24. I love New York. And yellow cabs. And you.
24
I LOVE NEW YORK. AND YELLOW CABS. AND YOU.
T he image is so impactful, it does something to my soul. Such a welcome surprise. Such horrible timing. Still, how funny is it he’s here? Though I shouldn’t be surprised—it is the company he works for, after all.
When he sees me standing there, his laugh catches in his throat and he chokes, eyes widened in shock. “What are you doing here?” he sputters.
I take a physical step back, shocked by his reception. “I—I told you. I had a work thing.”
He sets his drink down at the bar and mutters some goodbyes to his… colleagues? Bosses? I’d say friends, but they all look to be at least twenty years older than he.
“This was your work thing?”
“Obviously.”
“But it’s a Stevenson thing. You didn’t think to tell me? Since I work for the company after all?” His voice is light, but something in his eyes has me unsettled. What the hell is going on?
“I wasn’t aware I needed to ask your permission to do my job, Will. Plus, you had originally said you had nothing to do so I didn’t think you were going.”
He rubs a hand down his face and sighs. “Sorry. I realize how dumb I sound right now. Like I’m questioning you or something. I’m just surprised, is all. I didn’t expect to see you here. This isn’t something lower-level employees from the company or our vendor’s companies usually attend.”
“Well, it must be different because you’re here tonight, too, right? And I’m just here as Lena’s date.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
Something about his less-than-warm reception gnaws at me. Contrary to his reaction, I would’ve been happy to have him here. It would’ve meant bonding over how much we hate work events. We could’ve talked endless amounts of shit about our bosses and coworkers together. Without ever spilling too many corporate secrets to each other, that is.
I roll my eyes and wave down the bartender, who looks me over appreciatively before grinning and leaning over to meet my eye.
“What can I get for you, darlin’?” His southern accent is thick, his blue eyes shining bright. If I weren’t head over heels for the irritating guy standing next to me, I swear I’d be giggling just from his smile alone.
Will’s body tenses at my side, but I ignore him, choosing instead to order a glass of champagne. By the time the bartender brings me a full flute, he still hasn’t apologized. I thank the bartender and begin to walk away, only to have Will stop me by gripping the upper part of my arm.
He drags me to the side of the ballroom behind a column, hidden away from the rest of the guests. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me. You caught me off-guard, is all.”
I refuse to meet his eye, keeping mine instead on the marble wall across from us. He moves to stand in my eye-line, forcing me to finally look at him.
“Seriously, I’m sorry. I get nervous at these work things because my boss is here, and he’s the worst and utterly unpredictable, and you look amazing, and I was blindsided. I’m here solely for work and I swear the first thing I thought of when I saw you was how fucking gorgeous you look and how much I want to take you home. I never would’ve thought that the worst thing that could happen tonight was to have you here as a distraction, but there it is.”
I raise a brow. “Really? The absolute worst thing, William?”
The corners of his lips quirk up a bit. “Barring an alien invasion or a humanity-ending meteor? Yeah, kinda.”
“You’re such a drama queen,” I say before taking another sip of champagne.
I roll my eyes, but when he moves to stand closer and his scent envelops me, I find myself losing the little amount of strength I’d built up. I stumble a little in my heels, but he catches me with an arm around my waist, my back to his chest.
“You do, you know,” he whispers in my ear, his body pressed up against mine.
“I do what?” I struggle to answer.
“Look incredibly beautiful. You always seem to top yourself, and I have no fucking idea how you’re able to do that.”
I scoff, but my cheeks blush, and betray my fake nonchalance.
He smiles and glides his nose up and down my neck, inhaling deeply as he does. “You’re wearing that perfume of yours,” he murmurs. “You almost always wear it, and I miss it so much when you aren’t around. When I think about it…” He inhales again against my cheek. “When I think about it and you aren’t there, it’s like my lungs seize up, paralyzed from missing it.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, thankful he can’t see me—and no one else can for that matter. Because it’s one thing to have sex with your best friend, but is this part of it, too? The way he speaks to me, the things he says, and the way they make me feel? Is this normal friends-with-benefits behavior?
