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31. It’s really not the end of the world, just the end of an era

31

IT’S REALLY NOT THE END OF THE WORLD, JUST THE END OF AN ERA

T he car ride to my apartment starts off eerily quiet. After I scoot into the spacious back seat of Will’s—the company’s —tricked out, gas-guzzling, black monster of an SUV, he wordlessly helps me click my seatbelt into place. Being so close, a wave of his scent falls over me. And it takes a godlike effort to ignore the way it brings back every single incredible feeling to the front of my mind, every unbelievable memory that we shared, but I need to right now. Because I can’t let my feelings for Will—or at least the Will I thought I knew—get in the way of whatever is going on here.

When he pulls away to secure his own seatbelt, it’s a massive relief.

Just like he said, the car—or tank, more like it—has a fully stocked minibar, tucked somehow between our seats. It’s clear from the set-up that this was a very, very special custom model. Will takes enough ice into a cloth napkin he finds on top of the bar and knots it into a makeshift ice pack. With extreme care, he takes my injured wrist from me and gently presses it to my skin. I jump from the contact, but I lie to myself by thinking it’s because of the coldness and not because the touch belongs to the man I gave my whole heart to only to have him rip it to shreds.

Which reminds me…

“I think it’s time for you to explain what the hell is going on.”

“I don’t even know where to begin.”

“How about the obvious part? Your name. What’s your real name?”

He laughs once, humorlessly. “You know what my name is. Will Jacobs.”

“If that really is your name, then why did they call you Liam Stevenson up there?”

He takes a deep breath, seems to ready himself. “It’s… complicated. Kinda.”

“Try me.”

“Right. Well. It’s a bit of a cliché and a really long story, but I’ll start from the beginning.”

“That’s usually the best place to start.”

His mouth barely twitches into a smile, but disappears when I remain cold, brows permanently pulled together.

“So, when Mom married my dad, my grandfather Liam wasn’t super happy about it. Dad was the son of a factory worker and homemaker, had no college education, and had been working as an hourly employee in Stevenson’s HQ’s mailroom. Which, to add insult to injury to my grandfather, is where my parents first met.

“Mom was visiting my grandfather at his office when she ran into my dad in an elevator. She says it was love at first sight.” He shrugs and shoots me a look. “I don’t know about that, but I know my grandparents were far from happy with the situation. Pretty sure my grandfather fired my dad and everything when he found out about them. Mom was used to being surrounded by wealthy men with Ivy League graduate degrees—not ones who came from blue collar families. And my grandfather was pretty clear that if she wanted to continue a relationship with my grandparents, she’d have to fall in line. She was their only daughter, so they had their society’s expectations of her marrying some dude from American royalty, basically.”

I scoff and shake my head. “Classic.”

“Yeah, I know. But that’s how it is with these families. It’s like happiness comes second to what other people in their society think. But who cares about that?” He huffs, frustrated. Either at himself, his family, or this entire situation in general, I don’t know. “In the end, Mom decided to run off with my dad, obviously. They got married and didn’t speak to my grandparents until she found out she was pregnant. Mom had been trying to make things right between them for a while and finally managed to when they realized they would be missing out on having grandkids. So, in honor of their rekindled relationship, she named me after my grandfather.”

I wonder how it made Will’s dad feel to have his child named after a man who had so strongly rejected him. Immediately, the thought makes me sad for Sandra, because it couldn’t have been easy to balance conflict between the people she loved.

“He was elated I was born a boy and named after him because he thought he was going to pass on the family company to me. But I never showed any interest in business.”

“Didn’t you major in Econ?”

“Yeah, but… I did it because my grandfather offered to pay for college, and that was a condition. He said I had to study something ‘realistic,’ something I could apply to business. And I was good at it—you saw all those Mathlete trophies in my mom’s house—which is why I didn’t mind so long as I would be able to double-major in art.

“I never expected him to hold it over my head, though. Paying for school, I mean. But the second I graduated college, he kind of… called on me? To start working with the family company. Started calling me Liam instead of Will. It was like he had this whole life planned out for me. And I hated it. I felt like I owed him so much and almost wished he had never offered to pay for school.”

