Chapter 19
NINETEEN
H ospital waiting rooms really should be warmer. Bianca shifted on the loveseat that felt more plastic than the leather look someone had probably been aiming for. A poster announcing the visiting hours had peeled away from the striped wallpaper and now flapped under the air-conditioning vent.
Beside her, Mary grabbed Bianca’s hand and squeezed her fingers. “Tonight was supposed to have led to more happiness.”
Eddie paced behind the chair he’d only rested in for about two seconds before he’d practically tossed a tissue box from the table to his sobbing mother.
Mary swiped a tissue from the box nestled on her lap. “Joel has to make it. We’re so close to total happiness. So close to our adoption placement.”
Bianca’s free hand went to her chest. Adoption?
Eddie stopped and pivoted toward Mary. “What did you say?”
Mary released Bianca’s hand and cradled the tissue box. She adjusted one of the beads on her necklace. “On one of Joel’s last book tours, I held a woman’s baby while she spoke to Joel about finding her own happiness. The babe grabbed hold of my finger and smiled at me. That’s when my heart knew I was ready for my next step in happiness. Joel agreed that we’d be an ideal environment for child and would feel content helping another person out.”
Eddie fisted his hands. “You’re adopting a child?” With the raised pitch at the end of his sentence, it was both a statement and a question.
One of many Bianca had as well.
Mary’s smile never wavered. “A boy. I wanted to tell you that you’re going to be a big brother. Tonight was supposed to bring so much clarity.”
The soda machine in the corner blinked out of order, and that’s exactly how Bianca’s brain processed the moment. She had no real-life experience or previous scripts to draw from for any kind of guidance on the scene that was playing out before her.
Eddie’s chest heaved. “It brought clarity all right.”
Mary sniffed and nodded. “I knew it. Now Joel just has to get better so we can bring a sweet babe home who needs us. A nanny’s already lined up who’s willing to travel with us. Joel’s editing his next book, and it’s centered around happy parenting. It’s perfect timing. Which leaves zero time for a heart attack.”
Eddie lifted his chin. “No one ever has time for a heart attack. But you can’t adopt a child to help with Joel’s book promotion.”
Bianca rose and walked over to Eddie.
Mary fisted her wad of tissues. “Joel said you wouldn’t understand. We can offer so much to a child. He will want for nothing, and we’ll prove to you and everyone else that I’m a good and happy mother now because of Joel’s books.”
Eddie gripped the back of the chair in front of him. “You can’t fake life so people can see that Joel’s next book does what he proclaims. That’s not how parenting is supposed to work. I still see your selfish heart. The one that promised me monster-truck tickets and vacations and new shoes if I’d steal a box of cigarettes or stay overnight at my friend’s house while you partied or go to school when I didn’t feel well. You haven’t changed. You’re still planning to manipulate things to make yourself happy.”
Bianca placed her hand on top of Eddie’s. He tensed but didn’t move his arm.
A tear rolled down Mary’s cheek. “I’m not the same woman you used to know.”
“I hope that’s true.” Eddie shook his head. “But God knows our hearts. We can’t hide anything from Him.”
A nurse came through the door, and Mary jumped up to greet her. “Is Joel okay?”
The nurse nodded. “He’ll be up to his room in a moment if you’d like to come with me.”
Mary followed the nurse while Eddie laced his fingers through Bianca’s and led her out of the waiting room. Bianca followed his lead to the elevator and then out to his truck in the parking lot. Without a single word, he released her and hopped into his truck.
Lord, please be with Eddie’s heart.
Once he started the vehicle, Bianca locked her fingers around her seat belt to keep from reaching for Eddie’s hands, which gripped the steering wheel as if it were his life support. She was supposed to be his support system tonight. But what words would make any of this okay?
God had canceled the ball game with rain. Given Eddie the brief desire to call Mary, and at a time when Mary had been available. So what had been the point of tonight’s meeting? To have Eddie be told his mother was starting over again with another son? One she wanted instead of Eddie?
Bianca’s chest ached, and she rested her hand on Eddie’s thigh. “I’m sorry you didn’t get closure.”
Lord, how long would it take for restoration?
For Eddie. For her own family.
There had been no answers uncovered. Zero mending. No healing.
The only good had been that Eddie’s CPR compressions had provided time for the ambulance to arrive and get Joel off for emergency surgery.