I have no frame of reference for what we’re doing, which sometimes makes this whole thing seem impossible. But then I turn in his arms and stare up into his dark eyes and feel that superhuman tug on my heart. And I know. I know I could never leave him. I know that, no matter how much this hurts me, I would never be able to stop this. It will have to be him. Because with everything happening, Will’s my silver lining. And if I don’t have him…
My free hand rises to his chest, my eyes following the way my manicured fingers travel over it. “You look good in a tux.”
I don’t see his wicked smile, but I feel it. That’s how attuned to each other we are.
“Thanks. You should see me out of it.”
This makes me snort. So I surrender and look up, a little thrilled by the way he looks down at me, the way he has me a bit cornered against this column. “Your jokes are unoriginal.”
Will laughs softly in my ear. “You love them anyways.”
I love you.
I close my eyes and let myself inhale his perfect scent just once. Just enough to hold me until the next time we’re together. I let it fill my lungs and heart and brain; let it run through my veins, build beneath my skin like it’s the fuel that keeps me going. And in a way, it is.
Finally, I’m able to get myself together. And that’s a good thing because I’m at a work event and flirting with the man I’ve been sleeping with for the past few weeks. I’m supposed to be doing my job, but he’s driven me wild to the point of distraction. A clear head is my priority. Or it should be.
“I have to go back to work,” I tell him with an involuntary pout.
“Ah. This secret mission of yours. I’m not sure what you think you’re going to find here, but if you guys are thinking of stealing some jewels or something, you’ve got the wrong gala. Maybe try one in a museum?”
I laugh and slap him on the shoulder. “I can’t tell you what the mission is.”
Will leans against the marble column with one hand and brings the other to push some hair off my face. A chill runs down my spine, and it isn’t because the marble is cold. By the smug smirk that flashes across his face, he notices.
“Why’s that?”
“We talked about this, remember? We agreed to separate work from this friendship. Besides vague venting about bad days and bosses and asshole coworkers, no details. Neither one of us wants to compromise the deal between our companies. Even though it’s not like we have any decision-making level authority.”
“You told me about your VP stealing your idea. How is this any different?”
“It just is.”
“Are you sure you aren’t just making up some excuse because you somehow found out I was going to be here, and you really wanted to see me in a tux?”
I press my lips together to keep from smiling. “You don’t look that good.”
It’s a lie, of course—the first one I’ve told in a long time. Because he looks like heaven and hell combined.
“Well, how long do you have to be here for, anyways?” He checks his watch. “Because I’ve been here long enough that I can Irish exit the shit out of this event, and no one will care. We can go back to your place?”
Spending a Friday night with Will in any capacity is always tempting, but after seeing him in this suit, it’s nearly impossible to resist. Still, I’m here for work, and that’s important to me.
“I don’t think tonight will be possible. I have a really important job to do.” I try for my best #Girlboss voice, putting my hands on my hips like Wonder Woman.
He beams at me with the smile he uses when he’s being supportive and proud, when I’m pursuing my passion, and he’s there for me. “I think that’s good, then. We can see each other tomorrow. But I’m going to need you to wear that dress again just so I can see it come off you.”
I laugh and shake my head. “You’re incorrigible. And you’re—” My phone vibrating in my hands cuts me off.
Lena
Iris left and Jenna’s here. Abort. You can go home now. DO NOT LET JENNA SEE YOU. I’ve already left in an Uber.
“Shit.”
“What is it?”
“My mission has been aborted.”
He raises a brow. “I thought this whole thing was cute at first, but, like, you don’t actually think it’s like a secret mission, right? You’re not, like, raiding the New York Public Library, right?”
I roll my eyes and push him out of the way, checking my surroundings for Jenna.
“Wait, where are you going?” he asks, following me closely behind.
“Home.”
“Why are you whispering and crouching? Doesn’t that make you look more suspicious?”
I stop dead in my tracks and look at him because he’s absolutely right.
“Let me take you home the way I usually would if you weren’t acting like a total head case right now.”
I snort and let him lead me toward the exit with a hand on my lower back, exposed thanks to my backless dress.
When we find a cab, Will gives the driver my address and turns to look at me.
“I’m so happy to see you,” he tells me.
And something about the way his eyes shine in the darkness of the car gives me hope that it isn’t the possibility of sex that has him excited. That he’s actually glad we’re spending time together in any way.
“I was genuinely bummed today when I thought we weren’t going to get to hang out.”