Money can turn the kindest of people into the worst. While I’m seething in anger and betrayal from what he hid from me, I love the Will that I got to know enough to feel deep sadness for him.

“I didn’t grow up with the best example of what a family’s supposed to look like—you know that—but that doesn’t exactly sound like the kind of love you’d want to receive,” I tell him. “And while there was obvious financial support, there didn’t seem to be much emotional support. I didn’t grow up with much of anyone, but the one grandparent I did have gave me everything. I’m sorry you didn’t have that.”

He nods, eyes sad. “I still have my mom, though. Don’t forget.”

That makes me smile a little, because it’s true. Sandra Jacobs is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, and I loved her the second I met her. Since her birthday party, I’ve been to her house two more times (as Will’s official girlfriend) and every time she makes me feel more and more loved, more welcome.

“Your mom is amazing.”

His grin is wide. Proud. “The best.” But the happiness that was so clear on his face disappears in a heartbeat when a dark cloud seems to fall over his face. “So when I didn’t answer his ‘ call, ’ he took it personally. Mom got upset because he was back to his conditional love ways and my grandmother had passed already, so she wasn’t there to soften him up this time around. So we fought. We stopped talking. And I was kind of adrift already—you already know that—not really knowing what I wanted to do in life. So I took up a teaching job in my hometown and just… did that for a while.”

“What does this have to do with anything? With you lying to me and?—”

“ Omitting. ” He takes a deep breath. “It has to do with it because after several years of not talking to my grandfather, I had to go back to him, tail between my legs, and ask for help. After I crashed my car and paralyzed my mother, leaving her with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of medical debt and a lifetime of additional health problems, I went to him for money.

“Mom was too angry to do it herself, so I did it. I went to him for money for his daughter and he flat out refused to give it to me. Told me it was my responsibility to figure it out. And you know what? I don’t blame him. It’s my fault she’s in the wheelchair. It’s my fault I’m in this situation. And if you tell me to fuck off, I’ll hate it, and I’ll hate myself even more than I already do for the rest of my life, but I’ll understand because I know it was all my doing.”

“Are you trying to make me feel sorry for you? Because, yes, it makes me sad for your mother, but what you did to me and us?—”

“ No . No, I’m being serious. I’m owning up to my mistakes. I’ve known for a long time that this day could come. That it would come. I just… My grandfather promised he’d give me the money for my mother under the condition that I work for him for five years minimum. It was a starting bonus, the already high salary, and at the end of the five years, another massive bonus. He also specified that because Stevenson was a public company, but family-run, it might be best for people to start referring to me professionally as Liam Stevenson, as well. ‘To keep the tradition alive,’ he’d say. ‘For the shareholders.’” Will has the decency to roll his eyes in disgust. “Obviously, it was all about appearances for him. Always has been. And I guess he was hoping I’d fall for the high salary, perks, and promotions he kept giving me. Not that I wasn’t good at my job, but it was very evident that it was all a way to train me to take over. To entice me. To save face after ‘losing’ his daughter to a ‘commoner.’

“But I never wanted to stay in the job. I saved every penny I could after helping pay off some of my mom’s bills just in case she ever needs more. With the exception of Ginger’s medical bill, I have not spent a single dime of that money on anything for myself because I feel like it isn’t mine. So no, Bridget. This wasn’t about corporate espionage. This wasn’t about gaining secrets in order to make your job more difficult by having the upper hand in negotiations. This wasn’t about tricking you to get laid. But I did keep things from you because you just assumed that I was a middle manager, and it didn’t seem relevant to clarify at the time—we were just strangers on the internet. And once things started changing for us, we had already talked about how much you hated upper management, specifically my finance team—run by me —for making your job impossible. So what was I to do? I had only a few months left of obligation to my grandfather and didn’t want to mess that up and lose out on the bonus he promised—I had to stay for my mom. I also didn’t want to mess things up with you. And yes, I was a coward. But I was always going to tell you. After all this was over, after I had quit and finished up this role, I was going to tell you.”

“You… You paid Ginger’s vet bill?” I ask in a whisper. My brain is overloaded with information, but this is what stands out from everything he just told me.

He sighs, exhausted. “Yeah. Yes. I had to. It was over nine grand and just…”

Nine grand??

