Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
It would have taken five minutes to walk to the Grasmere Gingerbread Shop, which sat prettily on the far side of the deserted village green, but the rain and the amount of gear (all this for a photo of Madison eating gingerbread?) meant they took the van.
As the team quickly discovered, only three or four people could fit into the tiny shop at once.
Ashley led the way, bringing Madison and Guy forward.
Rosie craned her neck to see over Ashley’s shoulder, as behind her the others squeezed into the small passageway that led from the garden to the shop.
Slabs of gingerbread wrapped in waxy blue-and-white paper were stacked on the counter, and individual biscuits sat beneath glass domes.
There were silver-and-blue tins of all sizes, jars of ginger hand balm and ginger candles, and on the shelves behind the counter, ginger wine and ginger-themed gifts.
Rosie was reminded of a story she’d loved as a child, of a magic treacle jug that went out of control and covered everything in golden syrup.
And there behind the counter was the owner of the treacle jug come to life – Mother Tick Tock, in a striped Victorian dress and frilly white apron, topped off with a cotton mop cap.
The woman exchanged a few words with Ashley and Guy, Jono set up his lighting and Madison was soon posing, her famous lips wrapped around a slab of gingerbread.
Rosie took some photos of the shop for her piece, imagining how those pretty tins would eventually be used to stash random objects.
Where’s the safety pins, love?
In the gingerbread tin!
‘Can we round up a couple of locals?’ asked Guy. ‘Good for the socials – they can look hyped at who’s serving behind the counter?’
‘I can do that,’ called Lucas from the passageway.
‘And can we get Mads in the Victorian gear?’ Guy asked Ashley.
After a conference with the shopkeeper, Madison went into the back to change, reappearing in a stripy blue dress, white frilly apron and mop cap.
‘I look fuckin’ stupid,’ she said.
This was true. The stiff cotton of the dress made her voluptuous curves look ridiculous, and the hat was like an oversized shower cap. But the strangest part was the juxtaposition of the old-fashioned outfit with a face that could only have been created in the 21st century.
Guy shook his head. ‘Let’s lose the cap and the dress; just have her in the apron.’ Rosie noted the ‘her’, not ‘you’. Madison disappeared again, followed by Kayleigh.
‘Customers!’ announced Lucas, ushering two young men in walking gear into the shop. Jono briefed them as to where to stand and how to act for the camera.
Madison emerged wearing only the floor-length frilly apron, tied at the back with a big bow, and a pair of briefs.
‘Now we’re talking,’ said Guy, as the customers’ eyes widened and Jono got to work.
Luckily, because Madison was behind the counter, the look wasn’t too outrageous, but as she leaned forward to point to a gingerbread man, giving the camera an eyeful of cleavage, Rosie felt uncomfortable.
Wasn’t this all a bit 1970s? The two lads were delighted to be helping out, however. Has anything really changed?
Mother Tick Tock reappeared. ‘Sorry, she said, ‘I’m going to have to ask you all to leave as soon as you can. Word’s out Madison’s here and there’s a traffic jam as far back as the main road.’
‘Someone needs to get a photo of that traffic jam,’ said Madison.
‘I’ll go,’ said Lucas.
‘Yep, we can wrap it up, I’ve got enough,’ said Jono.
‘Let’s do a meet and greet outside,’ said Veronica. ‘It’ll make a nice reel.’
Madison went off to change, and Guy and Kayleigh followed Lucas outside.
‘While I’ve got you two,’ said Veronica to Rosie and Ashley, ‘a word about tomorrow – the outdoor shoot in the afternoon?’
‘The forecast’s good,’ said Ashley, crossing himself. ‘You might be okay. And we would like to promote the mindfulness through nature aspect of the wellness weekend.’
‘The outdoor gear shop just along from here will kit Madison out with a pair of walking boots in return for a mention,’ said Veronica.
‘Hill and Dale?’ said Ashley. ‘Excellent – they know their stuff.’
Veronica looked at Rosie, who nodded. ‘Can do.’
‘And I’ve researched the location.’ Veronica scrolled through her phone and held up a photo. ‘I thought here. It’s a well-known Instagram spot – one of the most photographed views in the Lakes.’
Ashley looked dubious. ‘Loughrigg Fell? It’s not high, but there’s a steep slope; quite rocky.
It’d be a challenge for your photographer to get his gear up there.
’ His eyes went to Rosie. ‘And maybe tricky in parts for anyone not used to hill-walking. I know another spot on the lake with a nice view?’
