17. Heather
17
HEATHER
S ix AM. It feels like it’s taken forever for this time to come around, but it’s here at long last. Dad is off to work and I can escape at last. I have a window opened a crack and I know I can just about squeeze my ass out of it. I’m getting out today no matter what because I have somewhere to go, I have a place to end up to get my answers. Even if no one is there, I can wait.
“Come on, Dad,” I mutter to myself. “Come on, get out of here. I can’t hold myself back any longer. I need to go already.”
I’m all wired. I’ve barely slept. I need him to just get the hell out of here so I can stop bouncing on my heels and move toward something positive already. I know my dad might have my best interests at heart, but I know what’s best for me. Throughout the night, I’ve come to the conclusion that I do know what’s right. I’m not my mother about to make the same mistakes. I’m not about to die at Landon’s hands. He and Max will help me to escape whatever’s going on, if I even need to anymore.
For all I know, everything could be over. It could be done for. Bill and his little gang might have forgotten all about me. I hope. I mean, that could just be a daydream. I could still have my life on the line, but I also might not have that. Who the hell knows?
Dad gets into his car, but he doesn’t drive off right away. He sits in his car and plays around on his phone for a little while longer. It seems too long for my liking. I can hardly stand it. What’s he doing that for? Is he trying to torment me? My God, the tension and anticipation are just about killing me. I nearly want to lean out and ask him what he’s doing, but I just about manage to stop myself. If I lean out, I’ll reveal that I have a way out and I really don’t need him to know I’ve discovered an escape route.
My God, that would bring the police warden out of him and he wouldn’t let me go then. I kind of imagine him taking me to work with him so he knows I can’t escape, even locking me in a cell to make sure I remain where I am all day long.
“Finally.” He pulls away, but he doesn’t drive fast. I get the feeling that he might be waiting for something to happen, which makes me nervous. I’m going to have to hold back a little and wait. I can’t be too eager because he’ll see me going. My God, I really do feel like a criminal about to go on the run. This is insane for a thirty-one-year-old woman. It’s crazy, but that’s my life.
“Right.” I think it’s time for me to get going. I can’t hold back any longer. I could wait longer to be sure that he’s really gone, but this little piece of paper with Max’s office address on it is calling out to me and I can’t ignore it. “Come on, Heather.”
I push the window open as far as it’ll go, all of a sudden much less certain that I can fit through there, but that isn’t going to be enough to stop me. I swing one leg over, followed by the other one, to shove my body out. It’s hard, and I get stuck for a little while, but I keep on fighting. I work through the pain, remembering what it was like when I had to escape the ties around my hands. That was worse than this and I just about managed to escape it. Granted, I had help then, but that’s okay. I can do this.
“Come the fuck on, Heather,” I growl at myself as I wriggle and contort my body in unexpected positions as I get out. “Yes.”
Then it’s time for me to run… or maybe not run, but walk slowly in a way that doesn’t draw any suspicion to me. I don’t need anyone spotting me. The last thing I need is someone calling the cops because I’m acting like a fucking crazy person.
“Just walk, just walk,” I whisper to myself as I step as normally as I can. “Walk, just like you’re going for a normal walk.”
I have the piece of paper clutched so tightly between my fingers that I’m worried I might sweat the words off. Not that it matters since I have the address memorized, committed to memory. I know exactly where I’m going. I even think I might well have figured out the route I’m going too because I’ve had too much time on my hands. Too much time to fill while I waited for that damn six AM to come around. My God, it felt like forever, but now I’m not sure if it came too quickly.
It’s cold, actually. I don’t notice that until I’m well away from Dad’s house and I’m also pretty content that he isn’t parked around the corner waiting for me to do just this, but as soon as I notice it, the chill races through my body and I fold my arms across my chest protectively. I need to shield myself away from the weather and the rest of the world too.
Weirdly, this feels like the first time I’ve been out in public in forever and everything has changed in that time. My whole universe has been turned upside down, and I barely know who I am and what I’m doing anymore. That’s okay, though. All I need to focus on is getting to this address. After that is really irrelevant right now. One thing at a time. One thing at a time…
Bleep, bleep. I ignore the car horn at first because I don’t have the assumption that anyone will be looking for me at this time of the morning along this road, but then it keeps on happening. Bleep, bleep. Bleep, bleep. It grows in insistence, making my heart race a little faster. Bleep, bleep. Could this be someone looking for me? If so, what the hell do they want? Bleep, bleep.
