Chapter 9
NINE
I hurry into the meeting room to find the others already there. Brushing my hair back, I sit heavily in the empty chair on the end, the farthest from Fox. He does that now, sits farther away from me. I hate it. It’s the only time I can be close to him without raising suspicion.
“What’s up, boss?” I call to Po, who grins at us.
“I have amazing news—incredible, actually. All your hard work has paid off.” We wait with bated breath, and he grins. “You are going on tour as backup for Dead Ringers! It’s sold-out, set to be the biggest of the year.”
Strike and Dash whoop, hugging each other, but my eyes are on Fox as he drums his fingers on the table. “They are going ahead with the tour? I heard there were issues.”
Does he know I watch him all the time? Things are different between us now, but it’s for the best. Flirting was fun, but it wasn’t worth risking our futures over.
The label was serious. I saw firsthand what happens if you break their rules, so I refused to.
Instead, I pulled away from Fox. I play the part they want, but I forced myself to stop reaching for him.
It wasn’t easy, and I’ve found myself in many other beds, trying to forget him.
I know I hurt him and our band, which I hate, but this is the only way I can keep us moving to the top, our future within grabbing distance.
I will not be the reason our band fails.
Not when I don’t know if what we had was real or not.
We can be friends and bandmates; that isn’t a problem. I never crossed the line with him—hell, I don’t even know if I wanted to or just enjoyed the chase—so I stay away, but as he speaks, my eyes drift to his lips.
The actress’s bed I just left feels far away, all that momentary pleasure fading as I look at him. It messes me up inside. I don’t like guys, but I like him. I want him but I don’t.
“The Dead Ringers have a . . . problematic past, but they are a huge name in the industry, and this tour is all anyone can talk about. It’s a big deal and our chance to push you into many rock lovers’ hearts.
They are the perfect fit, and it’s a great way to welcome you into touring life.
You will have a bus and travel with them.
Some nights you will stay in hotels, and others you’ll be on the bus.
It will be long and hard, but it will be worth it.
I promise. We need to prepare some new songs to be ready by then, and we will rehearse twenty-four seven. Understood?” Po explains.
For a moment, Fox’s eyes drift to me. “We can do that, can’t we?”
Dash and Strike nod, but I know he’s speaking to me. I don’t spend time with them if I can help it. It’s just too hard. I know they wonder why, Strike even cried one night when he was drunk and begged me to tell him what they did wrong so they could fix it. I never wanted to hurt them.
I just wanted to protect them.
Po is right. This is good news. It will give me a chance to fix everything between us and drive us to the top, where we belong. I don’t understand my feelings for Fox, but I can have this with them . . . with him.
“Of course we can. We’re Sanctuary.” I smirk. “Let’s do it, boss man.”
“Then let’s do it. You have today to celebrate. I’ll pick you up bright and early tomorrow for an interview to announce your tour.” Po stands. “Good job, guys. You’re killing it. Remember the rules. No arrests or headlines tonight. Behave as much as you can.” He eyes me, and I smile.
When he leaves, Dash and Strike hurry out. Fox stands and heads my way, his eyes locked on me. I can’t breathe or move as he advances on me.
Being the center of Fox’s attention is all-consuming. He’s just that strong. “You better be there in the morning. This is important.”
“I will,” I murmur, my voice hoarse.
His hand drifts out, and I swear my heart skips a beat. I lean in, hoping he’s going to touch me like the old days, but his skin doesn’t even touch mine as he grabs my designer shirt.
He lifts it, righting it for me. “The scratch marks were showing,” he says, his voice cold and distant. I glance down and see he’s right. She must have done a number on my back as well as my front, and for some reason, I want to apologize, but he’s already gone.
I feel like I’ve betrayed him somehow.
They say actions speak louder than words—so what are his actions saying, and why does it make my heart clench so painfully that I struggle to breathe?
Have I finally lost Fox?