42. Nevaeh
Reckless, foolish, and stupid.
I know I’m being all of those things, telling Adrian I’d like him to take me home later, but I’m done.
I’m done pretending he’s not the one I want when seeing him in that tux, wearing an expression of pure, unfiltered joy and lust made me feel wanted in a way I never have before.
I’m done pretending because there is no one like Adrian Romana, no person who’ll ever treat me like I’m so much more than just good enough. Like I’m the very reason he breathes.
I’ve been with men and women, but none of them could ever compare to him.
There are a million things we have to figure out, whether or not he really wants a relationship, and if yes, can we keep this a secret until my job no longer prohibits us from being together? It won’t be easy, but I don’t care anymore. No good thing is ever easily accomplished, but they’re so much sweeter when you have them.
Adrian is my moon, in complete control of the feelings I have for him, and there’s no fighting his gravitational pull anymore.
“Nevaeh! You look beautiful,” Cameron Kion says as I approach, and I grin at him.
“You all look very handsome tonight,” I compliment him, James, and Leonard, who thank me before smiling at the same time. The synchronization makes me smile. Well, all of them but Leonard. He gives me a polite nod, as unhappy to be here as I would imagine a loving man to be when his wife and daughter are thousands of kilometers away from him.
We fall into a casual conversation, and I ask them some questions for my article, which they happily answer. I leave them shortly after and notice an area being cleared for dancing. Music fills the room as a hand grabs mine and guides me against Lincoln’s chest.
“Lincoln, what the hell are you doing?” I ask, a little uncomfortable that he’s touching me. We haven’t spoken in person in a long, long time. Now that I live in Monaco, I was hoping I’d see him even less.
He sways me to the music for a moment, not a single word coming from him.
“I’m getting very uncomfortable, Linc,” I say, attempting to step out of his hold, but his grip tightens.
“Please, stay for a moment. I want to apologize,” he says, but I push against him again. He doesn’t let me go.
“I don’t want to hear your apology. You were right when you said I didn’t want to hear it all those months ago. I didn’t. I still don’t. You’ve hurt me too many times in the past, have staked a claim on me when I have not and never will be yours, and then we stopped speaking. It should stay that way.” He frowns at me, and his hands hold on even tighter, his fingers digging into my hips.
“So, you admit to being stubborn, and yet it’s still my fault? Do you see the problem, Nevaeh? It’s you. It was never me, and that isn’t fair.” Anger makes my cheeks heat and my heart race.
“We’re only here because you made a mistake four years ago that you can’t accept, the one that broke something between us I’ll never be able to fix.” Lincoln shakes his head with an angry look.
“You don’t even want to try!” he says, and I tug on the grip he has on me once more.
“You’re right, I don’t. Lincoln, you used to be everything to me. You were my best friend, the guy I fell in love with when I was a teenager. We were inseparable, but after we fell apart, I fell out of love. We drifted away from each other because you broke my trust when you stomped on the pieces of my broken heart. I’d just lost my dream and then I lost my best friend and first love in the same breath. That can’t be fixed. I don’t want it to be fixed. I want to move on with my life and leave us in the past, where we belong,” I explain, stopping my movements, but he still doesn’t release me.
“How could you be so selfish?” I’m so sick and tired of people throwing this at me whenever I make choices that will heal me, that can make me happy.
“Lincoln, let go of me. I’m done with this conversation,” I say, but he doesn’t. He holds tighter. Trying not to make a scene, I resist the urge to knee him somewhere very private.
“You heard her. Get your hands off before I remove them, and you don’t want to find out all of the career-ending ways I’m imagining doing so right now,” Adrian says as he walks up to us, placing a hand on my shoulder.
Once Lincoln releases me, the Monegasque pulls me behind him, shielding me.
“Touch her again, and I’ll destroy your career. I’ll go to Robert Fuchs and tell him how you treat his daughter to get you kicked off the team. I’ll go to the media and tell them when a woman asks you to let go, you hold on tighter. I’ll tell them all the truths until you’re nothing. Until you’re done in the world of Formula One. Do you understand me?” Adrian asks, anger tensing his shoulders.
“You think you’re so high and fucking mighty when you have no idea what you’re talking about. Get out of my way. Nevaeh and I aren’t done talking.”
This whole conversation is making me nauseous. The prospect of a fight breaking out makes me feel physically ill, and that’s all Lincoln has been doing. Picking fights with me, making me miserable. He’s toxic, and I don’t want him in my life anymore.
“Are you done talking to him, mon ange?” Adrian asks as he turns to me.
“I’ve been done since he dragged me onto the dance floor,” I reply, wrapping my arms around myself and taking a step back.
“There’s your fucking answer, rookie. I suggest you don’t come near her again.” A hand slips into mine, and I look over my shoulder to see Valentina by my side, Gabriel beside her. Leonard, Cameron, and James have joined them as well, making sure this situation doesn’t get out of hand.
Lincoln takes a step forward, closing the distance between himself and Adrian. I spot Leonard walking toward them now, scowling and looking ready to murder someone.
“Take another step, and you won’t be dealing with Adrian, you’ll be dealing with me,” the World Champion says, moving to stand between Adrian and Lincoln. “And trust me, I”m a far worse option than the sunshine boy behind me.”
Lincoln lets out a huff, anger turning his face red. Without another word, he storms off, away from the dance floor.
Cameron spins Valentina into a dance right after, and I find myself in Adrian’s arms, swaying to the music. My heart is still racing, and he seems to take notice because he traces his usual infinity figure on my back to soothe me.
“I have to go finish my interviews,” I say, but I don’t step out of Adrian’s arms yet, and he doesn’t push me away either. If anything, sensing I need a bit of comfort, he guides me closer as we slow-dance to the music.
“I know,” he replies, keeping a respectful distance between our lips when I want nothing more than to kiss him. To thank him for helping me avoid this fight I didn’t want to have. “I just want to hold you for one more minute, make sure you’re okay. Then, I’ll let go, okay?” he asks, and I nod several times.
Neither one of us speaks as we continue swaying, listening to the music as he presses his cheek to my forehead and I close my eyes.
“I meant what I said. I want to go to your apartment with you. I want to spend the night together,” I blurt out quietly, but by the way his body tenses a little, I know he heard me.
“There’s nothing I want more.” My heart flutters from his words.
“My boss won’t like it, so we can’t tell anyone,” I say, stepping out of his arms to bring some distance between us. A few people to our left were giving us strange looks, so space it is.
“I don’t need to parade us around, Nevaeh. If you want me the way I want you, I’m all in. In any way this will work,” he replies, shoving his hands into his pockets. I want to do the same because not being able to touch him while he tells me he wants a relationship, probably for the first time in his life, is torture.
“I want that, too,” I whisper, and the brightest of grins spreads across his face.
“Then we”ll sneak out of here. Gabriel will show you the back exit, and I’ll meet you there with my car in half an hour,” he says, taking a step toward me to add, “I want you to do something for me when we’re in the car.”
His voice is low and full of a delicious promise, making more goosebumps spread over my skin.
“Anything,” I reply before my brain even processes the word.
“Spread your legs for me so I can slip my hand into your panties and make you feel good, okay?” the Monegasque says, and I nod slowly, words vanish from my brain.
He steps around me and toward where they’re taking donations without another word.