Out of sheer fear, I put my head down and pick up the pace, moving as quickly as I humanly can to get away from this car. I can’t forget that people may well be looking for me, trying to get to me some more because of Bill Ross.
Bleep, bleep. Bleep, bleep. Bleep, bleep. Fuck, I can’t stand it. Tears prick in my eyes. Bleep, bleep. Bleep, bleep.
“Heather.” It’s only when a deep male voice calls out my name that I can’t ignore it any longer. I have to admit this is for me, so without giving myself even a moment to think about it, I turn around to see who it is. “Heather, come here. I’m here for you.”
“Oh, my God, Landon.” It’s him, it’s my hero, he’s here to save me once more. Thank God. Relief absolutely floods me. I’ve been hanging on to the idea of seeing him all night long, but now I’m stunned to have him here. “What are you doing?”
I’m so excited, so thrilled, I can’t contain myself. I seriously hope that I’m not dreaming this time around. If he vanishes when I reach out to touch him, I’m going to be seriously pissed off. I’ll fucking scream my head off.
“I’ve come to get you, of course.” He almost steps out into the road to come for me, but a string of traffic comes in front of him. We’re both a little shocked as the cars don’t seem to stop coming. Where are they all coming from? How are so many people out at this time? But nothing worries me anymore because I can see Landon. I know all is okay with him. “One moment.”
Over the cars, our eyes lock, and I feel a surge of emotion racing through me. How can I not trust this man with everything inside me? How can I not love every inch of him? My God, he’s officially the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He lets out a little laugh, and I do too, but my feet bounce once more in eagerness to get to him. Why is everything holding us apart?
My keenness brings me to the edge of the sidewalk, so I’m ready to leap as soon as I can. I can almost feel his arms around me already, comforting me and making me feel safe and better all over again. I have a shudder down my spine in preparation.
“Any minute now,” I whisper with excitement to myself. “Any minute now, I can have him all over again.”
What the fuck? I honestly don’t know what’s happening, but a wind rushes past me and my feet are yanked from the ground. But it isn’t Landon who has hold of me because I can still sort of see a blurry vision of him. Now this has to be a fucking dream, goddamn it. I’ve fallen asleep while planning my escape, and I’m not going to make it out at this rate…
“Ah, shit.” I’m slammed hard on a cold, metallic floor which I quickly realize is from a van. “What the fuck?”
I don’t get a chance to see the face of whoever has done this to me, but I know enough to know it’s someone I don’t recognize. Someone I shouldn’t be in a van with. I try to scramble toward the exit, but the door slams on me too hard, too fast. Shit, this is bad, really bad. I need to get out of here and get to Landon. He’s here, he was near me, but now…
Fuck, now we’re driving away. Now we’re pulling down the road away from Landon and there is a lot of yelling from the front. Shouting from voices that I don’t know, that I don’t recognize, and that scares the living shit out of me. How has interviewing Roger Caine led to all of this? If only I hadn’t bumped in to Bill Ross, none of this would have happened.
“Landon,” I call out loudly, pathetically as tears shed down my face. “Oh, God, Landon. You were there, right there.”
How do we keep missing one another? How the hell did that happen? I can’t even wrap my head around it. I’ve spent so much time thinking that we are meant to be together, assuming that fate keeps bringing us back into one another’s lives, but maybe we’re actually being kept apart. If that wasn’t a sign, then I don’t know what is. But I love him. I love him, and I don’t want to die here. Fuck, this really could be the end for me now. This is the most danger I’ve ever been in through my whole life, and I don’t know if I’m going to get lucky to be saved another time. That might not happen for me.
I collapse on to the van floor in a heap and sob hard, not caring about the state of me as I do. What does it matter anymore? I was so close to getting out of here, so close to surviving this and getting everything that I want, but I failed.
My father is going to fucking kill me if I ever get out of this. Now I can have some empathy with my mother by thinking that I knew best just to end up failing him and his predictions. Goddamn it, his plan to keep me safely locked in his house was the right one and I stubbornly and pig-headedly ignored him. I can’t believe I’ve let history repeat itself like this.