9. Zach
Iplaced Austin in the crib that night, leaning over to kiss his forehead before straightening.
“All set?” Carolyn said softly from next to me. She placed her hand on my arm.
During the trip to Castle Jewels, I’d held her hand and touched her as a fiancé would, falling easily into that role again and liking it. With her touch, was she signaling she might be ready for more between us? I hoped so.
“Yeah.” Austin’s eyes were already closed. “He’s tired today.”
“Lots of play time,” she commented before kissing our son good night and adjusting the soft blanket he slept with.
I started the soother and turned on the night-light before we crept out and went downstairs. I didn’t notice that she’d paused at the bottom of the steps, waiting for me, and I bumped into her. To steady her, my arm went around her waist as it had so many times in the past, and she looked up. Her eyes always reflected her thoughts. I liked what I saw in them at that moment.
Without overthinking it, I pulled her a bit closer, then waited to see how she’d respond. I was more than pleased with the result when her arms went around my neck and she snugged her curvy figure against me. The sultry smile on her lips was the only invitation I needed as I covered her mouth with mine. A soft moan, a sound I remembered well, came from her as I deepened the kiss, teasing the seam of her lips until she opened for me.
Her tongue slid against mine, the friction hot and wet, making me think about other ways we might come together. Sex with her had always been amazing, better than I’d known with anyone else. This kiss was a reminder of all that and something more, I decided, when she nipped my lips playfully and her hands slid to my butt.
I pushed my leg between hers, thinking her couch was a good place to test whether our chemistry was just as potent as it used to be. When I made a step toward the living room, though, she backed away, loosening her hold on me.
“You’d better go,” she said, her voice husky and cheeks flushed. I wanted to argue, but I bit my lip instead. I’d told her that we’d do this at her pace, and I tended to keep my word. Besides, there was no rush. We had all the time in the world.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I pressed one last quick kiss on her lips and let myself out the door. I’d return later to watch over the house, but in the meantime, our kiss gave me plenty to think about. I was still in love with her. That had become clear to me over the past few days.
I wanted Carolyn and Austin as my family, not just to visit or watch over from the street. I wanted to live with them and share everything. But I’d learned my lesson about assuming that she’d want the same things I did. I still couldn’t be sure that she saw a future for us together…but I was starting to get more optimistic. Hell, her kiss would be enough to have any man feel like he was on cloud nine. Hard not to be optimistic after that.
I couldn’t stop grinning as I drove home. Honestly, it was a good thing Carolyn had kicked me out when she did. I hadn’t wanted to leave…but if I’d stuck around any longer, I’d have been late for my weekly poker game. And that’s pretty bad form when you’re the host. Chance was the one who had started up the game a while back, before I came back to town, but when I returned, he immediately invited me to join in. His old house—my house now—was actually the perfect place to host, from its central location to its table that was big enough to hold everyone, to its carpets that had—to be perfectly honest—seen better days. Ray McCallister had kept up his house pretty well, even after his boys were grown and gone and he was on his own, but he hadn’t bothered updating anything in years. The worn carpets were the same ones from Chance’s childhood…which meant that a little spilled beer really wasn’t going to do them that much harm.
I arrived at the house right as another car pulled up behind me, and my grin widened when my brother Colin flashed his lights. I could see our youngest brother, Alex, in the passenger seat. It was great having the two of them home on leave—a rare chance for all of us to spend time together. We stayed in contact as much as possible, connecting in between missions over the years—but it wasn’t the same as getting to see each other any time we wanted. Now that I was settled, maybe it wouldn’t be as hard to coordinate time together. It also helped that the house was big enough for all of us.
Colin and Alex got out of their car, and the three of us met in the street, taking a few minutes to talk before going inside.
“How’s Austin?” Colin asked.
“He’s great,” I replied. When they’d arrived in town a couple of days earlier, both my brothers had gotten the chance to meet Austin at Carolyn’s house.
“Can’t believe you produced such a cute kid,” Alex teased me. “Must all be from Carolyn.”
“She’s a good mom,” I said sincerely. She was a good woman and the one I wanted in my life permanently. I’d made that decision once before about her, but I wondered now if I’d really been willing to commit to her. I’d thought other things were more important. Now I could see that nothing was. I just needed to play it right with her and Austin.
“You’ll make a good father,” Colin said, realizing my worry, “even if you’re coming to it a little late.”
“The Admiral would have been one hell of a grandpa,” Alex commented, showing a surprising streak of sentimentality. Maybe because he was the youngest, Alex had always felt like he had to be the toughest, to keep up with me and Colin and then some. But family was his big soft spot—and the Admiral had been a central part of our family.
“He was a hell of a father,” Colin agreed.
He’d instilled discipline in the three of us, brought order to our chaotic existence, and taught us that we were worth something. It hadn’t been easy. By the time we were placed with him through a program for at-risk teens, we’d committed misdemeanors, skipped school, and honed our skills at writing off anyone who told us what to do. Through a combination of tough love and a rigid schedule, the Admiral had gotten us back on track. We owed him our lives, and we all knew it.
“Still miss the old cuss,” Alex admitted.
“We all do,” Colin declared, “but he’d be proud of us.”
“I stopped down at the center,” I said, not having to clarify what I meant. The organization that had saved us still existed. We all donated money to it in the hopes that other kids would find someone like the Admiral.
“Yeah?” Alex asked.
“I plan to volunteer my time if I can, maybe mentor some kids. You guys want to join me?”