Maybe it had been to simply save Joel’s life.
Eddie’s words from the night of the fire hit her. You’re far more priceless than any material stuff. If only more people realized their true worth.
What if Joel’s heart needed changing? Wouldn’t tonight’s pain be worth it?
God knows our hearts.
Eddie was right. God knew Mary’s…and Bianca’s.
No wonder Eddie didn’t want to have anything fake. He’d already lived through too much pretending from his own mother.
Bianca slipped her hand off Eddie’s thigh, but his calloused palm caught hers, and their fingers seemed to intertwine on their own. “I never should have brought you into that mess. But…thanks.”
“Anytime.” And she meant it. “I’m not pretending to care. I don’t want you to ever have to wonder anymore if you’re not worth being there for. You don’t need her approval. You only need God’s.”
The exact thing Frances had reminded Bianca of countless times. The very thing Bianca still wrestled with.
Eddie returned his grip to the steering wheel. Over the radio, a song about a broken heart echoed inside the cab until Eddie changed the station.
How many times had she wished someone would have been beside her when the world felt like it was collapsing? God had sent her Frances. She wanted to be that person for Eddie.
But would he let her?
She glanced up at the sky through the windshield, and a shooting star burst through the darkness. Just like on the night she’d had her first audition. “I know parenting must be hard, but…”
Eddie released a heavy breath. “Does tonight make you not want to have kids?”
Nathan had said he never wanted any kids, and she’d been too focused on her career. “With the right man, I want to have a family. But I hope my kids get to skip some of the emotions I had growing up.”
Eddie pushed the turn signal, and the clicking noise harmonized with the squeal of the brakes. After he finished the turn, Eddie whispered, “I want my kids to know that they are loved and not a burden. Never a means to an end.”
This man’s heart had taken such a beating. How had he become so kind?
Only because of God. “You’re not a burden, Eddie.” He’d told her that very thing not too many days ago.
She pressed her lips together to keep her tongue from speaking anything about the L-word. Because Eddie would be all too easy to love, but this was supposed to be a business deal. No feelings. No crossing lines. That’s what Frances had said about not mixing a relationship with her business partnership with Ace.
But Eddie would be worth the cost.
Bianca curled a few strands of her hair around her finger. “I never want my kids to feel like they’re an embarrassment. But I guess that’s what propelled me into acting. So I should be thankful.”
Eddie turned toward her. Concern and something else she couldn’t see in the shadows crossed his eyes before he faced the road. “Why would someone be embarrassed by you?”
Bianca scooted closer to the passenger-side door. “You don’t need to hear about my woe-is-me moments. What you’ve had to endure tonight alone is much worse.”
“Bianca.” He switched off the radio. “Sadness isn’t a competition. If you feel comfortable telling me, I could use a distraction.”
He only needed a distraction. She was starting to wish she could be more than that. “I remember my parents getting frustrated that I’d only play by myself at the park, or that I wouldn’t speak to their friends. I overheard them say how embarrassed they were that I was nothing like anyone else in my family. One day, my extroverted sister had a friend coming over. My mom made a big deal about getting a tea party ready for them, so I lied that I had two friends coming over as well. I went in my room and held pretend conversations at different pitches and created stories. I thought I’d locked my door, but my mom later came with some cookies and tea for my friends and me. She looked around and must have realized I had been doing the voices. She said that I sounded really creative, just like her, and never once mentioned my lie.”
Bianca pressed her palm over her chest. “I loved that she’d said I was like her. So I started practicing mimicking the kids on commercials and television shows. One day, my mom asked me to do one of my voices for her friends. I felt far more comfortable pretending to be someone other than my shy self, so I did, and everyone loved it. That summer, I started dressing up in different outfits and clothes to help me feel the different voices that everyone loved. I begged my mom to drive me four hours to my first audition, but I froze onstage. The only thing she said to me on the entire ride home was how I probably didn’t need to try any more acting because I wasn’t like those other kids auditioning. That night I wished on a falling star. Wished that I could change—be better, more outgoing, and become an actress.”
Eddie moved his hand to the seat between them. His pinky reached out and touched Bianca’s. “Sorry you felt you had to change to please your mom.”
