Chapter 8 #2
I tighten my arm around Banjo’s waist without thinking. His skin is warm under my fingertips, and that’s enough of a shock to remind me I’m touching him. I jerk my hand away, grabbing the end of the leash in a way that I hope looked purposeful.
“Apologies, Despot,” I say with a shallow bow of my head. I’m not known for groveling or unnecessary flattery, so there’s no need to start now. “This is my pet, Banjo. He’s…new.”
“We’re happy to see you again, Tavryn. No matter how someone,” he pauses to glare playfully at the Despot, who shrinks—shrinks!
—in response, “acts toward your new companion.” Oliver looks over at Banjo, who has both composed himself and found enough common sense to stand half hidden behind me.
“Oh my goodness, did Tavryn make you wear that?”
Banjo frowns, glancing down at his incredibly skimpy outfit. “He told me this was what all humans wear ‘round here,” he explains, looking from Oliver to me and back again. Oliver laughs so hard he falls back, though the Despot’s giant, slimy bulk is there to support him.
“Tavryn, you’re so bad.” Oliver wipes his wet eyes, still chortling. “You know those rules don’t apply to you. We’d have given you a pass, if you wanted one.” His eyes linger on Banjo's chest and stomach long enough for me to feel uncomfortable.
“I know,” I say with a shrug, drawing a shocked gasp from Banjo. “I just wanted to show off my new prize.”
“That sounds like a story I’d love to hear,” Oliver says.
The Despot slides a hand around Oliver as he speaks.
The beast’s long, clawed fingers, held together by bright green goo, cover the entirety of the man’s stomach.
“I have to admit, Banjo, I never expected to see another human either.” He grimaces.
“At least, not one that I’d actually want to talk to. ”
The Despot nuzzles against him with his bony muzzle, causing Oliver to melt in his grip.
“Mm, but unfortunately, we do have plans this evening that we absolutely cannot reschedule.” He turns his head, kissing his partner’s slimy cheek.
It takes everything in me not to shudder in response.
Humans. They really will mate with anything.
“Can I convince you two to at least stay until morning?”
“My plan is to stay for a couple of days to resupply,” I explain. Oliver nods.
“Excellent! Then Banjo, you’ll meet me here in the morning? We can do brunch. Brunch is still a thing, right?” Oliver asks eagerly.
“Uh, yeah, we still got brunch,” Banjo says, blinking. “Wait, how long have you been up here?”
“We can get into all that tomorrow,” Oliver promises with a wave of his hand. “We’ll do brunch and give Tavryn and Des a chance to catch up.”
I swallow thickly. Catching up with the Despot is not on my to-do list. Having one-on-one conversations with him is something I attempt to avoid at all costs.
He considers me a friend at the moment, but there are many, many ways to fall from grace.
Especially without Oliver around to warm him toward me.
Instead of voicing any of that, I agree. “That would be lovely. Feel free to send the details along. We’re in my standard quarters.”
Oliver nods, and the Despot simply says, “Leave.” I tighten Banjo’s leash, nearly dragging him to the elevator with how quickly I walk.
I take a moment to really look at Banjo once we’re safely in the elevator again.
He’s been unusually quiet, and now that I’m thinking about it, he looks rather pale.
My heart hammers against my chest at the reminder of the Despot holding him by the neck.
I can still see traces of red around the collar from where he’d been so roughly handled.
I promised Banjo safety. And what had I done when the Despot nearly strangled him to death? Absolutely nothing. I knew the thought was ridiculous—how in the galaxy was I supposed to single handedly take down one of the most powerful beings in existence? But for some reason, my chest still aches.
“Are you alright?” I whisper, taking a tentative step closer to Banjo. We’re now close enough that the leash dangles slack between us. Banjo gives me a smile. It doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Uh, yeah, ‘m fine,” he mutters, refusing to meet my gaze. For some reason, that hurts more than anything else. “‘M sorry. I shouldn’t’ve—I should’ve thought ‘bout what I was doin’. He coulda hurt you.”
My eyes widen, and it takes me a few spluttering moments to figure out how I’m meant to respond to that.
Banjo nearly dies, and he’s worried about me?
