Chapter 12
JUNE
“Come on,” I urge as I twirl Akkal around by the hand the following night. “Join us.”
Zivren laughs but shakes his head.
The music coming out of the projector is the closest thing to eighties pop I’ve heard since I left Earth, and despite it being from another planet and the lyrics in another language, I’m having a blast moving my body to the beat.
Akkal is too, which is no surprise. We dance every night before bed now.
I told him it’s a good way to release the lingering energy of the day—get inside your body and out of your head—and it’s become my favorite daily routine.
Akkal waves his arms over his head as he spins, kicking his feet out in a step too fast for me to replicate. His smile is wide enough to reach his eyes. I’m growing extremely attached to this gentle little weirdo.
“Yeah, bud. Shake it,” I tell him as I attempt a spin of my own. It’s not as graceful, but at least I don’t fall.
I look over at Ziv again, who’s watching us with a delighted smirk. “What are you afraid of? It’s just us.”
He crosses his arms, body stiffening at my question. “I don’t dance. That’s all.” After a few more minutes, he scratches the back of his head, looking increasingly uncomfortable. “Time for bed, Akkal.”
“Noo,” Akkal protests. “I can’t sleep unless we dance for three full songs.” He hops in place and lands in a half-split. “June says it’s okay.”
I shrug. “It’s true. He does have my permission.
” I don’t understand why Ziv won’t just dance with us.
The blinds aren’t even open since it’s so late.
No one else would see him dancing. Is he that uncomfortable inside his body?
To the point where it’s impossible to let go even in total privacy? The thought makes me sad.
The third song ends, and I change the music station to something slower before Akkal can beg for a fourth.
Once he cleans his teeth, we sit down on either side of him on the bed as he listens to an audio story.
He prefers to fall asleep with his headphones on, so after the first story ends, we tuck him in and let him conk out the way he likes.
A week passes in a blink, then another, and the test fades from our main topic of discussion.
We feel good about it. Well, we feel okay about how we did, still in the dark about whether we got enough right to pass, and if that score determines if we even get to take the second part.
When we don’t hear from the chancellor at all, we assume the second part of the test is a given, and we should expect them at the three-month mark.
Things were awkward between me and Ziv when he kept pushing me on that question about the choice I’d take back if I could, but by the time we went to bed that night, we were so eager to put our hands all over each other we forgot about it and haven’t discussed it since.
I was telling him the truth, though. If he wanted the full story of why I came here, he asked the wrong question, and even if he’d asked the right one, I doubt I would’ve told him.
Mostly because it’s not just my story to tell, and no part of what transpired is a choice I’d take back.
I have no regrets about what happened in the castle. Not a single one.
As Akkal swings from each of our hands as the three of us walk toward the picnic in the town center, how could I regret anything? This is a beautiful day, on a beautiful island, and I’m with the two people I’ve come to care about most in the world.
Our daily routine on Ziv’s workdays has shifted a bit.
Now when he gets home, he usually finds me snoozing next to Akkal in his bed.
He turns off the light, picks me up, and carries me into our room.
We put our hands and mouths on each other until we both come a few times––his stamina is unlike anything I’ve ever seen––and we pass out in each other’s arms. We haven’t had penetrative sex yet, and I’m not sure why.
Not that I’m complaining. I’ve never been this sexually satisfied in my life.
Despite the second part of the test looming on the horizon, and the occasional run-in with Dumb and Dumber around town, Zivren and Akkal are starting to feel like family to me.
Like the three of us are becoming a single, unbreakable unit, and a future where we are together feels not only possible, but likely.
I know I’m getting ahead of myself. It’s not as if this mate bond is real, and I need to remember that.
It’s just… I haven’t felt this safe and this cared for since before I was taken, and when I look into Ziv’s eyes as we swing Akkal back and forth between us, I see my feelings reflected back at me.
One of my biggest concerns at the moment is also my pettiest. The town mean girls have set their sights on Ziv ever since he rescued that lizard from the burning building, and whenever we’re in town, they openly gawk at him like he’s Ryan Gosling standing in the middle of a Walmart.
He must notice it too. It’s impossible not to when they’re standing close enough for me to roundhouse kick, and they’re whispering and fanning themselves whenever he glances in their general direction.