She’d been changing to please people ever since—and not even for the right One, the Lord. Until recently. “My dad was not happy with my career choice, but once I made my first movie deal, my entire family seemed excited. Then my dad promised the college he had worked for that I’d do a meet and greet around Thanksgiving. Except I’d never told him I would actually make it home for the holiday. I didn’t have phone service where we had been filming. Apparently, he’d organized this huge event, but when filming got delayed, I couldn’t make it. I not only embarrassed him, but he got fired too. My sister Madeline was the one who told me. She said that she heard Dad tell Mom that he hoped I’d just miss Christmas that year too.”
Eddie hooked his pinkie around Bianca’s. “Did you go home?”
Bianca shook her head. “I’d gotten a commercial deal that required me to travel over the holidays. I thought I’d figured out how to fix the problem, so I sent money to the college. They hired Dad back, except he refused their offer. He took a job with this family-owned building company who prioritized high family morals as part of their advertisement. Which was about the time the tabloids started feeding rumors about how I’d supposedly slept my way to my next not-very-family-friendly starring role, which wasn’t true. But my dad was passed for a promotion because of it. Each time I messed up in real life—or “real” based on the paparazzi and tabloids—my family paid the cost. I promised my parents I’d help with their house payments. They’ve gotten behind recently. However, when Nathan was arrested, my accounts were frozen. I told my parents that I didn’t have the money yet, but they said don’t bother. That they couldn’t trust my apologies or my word, and that I’d only embarrass them more with my lies.”
But she was still determined to prove to them that she’d changed and would keep her word. To them and now also to Eddie.
Eddie turned onto the film set road and waved at Thad in the security box, who lifted the gate. “Your parents should have handled things differently.”
Just like his mother should have too.
Bianca dipped her chin. “They were already upset that I hadn’t married Nathan yet and was only living with him. They were right. I shouldn’t have been living like I was. Shouldn’t have done some of the movies I had. But after I did change and follow the Lord…I think they wanted more proof than my word.”
Eddie pulled into a parking spot instead of next to the sidewalk and turned off the truck.
Bianca unclicked her seat belt. “That’s why I needed this contract. To prove to them that I’ve changed for the better by doing a more family-oriented film and that I’d keep my word about helping them with their house. I’d hoped it’d be enough that it wouldn’t be too embarrassing to let me attend my sister’s wedding.”
“You’re not an embarrassment, Bianca.”
She grabbed the passenger-door handle. “That’s because you haven’t been around me long enough.”
Eddie let out a low growl, unbuckled, and reached his hand over, landing it on top of hers. The door was only cracked open wide enough for the soft glow of the dome light to highlight his heated glare. “They’re wrong, B. It didn’t take long for you to prove that you’re reliable in chaos. The fire. The baseball game. Even tonight. You held Mary’s hand in the waiting area when I could barely stand to be in the same room with her. That’s the opposite of being an embarrassment.”
Bianca shook her head. “I brought Mary to you. Tonight was partly my fault to begin with.”
He leaned closer and gently tugged her hand away from the door, resting it on her thigh. “Something you’ve already sought forgiveness for, which I’ve granted, and now it’s my job to keep no record of that wrong. Especially since you didn’t even know who you had brought to me because she hid that fact. You’re not responsible for someone else’s lies and actions.”
Bianca closed her eyes. But he still didn’t understand all that came with just being around her. “There were people recording us at the restaurant. The media will spin their own view of tonight, and then you’ll have to deal with the lies they spread.”
He ran his thumb over the top of her hand and lowered his voice. “I’m not afraid of them.”
It’d be too easy to lean her head forward, rest it against his. Draw in the strength he so willingly seemed to offer. How did he make it seem so easy not to care what the world thought?
“Though…” Another swipe of Eddie’s thumb on her skin sent a current up her arm. “The truth is that sometimes…I’m a little afraid of you.”
She popped open her eyes. Her? “You’re afraid of me?”
When she pulled her hand away, he let her go but didn’t slide over. “I’m not an actor. It’s hard for me to remember that when you’re showing compassion, it’s out of duty, not because, you know…”
She pressed her back against the seat. “You think I’m faking being kind?” The one person she’d hoped was starting to understand the real her believed she faked kindness.
Bianca pushed the door all the way open. “Thanks for bringing me back. I’ll keep your mom and Joel in my prayers. And I’m not faking that. I actually will pray for them.” She shut the door harder than necessary.
