Chapter 1 #2
“I know you love Rayne. I know you’d do anything in your power to look out for her.
To protect her. You did it when I dicked her over, and you did it when you didn’t tell her about your cancer returning.
I don’t know your history, I don’t think even Rayne knows all of it, but what I do know is that you’ve probably been treated like shit.
You love deeply, but have no idea how to express it.
Your way of expressing that to your best friend was to push her out of your life when shit got tough, for her own protection.
I understand that. I do. And to a small extent, I’m grateful, because Rayne would’ve done everything in her power to make sure you recovered.
Would’ve put everything and everyone else to the side, including me.
“But you’re also correct that I’m pissed.
You denied Rayne the chance to be there for you.
You essentially denied her love. I’ve already forgiven you, Mary.
But you’re going to have to work for Rayne’s forgiveness.
You hurt her. Bad. I’ve never seen her so devastated.
She cried the entire night after she found out about you and Truck.
About your cancer. Not because of a fucking wedding ceremony.
But because you wouldn’t let her be there for you.
That’s what she’s upset about. Whoever taught you to be so selfish should be shot.
Love freely given is the best kind of medicine out there. ”
Mary stared up at Ghost in dismay. His words slashing at her and hurting worse than the last bouts of radiation had, when her skin was already raw and burnt.
The elevator dinged and the doors opened on the third floor. Without waiting for a reply, Ghost strode out of the small box and headed down the hall.
Mary stepped out of the elevator in a daze.
He was right, of course. Every single word out of his mouth was balls-on accurate.
She had pushed Rayne away to protect her.
And her mama had taught her to be selfish.
But Mary hadn’t thought she was being selfish when she’d kept her best friend in the dark about what was going on with her.
Mary had thought she was doing the right thing.
Seriously, who would want to watch their friend die?
But the more she thought about it, and because she knew Rayne, she knew without a doubt that Ghost was right.
This wasn’t about a wedding. She’d hurt her best friend, the woman who had always been there for her, who had never asked for anything in return, who had tattooed her own body in solidarity with Mary.
Mary wanted to fall down on the floor in a heap and bawl, but she couldn’t. She had to be strong. She had to face Rayne and all the other women. Women who she knew without a doubt would’ve also stood by her side and helped her, if she’d only given them a chance.
She’d been alone for so long, and had let her mama’s cynical ravings about men and people in general override her love for her best friend.
Mary heard voices raised in excitement down the hall, and she stilled. Everyone was happy and excited. Kassie had probably had her daughter by now. Mary walking into the room would make everyone uncomfortable and uneasy. She’d ruin the happy moment.
Mary needed to fix what she’d broken, but at the moment, she had no idea how.
She wanted her best friend back. Wanted to babysit Annie and laugh at the little girl’s hilarity.
She wanted to hug Kassie and tell her how happy she was for her.
Wanted them all to be able to sit together and drink wine and laugh and gossip.
She missed her friends. Tears sprang to her eyes as she realized that every single one of them would’ve done everything they could to keep her upbeat and positive. They wouldn’t have felt sorry for her. They wouldn’t have made her feel like a burden. She’d fucked up. Big time.
Feeling as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders, Mary turned and walked down the hall toward the stairwell.
She needed to get out of there. Needed some fresh air.
She would fix things, but not now. Not when everyone was celebrating the birth of Kassie and Hollywood’s baby girl.
She’d send a present to Kassie and her baby.
The last thing she wanted to do was ruin everyone’s happy mood.
Without looking back at the joyful group in the waiting room, Mary pushed open the door to the stairwell and disappeared.
Truck stood against the wall and grinned at his friends.
Hollywood was passing out cigars as if he were a Mafia kingpin.
He even had a bubblegum one for little Annie.
Everyone was laughing and smiling and absolutely thrilled for Kassie and Hollywood.
Even Karina, Kassie’s sister, was there.
She’d arrived with Jim and Donna, Kassie’s parents.
Hollywood had come into the waiting room and told them all that Kassie was fine and that their little girl, Katherine Lauren, was perfectly healthy. That had set off another round of cheering and general happiness.
The only thing missing was Mary.
Truck had called the bank and found out she’d left fifteen minutes ago. She should’ve arrived by now. He knew Wendy had called and let her know Kassie was in the hospital and ready to give birth any minute.
He glanced at his watch and decided to wait another five minutes before heading out to look for her. Recalling how Harley had disappeared after a car accident and had almost died before being found days after her wreck had made him paranoid.
“I rode up in the elevator with her,” Ghost said softly from next to him.
Truck looked at his friend, not surprised Ghost knew why he was looking at his watch. “Was she…okay?”
Ghost nodded then pressed his lips together and sighed.
“I upset her. I didn’t mean to,” he said quickly after seeing the pissed-off look on Truck’s face.
“She was defensive and obviously expecting me to lay into her. I told her that I forgave her, but I was probably too harsh in telling her how upset Rayne has been.”
Truck sighed and ran a hand through his hair absently. He and Ghost had talked about the entire situation and they’d come to the conclusion that Mary had been protecting her friend, and that’s why she didn’t want Rayne to know about the wedding or the cancer.
“She was right behind me. But when I turned to let her enter the waiting room before me, I saw her heading for the stairwell.”
“Thanks for letting me know,” Truck told his friend. “I’m gonna head out. Will you tell Kassie congrats for me?”
