Chapter Twenty-Two #2
She wished that she understood Jane’s new desire to be the only Bennet daughter to be admired.
The guests had been discomfited by her endless criticism of their hostess, but only a handful of the people in the room truly understood the evening for what it had been.
An opportunity for Jane to see Kitty, a brand new, unprepared bride, mortify herself in an effort to please her eldest sister.
Elizabeth suspected that Jane’s games in Derbyshire had barely begun.
Elizabeth saw that Mary was quick to assist Kitty in serving tea in the music room as they waited for the gentlemen to join them. Jane sat upon a sofa near the fireplace, her posture graceful, hands folded neatly in her lap. The fire cast a softened glow upon her, making her radiant, as usual.
Elizabeth sat next to her. For a long moment, neither of them spoke. At last Elizabeth turned, and said as gently as she could, “You were hard on Kitty tonight, Jane. She made such an effort to please you.”
Jane gave her a glance of mild surprise. “Hard? Oh, Lizzy. You misjudge me so grievously.”
“It is not only me who observes the changes in you since you met Mr Bingley, Jane.” Elizabeth’s tone was soft, yet brooked no nonsense. “Others observe it as well. You do not hide it as well as you think.”
“I regret that others find fault where none has been intended.” Jane’s eyes settled anywhere but upon Elizabeth. “It is often the curse of the well-meaning to be misunderstood.”
“It amuses me when I consider how infrequently you were misunderstood before you met your husband,” Elizabeth said sarcastically.
“You knew very well what you were doing tonight. You innocently attempted to make Kitty doubt herself. You bullied her into hosting a dinner for you, while her husband’s father lies upstairs dying, then you led her guests to question her propriety, her management, her motives, even her background.
How could you? You wanted her married and away from Longbourn, and so she is, and now you follow her here to lord it over her.
It is easy to see that you are displeased to see her so well settled.
I suppose you thought Papa would find her someone more like Mr Wickham. ”
Jane laid a protective hand over her abdomen, as if Elizabeth had struck her there. “If you can believe me capable of such cruelty, Lizzy, then I can only lament the loss of what I thought we meant to each other.”
“I have lamented the loss of what I thought we meant to each other since my journey into London two days before your wedding,” Elizabeth said coldly. “And please do not start crying. I am not yet recovered from your excessive tears from before I left Meryton. I will not abide them now.”
At the sound of the men approaching from the corridor, Jane rose, and ignoring Elizabeth, greeted her husband warmly as he entered the room.
She returned to the sofa on his arm, as Elizabeth joined Colonel Fitzwilliam, Miss Darcy, and Mrs Gordenson for cards.
Priscilla and Mary opened the instrument.
An hour later, she left the card table and approached Mr Darcy by the window.
“I warned Kitty that she ought not humour Jane’s demand to be honoured with a dinner.
I suppose it could have been worse. It was wonderful that Kitty had so many friends about the table ready to champion her.
You and your family have my gratitude. I know how little you wish to expose Georgiana to Jane. ”
“I learned from my sister that Priscilla and I were overzealous in protecting her,” he acknowledged.
“Georgie has no fear of Mrs Bingley and has no wish to have her social activities stifled by that lady’s presence.
My sister still controls what invitations are issued to Pemberley and Darcy House until I marry.
Mrs Bingley ought not count upon any. But I will not prevent my sister from attending any event in the future to avoid Mrs Bingley unless it is her own choice. ”
“That is a relief, to know that Georgiana was not as harmed as we feared by Jane’s unkindness in Meryton.” Elizabeth was relieved to hear such news. She had been furious with Jane for mortifying the poor girl and their sister.
“I think I should speak with Captain Denny before I leave tonight,” Darcy informed her.
“Why?” Elizabeth was startled by his suggestion.
“Because it would be wrong for him to hear from another that I am calling upon you and escorting you about his estate in the early mornings,” Darcy explained. “You are his sister now, I must be respectful. I am surprised his groom has not spoken of it.”
“You are very conscientious.” Elizabeth’s heart seemed to stumble over itself in her chest. Could such a calamity even be called beating?
“I am. And I am very deliberate.”
“I would rather not make too much of it while Jane is still here.” Her cheeks burned at the admission that she did not trust her sister to know she was being courted.
“Any sordid speculation that Jane might suggest must be denied its very foundation, I am afraid. And…I will not allow her to take such an experience from us…the right to court and learn about each other without scandal or shame.”
“I cannot disagree with you,” he said tenderly. “Let us hope that Mrs Bingley feels well enough to continue her journey north quite soon.”
Friday 3 April 1812
Newcastle
Dear Kitty,
It is awfully mean of you not to write back to me when I specially made time to write to you during my first week in my new home. You did not even send your direction, I had to write to Mama and ask for it. It is truly quite cruel of you.
George and I dance with the officers every night, and I am the favourite of everyone, even the colonel’s wife, who has taken an interest in me, but we do not have much money.