As her feet pounded the pavement, her eyes burned with unshed tears. She sought the parking lot lights and blinked up at them. Crying wasn’t an option. Someone could be recording her from somewhere.
God, You see my heart. Why doesn’t that seem like enough?
The slam of the truck door echoed behind her, and Eddie’s footsteps hit the ground. “Bianca, wait.”
She sent a wave over her shoulder. “You don’t need to walk me to the trailer. I know the way.”
His stubborn footsteps kept coming until she stopped and turned around. She opened her mouth, but Eddie spoke first.
“I forget that you have to spend time with me.” He stepped closer and slid his hands into his pockets. “I forget that your smile isn’t only for me. I know your kindness is real. I know that when you say to trust you, you mean it. You’re so much more than you show the world, but I’m afraid of you because I forget that we’re just a deal. Nothing more.”
His sigh made her want to erase the space between them. “Sometimes I forget that this relationship is actually fake, and that’s a little frightening. My heart doesn’t have much left.”
And tonight had only shown a portion of what he’d survived.
“You’re not only a deal to me.” She moved toward him until their shoes touched, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I haven’t pretended with you since the green dress. For better or worse, you’ve gotten the real Bianca.”
His smirk appeared. “I feared you might break an ankle in those shoes.”
She pressed her lips together. “I’m not that breakable.”
She couldn’t let the world see her weaknesses.
His gaze dropped to her mouth. “I preferred the you who returned to practice.”
Bianca swallowed. He preferred the regular girl versus the actress. “What if I have to be both?”
His palms cupped her cheeks. “Would Bia be on-screen and Bianca be with…me?”
Bianca met his searching eyes. “You get the real me.”
Eddie lowered his chin. “Sounds like the perfect deal.”
She rose on her toes and closed the distance between them. His lips hit hers, and she allowed herself to lean into the hero that kept accepting the real her.
Eddie slowed down the kiss and then pressed his lips to her forehead. “It’s getting late. You have an early call tomorrow. Don’t you?”
She hooked her arm around his and rested her shoulder against him as they followed the path of the sidewalk. “It just means I get to see you sooner rather than later.”
Eddie sent her his dimpled smile. As they neared the section of trees that housed the smoking section with its grouping of picnic tables, the sound of something being struck was followed by a male voice.
“Payment is your only redeemer from the Duke,” a man growled from somewhere behind the picnic table inside the darkened area of the trees.
The Duke. She remembered that name.
A groan and then a familiar male voice. “I’ll pay up. Tell him my word’s honorable.”
Bianca stopped before the curve in the sidewalk. “That sounds like Carter.”
Eddie narrowed his gaze at the trees. “Are they filming?”
Bianca squeezed her fingers on his arm. “Those aren’t lines from our script.”
She pulled out her phone and peeked into the trees. A soft glow from one of the parking lot’s dusk-to-dawn lampposts provided enough light to view Carter being held on the ground by a clean-shaven man. Blood coated Carter’s face and white shirt. The other man was dressed in black pants and a gray shirt with a flat cap pulled low over his forehead. “Eddie, Carter’s in trouble.”
Eddie stepped in front of her. “Get back inside the truck and lock the doors.”
She dialed security, but Eddie headed in the opposite direction than he’d told her to go. She grabbed Eddie by his back pocket. “You can’t go over there without a weapon.”
The hidden man rumbled out a laugh that sounded the opposite of funny. “Money’s the only thing that speaks in this business. Doesn’t matter who you are in the hierarchy.”
“Hello,” came a voice from Bianca’s phone.
She released Eddie as he yelled, “Carter!”
Bianca pressed her phone to her ear. “Thad, help! I think Carter’s being attacked. He’s by the front trees in the parking lot where the construction worker was found.”
“On my way.” Thad’s breaths came out staccato, as if he’d leaped from his security booth. “Get somewhere safe, Bia.”
If only Eddie would listen to that command himself. But he’d already sprinted through the trees. A shadow slinked back into the darkness and disappeared in between two set buildings.
Bianca poked her head around a tree. “Eddie?” she whispered.
Another groan sent her rushing forward.
Please, Lord, don’t let Eddie get hurt too.
