Chapter 23
Arlo
I wake up to Jasper squeezing my leg. I sit up straight, trying to get my bearings.
“Hey, baby boy,” he whispers. “Nora has to go potty.”
We’re sitting in a gas station parking lot, the lights almost blinding compared to the dark night sky.
“Okay,” I croak out. “Come on, Nor.”
I climb out of the truck on wobbly legs. Napping is ass. I hate it. At least when it’s like this. I like it so much better when I don’t wake up in another dimension.
Nora gets out of the truck, slipping her hand into mine as I yawn so hard my jaw cracks. Salem jumps down after her, looking as exhausted as I feel. “We’ll be home soon, kiddo,” I say, yawning again around the words.
Jasper’s door shuts, and then he locks the truck. Rounding the front of it, he smiles at us like he’s not the least bit tired. “If everyone else is going in, I am too.”
We pile into the gas station, and I lead Nora to the back where the bathrooms are. She goes in, and Salem slips past us into the men’s bathroom.
Leaning against the wall, I wait for them, yawning my head off the entire time.
Jasper walks to me, an energy drink in his hand. I nod toward it. “Not as awake as you’d like me to believe, huh?”
“I’m okay, baby boy, I promise.” He grins. “Just a little pick-me-up to get us through the last couple of hours.”
“I want one too. I want to stay awake with you.”
He shakes his head, his blue eyes sparkling. “Not necessary. I’d rather you get sleep.”
I sigh. “Fine. I’m not gonna argue.”
Eyebrows drawing together, Jasper presses the back of his hand to my forehead.
“What are you doing?”
He grins, dropping his hand. “Checking your temp. Thought maybe you were coming down with something. You? Not arguing?”
I scoff. “Just for that, I’m going to get a damn energy drink.”
I start to walk past him, but he steps in front of me, chuckling. “I’m kidding, baby boy. I want you to rest. Please?”
He blinks down at me, his bottom lip sticking out. “Ugh. Hate when you pout at me. It’s unbecoming of a man your age.”
Jasper barks out a laugh, then dips his head to kiss me. It’s short and chaste, which is for the best since I have no clue where the fuck we are, and not everyone is accepting.
The door to the bathroom opens, and Salem walks out. He glances between Jasper and me, then leans in close to me.
“I’m hungry,” he whispers.
I fucking knew that single bag of chips wasn’t going to be enough.
Jasper glances at his phone. “It’s breakfast time. Do you wanna hit a drive-through and pick something up?”
Salem looks up at him, but I’m too tired to figure out what his facial expression means.
“I think that sounds good.”
Nora walks out of the bathroom, wiping her wet hands on her pants. “Hey, Nor, you want breakfast?”
She nods. “Yeah, I’m super hungry.”
Jasper smiles. He’s enjoying this, I think. I need to have a talk with him later to be sure, but it really seems like he’s… happy about having Salem and Nora. I’m not sure why that surprises me, considering how hard he worked to help me get them.
“Do you need to use the bathroom?” I ask.
Jasper shakes his head, then tosses the keys to me. “You guys go ahead back outside, and I’ll be right there after I pay for this.” He waves his energy drink in the air.
The kids are quiet as we walk to the truck and climb in, and Jasper comes back just as I’m settling into the passenger seat.
There’s a McDonald’s across the street, and Jasper pulls out of the gas station and into the drive-through.
“What does everyone want?” he asks when we get to the window.
“I want pancakes,” Nora says. “And bacon.”
I turn in my seat. “It might be hard to eat pancakes in Jasper’s truck without making a mess with the syrup, Nor.”
“She’s okay. She can have whatever she wants.”
Nora grins. Jesus fucking Christ. He’s known her for all of a few hours, and already he’s spoiling the shit out of her.
“What about you, Salem?” Jasper asks, turning to face him.
“Uh… Just a hash brown, please?”
Jasper’s brow furrows. “That’s hardly breakfast. Do you want pancakes too? Or a breakfast sandwich? You can get anything you want.”
“What if it costs too much?” Salem says, barely above a whisper.
My stomach sours, and Jasper and I share a look.
“You can get anything you want, Salem,” Jasper says again. “There’s nothing on the menu too expensive for us to handle.”
I barely catch the sound of Salem practicing the breathing exercises I taught him.
“Okay. I’ll take a hash brown and biscuits and gravy.”
Jasper’s smile is blinding.
He already knows my breakfast order, and without missing a beat, he turns and rolls his window down to place the order.
