Chapter 12
12
DIMITRI
The silence was what killed me the most.
It had taken years, but I’d learned to live with the connection that linked me to Lulu. Like a thin, vibrating strand of silk wound around my chest and hers. Those first few days—hell, those first few years—it had seemed like a chain.
But as the years went by, I became used to it. Used to feeling Lulu’s emotions. She could be miles away, but a smile would still pull at my lips when I felt her happiness. I might be a little more violent during training when I felt her anxiety or anger spike.
It wasn’t like the incessant buzz of a bee that refused to go away. It was more like the knowledge that I had someone that always knew how I felt without me needing to explain it. Sometimes she would show up when I’d had a bad day and just sit next to me because that was all I needed.
That was why I’d spent the night with her as my wolf. Any type of human connection was out of the question—she’d closed herself off in a way that only happened when she was at her lowest. But I knew she couldn’t refuse my wolf.
She never could.
When I couldn’t get through, my wolf always would.
Unless it was a moment like this where she slammed an iron wall between us and cut off the connection. I could count on one hand the number of times she’d completely shut me out, but none of those times felt like this.
The silence was overwhelmingly loud, blaring in my eardrums and leaving my wolf unsettled and unfocused.
I’d considered tracking her, but whatever spell she’d used to hide her literal tracks, it covered her scent, too. I was fucking useless until she either came back or let down her walls.
The odds of either happening were about as high as spotting a polar bear in the Sahara.
We were at a tipping point. Something in me knew it as sure as I knew my own name. I wasn’t entirely sure what was the trigger, but it had all been building to a moment that seemed to be just out of reach.
Rubbing my jaw, I shook my head and tried to clear the doom and gloom thoughts. If Lu needed a break, then I’d respect that.
Or, I’d try to.
I wandered around the side of the mountain I’d seen Lulu disappear and stared into the distance. Nothing could make a person feel so small and insignificant than looking up at a mountain range. From the snow-tipped peaks to the new growth of spring, the mountains were alive.
My gaze jumped between the peaks and valleys. The shit these mountains must have seen over the years. They’d been here longer than the wolves. Longer than the coven, even.
I heard the crunch of boots at my back and caught Alexei’s glacial scent. “Dad sent you to find me?”
“No,” he replied, standing beside me in a t-shirt and ripped jeans that did nothing to hide the ropes of ink across his arms and thighs. His blond hair was slicked back on top and buzzed short on the sides, and with his pale blue eyes, he could’ve passed for a Nordic king.
“Mama?” I guessed.
A dimple flashed as he grinned. “She worries.”
Shaking my head, I scuffed the toe of my boot into the small patch of snow that hadn’t melted. “She has other shit to worry about.”
Lex shot me a questioning look. “It’s not just you she worries about, Dima.”
I sighed with a nod. “I know. She thinks of Lulu like a daughter.”
“We both do,” Dad spoke up as he rounded the corner of the garage. His silver eyes scanned the landscape before landing on me. “She’s gone?”
“For now,” I hedged, not willing to say more.
Dad angled his head, cracking his neck. “Yes. For now.”
“What did you say to her?” I demanded, remembering his vague apology and the way Lulu seemed to shrink from him.
He had the decency to look ashamed. “I was speaking with your mother. I wasn’t aware she could hear us.”
I took a step forward, knowing my father’s wolf could view the move as a challenge. “What. Did. You. Say.” I ground out the words, just above a growl.
His eyes flashed, but he took a deep breath and seemed to let the challenge slide. “The truth.” Those two words held so much grief in them, and I could only imagine what he’d said. How he’d broken her down, even if he hadn’t meant to.
My parents weren’t cruel, and I knew they loved Lulu. But I also knew they worried about how close we were. That they worried about Lulu’s powers and how easily things could go from bad to we’re fucked.
“I said it’s not a question of if but when she loses control,” he added in an even tone.
Rage slammed through my veins. “Why the fuck would you say that?”