“Of course. Are you okay, Truck?” Ghost asked.
Truck looked at one of his best friends, then turned to gaze at the others in the room.
Rayne was standing next to Emily with her arm around her waist. Emily was within two months of having her own baby.
Annie was running from one adult to the other, chomping on the bubble gum cigar she’d been given and smiling from ear to ear.
Beatle and Casey were standing off to the side holding hands.
Wendy was leaning back against Blade. Even Sadie and Chase were there.
Chase had his arm around Sadie’s waist in a comfortable embrace.
Truck wanted what his friends had. Wanted Mary to turn to him when she was feeling uncomfortable. Wanted her to hold his hand and look at him like his friends’ women looked at them.
But it was about time to admit that maybe that would never happen.
He’d hoped that if he gave her enough time, Mary would come around.
That she’d see how much he loved her, that he’d never let her down.
But even after everything they’d been through, she still held him at arm’s length.
They slept next to each other every night, and they’d even shared a few kisses, but she still hadn’t given him any indication that she wanted to move their relationship from the weird friend zone it was in to more.
Truck wanted more.
He deserved more.
He loved Mary. Knew he’d never find another woman who made his heart race every time he looked at her.
She was prickly and had shields at least a mile high, and Truck had hopes he could scale those walls and they’d be inseparable as a result.
But he was finally admitting to himself that maybe whatever had happened to make her so wary wasn’t something he could overcome.
“I’m okay,” Truck told Ghost.
It was obvious his friend didn’t believe him, but to his credit, Ghost didn’t say a word about it.
“Are we still headed out at the end of the week?” Truck asked.
Ghost frowned, but allowed the change in subject. “Yeah. Hollywood is staying here, but we’re headed out with the other Delta team.”
“Trigger and his crew, right?” Truck asked.
Ghost nodded.
“They’re good people. Do we have any new intel on the area?”
“Not yet. Commander Robinson is working on it. You know how he is…he refuses to send us anywhere until he’s got enough information to be sure of what we’re heading into.
Insurgents have been extremely active, and he’s not happy about the situation as it is right now. The last thing he wants is an ambush.”
Truck nodded. “Good.” He slapped Ghost on the back. “I’ll see you tomorrow at PT.”
“Yup. Later.”
“Later.”
Truck made his way through the room and gave chin lifts to his friends and hugged the women. Annie ran over to him as he was leaving. He knelt down so he could be eye to eye with the almost eight-year-old.
“You leavin?” she asked.
“Yup.”
“Where’s Mary?”
“Something came up and she couldn’t get here today.” Truck hated lying, but he wasn’t going to tell Annie what the issue was.
“I miss her. I haven’t seen her in for-EV-er. Will you tell her I learned some new signs? Frankie taught them to me and I wanted to practice with her.”
Truck blinked in surprise. He knew Annie had a little boyfriend who lived out in California, and that Frankie was deaf.
They “spoke” to each other using a special program on their tablets.
But he didn’t know Mary had been practicing sign language with the little girl.
“Of course I will. When did you last practice with her?”
“Last week,” Annie said glibly. “She installed the same program me and Frankie have on her tablet and she calls me and I show her what Frankie taught me. We’re learning together.”
Truck was speechless. He hadn’t known Mary was doing that.
Lately, it seemed as if everyone knew his wife better than he did.
“Mary told me that Frankie was lucky to have me for a girlfriend,” Annie said proudly.
“She’s right,” Truck said.
“I was sad one day because a girl in my class was making fun of me for having a boyfriend who lives so far away. She told me to tell Carrie to stuff it. That having a boyfriend who lives in a different state is tough, but not impossible. And that if I really liked Frankie, I should do whatever it took to make him feel good. And he should do the same for me. I’m gonna marry Frankie, so I want to be sure to treat him really really good. ”
Truck was flabbergasted. Mary had told Annie to do what she could to make Frankie feel good.
That was surprising. He knew Mary didn’t exactly have a good track record when it came to men, and she’d said more than once that men generally had ulterior motives when it came to relationships.
It was one of the reasons he’d been going so slow with Mary.
He didn’t want her to think he’d married her and put her on his insurance in exchange for sex.
“Well, she’s right,” Truck told Annie.
“I know,” Annie said with a shrug. “I miss her. Tell her to call me so we can practice the new signs I learned.”
“I will.”
Annie leaned forward and kissed Truck on the cheek, right over his scar. Then spun and headed back into the room to find another adult to talk to.
Truck wiped the sticky bubblegum kiss from his face with the back of his hand. He loved Annie as if she were his own. She’d never, not once, shied away from him because of the nasty scar on his face. The first time he met her, she’d put her hand on his cheek and asked if it had hurt.
Standing and walking out of the waiting room, Truck thought about Mary. He had no idea what to do. On the one hand, he loved having her in his space. Loved being able to talk to her every night, and he especially loved having her curl up against him as they slept.
But on the other hand, he needed more. He wanted to love Mary like she was meant to be loved. Wanted to make love with her, shower with her, laugh with her. He wanted to be her husband in more than just name only.
He’d thought after she got better that their relationship would morph into more. But it hadn’t.
Pressing his lips together as he waited for the elevator, Truck knew he had to make a decision. Continue on like he had in the hopes Mary would eventually come to love him back, or let her go.