Chapter 7
Arlo
With my phone pressed to my ear and Maryanne talking to me about logistics, I look around my living room. My new living room. I really need to get to work, but this call can’t wait, and truly? I can’t stop staring at my new living room.
I couldn’t believe my luck when the landlord called me two days ago and told me that I was good to move in. It almost cleared out my bank account, but I managed it.
“Their beds will be delivered tomorrow, and then I’ll be ready to schedule my home visit.”
“That’s wonderful news.” Maryanne clicks away at her keyboard, or at least I’m assuming that’s what she’s doing. “I’ll perform the initial home visit, and then after that, if the kids are placed with you, we’ll coordinate with local DFCS offices for their case after that.”
“If?”
More clicking. “Yes, I’m not anticipating any issues, given the information you’ve provided, and you know we like to keep kids with family where possible.”
I nearly roll my eyes. If that was the case, they’d already be here with me. “I understand.” I swallow hard. “And what happens if you don’t approve the house?”
“I don’t think that will happen. Each child will have their own room?”
“Yes. But… I’ll be in the living room. Is that okay?”
“That’s not a problem at all. We just need to ensure that each child has their own room, a bed with sheets, electricity, running water, and food.” I’m opening my mouth to speak when she continues. “And also that the home is reasonably clean and can pass safety checks.”
I wonder if I should get Jasper out here to take a look at things and make sure it’s all up to par. A couple of months ago, I watched him lay new flooring in his house, so I’m sure he could do a quick check for me.
At the thought, a sharp pain ricochets through me, nearly doubling me over. I can’t do that, obviously. For one, I’d have to be speaking to Jasper, which I’m not. And for two, I’d have to tell him about Salem and Nora, which can’t happen.
Though I am starting to wonder how I’m going to handle that. I can’t just… hide two kids from my friend group forever. Unless I want to cut all of them off too.
And truly, why haven’t I told Jasper? Okay, sure. He doesn’t want kids. But we don’t have to be together. We can just be friends. I can let him in. I can trust him. I want to, but I’m so afraid. What’s the alternative, though? Never talk to anyone again? I can’t do that either.
“Arlo, are you there?”
I shake myself from my thoughts. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m here.”
“Does all that sound good?”
I have no idea what she even said. And I’m not going to admit that I didn’t hear her. What if that’s a tick against me? “Yeah, that sounds great.”
“Perfect. So I’ll see you next week. Thursday at around 5 p.m., give or take some driving time.”
I nod dumbly. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
Pulling my phone from my ear, I drop the appointment time in my calendar. I’ll have to talk to Luca and make sure I’m home for that.
Home.
What a crazy concept. I have a new house.
“Alright, well, I’ll let you go for now. But don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions or concerns.”
“Thank you.”
Hanging up the phone, I take another look around. This is gonna work just fine, I think. There’s a lot I still need to do, but I think I can manage it in the next week.
I’ve put off calling Salem. I want him to know that I’m gonna be getting him, but I don’t want to call yet. I don’t want to get his hopes up again, only to have them dashed.
We’ve all had way too much of that already.
The diner was busy as hell when I first got here, but now it’s slow as hell, and I’m bored. And also not making any money to replenish my almost empty bank account.
The thing is, we Montgomerys are used to living in poverty. Growing up, I went to bed hungry more often than I didn’t, and I loved school if only because I was promised two meals a day.
Winters were cold without heat, and the summers were unbearable without air conditioning, but I survived. That doesn’t mean that’s how I want to live my life now, and it’s damn sure not what I want for Salem and Nora. They deserve better than what I got.
Better than empty stomachs and shitty parents. They deserve better than being forgotten at school when Mom and Melvin were too strung out to remember to pick them up. They deserve more than I ever had.
I didn’t think I’d be able to provide that for them. And fuck, maybe I can’t. Maybe they’re better off where they are, and maybe they could get adopted and be in loving families.
But they belong with me.
They want to be with me.
I’ll work myself to the fucking bone if it means providing them with better.
I nearly jump out of my skin when the door opens and Jasper walks in.
Like always, I’m stuck in place, throat dry and eyes glues to him.
He looks awful. He doesn’t, really. He looks as fucking incredible as he always does, but he looks tired and sad. As tired and sad as I feel. This week has been so fucking hard. But it’s what I need to get used to.
Staying the night with him won’t be an option when I have two kids at home. Showing up at his house at midnight is out too.
No matter how much I love him. No matter how much he loves me.