“Because it’s true ,” he insisted with narrowed eyes. “Before you say anything else, let me remind you that my mate is inside with an injury caused by Lucia losing control.”
I scoffed. “That was barely a scratch, and Lulu got control just as fast as she lost it. It was a fucking fluke.”
“Was it? Can you honestly say that she doesn’t pose some sort of threat to everyone in this household? To our pack?”
“You sure didn’t give a damn when she used those same powers to help bring your mate back,” I snapped.
“Careful, son,” he warned with a low rumble in his chest. “You don’t understand the power of a mate bond. It was only because I love Lucia that I didn’t instantly go for her throat.”
I stumbled back a step, stunned. “You wouldn’t.”
“If she gravely hurt my mate,” he paused, looking me dead in the eye, “or my children , I don’t know what I would do. But I know I’ve slaughtered men for lesser offenses.”
Usually this was the moment I would back down. The moment when my wolf would fall in line with my Alpha. Even Lex was standing with his head bowed.
Except my wolf was anything but submissive, and I was barely able to leash him. If I shifted right now, it would be an all-out challenge. My dad wouldn’t be able to ignore it.
Now wasn’t the time for that fight. Not yet.
Instead of shifting, I rolled my shoulders back and met him head on. “Lulu might not be my mate, but she is mine .” It was the first time I’d spoken the words aloud, and the power of them damn near brought me to my knees. “Threaten her, and you threaten me.”
Dad blinked once. Even that simple action spoke volumes. I knew his tells enough to know that I’d rattled him on some level.
But I wasn’t done. “I’ve done everything you asked. You wanted someone to spy on Elias? I did that. You wanted Skye protected? I did that. I’ve given you as much as I can, Dad. What I won’t do is give up Lulu. That’s the line I won’t cross. Not even for you.”
He sucked in a breath, looking a little stunned.
I’d spent years idolizing my father, wanting to be like him. Ever since I was a little boy, I’d wanted to be the man he was.
And now? Now the thought bordered on revulsion because this man I’d respected and adored was willing to threaten the woman I needed more than air.
“Nik?”
I glanced over my father’s shoulder where Addie and Mama stood, they had come out to see what was going on.
“Everything is fine, love,” Dad assured his mate, even as he angled himself so he wasn’t giving me his back.
Mama didn’t miss our body language. Eyes narrowed, she walked closer to us. “What’s going on?” Her tone was light, but the sharp way her gaze took in everything let me know she wasn’t an idiot.
Dad forced a smile that didn’t meet his eyes. “Just speaking with our son.”
“Speaking to our son doesn’t usually have you both looking seconds away from coming to blows.” She gave me her attention. “Dima?”
“Just talking like Dad said,” I ground out.
“Clearly you’ve both forgotten that I’m the person who knows you both best.” Huffing, she folded her arms. “Now, I’ll ask one more time. What is going on?”
Dad’s brows lifted, almost challenging me to speak up.
I stayed quiet, imagining I was slowly turning to stone.
Mama’s expression changed from annoyed to genuinely concerned. Her head swung back and forth, looking at each of us .
Addie drew closer until she could touch Dad’s back. The weight of her hand on his back had the tension leaching from his body. Turning, he took her hand and raised it to his lips. “We were simply discussing how strong mate bonds are.”
I couldn’t stop the scoff that escaped my lips.
His gaze cut to me once more. “How important family bonds are.”
“Yeah,” I agreed in a clipped tone. “And where exactly Lulu falls in that spectrum.”
Mama let out a surprised laugh. “Lulu is family.”
“I thought so, too,” I replied, never taking my eyes off my father. “But maybe I was wrong.”
Mama sucked in a sharp breath.
Addie’s green eyes widened even more. “Of course you’re not wrong. Nik, tell him.”
But Dad remained stoic.
“Nikolai,” Mama hissed.
Dad inhaled a deep breath. “You’re not a boy anymore, Dimitri. I won’t coddle you and pretend your attachment is some cute byproduct of a night that never should have happened. I own that I made a mistake. I let you be taken and that set off a chain of events no one foresaw.”