“It wasn’t Declan?”

His eyes tighten. “ Dr. Sloane . And no. It wasn’t him. It was me. That errand I had to run that morning… It was to go back down to the animal hospital and pay off the bill. I only paid off part of the bill to make it believable. Left those couple hundred for you to pay. Then I spoke to the office and begged them not to say anything and?—”

I scoff, cold and furious. It completely throws Will off, has him physically recoiling as much as he can in his seat.

“Do you see how incredibly manipulative you’ve been? All the lies and just… the controlling ways in which you’ve behaved over the last few months?”

“Bridget, no. I wasn’t trying to manipulate you by?—”

“Lying to me about who you are. Lying to me about the vet bill. Which, yes, is incredibly generous of you, and I’ll find a way to pay you back eventually, but you should’ve told me and?—”

“I never lied! And you would’ve never let me pay if I’d offered and?—”

“Because it would’ve revealed who you were, right? That’s mostly why you didn’t want to tell me. Because by picking up a nine-thousand dollar bill you’d have to reveal that you were working at the executive level, making a shit ton of money.”

“Bridget, I didn’t do it to manipulate you. I did it because I lo?—.”

I suck in a breath. There’s no way I can keep the tears at bay any longer. They streak freely down my cheek, warm and wet.

“Don’t. Don’t you even dare say it.” It’s like lightning striking a tree right down the middle—my heart has been stricken and split in two—raging, burning. “Maybe your intentions were good, but your actions…” I shake my head. “I get why it didn’t matter as much when we first met virtually, but things changed quickly. You should’ve come clean then. And in not doing so, you managed to blow up our entire relationship. I feel like I’ve been tricked into falling for you when I have never been more open and honest with anyone in my entire life.”

“I never lied about who I was—not to my core. I omitted details ?—”

I scoff. “Details!”

“Yes, details! Because what I do for a living is just a fucking detail. It’s not who I fucking am. A job isn’t an identity. I took you to my mother’s house. I showed you my childhood. I’ve shown you my heart, Bridget. You fucking know who I am .” He takes my good hand and presses it to his chest. Beneath my palm, I can feel his rapid heartbeat, racing to catch up with the madness. “We talked endlessly about everything from goat videos to our biggest traumas. You know everything there is to know about me. And I love you and everything that you are. This isn’t some silly fling for me. This is it. You are it . It can’t end because of something so dumb.”

It’s the wrong thing to say, and based on the way he winces, Will realizes it, too.

“You think this is dumb? After all the times I’ve been lied to and used by the people I’ve loved? You think it’s irrational of me to be angry at this?”

He exhales, dropping his face in his hands. “I didn’t mean that. Your feelings are valid, and I’m definitely a dick, but I did it out of love. Because I was scared. Can’t you just see that I did this because I’m in love with you—so fucking in love, Bridge—and I would’ve done anything to not lose you?”

I take a deep breath and squeeze my eyes shut, pressing myself against the back of the seat. This is so hard. And it hurts. It hurts more than any other betrayal. Because I am so goddamn in love with him. With the Will I thought I knew.

I feel Will’s large, warm hand come over my thigh. “Baby, please. Tell me you’re willing to work this out. Tell me this isn’t it.” His voice breaks. “You see the silver lining—the positive—in everything. In the worst situations, you keep your head held high. You’re able to keep moving. Is there any way you can do the same here, so we can move past this? I’m not saying it won’t take work and time and?—”

“You’re the one who taught me to stop settling for the silver lining, Will. To demand more from life than just accepting the bad and focusing on the good. So why would I stay with someone who has hidden part of who they are for months ? If you and I were still just friends and I were dating a man who did the same thing, would you be telling me to stay with him?”

Will’s eyes are bloodshot and wide when he swallows once. His voice breaks again when he answers, “No, I wouldn’t. I’d tell you you deserve better.”

I nod between tears. “Exactly.”

When I wipe my nose with the back of my hand, I realize we’re just a block away from my place, and what perfect timing. I take a deep breath and really look at Will. Get my last fill of the only man I’ve ever truly loved before I walk away from him and what I thought was the best relationship I ever had.