I got nods from each as headlights cut across us. Moments later, Chance stepped up to join us. “So!” he said, clapping his hands together. “You guys ready to lose? I’ve got a kid on the way who’s gonna need a college fund, you know.”
“Don’t count your college funds before they’re hatched,” Alex shot back. “You may end the night contributing to Austin’s instead. Or to my personal favorite, the ‘big sendoff’ fund to make sure Colin and I have a good time on leave.”
Chance just laughed good-naturedly. “Ah, to be young again,” he joked. “I don’t know where you whippersnappers find the energy.”
“If you figure it out, let me know,” I added. “Chasing after a toddler is exhausting,guys.”
“Probably doesn’t help that you’re getting shit sleep every night,” Colin pointed out. “You’re still in your car, watching her house, aren’t you?”
“Can’t get an invite in?” Alex goaded me again. My younger brother could be a smart-ass, but there was no one I trusted more.
“Haven’t tried.” After tonight’s kiss, though, I was getting more hopeful that it wouldn’t be long before she let me back into her house as more than a presence in Austin’s life.
“You want one of us to take a night?” Chance offered. “You could do with some real sleep.”
“No, they’re mine to keep safe.”
Identical stubborn looks appeared on all three faces.
“Not how it works,” Colin said. We’d survived our childhood because of the tight bond between us. Colin and I had protected Alex at first. By the time Alex was eight, he was as tough as us and never let us forget it. We’d needed each other to survive our dad’s abuse. Even after the Admiral took us in and life was so much better, we continued to stick together. And now there was Chance, standing shoulder to shoulder with my brothers and proving that I had even more family to count on than I’d ever expected.
“I’m okay for now.” And I was, more or less. But I knew my limits, and there was no way I’d jeopardize Carolyn or Austin by running myself too ragged. If it got to be too much, I’d let someone know. But we weren’t at that point yet.
“But while we’re on the topic,” I said, “I wanted to run some things by you guys, get your opinions.” I explained Carolyn’s suspicions to them. Different perspectives might give me some guidance, since I wasn’t sure what lead to follow next after the dead end at the rival jeweler’s.
“Could be nothing,” Alex said when I had rundown the incidents.
“Is that what you’d say if it was your girlfriend at risk?” I countered. It felt off to me, and I’d learned to trust my gut.
“What’s the IT company say?” Colin prompted.
“Still waiting to hear back on that one.” Information from the tech people might give us a direction.
“Guess you’re stuck waiting then,” Alex concluded.
“Not happy about that, since it puts me in the position of being reactive and not proactive.” Sometimes our missions in special forces were cleanups from someone else’s mess. Those were the nasty ones. Anticipating a problem and eliminating it in advance was much more effective. “I want to keep Carolyn and Austin safe.”
“I know that it can be tough,” Chance said sympathetically, “but sometimes in these situations, there’s really nothing you can do but wait. The trick is to stay sharp until then—keep your eyes open. And when trouble starts, you know where to find us.” I nodded at him, grateful for the support. A few more cars pulled up—the other guys coming for the game. We all headed inside together.
A couple hours later, I put my cards down and started making noises about wrapping things up for the night. I’d broken even on the night, and that was always a good time to quit. Besides, I needed to get back to Carolyn’s. I’d had one beer early in the night before switching to soda, so I’d be alert enough to keep my watch.
“It’s early,” one of the guys, a plumber named Nick, complained. “Not even midnight.”
“He’s got places to be,” Alex said.
“Something to do with your son?” Nick eyed me.
“In a way,” I answered. “I’ll see you guys next week.”
There was a little bit of grumbling, but by and large, the guys were understanding, shaking my hand and thanking me for hosting as I saw them all to the door. Alex and Colin volunteered to take care of cleaning up for me, so I was able to head straight over to Carolyn’s street, taking up my usual position. I’d only been there a few minutes when her front porch light flicked on and the door opened. Carolyn stood in the glow, looking straight toward me. I jumped from the car and jogged to her.
“Something wrong? Is Austin sick?” My imagination conjured up twenty possible problems.
“All’s well,” she assured me, “except you’ve been sleeping in your car for how many nights now?”
“This is six,” I admitted with a shrug. When had she become aware of my nighttime presence on her street?
“When you left earlier, I thought you were headed home for the night. Zach, you can’t keep this up.” She rubbed her hands down her arms in the cool air.
“I want to make sure you and Austin are all right.” It was the simple truth, but it was only part of the reason I wanted to be close to them.
She smiled at me then. “I told myself if you came back tonight, I’d invite you in. I know I can’t talk you out of watching over us. But you can do it more comfortably. I’ve got the spare room made up.”
“If you’re sure you don’t mind, I’d appreciate that.” At her nod, I clicked the button to lock my car before entering her house and dead-bolting the door. I pulled out my phone to send a quick text to my brothers. In case one of them swung by during the night, I didn’t want them to be worried when they didn’t see me in my car. Then I turned my attention back to Carolyn.
“You’re in the room next to Austin,” she said as I followed her up the stairs. We paused outside her room, across from Austin’s, and she surprised me by kissing my cheek. “Thanks for looking out for us. Good night.”
After she left me alone in the hall, I peeked in Austin’s room, watching the little boy’s chest rise and fall, before going to the guest room. Sleeping in a bed during the night was going to feel good, and being close to my son felt right. The only way my situation could improve was if I were holding Carolyn in her bed. Soon, I hoped.