An officer does not make much, and so I have kept a few pennies set by to pay for your letter when you send one, but your new estate must be too interesting for you to remember your duty to your sister.
Is it very dull, running a house? Mama says that Lizzy came with you, and I received a letter from our sister saying the same, so it cannot be too hard.
Lizzy will manage your whole life if you let her.
Just remember that it is all well and good to have her run your house, but if you do not encourage her to marry, you will have to keep her forever.
Mama says Denny’s father is dying, which I suppose is a shame, for you will have to go into mourning. I shall cry into my pillow every night thinking about it. You ought to come north! You and Denny would be so much happier living closer to me and George than Mary!
Do you have many servants? George says that Hawthorne Vale is decent enough. Write back to me…
Lydia
“Kitty.”
“No, Lizzy.”
“You must at least accept her congratulations and inform her that you have arrived safely,” Elizabeth wheedled. “I am surprised. I did not know you did not reply to her before we left Longbourn.”
“She already knows that we are here, she heard from Mary.” Kitty sewed a sleeve onto her husband's shirt as they spoke by the fire in her private parlour.
“Why do you refuse? I know she has not always been kind, but she was once your dearest friend and closest sibling.” Elizabeth could not understand Kitty.
“She was the playmate I had, as I have said before.” Kitty snipped a thread and rummaged in her sewing bag. “That does not make us lifelong confidantes.”
“Are you still angry that she did not tell you she was running away?” Elizabeth asked.
“No.” Kitty was infuriating Elizabeth with her refusal to be explicit.
“Kitty, she is a sixteen year old girl married far too early, away from her family in a regiment in the far north, with a scoundrel for a husband. I fear all is not as well as she suggests,” Elizabeth attempted.
“And I am an eighteen year old girl married and away from my family in the far north,” Kitty replied with an air of unconcern. “Lydia will be fine.”
“But you have two sisters with you. One in your home and one nearby. Your husband is reliable. You have a dependable brother nearby, who is a clergyman. And as Lydia points out in her letter, you have servants to take care of you. Are you not worried about how she is managing in rented rooms with no servants or linens?”
“No.” Kitty was firm. It was obvious that she would not be moved.
“Kitty, tell me why!” Elizabeth insisted. “Please help me understand.”
“I do not miss her, Lizzy!” Kitty snapped.
When Elizabeth blanched at her outburst, she took a breath and continued more calmly.
“It was not your fault that I was thrown in with her at Longbourn. You were more of an age with Jane and Mary. I was the closest in age to our youngest sister, therefore, I was her playmate. It was never particularly pleasant. Rather the same as being her pet. Perhaps you saw a great deal of giggling, but there was much you did not see, and one cannot squabble all the time. Lydia ruled my life from the moment she learnt to walk until the day she ran away. Everything she wanted to do, was what we did. She was Mama’s favourite.
If she wanted my ribbons, my bonnets, my clothes, they were hers without question.
She took half my wardrobe to Newcastle with her, and may she freeze in it.
I do not regret marrying Matthew, but her actions caused me to be sent away in an arranged marriage, and she is not even sorry!
It could have been so much worse! What if Papa had married me to someone old and disgusting like Colonel Forster?
You have seen how that man leers at the very young ladies…
Poor Harriet...I could have been married away to a brute or a bully, or an officer who lives in a tent because of Lydia.
I do not miss her. Does that make me a terrible sister? ”
“Of course not,” Elizabeth moved closer and embraced her sister as Kitty began to sob. “Of course that does not make you terrible. But do you really hate her?”
“I do not know, Lizzy.” Kitty wiped her eyes with her handkerchief and attempted to compose herself.
“I truly do not know…but…I know that I have no wish to write to her. I have no desire to see her. Hawthorne Vale will be the one place that I can be certain that I do not have to put up with Lydia, for I will never invite her here. Matthew has assured me he has no great affection for Mr Wickham. I do not even know if I will continue to read her letters for very much longer. They do not interest me. We open them because you are interested. I do not care what Lydia and Wickham do in Newcastle. Maybe I will write to her one day. Maybe I will not.”
“But she does not even know why you are upset with her,” reasoned Elizabeth. “Perhaps if you told her how you feel–”
“I do not need to tell Lydia how I feel.” Kitty was firm.
“If she does not know how she was wrong, then there is no possibility of me making her accept it. I do not need to tell her what she did. If she cannot see on her own how she erased the first eighteen years of me, then there is no point trying to educate her on the matter, for she is quite hopeless. No one knows this…knows Lydia…better than I, Lizzy. I do not object if you correspond with her. I am not Lydia, I have no desire to control the activities or friendships of others.”
Elizabeth hugged Kitty again, wondering if there was any way that she might mend the breach between her two sisters.
Then she thought about her breach with Jane.
With her father, and her mother…and decided that she would not meddle.
It was not for her to tell Kitty how to mend what their relations had broken.