He continues before I can figure out what to say.
“If Oliver hadn’t said somethin’ when he did, I know you would’ve jumped in to save me.
And it probably wouldn’t’ve gone too well for either of us. ”
I continue to stare at this beautiful, stupid human.
Banjo trusts me. He’d been certain I would save him, even at the potential cost of my own life.
The lump in my throat is too large to speak around.
I want to tell him the truth—that I had absolutely no intention of going up against the Despot for him.
But part of me wants him to keep believing it.
No one, not in my entire existence, has ever thought so highly of me. It’s far more than I deserve.
“Let’s go,” I say gruffly as the elevator door opens.
I don’t wait for it to fully open before I exit, and I have to turn sideways to fit.
The leash pulls tight as Banjo attempts to match my near frantic pace.
He doesn’t complain about the rough treatment, but I give him some slack when he makes a pained sound.
Right. The Despot nearly strangled him to death mere moments ago.
I should be gentler, at least with that.
We’re halfway to our assigned quarters when my breathing finally slows.
I need to calm down. Even away from the Despot, this place is far from safe.
My eyes dart around, taking in all the potential enemies.
My earlier confidence is quickly fading, and as I glance at each being around us, the only thing I can think about is whether I could best them in a fight.
This morning, the answer would have been a resounding yes. I no longer feel so cocky.
“What are you doing?” Stells says into my ear, drawing me back into the moment. I didn’t realize I had stopped walking. “Pull yourself together, Captain. People are beginning to stare.”
She’s right, of course, though how she’s managed to hack into Qauvela’s security feed, I have no idea.
I tilt my chin up, my shoulders straightening as I walk with purpose.
Banjo trots along behind me, doing a much better job of keeping his eyes to himself than I am.
Stells is right. I can’t let anyone see me falter, especially not here.
By the time we’ve arrived at our quarters, a lavish meal has been spread out on the dining table.
I drop Banjo’s leash to inspect the accompanying card.
It’s written in messy English, easily giving away the sender.
Oliver, attempting to smooth over any hurt feelings from the Despot’s outburst. I chuck it into the trash without bothering to ask Stells or Banjo to read the message.
“Looks like you won’t be cooking tonight. ”
“Too bad,” Banjo replies, tugging on some soft linen pants over those ridiculous shorts. Getting another glimpse of them has the corner of my mouth tugging up.
He seems to have taken the joke about the outfit fairly well. Now that I think about it, I’ve never really seen him upset. No matter what, he’s always got that stupid grin plastered across his face, just like he does now.
“The kitchen here is incredible. I bet we got access to all kinds of ingredients too. I could whip up something real nice.” He joins me at the table, looking over the spread. “What’s the occasion?”
“Oliver’s attempt at apologizing,” I say dismissively.
Even though everything looks delicious, my knotted stomach has no interest in food.
“Help yourself. He knows what’s safe for human consumption.
I’m certain he wouldn’t send anything that would be harmful to your health.
” I head towards the bedrooms, not stopping when Banjo calls after me.
“You’re not eatin’ anythin’?” he asks. I don’t need to look at him to know he’s frowning.
“No,” I reply, pausing only when I’m almost out of earshot. “The bathroom here is marvelous. I’m going to take the world’s longest soak. You’ll have to entertain yourself.” If I can’t fix the ache in my chest, I can at least momentarily soothe the ache in my back.
I spend the rest of the evening avoiding Banjo in an attempt to ignore these pesky feelings that seem determined to build inside me.
After enjoying a very long, very pleasant soak, I nest down in the bed in the larger bedroom, which I, of course, immediately claimed for myself.
I left my earpiece in the bathroom, hoping to be completely disconnected for once.
It feels strangely lonely. I’ve had Stells as a constant companion since I ported her into my ship over fifteen years ago. Her input isn’t always welcome, but at least she’s always available. Some days, that connection feels like it’s the only thing keeping me sane.
At least, I’m going to pretend the reason I’m moping around this luxurious room is because I miss Stells.
It’s definitely, one hundred percent, not because I miss the loud, sunshiney human that has spent the last week wriggling into my life.
Banjo fits here comfortably, more comfortably than I ever would have believed.
