Chapter 14
Arlo
Something’s beeping.
I peel my eyes open slowly, only to squeeze them shut. It’s bright. Someone needs to turn the lights off.
“Shu—” My voice cuts off into nothing. Not that it was much to begin with. Raspy and dry and all wrong. Fuck, I’m thirsty.
“Shh, baby boy. Don’t try to talk.”
My eyebrows draw together, my mouth opening but no words coming out. Something touches my lips. “Close your lips, baby boy, then suck.”
Cool, refreshing water rushes over my tongue, soothing my raw throat. At least a little bit. It still hurts pretty damn badly. I suck again, swallowing another mouthful of water.
“Easy, not so much.”
The straw disappears, and I try again to open my eyes. I manage to get them open enough to see Jasper. Where am I?
He must see the question in my eyes because he cups my face in a shaky hand, and when he blinks, tears fall from his eyes to his cheeks. “Don’t try to talk, okay?” Reaching down to grab my hand, he places my fingers against his palm. “Tap once for yes and twice for no.”
I tap once to show him I understand.
“Do you remember anything from before you were leaving to get the kids? Do you remember the fire?”
Fire? What fucking fire? I tap his palm twice.
Jasper frowns. “Yesterday…” He pauses, swallowing hard. “A couple of hours before you were supposed to leave for Tennessee, your house caught on fire. You passed out in the hallway. By the time we got there, your heart had stopped.”
The heart in question speeds up, the beeping I heard earlier getting faster and faster.
“Hey,” Jasper whispers, brushing his thumb along my jaw. “It’s okay, baby boy. You’re alright. Breathe.”
I follow his exaggerated breathing until my heart finally starts to calm down.
“That’s it. There you go.” His eyes are darting around my face, and for the first time, I notice how fucking tired he looks. How he’s got dark bags under his eyes and how his normally perfect hair is a mess, like he’s been running his fingers through it.
“Everything’s alright,” he coos, his thumb continuing to stroke along my jaw.
I try to nod, but it makes my neck hurt, so I stop. I pull my hand out of his, bringing mine up to my throat. It’s covered in gauze and tender as fuck to the touch.
“Second-degree burns. It’ll heal. No nerve damage. You’re going to be okay.”
Dropping my hand back to Jasper’s, I swallow hard. “Thirsty,” I manage to croak out.
My throat is so fucking raw.
Dropping his hand from my face, Jasper picks up a cup and presses the straw between my lips.
“You were intubated,” he says, eyes searching mine while I drink slowly. “The smoke inhalation didn’t help, but the tube they had down your throat is part of why it’s so hard to swallow and why it hurts to talk. That’ll get better too.”
“Kids?” My voice is so fucking raspy, and every single word I say feels like it’s coming out around gravel and glass.
“I talked to Salem. He said to tell you he loves you.” A small, tired smile graces Jasper’s lips. “And Maryanne.”
I hate that I can’t talk. I want to know what they talked about. If Salem is okay. If Maryanne is gonna keep them from me. If my house is gone. Do I have to start over again? Do I have to find another house and save more money? Did I lose everything?
The thought alone sends an icy chill down my spine, and my stomach sours. Tears well in my eyes and spill over, the salt burning my skin as it runs down my face.
“Maryanne says she’s keeping Salem and Nora in their current placements for now. I’ve consented to an expedited background check.”
What does that even mean? This is so fucking frustrating. I wish I could just fucking talk.
Jasper moves closer, not stopping until his nose brushes mine. “I know it’s frustrating, baby boy. Just be patient, okay? I’m gonna tell you all the things you need to know, and if you have questions…” He stops talking and sits back, then pulls my phone from his pocket.
I raise my eyebrows when he puts in the passcode and hands it to me. Fuck. How did he guess my password? Not that I really care. I don’t have anything to hide on my phone, but now he knows my password is his birthday.
He hands it to me with the notes app open.
After taking the phone, I start typing. It’s slow going, but I manage to get out what I want to know.
is all the kids stuff gone
did the house burn completely down
can i still get them
Jasper reads over the questions with a frown on his face. Then he sighs. “Yes, I’m sorry. The house is gone, and so are all of your belongings. But yes, you can still get the kids.”
Fuck. Goddammit.
I do a gimme motion with my hand until Jasper gives the phone back to me.
how? i have nowhere to take them. i worked so hard for that house
“I know you did. I…” Jasper pauses, swallowing hard. “I may have told Maryanne that you and the kids were going to live with me.”
My jaw drops open.
“It only pushes things out a little bit, okay? She has to do my background check, and then she has to do another home visit. Since you’re the approved caregiver, we can’t get them until you’re home from the hospital and able to care for their basic needs.”
but what about all their stuff?
Jasper reads my message, then brushes his thumb over my jaw again. He’s staring at me like he can’t quite believe I’m here. His eyes are haunted. I’ve never seen that expression in his eyes before.
