Chapter 29 I Like Danger
I LIKE DANGER
KATIE
Justin had agreed to the lunch date. I was looking forward to it, but Dylan was hard to read when I came back to our table after the call.
I wanted to tell him the news, but I didn’t think he’d be too happy.
We didn’t talk much on the drive back to Amanda’s apartment, and I shut myself in my room, staring at the three shopping bags.
What am I doing? Letting Dylan spend so much money on me…
Shaking my head, I went for a quick run. Amanda and Tina would be back soon, so it was a perfect opportunity to clear my head before they did.
Because I still felt guilty for doing unspeakable things with her younger brother.
The sun had already begun setting, painting the sky in hues of orange and soft purple when I stepped out in a sports tank top and shorts. The air was crisp but not cold, brushing against my skin as my sneakers hit the pavement with a steady rhythm.
Unfortunately, my mind wasn’t following the same steady pattern. It kept racing. From Dylan, to the lingerie store, to the way his eyes burned on my skin and the filthy things he had said.
I couldn’t shake it.
I didn’t know how long I had been running when the top started clinging to my sweaty skin. My hair was in a ponytail, with a few strands sticking to my neck and framing my face.
As I kept running, I thought about how I would face Amanda and tell her about Dylan. I couldn’t lie to her for long, and even if I did, she knew me too well and would figure out what a terrible liar I am.
I ran to a nearby park, and it was practically empty, the last streaks of sunlight fading behind the distant trees. I was lost in my thoughts, keeping my breath steady. The only sound was the rhythmic pounding of my steps.
Until… I heard another footstep running behind me
“Katie!”
I shrieked, my body jolting to a halt when Dylan jogged up behind me. He was dressed in a black tank top and shorts. He was even wearing a cap.
Just seeing him made my heart thump in my ears, my face flushing red.
Dylan laughed, the sound low and hearty. His eyes were bright as he held out a bottle of water toward me. “Thought you might need this.”
I blinked, still caught off guard by his sudden appearance, but took the bottle. “You scared me,” I said, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably.
“Oh, come on,” he said, his grin widening as perspiration lined his forehead. “Running alone in LA at this hour? Not very smart of you, Katie.”
“Maybe I like danger.” I rolled my eyes and took a sip, the cool water soothing my dry throat.
Truthfully, I was glad he was with me. I hadn’t realized that it had gotten so dark and I’d have to take a taxi back.
Dylan snorted, falling into step beside me. “Then you’re my kind of girl.”
I smiled, the tension in my chest easing just a bit as we continued walking toward a nearby park bench. The world around us seemed to slow, the hum of distant cars and chirping crickets making the moment feel intimate.
We sat down, the bench creaking under our combined weight.
“I didn’t know you were running behind me for so long,” I said, eyeing him as he removed his cap and ran a hand through his hair.
I swallowed, ignoring the heat spreading in my stomach. Jesus, calm down. He just removed his cap, not his shirt.
“I saw you leave in those tight shorts and I had to run after you,” he said with a cheeky grin. “Make sure you are safe.”
I scoffed, “Yeah, right.”
We stayed quiet, enjoying the silence as a gust of wind breezed through us. After a few moments, I asked him, “So, when did you start running?”
Dylan stretched his legs out, leaning back casually.
“I was into sports and very active since my teenage years. Football, swimming, and lifting weights. Running’s a great form of cardio.
Not the best though.” His green eyes met mine as he winked at me.
They looked so bright and colorful. “I can’t sit still, and it helps me focus. ”
I nodded. “Makes sense.” Amanda always bragged about how many medals and competitions he had won.
He tilted his head. “What about you?”
I sighed, fingers tracing idle patterns on my thigh.
“My childhood home… wasn’t the best place to grow up,” I admitted, my voice soft.
My chest felt tight, as hesitated before continuing, “Fights were normal. Doors slamming and screaming matches. It was almost like living in a war zone every single day. I’d go for a run before school and sometimes late at night.