My life isn’t the life he wants. He’s made that clear.
And maybe it’s my own fault for not telling him sooner.
Maybe we wouldn’t be standing across from one another in the diner, staring at each other in obvious pain, if I had just been upfront.
It’s too late to do anything about that now.
“Theo,” I call out, not taking my eyes off Jasper. “Your table.”
Then I tear out of the dining room and into the alley through the kitchen like my ass is on fire. Not before I catch sight of the devastation on Jasper’s face, though.
I drop against the wall, bracing my elbows on my knees. The brick digging into my back grounds me as I bury my face in my hands and inhale deep breaths.
The door slams open, and two sets of footsteps sound out beside me.
“Arlo?” Theo asks, concern clear in his voice.
Luca kneels in front of me, his feet close to mine. “What’s going on?”
I inhale another breath, afraid that if I open my mouth, I’m going to break down.
“Arlo?” Theo asks again. “What’s wrong? Did he hurt you?”
His voice is tinged with anger, and it makes my heart flail helplessly in my chest. Jasper would never hurt me.
“He wouldn’t,” Luca says.
Bingo.
I finally lift my head. “No. He didn’t hurt me.” The opposite. I hurt him. Can’t you all see that on his face? “I can’t see him right now.”
If I do, I’m gonna lose my shit.
Theo and Luca share a glance that makes me feel very small and very young. Like I’m some child they have to look after.
“Why not?” Luca asks.
I drop my head again, my eyes burning. If I’m gonna cry, I’m not gonna let them see it. That would be the worst.
Theo clears his throat. “I’ll go tell him that if he wants to eat, he’ll have to deal with me.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
The door to the diner opens, then closes, and I’m left alone with Luca.
“Are you okay?”
I nod, since that’s all I can do without crying.
“You know we’re here if you need us, right? You helped me so much after I first got here. Austin is Austin, but you… You were the first friend I met after I got free. You’re special to me. I want to be here for you if you need me.”
“I know,” I croak out. And I do. I think, anyway.
“I’m serious, Arlo. You can talk to me about anything.”
But how? How can I talk to him about anything when he’s so close to Jasper? When his boyfriend is Jasper’s best friend? How am I supposed to just… trust that I can talk about things?
Hell, I hurt Jasper. If anything, he’d probably take his side.
“I know,” I say again, raising my head and looking at him.
The door opens, and Theo walks out. “He left.”
I dart my gaze to Theo. “He did?” Fuck. That’s what I wanted, right? So why does it hurt so much?
“He did,” Theo says, nodding. “He said to let you know his door is always open if you want him.”
I do want him. So fucking much.
“You can take the rest of the day off if you need to,” Luca says gently.
I shake my head. I can’t afford to do that. I really just can’t. “No. I’m scheduled to close. I want to close.”
“It’s no big deal. I don’t mind staying later to close for you,” Theo offers.
I shake my head again. Harder this time. “No. I want to stay.”
And even if I didn’t want to, I need to.
“Okay,” Luca says, patting his thighs and then pushing to his feet. “I should head back in. There’s no one in there.”
When Luca disappears back inside, Theo holds a hand out to me, helping me to my feet.
“Hey,” he says when I walk past him. I stop, turning to face him. “I understand not wanting to talk to Luca. Especially since he and Jasper are so close.” I nod my agreement. “I’m not close to Jasper, though.”
What does that have to do with anything? Oh. Despite everything, my heart warms. “Thanks, Theo. If I need to talk, I’ll let you know.”
Without another word, I step back into the diner. There’s not a lot I can do about Jasper right now. I’m not sure there’s anything I can do about him at all.
All I know for sure is that I need money. Which means I need to put my game face on and finish my shift.
I’ve never been to Hunter’s house before. First time for everything, I guess.
With a deep breath, I raise my hand and knock on the door, then step back. I count the seconds. If it hits a minute, I’m leaving. It’ll be my sign from the universe that this was a stupid idea.
…forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty—
The door swings open, and Hunter’s eyes widen. “Arlo?”
“Is Theo here?” I’m not usually one for rambling, but I must be some kind of fucked up today because I can’t seem to stop the words that come flying out of my mouth.
“Uh, Theo told me if I needed someone to talk to that I could talk to him, and maybe he didn’t mean that, but if he did, I’d really like to talk to him. Is he here? I could really—”
Theo pushes his way into the doorway and cuts off my rambling. “Arlo, hi. Do you wanna go for a walk with me?”
I nod, almost helplessly. “Please.”