Chapter 27
Arlo
Jasper is trying to kill me. He’s trying to break me. That has to be it. Joke’s on him. I want to be broken. As long as he’s the one doing it. As long as he’s the one who puts me all back together again.
A moan punches from me as he buries his face between the globes of my ass. He doesn’t waste time. There’s no buildup. There’s no teasing. There’s just Jasper and his insistent mouth, licking and kissing and rubbing against my hole.
I inhale sharply, trying like hell to stay quiet. It’s a losing battle. I bury my face in the pillow instead, doing what I can to muffle the sounds.
His fingers tighten, and his tongue slips inside me. I nearly jolt off the bed, the pleasure so intense that my vision whites out.
It’s great. Fucking insane and intense, and it has my toes curling, but it’s been so long. Too long. I need him inside me. His cock. I need his cock.
I open my mouth to say exactly that when he slides a finger in alongside his tongue. My body jolts, my cock throbbing. “Ungh, fuck,” I gasp.
Jasper works his finger over my prostate, circling his tongue around my hole, and it nearly sends me over the edge.
“I need you inside me,” I rasp out, my stomach tensing.
This is too much. Too much and not enough.
A second finger joins the first, his tongue not slowing as he starts pumping them in and out of me.
“Baby.” I nearly choke on the word. It’s been so long, and I’m on a hair trigger. If he keeps going, I’m gonna lose it. “Jasper,” I whine.
He presses against my prostate again, ruthless and relentless, and I gasp, tingles racing up and down my spine. “Too close,” I breathe.
It’s rare that I come this way, but if he doesn’t stop, I’m going to. I can feel it building, my balls drawing up tight to my body.
Jasper moans against my hole, and the vibration sends a shockwave through me.
He pulls his fingers out. Thank fuck. Thank fucking fuck. When he sits back, I think he’s going to stretch me fully and fuck me. At this point, I don’t even care if he stretches me more. I want the burn. I want to feel him. I want to be reminded that I’m his. That we’re in this together.
I’m starting to believe I’m more than sex. It would be impossible not to, given the path of our relationship, but I need it. Need him. Need, need, need.
“Fuck me,” I breathe. “Please, please.”
“Not yet, baby boy.” A shiver races down my spine at his tone. “Roll onto your back.”
I roll over without thinking, staring up at him. God, he’s so fucking beautiful. His hair is wild, his lips swollen and glistening with spit.
Making eye contact with him, I hook an arm under my thigh and pull my leg back, exposing myself.
Jasper holds eye contact for a second, then he drops his gaze.
“Please,” I whisper.
His eyes snap to mine, his throat bobbing heavily. “Let me finish prepping you.”
I shake my head. “I’m okay. Just go slow.”
I’m sure he’s going to tell me no, but he doesn’t. He reaches into the nightstand and pulls out a bottle of lube, pouring some into his palm with a shaking hand before stroking himself until his cock is wet with it.
Scooting closer to me, he grips the base of his cock, and the anticipation has my breath getting caught in my lungs. It’s been too long. Too fucking long. I can’t take it.
I’m about to shove him onto his back and sink onto his cock myself when he notches it against my hole.
A loud moan escapes me, and Jasper’s lips quirk up. “Shhh, baby boy.”
“God, just fuck me. I’m tired of waiting. I need you. Don’t you get it? I fucking need—”
My words cut off into nothing when he presses forward, driving his cock into me inch by inch.
The burn steals my breath, but it’s so good. So fucking good. Heaven. It’s heaven. I need more.
I hook my leg around his waist, digging my heel into his ass cheek to hurry him along. “Harder,” I whine.
“Jesus,” Jasper groans, dropping some of his weight onto me as he bottoms out. “I’m gonna have to gag you if you can’t be quiet.”
He really might have to. I’m so full. So fucking full. It’s everything. It’s perfect.
“Move,” I beg. “Please, baby.”
Jasper moans at the nickname, then pulls his hips back and slams into me. A gasp tears from my throat. This. This is what I need. Exactly this.
“More.” I urge him along with my heel, trying to get him closer. Deeper. I’m mindless, my hips shifting under his, my cock throbbing with each beat of my heart. “Make me feel it. I want to feel you.”
Tears are burning my eyes, and I don’t even know why. When one falls, Jasper slows his hard thrusts, then pulls out.
“Baby boy?”
A sob pushes past my lips. “I’m okay.”
“Hey,” Jasper whispers, cupping my jaw and forcing my eyes to meet his. “What’s wrong, baby boy?”
I shake my head, not really sure how to articulate it. I just need him. I need him so much, and I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t know what to do with the feelings inside me.
“Come here, sweetheart.”
That makes me laugh. Though it’s shaky and wet and more of a sob than anything else, I think. “You haven’t called me that in a long time.”
“No,” Jasper says, rolling off me and then gathering me in his arms. “I haven’t. Right now, you just seem like my little sweetheart. What’s going on? Talk to me.”
Shrugging, I groan in frustration. “I don’t know.”
His blue eyes meet mine, then he gives me a sad smile. “I think I can guess. It’s been a while, huh?”
I nod, my throat too tight to speak.
Doesn’t matter. Jasper doesn’t need my words. He brushes his fingers through my hair. “We’ve been pretty disconnected this way, huh? Things are different now between us.”
They are, but what does that have to do with anything?
Jasper presses a kiss to my forehead. “You want connection, baby boy. But not like this. Maybe one day. Hell, maybe even next time. But right now, I think we both need something a little slower.”