They greet him with fuck-me eyes and flirtatious touches along his arms, and he acts as if it’s nothing.
Offers them a polite nod, sometimes a “hello” back, and then returns his attention to whatever we were doing before.
Maybe it wouldn’t bother me so much if I knew what was going to happen once our three months are up.
Let’s say we pass both parts of the mate test, and I get to stay on the island.
Then what? I get to remain alive, which is great, don’t get me wrong, but what happens with us?
Do I go back to being Akkal’s nanny who lives a few houses down the shore?
Will he toss me aside once he’s aware he can upgrade his arm candy as the star firefighter on the Isle of Many?
He’s given no indication he’s interested in any of those stunning jagoffs, or even knows their names, but maybe he’s just trying to sell the fake mate bond because he knows we’re being watched.
All my insecurities are stacking up like my former Tbr pile, and what really and truly terrifies me is the idea of Ziv waking up one day and realizing I’m more trouble than I’m worth, especially at my age with the random bouts of sweating, the lack of fertile eggs in my ovaries, and my occasionally dry vagina. Fuck you very much, perimenopause.
“Are you well?” Ziv asks when he finds me in the buffet line staring blankly at a bowl of what I think is some kind of noodle salad with fruit in it.
“Yup,” I quickly reply. “All good.”
Ziv spreads out the blanket we brought on a stretch of grass, and I plop down with my plate. He takes Akkal to get food and I enjoy a few moments of people watching as the park fills in with locals all around us.
I lift my plate above my head just in time for Akkal to launch himself into my lap. Ziv laughs as he joins us on the blanket, putting his plate down and holding Akkal’s for him to pick from.
“June, eat,” Akkal says, holding up a chunk of meat he pulled off a wooden stick.
It’d be so easy to decline the offer, especially given that there’s a sticky substance an entirely different color on the tips of the fingers now holding the meat to my mouth, but fuck it. I can deny him nothing.
After we finish our food, the three of us sprawl out on the blanket, basking in the sun. Akkal has his head on my stomach, and I have mine on Ziv’s thigh.
Somewhere nearby, a few blankets away, I hear a familiar voice mention Ziv’s name.
It’s the same voice that called me a murderer.
Mean Girl Number One must not see us, or maybe she does and her ego is the size of a blimp because there isn’t even a hint of awareness in her tone that we might be able to hear her.
“Can you believe a male like him is with that troll?” Mean Girl Number One asks.
A cackle follows, brittle and low. “She’s the color of milk. I don’t know how he can look at her without losing the contents of his stomach,” Mean Girl Number Two adds.
Then Mean Girl Number Three speaks up. “He’s a hero of the community, and she’s a stump who slaughtered her king. It makes no sense.”
“All right,” I say as I sit up. The guys follow suit, Akkal giving me a puzzled look, and Ziv with an expression that’s pure pity. “We should head home, don’t you think?” I look up at the sky, the sun still shining bright. “It’s getting late, and I, uh, need to wash Akkal’s clothes.”
Ziv doesn’t fight me, but he doesn’t offer support, either. Just gets to his feet and playfully runs his hand through Akkal’s wavy hair. “Yes, let us journey home.”
Once we’re there, I keep myself busy in an attempt to put the earlier comments out of my head. It doesn’t work. In fact, it feeds my insecurity until I start considering packing my bags and surrendering to the orange idiots.
Can’t get rejected if you leave first, right?
It’s a quiet dinner. I take a page from Ziv and Akkal’s book and let the silence fill the space between us. I’m sure they’re getting tired of my silly stories anyway, and would prefer to go back to how things were before I moved in.
Ziv tucks Akkal into bed and I take a shower, not because I’m sweaty or feeling dirty from the picnic, but because I need a reset, and my mind isn’t giving me one.
I jump as I open the washroom door and Ziv is leaning against the doorframe, his huge front biceps on display as he cages me in. “Are you going to explain it to me?”
I play dumb because I’m too overthinked-out to do anything else. “Explain what?”
“Why you shut down today. Why those females were able to change the way you are with me, with Akkal, after only a few insane comments.”
“I don’t know.” I throw up my hands as I sidestep him and climb into bed. “I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, and I let that shit get to me. I shouldn’t have.”