I bite my lip to stifle a grin. “You’re just saying that because you wanted to get laid,” I whisper, hoping the driver can’t hear, but between the partition and his loud music, I’m confident he’s in his own world.
Will’s smile slips, brows pulled together. “You really think that’s the only reason I ever want to see you?”
The city lights zoom past us as we drive down Sixth Avenue, and I stare quietly down at my hands. “I… don’t know. Maybe.”
“Bridge, hey.” Will twists in his seat and reaches over to cup my face. “Look at me.” When I do, he shakes his head, eyes soft. “You know that’s not the only reason why I want to hang out with you, right? It’s not even the main one.”
“I—I don’t know. Sometimes?—”
“No. Never. Don’t ever think that. You are…” He exhales once, frustrated.
And I get it. I am frustrating. He shouldn’t have to deal with a needy friend with benefits. FWB are meant to be fun and relaxed. And I feel anything but that right now.
“I care about you, Bridget.” His eyes lock with mine, causing all the air from inside the cab to disappear. “I care about you and, while I thoroughly enjoy fucking you, I would give it up in a second if it meant not seeing you ever again. We’re friends, Bridge.”
Friends. Friends friends friends.
“Yeah.” I swallow. “That’s nice to hear. Sometimes I get a little freaked out, though. That I’m going to lose you.”
Will’s brows pull together. “Believe me, you’re the only one with the power to end things.”
I snort, but his face remains serious.
“I mean it. I’m not going anywhere. I’m in this.”
“Yeah. BFFs, right?” I shake my friendship bracelet (which I never take off) in front of his face and try for a laugh, but it comes out mangled.
Will makes a sound that’s halfway between a groan and a grunt before wrapping a hand around the nape of my neck. One second, we’re next to each other in the back of the cab; the next, I’m somehow sitting across his lap, our lips fused together, my fingers deep in his soft hair.
Will holds me steady with one hand, while another travels freely over my body. He starts off at my neck and bare shoulders. Trails a hand lightly over the side of my breast, his thumb reaching out to subtly touch me right over my erect nipple through the luxurious fabric. I suppress a moan when his fingers pinch me right there, because I love the way he turns me into putty in his hands, but I really don’t want the driver to kick us out.
It’s not the driver I should be worried about, though, because it’s Will who puts a stop to it all of a sudden.
He pulls away and holds my face in both of his. “Stop. This is—” He exhales and shakes his head. “This is the complete opposite of what I’m trying to prove. I don’t want to be a part of your life because of how amazing our sexual chemistry is or how hot you are,” he whispers.
“You think I’m hot?” I can’t help the dumb, goofy grin that spreads across my face.
Will rolls his eyes at me. “Bridge, you know I’m a goner for you. I mean, my fucking god, look at this slit.” One of his hands comes over my exposed thigh, his rough hands moving dangerously close to where I’m wet and waiting for him. “It’s killing me. This dress, the heels. It’s all killing me. I barely stand a chance when you’re dressed in those cute sweats of yours, and I’m supposed to just act normal when you have the most delicious thigh sticking out like that?” He shakes his head. “No, Bridge. I mean, yes, I’m supposed to act normal, but it’s hard. Literally.” Will pushes his hips up, and I feel his cock—just like he said, it’s hard . And waiting for me.
I laugh into his neck before pressing a kiss there. “You’re kinda adorable, William.”
His arms wrap around me so tight, I whimper a little. He kisses my shoulder and whispers “You’re kinda my everything, Bridget.”
I pull away to meet his gaze, a stinging building behind my eyes. “Don’t say it like that.”
“Say it like what?” His voice is soft, but his confusion heavy.
“Like…” I sigh, my eyes studying his face. Like you have feelings that go way deeper than friendship. Like you’re right there with me.
But I refuse to say it out loud. To bring the subject up. To even mention a hint of the possibility that there might be anything other than friendship blossoming here. Because what if I’m wrong? What if I’m so wrong I go back to being alone?
I can’t. I can’t lose him.
“Bridge?”
“Nothing. Like nothing, Will.” I force a smile, but Will isn’t buying it.
“Listen, Bridge. I think we need to have a serious conversation. Things have changed and?—”
“We’re here. Cash, credit, or tap?” The cab driver interrupts us.