Chapter 5 Puberty #2
“What language do you think in?” Nakita placed an elbow on the table and set her chin in her palm.
I listened in as they asked Andreas questions about himself, attempting to slot myself back into the group’s rhythm, but finding it hard with Andreas’s hands still wrapped around mine.
My brain kept snagging on where our skin touched, like a sweater catching on a nail, pulling me out of the flow.
The warmth, the steadiness, the way his thumb traced idle, absentminded circles on my skin.
During a lull in conversation, and trying to snap out of my own awkwardness, I said, “So, what were you all talking about before I came in? I caught something about retinol?”
“Nothing really. Skin routines, that kind of thing.” Kendra’s eyes darted to Andreas’s then away as she reached for the pitcher of water. She topped off everyone’s cup, then held her glass up. “A toast! To Sam and Andreas. May your wedding be a destination one, preferably someplace warm.”
Diya rolled her eyes, but Nakita said, “Here, here! And may we all be invited.”
I joined in on the toast and sipped my water to buy time. I needed to recalibrate. This was my first dinner with a fake fiancé—a fake fiancé I had very real feelings for—and I should’ve come up with a game plan before walking in the door.
As the first round of vegan barbecue and sides arrived, the table conversation shifted to plans for Thanksgiving.
Kendra was working a double at the restaurant; Nakita was doing a Turkey Trot in Queens then spending the day with her family; Diya had a rare Thanksgiving off and planned to spend half of it sleeping in and the other half at her brother’s place in Connecticut.
Catching me off guard as the conversation turned to strange Thanksgiving side dishes, Andreas leaned close, voice low in my ear, and said, “You look beautiful tonight.”
I choked on a bite of black bean brisket, which prompted Nakita to thump me on the back with enough force to realign my vertebrae. “Are you okay?” she asked, eyes wide.
I coughed, nodded, and gave Andreas a side-eye that I hoped would convey confusion. Why would he say that? They couldn’t hear him. He could’ve whispered anything, nonsense, the recipe for hollandaise sauce. Why tell me I look beautiful?
Wait. Were we being recorded? Was there a bug at the table?
Meanwhile, Diya grinned, probably at the way my cheeks had just turned very, very red. “Okay, but you two are too cute. I mean, look at you. Sharing plates. Whispering. Kendra, are you seeing this?”
Kendra made a show of dabbing her eyes with a napkin. “It’s true. I was skeptical at first, but the chemistry is undeniable.”
Andreas didn’t react, but I could feel his posture relax, like he was happy to let the girls run wild with the narrative. Maybe we are being recorded right now.
Surreptitiously, I glanced around at the other patrons, looking for someone who could be Tobias’s spy.
After finding no one suspicious, it occurred to me belatedly that I was the only one not playing along. I was too busy second-guessing myself, filtering every word before I spoke it, afraid to say anything that might make me look foolish in front of Andreas.
WHO AM I RIGHT NOW?
Before I could answer this question, Andreas released my hand to pull out his phone.
He frowned at the screen flashing with a number.
“Sorry, I need to get this. It is about my trip tomorrow. I will be right back.” Before leaving, he placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, a gesture so sweet and old-fashioned I barely resisted the urge to follow him like a lost puppy.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Nakita leaned in and said, “Girl. I don’t know what kind of magic spell you put on him, but I’m obsessed.”
Diya chimed in, “Seriously, Sam. I’ve never seen you like this. So quiet, and calm.”
Kendra snorted. “That’s not calm. That’s what it looks like when you try really hard to be normal for an hour.”
“Shut up,” I said, but I was laughing because she was right, and it felt good to laugh and be known.
Nakita tapped her glass. “I love the way he looks at you. It’s like you’re the only person in the room.”
I rolled my eyes. “He looks at everyone that way. It’s just the Italian intensity from his mom’s side.”
“No,” said Diya, “it’s the ‘in love with you’ intensity. Don’t try to science this one, Sam.”
I had no response to this, so I just drained my water.
The table fell quiet for a moment, and I felt, for the first time since I walked in, genuinely happy to be here, even if my entire romantic life was an elaborate legal ploy and I was lying to them. I hoped they forgave me, when it all became public.
Kendra nudged me. “You look like you need a drink. You want a drink? I can get you a shot of whiskey if you want.”
“Yes,” I said, too loudly, “please.”
She flagged down the server, who took my order of a double without judgment.
When Andreas returned, he slid back into the seat next to mine and smiled at the group. “What did I miss?”
“We’re drinking,” said Nakita, winking at me. “Whiskey. Want one?”
He looked at me, eyebrow raised. “You sure?”
I pressed my lips together in a smile. “Positive,” I said, then under my breath I added, “I think I need it.”