13
Zephyr
Phoenix was a complication we didn’t need.
I’d tried to get her booted from the tour, but no matter how much influence I wielded, the label wouldn’t budge.
We were stuck with her.
Fuck.
I loathed her, but worse than that, I desired her. I couldn’t get the little minx out of my head. I couldn’t help myself when I mocked her as soon as I saw her standing there back on our bus.
Snide commentary was better than letting her see the truth—that she was scorching her name into my veins.
We had thrown everything at her, and she refused to bend.
And then, somewhere along the way, I had started to care about what she thought.
That alone pissed me the fuck off.
I only ever cared about what a select few thought of me, and that was the way I wanted to keep it.
I could still hear Phoenix in the storage area of the bus and was determined to keep my distance.
Even if she was a harmless Beta, I wasn’t letting her into my life.
My phone rang, cutting through my spiraling thoughts.
I grabbed my packet of cigarettes and lighter before walking off the bus to answer the call.
The conversation did little to calm me.
By the time I ended the call with my sister, I was practically vibrating with rage.
Cooped up in this fucking bus, suffocated by my own thoughts, and with nothing left to take the edge off, I felt like a caged animal.
Desperation clawed at me as I headed for my bunk, tearing through the storage shelves in search of something—anything—to dull the ache.
A hit. A drink. Hard spirits, even. Who was I kidding? Our little pet had probably done her rounds, checking every stash and keeping us clean against our will.
Frustration boiled over, and I stomped toward the shared area, yanking cupboard doors open with a vengeance.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Phoenix and Parker up front, both startled by the racket.
But my mind was too clouded by anger to care.
What a fucking piece of shit my mother was.
Why did she keep stirring up trouble with Charlotte all these years later? I thought this shit was behind us, but the memories started flooding in.
My hands balled into fists, and I couldn’t bear it any longer.
The pain and rage threatened to consume me if I didn’t let them out.
“Zephyr!”
I heard my name, but I was too far gone to distinguish who was yelling.
Lashing out, I grabbed the coffee machine and hurled it off the counter.
It flew through the air before crashing into the wall.
I heard something break, and the bus swayed with the force.
“ZEPHYR!”
They were calling louder now. I couldn’t breathe. “I need something,”
I pleaded. “Just a hit to take the edge off.”
“There is only beer,”
Phoenix said in a quiet but firm voice.
I turned my rage onto her.
The scene in front of me became clear as I focused on her.
Parker stood in front of her, and I wasn’t sure if he even realized he was protecting her, but Phoenix was having none of it.
Pushing Parker aside, she dashed in front of me, trying to reason with me.
“What’s happened? Let us help,”
she pleaded, looking up at me with those stupidly intoxicating gray eyes. Why would she, of all people, want to help me?
“YOU CAN’T!”
I screamed. “If you wanted to help, you’d get the fuck off this bus and leave me alone.”
Looking down at her feet, Phoenix let out a sad sigh.
I couldn’t stand there any longer with her.
I felt like I was bleeding out my insides and didn’t want her to see what a mess I really was.
Deep down, I knew she and my packmates could probably help me calm down, but I was too far gone to think rationally and didn’t want them to see me this vulnerable.
What a hopeless fucking Alpha.
Too weak to cope after one fucking phone call.
I didn’t want to see Phoenix’s face when she realized I was a train wreck and there was no hope for me.
With the last of my willpower and a desire not to make the situation worse, I took a six-pack of beers from the fridge and locked myself in the bathroom.
With my clothes still on, I turned the shower on and sank to the ground beneath the freezing cold stream of water.
I opened the first beer and tried to concentrate on getting my heart rate down and letting go.
I wasn’t sure how much time passed—whether minutes or seconds—before I heard the door unlocking and sliding open.
Of course, these fuckers wouldn’t leave me to spiral in this panic attack alone.
I was surprised when, instead of the heavy sound of boots I was expecting, soft footsteps approached.
I saw her bare feet first, manicured toes leading to toned, smooth legs and the hem of a black sundress.
It caught me off guard—she rarely wore anything but her professional attire, always polished and calculated, like a shield against us.
The sundress was different, softer, more casual.
She only ever wore it on days we spent most of our time cooped up on the bus.
I hated how much I preferred it, how it suited her far better than her usual buttoned-up image.
As she stepped closer, I noticed her face, pale and drawn.
She looked thinner, almost sick, like the stress of being stuck with us was finally taking its toll.
A pang of guilt rippled through me, sharp and unexpected, but I shoved it aside.
Phoenix reached forward to turn the water temperature to warm but still let it rain down on my head.
Without speaking, she knelt to my level before straddling my legs and sitting in my lap.
I was too stunned to speak.
My breaths started to slow as she leaned in, resting her small, curvy body against mine and laying her head against my heart.
A few moments passed with us just like that—breathing in and out while I tried to inhale her scent.
Like usual, she smelled like nothing, not even a hint of something like some Betas did.
My hands unconsciously slid up from the ground, skimming the skin just under the hem of her dress.
I heard her intake of breath before it evened out again.
The longer I sat there with Phoenix, water spraying down on us, the calmer I felt.
Soon, the anger was gone, and I felt at ease.
Taking my chance, I leaned forward and kissed her.
She made a surprised sound, and my lips pressed against hers, which were pillowy and soft.
