Chapter 16 #2
His hands still, the twine tangled around his fingers. “Excuse me?” He’s glaring at me now. “I seem to remember you suggesting we dissuade him from calling you that.”
“And I stand by it,” I tell him. “He shouldn’t get attached to me when there’s a possibility I’ll be taken away. What I meant,” I continue, clearing my throat, “is it was your idea to eliminate physical intimacy from this arrangement we have.”
He huffs in protest. “I tried to kiss you yesterday, and you pulled away.”
“Because I was trying to follow your rules!”
My hands are still working, but I’m no longer paying attention to what they’re doing.
Rage is creeping up my lungs at the way he’s twisting the blame.
As if I’ve enjoyed the lack of sex and cuddling.
I hate going to sleep without the warmth of his body pressed against my back, without the feel of his large hand softly caressing my stomach.
Waking up with the pillow wall still completely intact. It’s been hell.
Not to mention the loss of the little things.
The way he grunts in approval and looks at me up and down after I’ve changed into my outfit for the day.
The way he holds my hand and kisses each fingertip while his other three prepared dinner.
The way we laugh about Akkal’s silly antics while lying in bed at the end of the day.
All of that is gone, and now we’re back to being employee and employer, but with a whole lot of new baggage.
We don’t feel like us anymore, and apart from his general state of crankiness, it seemed like Ziv was fine with it. Like his life had returned to normal. The way it was before I came along. Whereas I’ve had to sneak into the bathroom after he’s fallen asleep each night to cry my fucking eyes out.
He yanks a rolled-up magazine from my hands as he grits, “You think it’s been easy for me?
Being in the same room with you and not being able to touch you?
Not being able to run my nose along your throat and enjoy the way your skin smells in the morning?
Sitting on the couch with you and not getting to rub your feet at the end of the day? ”
I grab another magazine, shake off the sand, and start rolling it like the rest, securing both ends with the putty. “Then why didn’t you say anything? At any point you could’ve pulled me aside and told me you wanted to toss the no intimacy rule, and I would’ve gladly agreed.”
His teal eyes swirl with regret. “You were already afraid of being taken back to Etirinu. I didn’t want to add to your stress.”
It’s a nice sentiment, if it wasn’t also annoying and so typically him. “So you figured bottling up your feelings and continuing to make yourself miserable was the way go? What the fuck, Ziv? Have I not earned your trust yet?”
He growls to himself as he works with the twine, tying it around the middle of the rolled-up magazine and saying nothing.
“You could’ve peeked inside my head at any point, and you know what you would’ve found? Me thinking of you. Wanting to kiss you. Wanting to hold your hand.”
He throws up his back hands. “You asked me not to read your mind! Therefore, I didn’t!”
“And you didn’t ask what I was thinking either, but if you had, I would’ve told you.”
Our chests are heaving as we sit back on our heels, glaring at each other. Tears sting my eyes, but I grit my teeth to push them back. I won’t cry here in front of Lord Forchan or Dumb and Dumber. Not now. Not if this is all we have left.
Lord Forchan wanders over. “Is your stool complete?” he asks, leaning over my shoulder.
At the same time, Ziv and I look down and gasp. Between us is what looks like a fully assembled––albeit hideous––stool, with four rolled-up magazines as the legs, the two remaining magazines as the flat surface, and twine and putty keeping the pieces together.
We were too busy bickering to realize how seamlessly we worked together. There was no discussion on how to approach this challenge. We just did it. Without words, we worked as a team and completed the task.
“Time to test it out,” Lord Forchan says with a gleam in his eye. He’s eager for us to fail, and the way he’s looking at us tells me he’s certain we will.
As we get to our feet, Ziv grabs my wrist and pulls me close. “We’ve got this, June,” he whispers, tickling my ear.
Warmth pools in my belly and the butterflies return. One touch and my body has completely forgiven him. My mind is desperate to follow, but I can’t let it. I can’t get my hopes up when in a matter of seconds, all of this could be ripped away.
Ziv sets the stool upright and pushes the legs into the sand until it’s steady. Then he offers me his hand, and I carefully step onto it.
“Right,” I reply, trying to absorb some of his confidence.
“We’ve got this.” It wobbles a bit, sending my heart into my throat.
I’m still holding his hand, and he doesn’t let go even when I settle into the middle of the stool.
There’s not much room left on the surface for even one of his feet, let alone both. “How are we supposed to…”
“Part your feet,” he instructs.
When I do, he plants his left foot between both of mine and hauls himself onto the stool.
But his weight is too much. It wobbles again, and my arms start to flail when it tips to the right.
This is the kind of activity a clumsy person like me should never even attempt, but here we are.
Before I know it, Ziv has me in his arms. His front hands are gripping my thighs as his back hands settle on the swell of my ass.
I didn’t expect this particular pose to be acceptable for this challenge, but the stool is technically holding all our weight.
Lord Forchan starts the timer in his hand, and the sharp chirp of it sends me down memory lane.
To the moment Ziv declared me his mate and everything that followed.
Of Akkal and our nightly dance routine. Of the little family I’ve built on the Isle of Many.
Happiness hits me like the wave that brought me and Ziv together, and I feel my smile grow so wide my mouth hurts.
“Hey,” I whisper, unable to resist teasing him. “How much do you want to make out with me right now?”
I feel his lips move against my hair. “June. I need you to focus. Remain still until the timer stops.”
“I am focused,” I protest with a slight roll of my hips as I cross my ankles at the small of his back.
“Stop!”
Maybe I’m losing my mind. There’s so much on the line right now, but I can’t help it.
I’m ass-over-ankles in love with this man, and the only thing I want to do right now is laugh with him.
I want to be us for the time we have left.
“Oh come on. Did you ever picture yourself having to do crazy shit like this just to prove you actually care about someone?”
He releases a heavy breath. “No. But let’s not talk about this now. Let’s finish this and we can talk later.”
“Okay, okay.” He’s right. I’m not ready to give up, and I want nothing more than to stay here with him and Akkal for the rest of my days.
A few seconds later, Ziv chuckles low against my forehead.
Hope blooms in my chest. “What?”
“You’re right. This is ridiculous.”
His chest shakes with laughter, and I join him, still tightly gripping the back of his neck and locking my thighs around his hips.
It’s nice to hear his laugh again, to be the person who can give him this moment of release in the face of the unknown.
As much as I want this seemingly endless minute to end, I also want it to go on forever.