54. Nevaeh
Adrian needs to win today.
If he doesn’t, I have a feeling he’s going to struggle the rest of the season because of what Lincoln said. The urge to go to my ex-best friend and hit him over the head with my laptop becomes more appealing the longer I smack my fingers across my keyboard to write Leonard’s article. I’m so angry, I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.
All this pent-up energy eventually leads to me standing up and pacing around the room. The drivers are about to take their formation lap, and my anxiety skyrockets as I watch Adrian lead the rest of the pack around the track, warming up his tires and charging his battery. I find myself walking out of the private room I was in and toward where Quinn, Leonard’s performance coach, is standing. She hands me a pair of headphones, and I slip them on, my eyes finding the same screen she’s watching like a hawk.
“This never gets easier for me either,” she says and squeezes my arm. I doubt this isn’t nerve-racking for any fan of the sport. Add one of the drivers being my boyfriend to the mix and my anxiety, and I’m standing there with shaky legs and shallow breathing.
I rub the blue heart charm on my bracelet, taking several deep breaths right as Adrian moves back into the first place position behind the starting line.
The lights turn on one by one.
I hold my breath.
Engines roar.
Leonard’s garage goes silent.
Everyone and everything seems to stop moving.
Anticipation tenses my muscles.
As soon as the lights go out, all the cars start rolling. Adrian gets away well, but Lincoln has a better start and overtakes him in the first corner. My heart sinks at the sight and shoots back into my chest when Adrian slips beside him in the next corner, overtaking Lincoln to get back into first place. Their tires almost touch. Lincoln’s front wing grazes Adrian’s.
My hand covers my mouth as I watch Adrian push ahead, reclaiming first place. His team radio blasts through my headphones a second later.
“Fuck! Do I have damage?” Adrian asks, breathless and frustrated.
I hold my breath as I wait for an answer.
It seems like the whole world does, too.
“No damage. Keep going, you’re good,” Chloe says, causing the breath to release out of me in a silent whoosh. “Lincoln’s got damage though,” she adds the same moment Lincoln slows down, Gabriel shooting past him, Val right behind her fiancé.
Chaos follows moments later.
The Carousel drivers crash into each other, almost taking out Cameron in the process, so the safety car comes out for the fourth time this season. Lincoln changes his front wing, ending up in twelfth, which is only thanks to the other drivers having to decrease their speed.
Adrian stays in first, Gabriel and Val behind him. James is in fourth now, with Leonard and Cameron following. Both drivers involved in the crash make it out and seem okay, but it takes the marshals a long time to clean up the debris. So long, the FIA decides to call for a red flag and pause the race.
All eighteen remaining cars return to the pitlane. I watch Adrian get out of his car, anger tensing his shoulders. He might be wearing a helmet, but I’ve studied this man enough to know when he’s standing relaxed and when he’s close to bursting from anger. Right now, I think he wants to rip Lincoln’s head off for the second time this season.
Adrian attempts to step toward where Lincoln is getting out of his car, but Val cuts him off, grabbing her brother’s shoulder and stopping his approach. Gabriel’s behind Valentina then too, taking off his helmet and balaclava, probably to hear their conversation better. Adrian attempts to step past Val to get back to approaching Lincoln, but Gabriel slips in front of his teammate, shaking his head.
James, on the other hand, is determined to defend his best friend and approaches Lincoln. He points at Adrian, gestures wildly with his hands, then pokes Lincoln’s chest in warning.
I wish I knew what they’re saying.
“Uh oh,” Quinn says right as Leonard approaches Lincoln and James, stepping between them to break up their fighting.
He took his balaclava and helmet off too, and all I see as I look at his face is disappointment. And exhaustion. He looks like a parent who’s sick and tired of the children’s fighting. The scowl on his face is directed at Lincoln, who is yelling something at Leonard. The Englishman’s unimpressed expression speaks volumes about what Lincoln is saying. Leonard only answers one word to Lincoln’s minute-long rant. I don’t have to be a lip reader to see him say “no” because he’s shaking his head, too. James walks away and toward Val, Gabriel, and Adrian while Leonard makes his way inside his garage to meet Quinn.