I lifted my chin a notch. “Lulu isn’t a mistake.”
“But her importance in your life may be,” he finished quietly.
Addie shook her head. “You don’t mean that.”
He looked down at her, love in his eyes. “What I know is that I won’t let you be hurt again by one of her outbursts. I will protect you.”
The air whooshed out of Mama. “Nik, it’s Lulu .”
“Exactly. It’s Lulu. That’s the only reason I let things get this far,” he answered coolly. He once more looked at me. “I love you, Dimitri, but you can’t keep blindly trusting her. Lulu is an incredible woman. I owe her debts I will never repay, but she is also extremely dangerous. None of us know the power she wields, and that makes her a threat.”
Silence hung suspended in the air, fragile as a bubble of glass.
I cleared my throat, my voice low and gravelly. “Don’t make me choose between my family and her. You won’t like the outcome.”
Mama pressed her fingertips to her lips, and Addie looked sick over it all. Lex was still staring at the ground.
Dad barely inclined his head, acknowledging my statement.
Exhaling slowly, I stepped back. Anxious energy burned in my veins. “I’m going for a run. I’ll cover the grounds in town and the edge of the town limits.”
“I’ll see you when you return.” His gaze darted to the man beside me. “Go with him, please, Lex.”
“Yes, sir,” Alexei answered gruffly.
“Dima?” Dad stared at me with a conflicted expression.
I arched a brow in response.
He sighed and shook his head. “See if you can find Lucia while you’re out patrolling.”
My eyes narrowed, nostrils flaring as I glared at him.
“I’m not your enemy, son,” he said in a weary tone. “I’m not hers, either. But until we know what’s happening, it would be best if she stayed where she’s safe.”
“Right, because you keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” I sounded like an arrogant shit, but I was past the point of caring.
“Contrary to your misguided suspicions, I am not looking for a way to. But I will protect my people and my family—which includes Lucia. I will protect her from herself if it comes to it.”
“And what does that look like? Throwing her in a cage like Jack?”
“I don’t know what that looks like yet.” Dad turned on his heel and stalked back into the house.
Addie gave me a sympathetic look. “He’s simply worked up because I just came back. I know Lulu didn’t mean to hurt me—it was an accident.”
I gave her a stiff nod.
“I’ll talk to him, Dimitri,” Addie promised as she turned to go back to the house, presumably to find my dad.
Mama stared at me after she’d left. “Dima, talk to me.”
I grabbed her in a hard, fast hug. “I can’t explain what’s going on, but I won’t abandon Lulu. Not now, not ever.”
Her blue eyes shimmered in the waning afternoon light. “Do you know where she is?”
“Not yet,” I admitted.
She pressed a hand to my cheek. “My sweet boy. I’m proud of you. It takes courage to stand up for who you love, especially when others don’t approve.”
I swallowed thickly. “And you? Do you approve?”
Her smile was wary. “I want to, but it’s hard to find the line where parenting begins and ends. I love you, and I love Lulu. But I also realize that she has access to a type of power that none of us understand. Even her own coven is afraid of her.”
I snarled a bit. “Her coven is a bunch of swamp donkeys. Fuck them.”
Mama grinned. “They are a coven of cunts, aren’t they?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “I love you, Mama.”
Rolling to her tiptoes, she kissed my cheek. “Not nearly as much as I love you. Follow your heart, Dima. It hasn’t led you astray yet. And no matter what you decide, I will support you.”
I shot her a lopsided smile. “Even against Dad?”
“Against the devil himself,” she vowed. “Be safe boys.” She gave Alexei a smile and then turned to wander back into the house.
“Holy fuck, brother,” Lex hissed when she was out of earshot. “What the hell was that? You all but challenged the Alpha. Father or not, he was within his rights to put you in your place.”
I rolled my neck, not saying a word because all I knew was that Dad could absolutely try to put me in my place.
But I wasn’t entirely sure that place was under him any longer.