She relaxed into the kiss, kissing me like it was all she’d ever thought about, with no restraint and a heavy dose of desire and longing.
“Thank you,”
I rasped out.
“We all have our demons, Zephyr,”
she said before removing herself from my lap and leaving me alone to think about what the fuck she meant by that. Maybe Phoenix wasn’t the perfect princess we’d all pegged her for.
◆◆◆
I stepped out of the bathroom, the cool air of the bus hitting me with an odd sense of relief.
Phoenix had already left, or at least that’s what I hoped.
I saw her heading out the door, muttering something about going on a run.
It was clear she wasn’t dressed for it—no workout gear, just her usual professional garb.
Parker gave her a strange look, then turned his gaze toward me, raising an eyebrow.
I could tell he didn’t want to talk about what had happened in the bathroom, but his expression spoke volumes. We might have been too hard on her.
I sighed and sank into the couch, feeling the weight of the day pressing down on me.
Parker joined me shortly, his silence mirroring my own.
We sat there for a while, each lost in our thoughts.
It was Kage who eventually broke the silence, plopping down beside us with his usual casual swagger.
“Did you see Phoenix leaving?”
he asked, grabbing a remote and flipping through the channels.
“Yeah,”
I replied, rubbing my temples. “She seemed sick. I’m starting to think we might’ve pushed her too far.”
Kage’s brow furrowed slightly. “Pushed her too far? You mean you’re starting to feel guilty about the way we’ve been treating her?”
I shrugged. “Yeah. Maybe we should back off a bit. Make her life a little less difficult. I mean, she’s not the worst we’ve had. If anything, she’s the least annoying.”
Parker looked up, a hint of surprise in his eyes. “Coming from you? That’s saying something.”
Kage chuckled, leaning back on the couch. “She does have this… cute business skirt thing going on. Not that it matters.”
It was becoming increasingly clear that my packmates and I were not going to be able to stick to our original plan with Phoenix.
The words Kage had used to convince us to get rid of her made my stomach twist in protest.
“We just need to put the pressure on. A tiny little thing like her. Do you really think she’ll be able to put up with us being assholes? We don’t need a minder, and fuck the label for sticking us with a prissy little Goody Two-shoes. She’ll be gone in a month, tops.”
It seemed like a simple plan: make the little Beta feel our hatred toward her presence on our bus, and we would be free of her “supervision”
in no time. At first, I thought it was working; I could see Phoenix reacting to our harsh words.
Somewhere along the way, though, I started hating myself every time cruel words spilled from my mouth.
Then I realized that Kage and Parker had similar reactions whenever her eyes turned sad at one of our barbs.
Someone who didn’t know them wouldn’t recognize their remorse every time they put her down, but I knew my packmates’ expressions better than my own.
It seemed I wasn’t the only one starting to enjoy having the Beta on the bus with us.
None of us had admitted it out loud, especially after we had agreed to get her off the bus, but we were starting to get attached.
I looked at my packmates more closely. “I’m talking about us being less of an ass to her. She’s here to do a job, and we’ve made it harder than it needs to be. If we can’t treat her like a person, then maybe we should rethink how we’re handling this.”
Parker nodded thoughtfully. “Alright, so we dial it back. Be a bit more respectful and stop treating her like a second-class citizen.”
Kage seemed to consider this for a moment, then nodded. “Fine by me. I don’t see the harm in at least trying to be nicer.”
I could feel the tension easing slightly as we made this decision.
It was a start.
I didn’t want to admit it out loud, but there was something about Phoenix that intrigued me.
I noticed how she seemed to hide her pain behind that professional facade of hers, and it made me wonder what she was really dealing with.
There was a part of me that wanted to get to know her better, to see if there was more to her than the defensive attitude she always wore like armor.
Parker sighed, leaning back against the couch. “Maybe if we stop being such dicks, she might let her guard down a bit. Might even be able to get to know the real her.”
Kage grinned. “Maybe. And who knows? She might surprise us. She’s got some hidden depths, I bet.”
I nodded in agreement, though I kept my thoughts to myself.
I refused to acknowledge out loud the growing attraction I felt toward her.
I couldn’t afford to let my feelings complicate things further.
Still, it was hard to ignore how Phoenix seemed to be more than just a professional annoyance. If she wasn’t constantly on the defensive, maybe she wouldn’t be so bad to have around.
I glanced at Kage, who was already fiddling with the TV remote, and then at Parker, who was casually lounging on the couch.
They seemed to share my sentiment.
We all knew we’d been harsh with her, and it was time to change that.
I could see the secrets and pain swirling in her gray eyes, and I wanted nothing more than to draw them out from their hiding place.
We definitely needed a fresh start, and I was determined to start earning it.
Kage voiced my thoughts when he muttered, “Not that she should forgive our dumb asses.”
As we settled into a more relaxed atmosphere, I couldn’t help but think about Phoenix’s reaction to our change in attitude.
Maybe she’d be willing to drop her guard a little.
Maybe she’d let us see the person behind the polished exterior.
For now, though, I was just relieved we’d made a decision to do better by her.
It was a small step, but it was a step in the right direction.
I hoped it would be enough to make a difference, and maybe, just maybe, we’d find that Phoenix wasn’t as bad as we’d initially thought.