1. Adrian
“It’s been three months, Adrian, do you honestly think you’ll ever see this woman again?” my sister, Valentina, asks as I grab my suitcase and place it on my bed. Her eyes, twins of mine, watch me carefully, almost like I’m a wild animal she decided to bring into the house.
“I fucking hope so. The woman has been stuck in my head for months, and no matter what I do, she isn’t unsticking herself. So, I have to see her again because it’s the only thing that’ll hopefully get rid of these—” I cut off and shudder.
Feelings.
That’s what I meant to say, but whenever I remember what they are, my whole body cringes. I just need to see this mysterious woman one more time to get rid of this ridiculous notion I have that she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
That’s all.
Gabriel, my sister’s fiancé and my teammate and rival for the second year in a row, grins at me from where he is sitting on the bed with my sister. One of his hands rests possessively on top of hers because he always needs to touch her in some way when they’re together. It’s absolutely disgusting, and not just because Val is my sister. They’re just so in love, and I don’t get it. I don’t get the appeal of tying yourself to someone and risking your happiness over them. Because I’ve seen it happen. I’ve seen the way Gabriel fell apart when Valentina and him were broken up. I watched my sister fight the grief of losing the love of her life, or whatever the fuck she calls him.
It’s so unappealing to me.
“What the fuck is so amusing?” I ask Gabriel, but he merely shrugs. Chase, our family dog, jumps off the bed to sit at my feet, demanding attention.
“You are. Watching you struggle with the concept of wanting to be in a relationship because of your stubbornness is my favorite entertainment,” he replies and I raise my pinky.
It’s always been James’, my best friend, and my way of saying fuck you without using the middle finger, especially when we were kids. It started because I accidentally broke his pinky when we were karting, and I made fun of the fact that he couldn’t move his finger for two weeks when it was in a cast. He flipped me off with it every chance he got, and it kind of stuck.
“I don’t want to be in a relationship. They are pointless. You open yourself up to your partner, fall in love, and then it ends. I know how the story goes every single time,” I say, shuddering at the thought of how my mother ran from my father and her children. Abandoning us. Disappearing like we never meant a fucking thing.
“Not everyone is Mom, you know?” Valentina reminds me, but I just shrug it off, unwilling to let my emotions on the subject show.
“Or Gabriel, I guess,” I tease, and my teammate shoots daggers at me while I grin at him. “Too soon?”
It’s been months of them happily being engaged and living together after Gabriel left to fix the mess he was in, but Valentina still gets up to nudge her elbow into my side, hard. I fling my arm around her shoulders and press a kiss to the top of her head while breathing through the discomfort of her blow.
Serves me right for attacking her man.
“Lash out all you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that something is special about this woman, and if you see her again, I suggest you talk to her without the intention of taking her home and getting her out of your system, or whatever you call it,” Valentina says, giving me a pointed look.
A smile breaks out across my face at her words.
“Do you expect so little of me when it comes to dealing with my feelings?” I challenge, even if the last word makes my skin crawl, and she steps away from me.
My sister rolls her eyes before Gabriel and her respond, “Yes,” at the same time.
They grin at each other while I step into my closet to gather my clothes for the trip to London. The second one in three months. We’re not flying there for another few days, but Gabriel, Val, and I have to be in Italy for meetings tomorrow. That means I have to get all my shit ready days in advance.
The image of the mysterious woman slips back into my mind as I look through which clothes to take on my trip. I wonder what she might be up to. What cars she’s photographing right now, or if she’s taking photos of something else. She’s an incredible photographer from what I saw last time. The way she played with angles and lighting was mind-blowing. I could have stared at the pictures all day if she wasn’t so fucking beautiful, it made my chest constrict as I looked at her. Not to mention, there was something fiery about her too. She blushed perfectly when I complimented her, but my charm didn’t make her like me, not like it does with most people. I mean, it helped me win over the grumpiest man in the world of Formula One, Leonard Tick, and he’s one of my best friends now. But with her? Nothing. She didn’t even know who the hell I was, and that was the most refreshing of all.
Maybe that’s why I can’t stop thinking about her.
Maybe that’s why I’m hoping to run into her again.
Maybe I’ve just lost all sense of who the fuck I am because I don’t get emotionally involved with people I want to have sex with.
“I love you,” I hear Gabriel whisper to Val, who giggles a little before telling him she loves him the same.
Something in my chest dislodges as I listen to their conversation, to their declaration of love. I don’t want a relationship, I never have, but I can’t pretend that the idea of loving someone as much as my sister loves her fiancé isn’t a little appealing, after all. Don’t get me wrong. It’s as appealing as jumping out of a crashing plane with a fifty percent chance of having a parachute, but there is something I can’t ignore anymore.
I shudder again before going back to packing and ignoring the direction my thoughts have gone for the hundredth time since I came across her in England.