Whenever I needed to escape my head or my parents. It helped me think.”
Dylan listened, his gaze never leaving me. How does he know that there was more?
His hand closed around me, and the warmth of it made me continue.
My voice cracked. “There was this one time. I didn’t know how the fight started, but my mom told me I was too weird, too broken… too robotic for anyone to love. That I didn’t even know what that word meant because I was selfish… selfish for packing my lunch for school and not making her anything.”
I remembered that day as if it had happened yesterday. Her eyes wild and hair a mess. She had another fight with Dad the night before, got drunk and mad at me because of her hangover. I had already made pasta for her, but she didn’t see that.
She was only looking for someone to get angry with for the wrong choices she had made in her life. Like staying with dad until he died.
Dylan squeezed my hand, and I cleared my throat, hoping the lump in my throat would go away. I looked down at our hands and said, “She belittled me, called me childish, stupid. I didn’t know I was autistic back then. I just thought I was… less than.”
My vision blurred as the tears fell. Warm and heavy, sliding down my burning cheeks. Embarrassment took hold, and I looked away, wiping the tears. I hated crying. It made me feel small and exposed, as if I was showing the worst part of myself.
But Dylan’s hold on my hand was strong and steady. He didn’t say anything, and I was grateful for his silence.
After a long pause, I forced a shaky smile, trying to pull myself together. “It’s fine. Really.” I tried to sound normal, but my voice was hoarse.
Dylan frowned, his eyes stern as he said, “Don’t use a fake smile with me, Katie.”
I froze, my smile faltering. I looked up, meeting his gaze. He didn’t pity me.
“I’m not trying to,” I whispered, my voice sincere. “I just don’t want you to worry.”
He shook his head, squeezing my hand just a bit more. He leaned close and wiped my cheeks. “You’re not. You don’t have to hide yourself from me. And don’t ever use that fake smile or else…”
My chest tightened in a way that didn’t feel suffocating, but freeing. The vulnerability I had tried so hard to hide seemed lighter under his gaze.
“Or else what?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood. “You’ll spank me?”
He smiled, tapping my nose. “Might as well.”
For a few moments longer, we sat in silence, holding hands. The sky turned darker, the first stars beginning to peek through.
Maybe for the first time in a long while, I didn’t have to hide from my past… or from Dylan.
Because he was with me and saw me for who I was.
* * *
We took a cab back to Amanda’s apartment and I was greeted by a huge grin from a petite girl with cute button nose and gold dangling earrings.
“Hi! I’m Tina!”
“Hi Tina,” Dylan greeted her, pitching his voice high when he brushed past her, yelping dramatically when she pinched his arm. “Amanda, your girlfriend is abusing me.”
“As she should,” Amanda replied from the kitchen.
Tina rolled her eyes and smiled up at me. “You must be Katie. Amanda has told me a lot about you. And Pollux.”
“Nice to meet you, Tina,” I said warmly, giving Amanda an approving look, making her cheeks flushed. “Pollux is adorable, isn’t he?”
“Definitely!” She pulled out her phone and showed me a few pictures of goldfish. “I have two of my own!”
My eyes widened as we excitedly talked about our pets, their diet and unique features. Dinner was chicken roll with pasta salad. Even though I had a lovely time, I couldn’t stop feeling his gaze on me and it made my heart beat a little faster.
I felt guilty for hiding it from Amanda who had opened up to me about her feelings.
At night, I was alone in bed and staring up at the ceiling. What the hell am I doing? Leading Dylan on even though I’m going on a lunch date with Justin? Even though he told me he didn’t care, I felt responsible for his feelings.
Despite his playful persona, he was sweet and kind. What if I hurt him if I keep acting distant and aloof? I would hate myself if I…
I shook my head. Let’s just go on the date. See how it goes. If it felt right, I would talk to Dylan about ending things.
And if it didn’t feel right?
Then I would like to explore whatever small emotions that are bubbling inside me. Because in the darkness of the room, I missed his warmth and soothing deep voice that lulled me to sleep.