“Fucking children. ‘He hit my best friend.’ ‘No, he hit me.’” Leonard shakes his head again. “I’m going to retire after this season. I’m too old for this shit,” he says to Quinn, but he’s close enough for me to hear. “James is a good kid, but he still needs to learn that racers like Lincoln don’t have a rational side when emotions are running high,” he goes on, and I almost thank him for clearing up what happened.
“Lincoln could have cost Adrian his race… again,” Quinn replies, and I press my lips shut at the thought.
“I know, and I’m fucking furious, too, but approaching Lincoln won’t help. You’ve got to take shit like that to the FIA.” Leonard catches me staring at him and nods his head at my concerned expression. “Adrian’s got this. Don’t worry.” His reassurance, his cool determination, feels like a warm hug.
I let it envelope me while we wait for the race to restart.
Once the marshals have cleared all the debris and the cars have been taken off the track, the FIA announces the race will restart in five minutes behind the safety car. Adrian stops in front of Leonard’s garage for a second, winking at me before continuing to walk toward his car, leaving me to go back to worrying.
I don’t know how the rest of the drivers’ partners do this. I text Elijah, Cameron’s boyfriend, asking him how he’s doing. We only recently exchanged phone numbers after we met at the honky tonk bar in Austin, but we’ve chatted a couple of times to discuss how stressful the life of a Formula One partner during the race is. He also loves sending me videos of Adrian and Cameron, which I love.
I can’t help the laugh bubbling out of me.
At least I’m not the only one feeling on edge.
The race restarts with Adrian following behind the safety car. I watch as it enters the pits two laps later, allowing Adrian to restart the race. Gabriel is right behind him, and Val is creeping closer to her fiancé while James is waiting to overtake her.
Adrian shoots ahead, but Gabriel’s reaction time is flawless. He’s right there with his teammate, pushing him far but not so far that Adrian’s car slips into the gravel. My hand flies back to my mouth to suppress a gasp when James’ car slips past Valentina’s by a hair-width. My friend doesn’t give up though. She might have the slower car, but she fights until she’s back in third place. Unfortunately, a lap later, James is ahead of her again, his car too quick and hers too slow to keep up with him. Adrian and Gabriel have drifted apart a little, my boyfriend now over a second ahead of his teammate.
By the time the first pitstop rolls around, I’m holding my breath again. After what happened in Austin, I don’t trust the pit crew anymore. Quinn laughs at me when I look away from the screen, but there is no way I’m watching what might be another horrible stop.
Luckily, everything goes smoothly and Adrian ends up in fifth place, as expected. Unfortunately, Lincoln has worked his way up to sixth place, and with warmer tires, he overtakes Adrian as they race down the straight. A string of German curse words flows out of me, even though I know Lincoln still has to pit and Adrian will get back ahead.
At least, that was the plan before James’ engine catches fire and he has to pull off to the side of the track to jump out of his car and let the marshals put out the fire. The safety car comes back onto the track, giving everyone who hasn’t pitted the advantage of losing less time. Gabriel pits, Val pits, Leonard pits, and lastly, Lincoln does, too. I’m watching the screens closely, Adrian now in third place, right behind Val and Gabriel.
If he hadn’t pitted before them, if he’d waited, he wouldn’t have lost the lead of this race for good, but luck was not on his side today. More curse words fall from my lips as the race restarts for the second time, Adrian fighting with Val for second place. She fends him off for a lap before he races past her by braking later as they go into the corner. He zooms ahead, chasing down Gabriel.
My heart is racing.
“It’s like last year all over again,” Quinn says to me, and I study her amused expression for a second. “Those two are so evenly matched, it’s hard to figure out who’ll win, you know?” she adds, and when I bring my attention back to the screen, I see Adrian’s DRS flap open to gain a speed advantage over Gabriel. The breath catches in my throat. Adrian attempts a dangerous overtake, a single centimeter further to the left and he’d touch Gabriel, but he makes it past his teammate without an incident.
Ten laps later, he wins the race.
And I barely keep from screaming in joy when Valentina snatches third place, too.
Adrian is back to leading the championship, and there’s nothing that could ruin the high we’re entering the summer break with.
At least, I hope so.