Chapter 23 #2
“Oh, baby,” he mutters, coming over and wrapping his arms around my waist. “It’s okay.
You can cry if you wanna.” He places a feather light kiss on my forehead, then my nose.
“Let me know what you wanna do. We can go back to the room, or I can let you soak in peace. Or if you want company, I can get in the pool with my eyes closed.”
I snort, the sound wet. There’s no doubt Banjo will happily do any of those things, or anything else I ask of him. How I ended up with such a thoughtful, kind being, I have no idea. I definitely don’t deserve him.
But Banjo?
He deserves everything, and that includes knowing the truth. All I have to do is be brave enough to tell him.
“It’s fine,” I say, after taking a few minutes to pull myself together. This isn’t me. I don’t cry. But then again, I’ve done a lot of things with Banjo I normally never do.
I undo the tie of my robe and let it fall open. When Banjo looks away, I grab his chin and force him to look at me. “I want you to see.”
Banjo’s eyes widen as I shrug out of the robe, letting the fabric pool at my feet.
It’s nothing he hasn’t seen before, although I suppose he’s never seen my arms and shoulders completely bare.
Lust simmers in his gaze, and he lingers on my soft cock for a moment before tilting his head back up to meet my eyes.
That was the easy part. Now it’s time for the hard part.
Taking in a deep breath, I turn away from him and slowly take the steps down into the pool.
I don’t know what I was expecting. A sharp inhale?
A million questions? Instead, Banjo is silent, which is almost worse.
No one has seen the scars on my back, including me, but I know they’re bad.
After it first happened, I traced the rough ridges with my tail, feeling every bump and knot of scar tissue. I never did it again.
Even though it’s been years since then, they haven’t changed any. They’re still as ugly as when they first began to heal.
I sink into the water when it hits hip level, relieved to be hidden from Banjo’s sight again. Before I can turn to get his reaction, he’s right behind me. “Tav,” he breathes, the words warm against my ear. “You ain’t gotta tell me nothing, okay?”
He presses a kiss right below my ear, and I shiver as his nose brushes against the lobe.
“But if you ever wanna talk, I’m here for you.
I’ll always—” He pauses, managing to catch himself before he makes a promise we both know he can’t keep.
“I mean, as long as I’m around, I’ll be here for you.
You can tell me as much or as little as you want. Don’t bother me none either way.”
“I should tell you.” The statement is more directed at myself than Banjo. It’ll be good to get it off my chest. And Banjo’s right here, ready to listen or not, depending on what I need.
I lean back against him, letting out a breath when my back meets his chest. If Banjo doesn’t like the feel of my raised scars against his skin, he doesn’t say. “When I was younger, I…did something stupid.” It’s a terrible understatement, but I’m not sure how else to start.
“Now that’s hard to believe,” Banjo hums. The vibrations of it combined with the heat from the water help relax me. I chuckle softly.
“I trusted the wrong person,” I explain. “On Vocarie, it’s incredibly difficult to get ahead. You get what you're born with, and I was born with less than nothing. But I wanted more. I wanted to make a name for myself. I wanted to find my perfect match.”
But most importantly, I wanted to be happy. It was the thing I wanted more than anything else in the galaxy.
“Your perfect match?” Banjo repeats. Then it clicks. “Oh right, you said y’all used to be one being, so you each got another being that’s supposed to be your other half, right?”
I nod. “It’s a nice, if false, story, but at the time, I believed it.
” I rest my head back against Banjo’s shoulder.
Telling him the truth is easier when I don’t have to look at him.
“One day, I met an Aekzuk my age. Ace. We immediately clicked. For months, we did everything together. I thought…” Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, and I have to pause to keep myself from sobbing.
“I thought he was it. My other half. The love of my life.”
My voice breaks at the admission. I’d been so naive, and I’d paid the ultimate price.
