Chapter Fifteen
Ashish
Bernadette Murphy is a stubborn woman .
She has an uncanny ability to block me out as if I’m not there. Is she watching me? Listening to me? Sure, we agreed on a truce, but this almost feels like the summer, only instead of staring at my phone, mentally pleading with her to finally answer my texts or calls, she’s right in front of me.
My desk is positioned in the corner of the room, giving me the perfect view of her profile. In between calls and emails, I watch her shuffle spreadsheets and Word documents from one screen to another. She has little earbuds tucked into her ears, and I never know if they’re on.
“Murph,” one of her coworkers calls from the door, and I watch her glance up before taking one of her headphones out. So, they are on . I type random words on my computer while I eavesdrop.
“Hey Cody, what’s up?” She turns her body toward the door, her eyes flicking over to me before focusing on her coworker.
“Did you bring lunch? A bunch of us are going to that sandwich place you like.”
I expect her to agree right away--anything to get away from me—but she hesitates, flicking another quick glance in my direction. I’ve brought her lunch every day this week. She’s protested every damn day--but she’s eaten everything I bring. I wink, not able to repress the big-ass smile creeping over my face. That’s right beautiful, you can count on me.
“I have lunch, thanks, Cody.”
“Ash? You in?”
I turn toward the door, appreciating the fact that he offered. The R and D team has been a hell of a lot more welcoming than engineering, and I don’t really know what the hell to do about it. I’ve been scouting firms this week but I don’t want to bring extra work and disappointment to a firm because the school doesn’t have its act together.
“Thanks, Cody, I appreciate it. I packed as well.”
He shrugs and walks down the hall to the next office. This team is a friendly bunch. I think Bernie thinks she holds herself apart from her coworkers, but I see all the little things she does to show them she cares. The coffee she brings to Gail, the first aid kit she snuck into Cody’s office after he explained the duct tape on his hand. Apparently, they’d been so busy with a new baby, they hadn’t even realized they’d run out of supplies. Bernie might be a grump on the outside, but I suspect she’s all softness on the inside.
My phone buzzes.
Ravi: How’s life, stalker?
While Bernadette might have a squishy center, Ravi is an asshole through and through. At least this week. Once I got here and he could see we’d be able to work just fine remotely, he relaxed and fell into his dual roles of hype man and pain in my ass.
Ashish: I’m not a stalker.
Ravi: Oh? What do you call moving across the country and camping out in a woman’s office when she doesn’t want to talk to you?
Ashish: There isn’t an office available for me in engineering. You know there’s some political bullshit going on.
Ravi: Sure…You have a lab partner yet?
Ashish: We got an email back from the faculty and Bernie and I are meeting with them next week. What do you want?
Ravi: What were you doing right before I texted?
Ashish: Working, unlike you.
I wasn’t working, I was staring at Bernie. Some things I don’t share with my brother. But I look forward to the day he’s just as obsessed with a woman. I suspect it’s a family trait.
Ravi: I need you to coach one of our interns. Her figures are off.
Ashish: Tom can’t do it?
I frown. Tom is one of the guys we promoted to fill in some of my role with the MIT student interns who are working with us while going to school. I picked him because he seemed interested in stepping up for some leadership opportunities in our firm.
Ravi: I think he can but it’s a student from last year’s cohort, Sheila. She’s nervous to talk to someone new and I think it would be helpful to go over the figures with you. Maybe Tom could be on the call, kind of like training?
Ashish: Sure, I can email her and meet with her on Monday. Is Tom doing okay?
Ravi: Yeah, I think he’s just nervous to work with the students. He had his first solo meeting with MIT this week and he seems a little stressed.
I can empathize with that. I always feel stressed after meeting with the faculty. It’s almost like industry and academia speak a different language and neither of us wants the other to know we don’t have all the answers.
When I first started working with faculty at MIT, we spent months fighting for control of the project. Halfway through the first year, we both realized that it was our community partner who had the control. That’s part of why I wrote this consultant role into the grant, so I could help the other schools work through the kinks more quickly.
Ashish: Alright. How’s Mom?
Ravi: Good, she and Dad are getting ready for their trip.
Before I can reply he sends another message.
Ravi: Seriously though, stalker, any progress this week?
I don’t know what he expects, that Bernie will suddenly turn around and launch herself into my arms and we’ll live happily ever after? The truth is I’d built her up so much in my mind before I ever met her that I lost myself when I met her in person; I was dazzled. She was right, we did live in different realities. For her, we were a hook-up gone wrong. For me, it was like meeting my celebrity crush, having them pay attention to me, and then dropping me for fanning too hard.
Ashish: I’m just trying to be a good guy, Chhote.
Ravi: You are a good guy, Bhaiya. She’ll see. Let me know if you need me to wrangle Tom.
I send an email out to our intern and cc Tom before letting myself look at Bernie again. She seems restless, clicking in and out of different spreadsheets, lacking that stillness of focus she usually has.
“Hey, you wanna go for a walk?” It’s been a hit or miss since our first lunch. The first two days, she accepted the food but didn’t really eat with me. Instead, she’d looked at her phone with her back to me. But yesterday, she cleared her stuff away and made space for us on her desk to eat together.
I think she’d been feeling guilty for ignoring me for two days. Despite that, I kept learning about her, breaking down my fantasy and letting her become a living breathing person. It only made me want her more.
I learned she’s grumpy as hell in the morning. More likely to scowl than smile. This morning, I got to the office before her. She shot me an irritated look when she gathered up her backpack to change clothes in the bathroom. If I had to guess, she was used to changing out of her bike shorts in her office before I came along. Not long after, she came back into the office in slacks, dropping a coffee and muffin on my desk without saying a word.
I learned that her legs look like they were a mile long in bike shorts. I’d never thought bike shorts were sexy until I saw Bernie carrying her bike into the office in them. I wanted to take her bike, close the door, and peel them off of her with my mouth. The fantasy was so strong I could almost feel her hands in my hair and how soft and slick she was between her legs.
“What?”
“Do you want to go for a walk while we eat? I made wraps. It would be easy to eat and walk.” I rise and stretch, feeling her eyes on me. I reach to one side and the other, drawing it out unnecessarily and letting her look her fill. She liked my body before, maybe it could be what will bring her back to me.
“I could–”
I relax and face her. Thinking about those tight shorts and having her attention on me has made my cock get a little hard, and I want to see her face the moment she spots it.
Bingo, I think to myself and walk toward her desk slowly. Her eyes are downcast before she pulls them up abruptly. “I could use a walk,” she blurts, flushing as she rushes to lock her computer.
I want to keep her flustered, ruffled, and paying actual attention to me, so I reach across the desk, slowly tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She has her braid up today, wrapped around her head like a crown, and I want to run my finger across the ridges. Besides the one night we were together, it’s always up. In a bun or a braid, never down and free. Wild, like it should be.
She’s holding her breath as I withdraw my hand, careful not to touch her skin. “Are you okay Bernie?” My voice sounds a little gravelly, and I watch her fist her hands on the desk, still not looking at me.
“Fine,” she snaps and it makes me smile.
“Great.” I straighten like the air between us isn’t so fucking thick you could strain it. “I’m going to go get the food from the fridge, be right back.”