Chapter 3 #3
“My mama had her breasts done so she could get men. We didn’t have enough money to eat, but somehow she conned one of her boyfriends to pay for the surgery.
She always said that men would do anything for a pair of good tits.
Guess she wasn’t wrong. When I was old enough to understand, I told her she was pathetic.
That only whores got breast implants. She smacked me and told me that I was a stupid bitch, and that if I didn’t understand by then that men only care about tits and pussy, I would never make it in the world. ”
“She was wrong,” Rayne said immediately, pulling back and putting her hands on Mary’s face. “Mare, your mom was wrong.”
Mary couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.
“I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t, Raynie.
I want Truck to love me, but I know boobs are important to men.
I don’t want to look like a ten-year-old kid when I’m naked, but at the same time, if I get implants, I feel as if that’ll make me no better than my mama. ”
“Your mother was a bitch. I’m sorry, but she was also a whore.
She used men, plain and simple. The men she dated were only with her because of what she looked like and probably because she was good at sucking cock.
But Truck isn’t like that. I think he’s proved over and over again that he’s with you because of you.
But you know what? Forget about him for a second.
This has nothing to do with him or any other guy. ”
“How can you say that?” Mary asked.
Rayne dropped her hands and pulled Mary’s head against her chest. “This is about you, Mary. How you feel. It doesn’t matter what I think.
It doesn’t matter what Truck thinks. It doesn’t even matter what your doctor thinks.
All that matters is what you think. If having the reconstruction will make you feel more comfortable or prettier, then you should do it.
If you want to stay exactly how you are right now because of women’s lib or whatever, then do that.
You can wear boob inserts in your bra, or don’t, and screw everyone who might look at you weirdly.
The Mary I know wouldn’t give a shit what anyone else thinks about her.
If you want to go and get tattoos over every inch of your chest and walk around bare-ass naked, then you should do it.
If you want to get Dolly-Parton-size implants, then do that. Fuck what everyone else thinks.”
Mary smiled. “So if I asked what you think I should do, you’d refuse to answer me, right?”
“Right,” Rayne said immediately. “I’ll love you no matter what size gazingas you have, Mary.
Flat as a board or huge as watermelons, it’ll make no difference to me.
And it’ll make no difference at all to the people who know and love you, including Truck.
The only people who will judge you are those who don’t know you…
and fuck them anyway. Their opinion doesn’t matter. ”
“Are you quoting me, bitch?” Mary asked, her words muffled because she was lying on Rayne’s chest.
“Abso-fucking-lutely. You told me that same thing when I was worried about people finding out about me and Ghost’s one-night stand.”
“You know I love you, right?” Mary asked after several minutes had gone by.
“Yup. I wouldn’t be lying in this small-ass bed if I didn’t love you right back,” Rayne retorted.
“You’ll stay?” Mary asked.
“Of course.”
“I’ll be okay in the morning.” Mary felt the need to explain. “It’s just that I’ve missed Truck so much and—”
“You don’t have to explain,” Rayne said, and tightened her hold on her friend.
“When Truck gets back, I’ll tell him again that I want a real relationship,” Mary decided. “Hopefully this time I can use the right words so he’ll truly believe me. I’m not sure how sex will go, but I’m willing to try.”
“That’s the Mary that I know and love. It’s good to have you back,” Rayne told her.
“I’m really trying to curb my bitchiness,” Mary said. “It’s not easy, but if I’ve learned anything over the last year or so it’s that life is short. And I want to try to stop being so angry and snarky all the time.”
“Just don’t lose the Mary we all know and love,” Rayne said. “I mean, I think there are times when you could use a little more tact, but we still love you exactly how you are. It’s nice to have someone who isn’t afraid to say what we’re all thinking.”
“Deal,” Mary said with a smile. “Do we have any idea when the guys will get back this time?” Mary asked.
Rayne shook her head. “Unfortunately, no.”
“I get why everything is so secret, but it still sucks,” Mary grumbled.
“Welcome to life as the wife of a Delta Force soldier,” Rayne said dryly.
Long after Rayne fell asleep, Mary remained awake.
She was more than happy to have her best friend back, but despite the way Truck had acted toward her after the robbery, he’d still maintained a distance between them at home.
It was confusing and frustrating and made her unsure about where she and Truck stood.
She was happy for Rayne’s advice about the reconstructive surgery, even if she didn’t know what her decision about that was going to be yet.
But she couldn’t help thinking the worst when it came to Truck.
She’d been awful to him. Horrible. If a man had done to her what she’d done to Truck, she’d never forgive him.
But by some miracle, Truck hadn’t given up on her…
yet. He loved her. He’d said it even that week, but Mary knew that loving someone didn’t mean things would automatically turn out well in the end.
Sighing, she resolved to apologize to Truck and show him that he hadn’t made a mistake in marrying her. To let him know that she could be more than the snarky bitch people thought she was.