right in front of my eyes now.”
I bit my lip. “ And what, exactly, is it that is right in front of your eyes?”
He straightened up. “ My future. The woman I can see myself spending the rest of my life with.”
My breath caught.
“ We need to take this slow. Not because I want to, but because I have a little boy to think about now,” he said. “ And , sadly, I know that Sage and Emory aren’t done with us. I know this is about to be a shit storm of epic proportions, and I want you and me to be solid. We can’t let the two of them get in between us. I want this to work. I want this to be so fuckin’ solid that no matter what they throw at us, they can’t hurt what we have.”
I wilted at his words. “ That …”
He moved farther into the room, his eyes on me.
He dropped down to his haunches in front of me before he said, “ And I don’t want you thinking that the only reason I want you here with me is because I need a babysitter. I have about twenty of them if I really needed it. That’s why I’m gonna give that Montessori school a call in the morning and get him enrolled. That way, I can take him and drop him off. Then all you have to do is pick him up if one of the family isn’t already on the way home and can get him.”
Emotion welled in my throat. “ Are you sure?”
He tilted my head up so my eyes could meet his.
What I saw there sent shivers down my spine.
“ I’ll take it slow,” he admitted. “ That way we don’t get ahead of ourselves.”
“ What’s that mean?” I asked. “ No , uh…”
“ Sex ?” he chuckled. “ Yes , that means no sex… for now.”
“ Until when?” I wondered.
“ Until it’s time.” He stood. “ Goodnight , Pepper .”
“ Until when?” I repeated.
“ You’ll know when.”
He closed the door softly behind him, and I spent the night wondering when I would know when it was time.
Which happened to be why I was awake three hours later when I heard the soft thump-thump that had my heart racing.
Grabbing my phone for light, I tiptoed out of the room and down the hall where I could hear the thumping.
When I shined my light into the open space of the living room and beyond that into the kitchen, I blinked at what I saw.
Atlas , in only underwear, was opening and closing the fridge.
Open . Thump . Close . Thump .
Over and over and over again.
Was this what he did when he sleepwalked?
I walked over to him and hurriedly flipped through the knowledge that I had of sleepwalkers which was a whole, whopping zero.
I think I’d seen in a movie once that you weren’t supposed to wake them up?
It was freaky seeing him in front of me, but not aware of his surroundings.
I gently caught his arm and steered him away from the fridge.
He went surprisingly easily, following behind me like a lost puppy just wanting to go home.
I led him into his room, straight to his bed, and gently pushed him over so that he’d get into the bed.
He did, falling face first into it. He dropped like a log and didn’t move.
I backed slowly away, though every single one of my instincts yelled at me to crawl into that bed beside him.
“ Ugh ,” I grumbled as I backed out of the room and gently closed the door. “ Just , ugh.”
I’d just taken a step in the direction of my room, my phone still firmly in hand, when another thump-thump came from the living room.
I hastily shined my light into the corner of the living room and started shaking my head at what I saw.
There was little Forest , walking face first, into a wall.
What were the odds?
I guess with Atlas Carter and Forest Carter ? The odds were high.
With Forest , I was able to pick him up and walk with him back to his room.
I didn’t fight the urge to stay in bed with him, however.
I curled up under the soft dinosaur blanket and held him for the rest of the night.