“I have money, baby boy,” he finally says.
“Not tons or anything. But I live well within my means. My truck is paid off. My house was a fixer-upper, so the mortgage is cheap. I sent Theo and Hunter with my credit card to Graymont. They’re getting the kids beds and setting them up at my house right now.
Maryanne said they had some things—clothes and stuff—they’d bring with them, and that we could take them shopping when they get here for whatever else they might need. ”
Tears burn my eyes, and my throat tightens.
why?
Eyes darting to my phone, Jasper scoffs. “Why? Jesus, Arlo. Because I love you. I can’t just let you be homeless. Plus, I already promised Salem, so don’t even think about telling me no.”
you promised salem? promised him what
Jasper smiles. “That I’d take care of the three of you.
That I’d move you all in. That you’d be together again.
” He sobers, his face turning serious. When he speaks again, his voice is low and hoarse.
“I almost fucking lost you, Arlo. You didn’t have a pulse.
I broke your ribs trying to get you back.
I thought you were dead.” My eyes widen as he inhales a sharp breath.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not letting you out of my sight anytime soon. Or the kids, for that matter.”
The thing is, I’m not sure I want to be out of his sight anytime soon, anyway. I don’t even remember anything, but just the idea that I could have died… I’d be… gone. Just fucking gone.
I fumble for his hand, my body instantly relaxing when his fingers slide through mine. Even if I could talk, I wouldn’t have words to explain what he means to me, so I don’t even bother. I just hold his hand and stare into his tired blue eyes.
A sweet smile spreads across his face. “I got to be a big brother again today.”
He got to be a big brother today. What does that even mean? I cock my head, and my confusion must be evident. He shakes his head, the smile falling away.
“I’m not ready to talk about it yet, baby boy. But I will be soon, I promise.” He leans forward, pressing his lips to my forehead in a feather-soft kiss. “Are you feeling okay? Any pain?”
I tap his palm twice.
He frowns. “Are you sure? They have you on some pretty good painkillers, but you don’t have any pain at all?”
Picking up the phone, I tap out another message to him.
my skin on my throat hurts if I touch it, and the inside is really scratchy. my chest is a little sore too but nothing too bad.
After Jasper reads the note, I hand the phone to him.
“Let me get the nurse in here to give you some more pain meds.”
He disappears for a minute, and when he comes back in, a man with dark hair is standing beside him.
“Hey, I’m Mark.” I raise my hand in a small wave. “I’m gonna give you some medicine real quick that’ll take your pain level down. But it’ll also make you pretty tired, okay?”
Panic clutches at my chest.
Mark sees it because he rushes to assure me. “Not like before. It’s not sedation. It’ll just make you drowsy. You’ll probably catnap a little on and off, but it’ll help your pain a lot.”
I nod.
I follow Mark’s movements with my eyes, watching as he pushes something from a syringe into the IV in the back of my hand.
It’s warm when it hits my vein, chasing away the pain. My fingers go a little tingly, and my eyes droop instantly.
I inhale sharply. That feels… good. Really fucking good, actually. I wish I could always feel this good.
Mark was right. It definitely made me drowsy. He leaves the room after giving me a smile and telling us that he’ll be right outside if we need anything.
My eyes are already heavy, so I close them, and with a hand that feels like it’s made of lead, I bring my finger up to tap my lips.
Jasper’s soft chuckle and the gentle press of his lips on mine are the last things I remember.
“They started the investigation.”
I hear Austin’s voice, though it sounds like it’s underwater.
“That’s good,” Jasper says. “I want to find out what happened.”
“We all do, man. I—uh… Why did Arlo have kids’ bedrooms set up?”
There’s a long pause in the conversation, and then Jasper sighs. “I’ll let him tell you that.”
I try to force my eyes open, but they won’t budge, and I stop fighting.
“He’s still asleep. He’s woken up a few times, but never fully.”
I’m awake now. I want to say it, but I can’t make my eyes open. Can’t make the words come out.
“I promise I’ll have him call you as soon as he can talk.”
Who’s he talking to? What’s happening? Wish my fucking eyes would open. This is so fucking annoying.
“I know, Salem.” My heart thumps. “He loves you too. I know he does. Don’t forget to send me a text with things you want for the house. Okay, kiddo. I’ll talk to you later. Call or text me anytime.”
My eyes flutter but don’t open. He’s talking to Salem. I want to talk to Salem too.
Don’t hang up yet. I want to talk to my brother.
I wish the fucking words would come out.
What in the fuck is so fun about this for Mom and Melvin? How could they give up Salem and Nora to be like this? It’s fucking miserable. Even with how good it felt at first, I’d never want to be like this.
Jasper’s not talking now, so he must have hung up.
Even still, I keep trying to open my eyes. I want to talk to my brother.
Instead of getting lighter, they get heavier and heavier, and darkness takes me once again.