Chapter 16 Mckenna
SIXTEEN
MCKENNA
“You’re pretty banged up but will make a full recovery,” the doctor explains from the foot of my hospital bed. He clasps a clipboard in his hands and holds my gaze. “Your throat will be sore for a few days. Don’t push yourself to speak unless necessary.”
I nod, already feeling the soreness he alludes to.
The doctor glances at his clipboard again. “We didn’t realize you’re pregnant or—”
My eyebrows nearly fly off my face as my eyes pierce his.
At my genuine surprise, his voice falters.
“Can you repeat that?” I croak. Wince. My throat burns but the doctor’s words distract me from the pain.
Did I hear him correctly?
Me, pregnant? There’s no fucking way…
The nurse, Kimberly, clears her throat and the doctor bobs his head. “Yes,” he repeats. “You’re about seven weeks along.”
Pregnant? My hand automatically moves to my abdomen. Holy fuck. My eyes widen as I shake my head.
I can’t be pregnant.
The doctor frowns and steps closer to the bed. “Did your attacker—”
“No!” I blurt out, squeezing my eyes closed as my throat burns. I know what he’s insinuating and I don’t want to think about it. “I-I didn’t realize…I wasn’t planning…” I stop talking as my throat constricts, half from pain and half from panic.
Kimberly offers a sympathetic smile. “Try to rest your voice. We have time to discuss your options regarding your pregnancy. For now, let’s make sure you have all the information regarding your current injuries.”
The doctor nods again, waiting for my confirmation.
I nod in agreement.
The doctor explains that I also have a mild concussion and some bruised ribs but will physically heal. “You need your rest more than anything. Peace of mind.”
I snort, my anxiety already blazing.
He winces. “I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you to process but it’s important to take care of yourself and manage your stress levels.”
I nod that I understand. And he’s right. It’s not only about me anymore. I’m fucking pregnant.
Pregnant!
How the hell am I supposed to stay calm and manage my stress levels when they feel like they’re going through the damn roof?
I suck in another breath, feeling my heart rate skyrocket.
The beeping sound from a nearby machine accelerates and the nurse and doctor exchange a look.
How can I be a mother when I can’t even stand up for my fucking self? Who would trust me to safeguard a child?
I suck in another breath, feeling the air in the hospital room thin out.
My fingers begin to tremble as pure panic washes over me.
Am I even capable of being a good mother? It’s not like I had a great example.
My vision blurs as my head swims.
I clutch at my chest, searching for oxygen, for some clarity.
“She’s panicking,” the nurse murmurs.
She whizzes by me, a burst of color, as the room swims and sinks and finally stops.
When I come to, nurse Kimberly is at my bedside. “You’re okay,” she assures me soothingly.
My eyes widen in disbelief. I doubt I’ll ever be okay again. Maybe I’m just meant to exist in some weird, suspended state between fight or flight.
“You are,” she confirms. “I know that news shocked you.”
I huff out a sarcastic laugh.
“And you’ve just endured a trauma.” Kimberly shakes her head. “No one should ever have to see something like that coming.”
I roll my head along the pillow to look at her.
She gives me an understanding glance. “Are you ready for visitors? Your husband and father are both in the waiting room.”
My husband.
And father.
I blink at her, trying to process my thoughts.
How the hell am I supposed to tell Maverick I’m pregnant?
Will he bolt? Panic, the way I clearly am? Will he resent me?
Does he even want children? Yes, he said one day, he does.
One day. Not right now when we just solidified our marriage and our future. Not when Bran is still out there, planning his revenge.
I frown. Is Bran still out there? I don’t even know what happened with Bran.
I don’t know anything.
I look around the room wildly, but Kimberly understands what I need. She passes me a notepad and pen.
I scrawl out a question.
“How long have I been here?” Kimberly reads before looking at me. “About four hours.”
Four hours. Shit, my dad and Mav must be panicking.
“The doctor spoke to your husband and family. He explained that you’re okay but in shock and needing some rest. They don’t know all the details, but they know that you’re not in any immediate danger. You can see them whenever you’re ready.”
I sigh. I want to see Maverick. I want to feel his arms around me and hug him close and breathe him in and know, deep down, that I’m safe.
I don’t have to tell him about the baby right in this moment, do I? Shouldn’t I leave the hospital first? Shouldn’t we focus on the issue of Bran before we segue into family planning?
“Mckenna?” Kimberly looks at me expectantly.
I nod and jot down another note.
She reads it and beams at me. I fight the urge to roll my eyes.
“Of course,” Kimberly says, standing. “I’ll let your husband know he can come back.” She leaves the hospital room.
I relax against the pillows and look up at the ceiling, as if seeking the wisdom of a higher being. But I don’t know what to ask for or who to pray to.
All I want is to be okay. For all of us. Maverick, me, and our baby. My fingers brush against my abdomen again.
I close my eyes and try to recall my childhood, but the memories are hazy. Everything is slightly distorted. Pulling in a breath, I decide to deal with things one at a time.
Firstly, I need to know what’s happened with Bran and what my options are in moving forward with my case. Then, I can focus on Maverick and our growing family—specifically, telling Mav that I’m going to have his baby.
The door to my hospital room pushes open. Mav’s eyes brighten the second they find mine and I breathe out a sigh of relief.
“I’m here, beauty.” He moves to my bedside and wraps me in his arms.
I melt the moment he holds me, knowing I’m safe, knowing I can breathe again. Tears prick my eyes as I inhale a wheezy breath.
“I’m here, love. I’m not going anywhere,” Maverick promises, making me cry harder.
Does he mean that? Will he really stay once he knows the truth? Once he knows everything I’m too scared to say?