I sit dumbfounded. Why is Salem so worried about the cost of things? Is this a remnant of foster care? Or is it from Mom and Melvin? And fuck, how am I supposed to help it?
Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I try to keep myself calm. Driving home from picking them up would be a really fucking awful time to realize I’m not actually cut out for this at all.
Salem and Nora deserve me to be at my best, and that means knowing what the fuck I’m doing.
I carefully pull my phone out, then shoot off a text to Luca.
Me
Do you think all parents have no fucking clue what they’re doing, or am I just like extra stupid?
I’m not expecting a response. It’s barely 6:00 a.m., but Luca starts typing right away.
Jasper is passing out food to everyone when his message finally comes in.
Luca
I think all parents, and even big brothers, struggle at first to figure out their shit. You know you can call Deb too if you need advice. She’s already told you she wants to be Mamaw Deb. And also, stop being mean to my best friend, thanks.
“Here, baby boy.” Jasper hands me my sandwich, and I take it with a sigh before texting Luca back.
Me
Thanks. Also, why are you awake?
Luca
You don’t want to know. Caught me right as I was about to go back to sleep.
I nearly burst into laughter. I’m not sure if I’m jealous or if I’m happy for him. A little of both, I think. Jasper is still treating me like I’m broken, and with the kids, opportunities for us to be alone seem like they’re going to be even more slim than they were before.
Me
Thanks, Luc. Love you.
Luca
Love you too. Always here if you need me. Let me know when everyone is up for visitors. We want to meet the kids.
Dropping my phone into my lap, I shift my attention to Jasper. “Sorry, baby. Thank you for breakfast.”
My words set off a chain reaction, and Salem and Nora immediately echo my words.
“You’re welcome, everyone. We ready to hit the road again?”
There’s a chorus of yeses, and then Jasper’s turning the radio on and pulling onto the highway.
The kids are asleep by the time we get home. It’s been a long-ass drive, and I’m ready to take a little nap. I hope the kids aren’t opposed to that. At the very least, Jasper will need to get some sleep.
I can probably make it through the day on what I’ve got, but there’s no way he will.
His eyes are heavy, and he looks exhausted. “Let’s get everyone inside, and then you go take a nap,” I say when he pulls into the driveway and puts the truck in park.
He hums, turning and gripping my chin to pull me closer to him.
His lips press to mine softly, then he pulls back. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I whisper, my eyes falling shut.
“Thank you for this.”
My nose scrunches. “For what?” I ask, opening my eyes.
“This.” Jasper nods toward the backseat. “For inviting me into your life and theirs. I’m so fucking happy to have you all. Never knew how much I wanted exactly this until you placed it right in my hands. I owe everything to you.”
There’s a jaw-splitting yawn from the back seat, and then, “You said a bad word.”
Jasper chuckles. “Yeah, you’re right. I shouldn’t do that, huh?”
I glance at Nora in time to see her shrug. “Don’t care. S’nothing Mom hasn’t said around me.”
I think I speak for both Jasper and me when I say that we want to be better than Mom. That’s not the standard I want to set for myself or the standard I want the kids to hold me to.
“That might be true, Nor,” I say, “but we shouldn’t be doing it around you. Just because Mom does something doesn’t make it right.”
Salem snorts, his eyes still closed. “You can say that again.”
Rolling her eyes, Nora huffs. “Fine. Can we go inside?”
Sitting up straighter in her seat, she tries to peek out of the windshield to check out the house.
“Definitely. Let’s go see your rooms,” Jasper says, a big smile on his face.
I’m really glad we got the kids, but I’m so ready to have a few minutes to talk to Jasper alone. I want to find out where his headspace is at.
When we all pile out of the car, Jasper grabs the kids’ new suitcases from the back, and I usher them toward the house, putting in the code on the door to unlock it.
Nora is bouncing on her toes in excitement while Salem’s eyes dart around.
Pushing open the door, I walk inside. Home sweet fucking home. After that car ride, I’m so happy to be home.
Jasper steps in behind us and rolls the suitcases toward the couch. “Do you all wanna see your rooms? As soon as everyone has some time to rest, we can make a trip to the store and buy some things to personalize them.”
I nod. “We didn’t want to do too much without you guys.”
“Can I paint the walls?” Nora nearly screeches.
“Of course,” Jasper says at the same time as I say, “Probably not.”
The two of us lock eyes, and he raises his shoulder in a shrug. “I don’t mind. It’s just paint. I want her to feel at home in her space.”
I nod, my throat too tight to even consider talking. How in the fuck did I get so lucky?
“Do you wanna paint yours too, Salem?” Jasper asks.