Veronica’s expression turned sour. ‘I don’t think so. I want Madison up a hill; I want people to understand that Vybe’s gear isn’t just for yummy mummy gym bunnies.’
I’m using that.
‘Jono’ll be fine,’ she said. ‘Just camera, tripod and drone. And I looked the walk up on a hiking website – they called it “moderate” and said it’s an hour and a half round trip. Easy.’
Ashley still didn’t look convinced.
‘Look – this is an important new direction for us,’ said Veronica. ‘I need to get our outdoor gear out there. I want Madison up high – I want people to know our clothes are the real deal.’
‘It’s a competitive market,’ said Ashley. ‘There’s three mountain gear shops in this village alone.’
‘That’s as maybe, but ours isn’t boring black, or dark green, or kill-me-now grey. It’s colourful and bright and just as well-made, if not better. Message being, why should good-quality outdoor clothing be dull as fuck?’
‘Also easier to spot if you get lost, I suppose,’ said Ashley, sounding a little more positive.
‘So let’s stop wasting time and get her to the shop so she can be fitted with boots.’
‘What about the others?’ asked Rosie. ‘Will everyone be climbing up there?’
‘Just Jono and you,’ said Veronica. ‘There are limits to my devotion to the brand. Kayleigh will do hair and make-up before you leave; Madison’s good at touching up as necessary, and Jono knows what I want.’
‘So,’ said Rosie to Ashley. ‘I’m to get the full Lake District experience after all!’
‘Yes – it’s lovely up on Loughrigg,’ he said. ‘And there’s an interesting cave on the way down – an old slate mine. You could get some good pics in there.’
‘We’ll go get your boots as soon as we’ve shaken off the gawpers,’ said Veronica. ‘The shop owner’s pretty excited to meet Madison.’
‘Which one?’ said Ashley. ‘There are two.’
Veronica at last cracked a smile. ‘The one who looks like Timothée Chalamet.’
Madison emerged, back in her lime-green activewear, her lips re-outlined in beige. ‘Who looks like Timothée Chalamet?’
‘The guy who’s about to fit you with a pair of boots for tomorrow’s shoot,’ said Veronica. ‘We’re going up a little hill with an awesome view that’s famous on Instagram. You on the top, your arms in the air. A sweeping fly past with the drone as you take your final steps to the summit.’
Madison was looking mutinous. ‘How high are we talking?’
‘A thousand feet,’ said Ashley, glancing at Veronica. ‘Or so.’
‘A thousand?’ said Rosie.
‘Minus the two or three hundred we’re already at,’ he added. ‘Seriously, Rosie, remember our conversation in the van?’ He smiled. ‘If the weather’s fine, you’re going to love it. You can keep your massages and your yoga – see what a day on the fells does for your wellness. For your soul.’
‘A day?’ said Veronica. ‘My research said ninety minutes round trip. We have lots to shoot indoors in the morning – yoga, the sand bath …’
‘Should be fine,’ said Ashley. ‘I can drive you to the start, pick you up after. And it doesn’t get dark until gone nine now. Your biggest problem is likely to be the zillion other walkers up there on a fine Sunday afternoon.’
Outside the gingerbread shop, chaos reigned. A panicked police officer was pleading with people to stay on the pavement while attempting to direct the traffic.
‘Madison’s on her way,’ called Guy to the crowd. ‘She’ll pose for a few selfies, but I’d ask you all not to push.’
‘We should’ve been informed–’ began the officer, but the rest of his words were lost as Madison appeared from the shop and a forest of phones rose to snap the star, everyone shouting her name.
Lucas was filming the people filming Madison, the star pouted and posed, while Veronica hollered into her phone.
Things were getting wild; the police officer was barely keeping control.
Rosie lost sight of Madison in the crowd of jostling fans, and wondered how many people it took to make a ‘crush’.
‘That’s enough,’ barked Veronica, pocketing her phone.
She marched forward and somehow managed to extract Madison.
‘Pick us up from the boot shop in half an hour!’ she yelled to Ashley.
Cocking her head at Rosie, she dragged Madison along the pavement towards a shop a few doors down where a man had appeared in the doorway, waving at her.
Hill and Dale, Outdoor Gear, said the lettering above the frontage.
Madison and Veronica, followed by Rosie, sprinted to the shop and lunged through the doorway, the crowd in hot pursuit. The man quickly locked the door, shutting out the clamour, and flipped a sign to Closed.
He turned to them with a wide smile. ‘Well hello, ladies, and welcome to Hill and Dale,’ he said. ‘I’m the Dale part.’