Chapter 17
ZIVREN
Ispend the next day looking for June while also berating myself for making her leave in the first place.
I never should’ve pushed her on this. It’s a painful part of her past, and if I really trusted her, why did I need her to tell me every detail of what happened? Why couldn’t I have left it alone?
Greshenia stops by while Akkal is eating lunch to tell me June is staying at her old house.
It hasn’t been reallocated yet, so there’s no harm in her sleeping there.
I expect, at some point, she will need to retrieve her belongings, since all her clothes, underbottoms, and face colors are still here, but two days pass and she doesn’t come.
It takes every morsel of willpower to keep me from marching over to her old house and dragging her back here.
Akkal keeps asking, “Where’s tetra?” and “When’s tetra coming home?
” and it breaks my heart every time I have to tell him I don’t know.
I sink deeper into a state of self-loathing when I listen to his thoughts and hear the anguish and fear coating every single one of them.
He adores her and doesn’t understand why she’s not here.
Chancellor Uzellarin shows up the following morning, with our test results displayed inside two large black picture frames. I’m not sure why she went to this trouble when we barely passed, but it’s a nice gesture. Perhaps it’s her mating gift.
“I must ask,” I say when she has one foot out the door. “Why were you so eager to make June my mate? It felt like, I don’t know, you saw the opportunity to pair me up and were thrilled to take it.”
She puts a hand on my shoulder. “I was never a fan of your family, Zivren, and after the way they treated you, I hoped you’d find happiness one day.”
“Wait. My family?” I jerk back, confused. “You know who they are? I don’t remember telling you about them. Not even when I first arrived.”
Her face scrunches into the pitying expression that makes me want to shove my fist through the wall.
“I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you were unable to qualify as a refugee, so when your family discovered this is where you chose to settle, they paid the relevant fees to bypass the standard refugee application process.”
“They what?”
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I hoped one day you’d reconcile with them and they’d be the ones to tell you.
This should not have to come from me.” She sucks in a breath then exhales slowly.
“I saw the way you looked at June. The way she looked at you. I suppose I wanted you to find some happiness, someone you could finally trust.” She pats my shoulder, and I hear the smile in her voice as she adds, “It’s clear you’ve found that in June. Congratulations to both of you.”
The door opens with a creak and she adds, “I would appreciate it if you’d stop trying to read my thoughts. You’re not the only telepathic on the island. Just as you’d like to maintain your privacy, I would prefer the same courtesy.”
I don’t realize I’ve sunk to my knees until I hear the front door close and feel Akkal’s arms wrap around my neck from behind.
This life I built as a fresh start after being banished from my family isn’t even mine.
They paid for me to be here. A sour taste fills my mouth, and I have to race to the washroom in order to reach the toilet in time.
The contents of my stomach empty out into the porcelain bowl, and the second my insides start to settle, the scent of guatavi berries fills my lungs, reminding me of the life I could’ve had. Also, not mine.
I toss and turn that night in bed. And the next night.
And the next. I don’t go into work. I stay home with Akkal because it’s the only thing I can do.
The only thing that brings me any semblance of comfort.
But my son is just as miserable as I am, wondering where she is, and if she’s ever coming back.
I try to guard myself from his devastated thoughts, but the urge to punish myself is too great.
I let them wash over me, pushing me further into a world of darkness.
The next day, the goubil in the family room starts ringing with an incoming transmission. My heart leaps at the possibility of seeing June’s face fill an entire wall. But when I open the message, I realize it isn’t her. It’s two females I’ve never seen before.
“Ay, ay,” the one with dark skin and short magenta hair greets. “We’re trying to reach our lovely Juniper. She cared for us and our children in the castle of Etirinu. Is she at home?”
Akkal stands up and waves at the screen.
“Ay, ay, young male,” the one with the light blue curls says. “You are quite a strapping young sir. Do you know how to reach our dear Juniper?”
“June isn’t here,” I finally say, offering a small wave. “I am Zivren, her, uh, mate, but she is unavailable at this time.”
They look at each other and exchange dramatic frowns.
“That is sad to hear indeed, Zivren, but we are pleased to formally meet her mate! You are quite a lucky male. You’re aware of this, yes?”
I nod, scrubbing a hand down my face and into the unruly curls of my beard. I haven’t trimmed it since the day of the test. “I’m very aware of this. Unfortunately, I fear I’ve driven her away forever, and I don’t know what to do.”
I’m not sure what about these two cracks me open and has me going through the whole series of events that led to our fight, but I do.
They listen intently, asking me follow-up questions along the way.
It’s nice to be able to speak to others who truly know her––the human who holds my heart in her tiny hand.
When I get to the part about her not telling me the truth, and my theory that she was hiding something else, the one with the pink hair, Nacarya, I believe she said, stops me.
“She was hiding something else, Zivren.”
The other one, Rivarry, shoots me a wicked smile. “We were the ones who killed him. Not Juniper.”
“No,” Nacarya adds, shaking her head. “Juniper could never.”
“See, she found us,” Rivarry said with a self-deprecating laugh. “I still had the knife in my hand, and the king was clinging to life. He was struggling in our grasp.”
“Juniper was certain he would heal and kill us all. She didn’t want to be involved, but she didn’t want us to die.
I gave her the knife to finish the deed, but she refused.
When the king tore his arm from my grasp and reached for my throat, she sprung to assist us, stomping on his arm.
” Nacarya laughs wildly at the memory. “Then Rivarry kicked him in the face.”
“Yes,” Rivarry continues with a proud grin. “It knocked him unconscious, which made cutting his throat much easier to accomplish. How thrilling it was to watch the blood seep from his mouth!”
Nacarya looks at Rivarry lovingly, amused. “We made a real mess of things.”
“Right, but Juniper covered it up,” Rivarry notes. “She made it look like she did it. She wiped our fingerprints off the knife and tidied the scene as best she could before fleeing.”
“We had planned to escape without any violence, but when the king discovered what we were doing, he attacked us. Killing him was the only way to survive. We ran out of time to get on the same ship. Juniper said she was going to find an escape pod, and she’d never tell anyone about what happened.”
Unbelievable. I demanded she tell me the truth about a crime she never even committed, but covered up so that the real killers, who were long-time survivors of the king’s abuse, could safely escape him and persecution.
“Oh! We sent you a mating gift,” Nacarya says, gleefully. “It’s a bunch of credits. Apologies that we couldn’t wrap it.”
“Yes, and that it took so long to get it to you. Our new mate had to help us send them over a secure wire.”
“Wait, you sent us credits?” I ask. “We haven’t received anything.”
Rivarry waves a dismissive hand. “Oh, you will. Tomorrow or the following day.”
My mind is spinning with the onslaught of information. “How did you know where to send them? Or that we were mated?”
They look at each other and laugh.
“We’ve been following Juniper’s every move since we were separated,” Nacarya says, as if it should be obvious.
Rivarry nods in agreement. “Our new mate is a very skilled hacker.”
“We wanted to make sure she was okay.”
“Yes, she took such great care of us and our children. We wanted to give something back.”
They encourage me to go after her and make her understand how much she means to me. Then they beg me to say hi for them, and to set up a transmission sometime in the future so the three of them can connect.
I promise I will, and when the picture fades out, I decide to stop feeling sorry for myself. “Akkal, let’s go find your tetra.”
He cheers with his arms up in the air and leaps head-first into my gut.