Leaves scraped along her arms as she batted branches out of her way. Wood chips slipped into her sandals and poked into her feet. Finally, the trees parted, and two men were on the ground—Eddie squatting and Carter lying on his back.
Eddie moved his flashlight up to Carter’s bloodied face. “Anything broken? Your nose is bleeding. Let’s get you sitting if possible. Breathe through your mouth. Can you pinch your nose, or do you need me to do it?”
Carter sat and sucked in a breath as he gripped his side. “I don’t need help pinching my own nose.”
Another flashlight waved toward them, followed by heavy footsteps. “Carter!”
“We’re over here, Thad.” Bianca knelt beside Carter and pulled out a lone tissue from her purse.
Carter took the tissue and put it in his nostril. “I’m going to need about twelve hundred more of these.”
Bianca winced. “What happened?”
Carter glanced at Eddie. “I tripped.”
“Tripped?” Bianca stood to her feet. “It’s not a good night to make jokes, Carter. Who was that? We heard…how much do you owe?”
Carter narrowed his gaze at the flashlight coming at them through the tree branches. “Leave it alone, Bia. Trust me, you don’t want it to become your business.”
Eddie moved in front of her and sent a glare to Carter. “You could’ve been killed.”
Carter spat out some blood that landed close to Bianca’s sandals. “They wouldn’t have killed me. Can’t get money from a dead guy, can you?”
Why was it always about money? Bianca put her shaking hand on her hip. “How much trouble are you in with them?”
Carter sucked in a breath as he grabbed his side. “Don’t worry, it’s not as much as your ex took.”
Her stomach tightened. Nathan had been talking about money over the phone the week before he was arrested. “This has to do with Nathan?”
Carter avoided her eyes.
Bianca stepped around Eddie. “How? Wait…is this somehow a debt to him? He did this to you? Is this why he keeps trying to contact me?”
Eddie rose to his feet. “He’s still bothering you?”
Carter stuck his hand out to Eddie. “Since you always seem to be around, help me up?” Then to Bianca, “You really are as na?ve as they say you are, aren’t you? Here I thought it was an act.”
Eddie straightened without grabbing hold of Carter’s hand. “You should probably stay resting there until an ambulance arrives.”
Thad squeezed between two trees. He wiped his sleeve on his sweaty forehead. His eyes blinked wide, and he hooked his thumb over his shoulder. “Ambulance is three minutes out. Police, one.”
“Great. More police.” Carter sent a glare to Bianca. “Be ready to film tomorrow. Like the man said, money takes care of everything. And we both really need this movie to get done.”
Eddie pressed his shoulder against hers. “Thad, do you mind waiting with Carter? I’m going to make sure Bianca gets safely back with that man on the loose.”
Thad nodded, and Eddie held a branch out of her way. There was no way she wanted to even pretend to be in a relationship with Carter. He was nothing like Eddie. Nothing like the man God would want her to be with.
Eddie pulled out his phone. “I’m letting the police chief know that we’re going to wait in my truck until they need our statements. I figure that’ll be safer until we know the set is clear.”
Bianca kicked a rock along the sidewalk. “I’m tired of giving statements.”
Eddie turned and looked at her. Something must have been written on her face, because he simply opened his arms, and Bianca fell against his chest.
He traced one of his hands up her back. “It’s been a long day.”
Bianca pulled back. Eddie’s face was right before her—a place she wouldn’t mind him staying. “Eddie, I?—”
“Rice!” Office Ramble had his gun out and pointed at the ground. “Follow me to my car while the rest of my squad makes sure the set is secure.”
Eddie wrapped his arms around Bianca, and she shivered against him.
Bianca watched Office Ramble check the hidden points around them. The trashcan at the third row of parking spaces. Eddie’s truck parked in the front. “Officer, we heard parts of Carter and the attacker’s conversation. It’s something to do with the Duke.”
Officer Ramble nodded without taking his gaze off the path behind them and then opened the back of his car. “A name I’ve learned to dislike hearing.”
Bianca put her hand on the car door. “I know the jury didn’t believe my testimony about Nathan, but I’m sure he has a criminal connection. I’ve heard him mention the Duke before. And Nathan’s been trying to contact me.”
Both Eddie and Officer Ramble locked their attention on her, but it was Officer Ramble who said, “Then you might be the exact person we need to wear a wire.”