Salem’s eyes go wide, and he shakes his head. “No, that’s okay. I’m sure it’s fine like it is.”
“Okay. If you change your mind, it’s no big deal.” Slipping his hand into mine, Jasper gestures toward the bedrooms. “They’re just over here.”
One of my favorite things about Jasper’s house—that I didn’t even know I’d appreciate until this very moment—is that the main bedroom is across the house from the rest.
“Salem’s first. Then Nora’s. Bathroom’s across the hall,” Jasper says, reaching into the rooms and flipping the lights on before turning around and pushing open the door to the bathroom across the hall.
Nora bounds into her room, jumping onto her bed and sprawling out across it. “I love it!”
I couldn’t fight my smile if I tried. “I’m glad.”
Pushing open the door the rest of the way, Salem steps into his room. He stands in the center, taking it all in.
“Do you like it?” I ask.
He nods. “Doesn’t feel real.”
I exchange a look with Jasper, then drop his hand to step in after Salem. “I’ll be back. I’m gonna…” I gesture over my shoulder.
Jasper nods. “I’ll see if Nora wants a snack.”
I nod, offering him a smile. I hope he knows how much I appreciate him and everything he’s done for me. For us.
When Jasper pulls the door shut, leaving Salem and me alone, I walk up behind him and spin him around, pulling him into my arms.
He presses his face into my shoulder, inhaling a deep breath. He’s trying to regulate himself the way I taught him, but it’s not long before he’s sobbing in my arms like a small child.
When we were younger, I’d hold him just like this. When Mom and Melvin had been fighting, or when they were on a bender. Sometimes it would get so bad that I’d cover his ears with my hands and make him close his eyes, trying to get him to block out everything but me.
It worked sometimes, but others? Not so much.
His body shakes in my hold, and I run my fingers through his hair. “You’re safe now, Salem. I’ve got you.” That only seems to make him cry harder. “I’m sorry it’s been so hard, but we’re together now, and nothing is gonna take us away from each other again.”
Nodding into my shoulder, he sniffles a few times but doesn’t step back, and I don’t let him go.
I’m not sure who needs this more—me or him. My baby brother. Home with me where he belongs.
I sigh. “Are you okay?”
“It’s just a lot. I really started to think you weren’t going to come. Not because I don’t trust you. I do. It’s just…”
“I know,” I say softly. “I understand. I’d never let you down on purpose.”
Salem sniffles again, then pulls back, wiping at his face. Glancing around, he shakes his head. “Nicest house I’ve ever been in.”
I nearly laugh at that. “Me too.”
Leaning toward me, Salem lowers his voice. “And Jasper’s the real deal? You’re sure he isn’t going to leave us high and dry?”
“Positive.”
For the first time since we picked him up, Salem seems to relax some. “Do you think I could take a nap?”
“Definitely. Do you want me to bring your suitcase in here?”
He hangs his head, looking at his feet. “He shouldn’t have spent all that money. The bag they gave me was fine.”
I frown. “The bag wasn’t fine. Y’all deserve better than that.”
Salem doesn’t answer.
“Are you hungry? Want something to eat before your nap?”
He shakes his head. “No, I’m okay for now.”
Nibbling on my lip, I study him for a second.
“You know we can afford food.” He tries to hide it, but he winces.
“I’m serious, Salem. We can afford food.
You don’t have to not eat because you’re worried about money, okay?
Jasper has a fully stocked kitchen. Truly, I think he went overboard, but hey. ”
“Okay,” Salem whispers. “I’m really not hungry right now. Just tired.”
I take another look around the room. “Do you need anything?”
Shaking his head, Salem sits down on the edge of his bed. “I’m okay, Arlo.”
I watch him as he drags his fingertips over the bedspread Theo picked out. It’s nothing special—just black on top with gray underneath—but he’s looking at it like it means everything to him, and maybe it does.
Maybe this house and this room and his bed mean everything.
It’s clear that Salem is no longer the kid I had to leave behind. He’s broken and hurt and scarred in ways that he never was before. It’s probably going to take time and a lot of therapy to help him heal.
But he’s here now, and all that can be taken care of. He’ll get love now. He won’t have to be the protector. There’s nothing here that will hurt him. If anything, he has a huge group of instant family that will do anything for him.
“I love you, kid.”
Salem’s eyes dart to mine. “I love you too.”
I shoot him a grin before slowly backing up toward the door. “I’m gonna check on Nora and Jasper, but holler if you need me, okay?”
His lips quirk up a little at the edges. “Will do.”