With him onboard, there’s only quiet when he’s asleep.
Otherwise, my ship is filled with constant chatter and music.
I try to force myself to long for my quiet life.
It no longer has the same appeal. Funny how quickly things can change without you noticing.
I lay bundled in the soft, fluffy blankets of my bed for hours, still wide awake.
I’ve never had trouble sleeping before, even though I’ve done a variety of things that should’ve kept me up at night.
None of those things made me feel the level of guilt I feel now, knowing I betrayed Banjo’s trust. Well, I suppose that’s technically not true, but still.
If we got into a situation that was his life or mine, deep down I knew I would pick mine.
No one was worth risking myself for. Not again.
The reminder doesn’t give me the comfort it once did.
And as I finally sleep, my mind is filled with nightmares of my past. Gun shots.
My head hitting the ground hard enough to make my vision spin.
Life-altering, excruciating pain. I jolt awake, breath coming in shallow gasps as I try to remember where I am.
My back feels like an icy knife is driving into it, attempting to push all the way through to my heart.
I throw the blankets off, ignoring the flashes of pain and nearly tripping as I try to get up with my legs still tangled in the sheets.
My intention is to go to the bathroom to splash my face with cold water, but I find myself hovering in the doorway to the second bedroom, where Banjo is sprawled across the bed in only his boxers.
He must have showered. The glitter is gone, but he’s still just as appealing.
Would he notice if I crawled into bed with him, or has it just become the norm?
An even worse thought crosses my mind: Does he miss me at all?
Before I can ponder that for too long, Banjo stirs. Apparently, he isn’t as asleep as I thought, and the dim light from the hallway is enough to rouse him.
“Tav?” he calls, his voice thick with sleep. It makes his prominent accent even more noticeable. “S’at you?” He squints in my direction, reaching out to me once he’s successfully confirmed my identity.
“Who else would it be?” I huff and cross my arms, attempting to look irritated even though my tail, coiled tightly around my leg, likely gives me away.
My feet lead me across the room of their own volition until I’m standing close enough for Banjo to touch.
He drops his arms and stares up at me, blinking to focus his vision.
“What’s the matter?” His voice is somewhat clearer now that he’s a little more awake. “You look…I dunno. Not right.”
I can’t decide if I feel offended by the comment or pleased that Banjo knows me that well already. But I do know I can’t answer truthfully.
“It’s freezing in the main bedroom, and I simply cannot find the thermostat,” I complain as I slide into the bed beside him.
The lie is obvious. My bed is filled with plush, warm blankets just like Banjo’s.
He holds up one of said blankets for me to burrow under.
“I suppose I have no other option but to let you warm me.”
Banjo chuckles, an attractive sound that comes from deep in his throat.
“Yeah, suppose you don’t,” he agrees, though he doesn’t immediately wrap me in his arms the way I wish he would.
My own fault since I told him he wasn’t allowed to touch me.
I have to admire how firmly he’s stuck to my boundaries, boundaries that are crumbling quickly under the weight of my growing attraction.
“You may touch me,” I tell him as I slide closer, although I’m quick to add, “tonight.” That definitely gets his attention. He props himself up on one elbow to look down at me.
“Like…anywhere?” he asks, grinning. So eager, just like he always is. He tentatively rests one hand on my side. Thank the stars I’d thought to throw my robe on before my wandering feet led me here.
“You say that as if we’ll be doing anything besides sleeping.
” I try to keep my voice firm, but I know he can hear right through it.
“Now lay down so I can get comfortable.” He complies, and I flop over onto him without another word.
He lets out a soft laugh, wrapping both arms around me as I nuzzle against his chest. His light smattering of body hair tickles my nose, but it doesn’t bother me the way I thought it might. None of this does.
“Good night, Tav,” Banjo hums. I swear I feel him press a kiss to the top of my head. I must be exhausted if I’m imagining things like that. “Don’t let the bed bugs bite.”
“Ugh, it doesn’t surprise me that humans have bugs in their beds. Disgusting creatures,” I mutter, the words coming out muffled against his skin. The last thing I hear is Banjo’s warm laughter as I drift off to sleep.