“He wanted to steal from one of the largest Aekzuk banks. He told me it would be easy, that they wouldn’t even miss it, and that afterwards we could run away together and make a new life for ourselves somewhere better. ”
“I didn’t want to take the risk, but he told me if I really loved him, I would do it. He said it was the only way I could prove my love was real. So, I did it.”
“He was right. It was easy. Too easy. And there was even more money in the bag than we were planning to steal. I suppose that should have been the first red flag that something was wrong.” I close my eyes, exhaling slowly as I attempt to settle myself. It’s ineffective.
“It turned out he was setting me up the entire time. All he’d wanted was a poor, desperate Daulkun who he could stomp all over in his rise to power.
As soon as I slipped out the back exit like he told me to, I was surrounded.
They took me and they…and they…” A whole-body sob cuts me off mid-sentence. I try to power through, to no avail.
Banjo tightens his hold on me, his fingers digging into my stomach. The dull pain grounds me. It reminds me that he’s here, at least for now, and nothing I can do or say is going to make him let go.
“As punishment they…” I struggle to swallow down my emotions. Getting this out is far harder than I thought. “They brought me to one of the public squares, and they sawed off my wings.” The word comes out in a guttural wail, the pain as sharp and fresh now as it was then.
My wings. My beautiful, lovely wings. Gone.
It hadn’t been quick either. They’d wanted me to suffer, both then and for the rest of my life.
“And he stood there and watched as they did it. He didn’t even look guilty! He just smiled up at me like I was getting exactly what I deserved.”
I’d believed that for so long. Believed that I deserved this broken, mutilated body for the mistake I made. It had only been in the last few years I’d finally realized it wasn’t true.
“Oh Tavryn, baby,” Banjo whispers, nuzzling my neck. My head immediately falls to the side to give him more room. I brace myself for the apologies, the empty platitudes, the pity, but Banjo offers me none of that. Instead, he holds me close and gives me what I really need: him. Just him.
We stand like that for a long time, until my crying moves from sobs to sniffles.
I feel mentally and emotionally drained, but also better.
Even though telling Banjo didn’t change anything about what happened, it did remind me that someone is finally on my side.
There’s finally someone I can actually, truly trust to catch me if I fall.
For now, the voice in my head whispers. It’s right. Banjo won’t be here forever. I won’t be able to delay our trip to Dhamoirs much longer, and he’ll be one step closer to leaving me forever. I have to take advantage of every moment while I have it.
“Banjo.” I turn as I say it, wrapping my arms around his neck as I look up at him.
His eyes are puffy and red, like he’s been crying too.
Somehow, he managed to do it more quietly than me.
I cup his cheek, my thumb brushing one of the lingering tears away.
“Darling.” He smiles down at me. It brightens up the dimly lit cavern. My own personal sun. “I want you.”
Banjo hums as he leans down to press our lips together, though he pulls away before I can make it anything but chaste.
“You have me,” he reminds me. He slides his hands around to my hips, giving them a soft little squeeze.
“For as long as you’ll put up with me.” He grins like he’s said something clever.
Little does he know if I had my way, I’d put up with him forever.
“No.” He frowns, and I continue before he can speak. “I want to be yours. I want your cock in me.” Color blooms beautifully across Banjo’s cheeks.
“O-oh,” he says with a cute little laugh. “Are you sure you’re okay? I don’t wanna take advantage of you when you’re feelin’ not right.”
My hand drops to wrap around his throat, gripping tight enough for him to know I mean business. “Are you questioning me?” I ask. I press forward, my half hard cock brushing against his leg. “Do you think I don’t know what I want?”
Banjo swallows thickly, his eyes growing darker. I can already feel his cock swelling against my leg. “No, sir,” he mutters as he licks his lips. “You always know exactly what you want.”
“So, when I tell you I want your cock in me, what do you say?” I force him to hold my gaze by tightening my grip on his throat.
Banjo’s voice is hoarse when he replies. “Thank you, sir.”
The grin spreading across my face is smug. “That’s my good boy.” I stand on my tip toes to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Now show me what you’ve got.”