My heart thuds, longing spreading through my stomach. Brushing his nose over mine, Jasper hums. “I think we need a little tenderness to reconnect. What do you think?” he asks, carefully moving me in his arms until I’m straddling him and he can help me sink down on his cock.
I whimper at the fullness.
“Like this.” He pulls me closer until my chest is pressed against his, then he wraps his arms tightly around me.
We’re touching all over, and when he rolls his hips, his cock drags over my prostate, making me gasp.
“That’s it, baby boy. We’re in no rush. We don’t need hard and fast. We just need to reconnect. ”
I nod, my throat aching.
“So we slow it down a little,” he whispers, the words soft between us. “Yeah?”
“Okay,” I whisper back. “Yeah.”
Hand sliding up my back, Jasper cups the nape of my neck, then thrusts up into me, driving his cock deeper into me.
“Ride me, baby boy.”
I raise myself up, letting him help me with his grip around my waist. “Kiss me, please.”
As soon as his lips connect with mine, I sink down on him. His tongue comes out to swipe my lower lip as I lift again, and when I sink back down, he tangles his hand in my hair.
I lose myself. In him. In our kiss. In the way he’s holding my waist and helping me rock on his cock. In the fingers tangled in my hair and the tongue sliding against mine. In the fullness and the heat and the soft moans.
My orgasm creeps up on me, building and building and building until I’m sure each roll of my hips will be the one that sends me over the edge.
Breaking our kiss with a gasp, Jasper presses his forehead to mine. “My beautiful baby boy,” he whispers, his lips catching on mine. “I’m so lucky to have you.”
His voice is rough and almost a little shaky, and I lose myself in that too.
There’s nothing but me and Jasper.
No guilt or worry or stress. Just the man I love wrapped around me, holding me close.
“Fuck, I’m gonna—” The words don’t even make it past my lips before my body locks up and I soak the space between us.
I’m gasping, my chest heaving and my breathing ragged.
I slump forward, forcing Jasper to support all of my weight as I roll my hips, trying to drag out the pleasure as much as I can.
Jasper pumps his hips up, then stills, moaning softly against my lips as his cock jerks and pulses inside me.
Cum drips out around his cock as he works it in and out of me in quick bursts, fucking me through his orgasm and the aftershocks of my own.
A few seconds later, he blows out a deep breath, pressing soft kisses to my lips. “I love you so much, Arlo.”
“I love you so much too. Thank you for fighting for me. For saving me. For knowing what I need even when I don’t.”
He drums his fingers against my back. “I always want to give you what you need, baby boy.”
He does. He always does. He has since the very first night he brought me home. “I think what I need now is different.”
“I think so too,” he breathes.
I don’t want sex with him to be impersonal and rough. I want to feel connected and loved.
“What’s going on in your head?” Jasper asks, using his grip on my hair to tilt my head back so I’m forced to look at him.
“Something really awful and embarrassing.”
He searches my face for a second, then grins. “I’ll let you keep your secrets for now.”
I rest my head against his shoulder, his softened cock still inside me. “I don’t want to keep secrets anymore. I promised, remember?”
Jasper hums. “I do.”
“I like sex with you. I always have.” I sit back so I can make eye contact with him.
Jasper brings his hand to my face, pressing his thumb to my lower lip for a second. “Yeah?”
I nod, my throat tight. “I’m not sure I want sex between us to be… impersonal anymore.”
Jasper cocks his head, his brow furrowing. “Our sex has never been impersonal for me, baby boy.”
Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I stare into his eyes. “I think it was… For me. Not intentionally. I think I kept you at arm’s length.”
Jasper lets out a sad laugh. “I’d say you probably did.”
I nod, my throat tight. “Right, and I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to be close to you. I want you to… Fuck—” I shake my head, looking away from him. Why is this so hard to say? Why does it feel like being vulnerable with Jasper might kill me.
There’s no reason for me to think that. Not really. It’s not that I do feel that way. It’s just… Hard to admit.
Cupping my jaw, Jasper tilts my head back again.
His blue eyes roam my face, searching. For what? I’m not sure. Maybe the truths I can’t say. Would be nice if he could drag them out of me.
“I get it, baby boy,” he whispers. “You want me to make love to you.”
Hot embarrassment burns through me. How annoying. “Yes,” I croak out, darting my gaze to the side.
Jasper’s lips land on mine in a rush, his hand tightening on my jaw. I whimper against his mouth, melting into his kiss.
When he finally pulls back, my heart is pounding in my throat, and I’m breathless.
“I can do that,” he says, rubbing his nose along mine. “I promise.”
He doesn’t need to promise anything. I already know he will. He said he would, and that’s enough for me. I don’t need anything but his words. That’s how much faith I have in him. It’s terrifying and horrible, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
“Okay,” I breathe.
“We should get cleaned up and ready for bed, baby boy. The first day of school is almost upon us.”
I nod. “You’re right.”
When we’re cleaned up and dressed, much to my dismay, we climb into bed together.
As soon as we’re settled, Jasper wraps his arm around my waist and hauls me to him, holding me close. I rest my head against his chest, soothing myself with the solid beating of his heart.
Within minutes, my eyes are growing heavy, and I’m dozing off. Even so, a realization trickles through the sleepy fog. Loving Jasper Tate no longer feels like it’s going to break my heart. It feels like it’s going to be the thing to save it.