Chapter 34
THIRTY-FOUR
“ I t’s too early,” I whine as I lean my aching head on Fox’s shoulder.
He looks far too put together to be hungover like us, but he’s slightly green, which makes me feel a little better.
I didn’t even hear Po come in, but he looks annoyed as he makes his way through the messy kitchen, throwing us dirty looks every few seconds as he tries to make himself coffee.
“Why the hell is someone’s shirt in the fridge?” Po grumbles as he grabs milk.
“Oh, I remember. I was warm and thought it would cool me down,” Strike tells him, his eyes still half closed as he hugs his glass of water like it’s his lifeline.
Sighing, Po turns to us and cups his mug. “Well, you certainly have partying like rock stars down. What happened?” Po says as he leans against the kitchen island.
“We figured we’d make the most of last night in case it was our last. It seemed like a good idea at the time,” I admit as I rub my aching head. Fox passes me some water and pills, and I gag as I swallow them.
“Fox, really, you’re usually the smart one.” Po sighs in disappointment.
Fox shrugs, rubbing my back. “I was with them on it. We might lose all this, so why not enjoy it for once since all we’ve done is work?”
“I’m glad you’re finally all on the same page and working together.
I just wish it weren’t about partying,” Po grumbles.
“Fine, I came to help you. I meant what I said. We have the concert to show the label they are wrong and it’s what the fans want, so do you want to hear my plan to save your careers, or would you rather go back to sleep? ”
We all perk up despite our hangovers and share a look, but it’s Strike who speaks.
“How do we save our band?”
“Well, for starters, I’m going to need you to . . .”
We listen as he speaks, the plan coming together. It might not work, but we have nothing else to lose.
Besides, we never played by the rules before, so why start now?
I’m terrified, but I’m also excited.
We have been preparing for this charity concert for two weeks, and I still don’t feel ready, but as I look into Fox’s eyes as we linger in the wings, I know I have to be.
It’s our last shot. We are working on Po’s plan and hoping that we’ve made enough of a connection with our fans that they are on our side, which means exposing everything.
It means exposing us.
We haven’t been together long, and I worry it will wreck our relationship. Fox must read the concern in my gaze because he heads over, grips my chin, and drags me close for a quick kiss. “We will always have each other, okay? Just focus on me out there, no one else.”
“I’m happy to tell the truth. I’m not ashamed of us. I’m just worried the fallout will pull us apart,” I admit.
“Never,” he murmurs. “That will never happen. Trust in me. Trust in us.”
I close my eyes, soaking in his strength as we get the notification in our ear.
“Take the entry lift please.”
I nod at Fox and kiss him again, and Strike, Dash, Fox, and I head under the stage and kneel on the rectangle part that rises. Taking a deep breath, I hear the crowd scream and chant, and then everything falls silent as the lights die.
The drumbeat sounds, and the screams erupt again as the lights above us flash red and then purple, and we slowly start to rise, smoke billowing around us.
Halfway up, we stand in unison, and the screams are so loud, they rock the arena.
I could barely believe we sold out such a huge place, but I guess the hype surrounding the concert is huge.
The faceless crowd filling the seats shocks me, towering into the sky, and then the pit writhes with so many bodies, I can’t even see a gap anywhere.
Shaking my head, I pose just before the light hits us.
We change poses as it hits us again. Our names are shouted, and I try to hide my smile as the drum stops and I grab a mic.
I let out a long, high note, and when it tapers off, Fox’s guitar shreds for a second, and I hum into the mic as I step from my mark and walk down the extended stage slowly and deliberately.
The crowd moves closer as I stop at my mark at the end and drop my head back, letting out the highest note I’ve sung.
When it fades, I pose like that with the mic in the air before I open my eyes and look at the crowd, letting them feel the heartbeat in the silence.
“I’m Ryker, and this is Sanctuary!” Flames erupt from the stage, and the lights turn on behind me, illuminating my bandmates in their spots.
Running as the first note of the song hits, I begin to sing as I walk back to them.
I catch sight of myself on the big screen for a second before I focus on Fox, letting everything else fade away.
The music and Fox are all that matters, and I don’t stop until I lean into him, singing the chorus along with Strike.
Once the first song is over, I head to the front of the stage and blow a kiss to the audience. “Are you ready to have a good night?” I cup my ear and sigh after their screams taper off. “You can do better than that. I said, are you ready to have a good night?”
The screams get louder, and I nod, gesturing upward until it’s all I can hear.
I wait for the volume to lower a bit before I say, “That was incredible. I suppose you know who we are, but how about we say hello one by one?” I wait for the screams to die, and the light hits me.
“I’m Ryker, and I’m your singer for tonight.
” I grab my crotch and grind as I smirk.
The light hits Dash next, and he smashes the cords, dragging out the notes. “Hello, lovers, I’m Dash.”
The light switches to Strike, and he hammers the drums before standing. “I’m Strike!”
The lights illuminate Fox, and he smirks into the cameras as he strums the guitar before sliding his hand up the mic stand. “I’m Fox, and I’m ready to have the night of my life. Are you?”
The volume of the yells shocks me, and he chuckles.
“I take that as a yes. What do you think, Ry?”
“I think they are, but let’s test them.” I nod as I head to the edge of the stage. “Okay, let’s practice for this next song. When I say ‘sinners, beware,’ you are going to sing back to me ‘sinners everywhere.’ Are we ready? Let’s try.” I take a deep breath. “Sinners, beware!”
I hold the mic out, and they scream it back. Shaking my head, I wag my finger. “Not good enough. I said, sinners, beware!”
They scream it back louder, and I grin. “Okay, let’s try the left side.” I run over and test them. “Now the middle! Finally, all together!”
When their shouts taper off, the drumbeat begins, and we dive straight into the next song, and then into our third.
Once it’s done, I lick my lips, and Fox heads to the edge of the stage and grabs a bottle of water. He brings me one, and I take a drink. When I’m done, he downs the rest and smacks my ass as he walks away again, driving the crowd crazy.
“You dirty birds seem to like that, so how about we show you more? Let’s rock!
” I yell as I dive into the fourth song.
Fox moves over to me as he plays, and I lean back into him as I sing.
His hand leaves the guitar and slides down me suggestively before gripping my dick, and the crowd goes wild.
Turning, I shove his chest teasingly, my eyes on him as I sing, and his hand slides around my hip and grips my ass, squeezing in a familiar way.
Desire pulses through me, and he smirks before he lets go and swings his guitar around.
When I sing the ending, the stage goes dark, and I breathe quickly as the next song kicks in. This time, we all move down the extended stage and dance and sing at the end. I reach for the crowd as they hype me up, and when it comes to the chorus, I hold the mic out to them, mouthing the words.
Tears fill my eyes as the crowd screams the chorus to us, their voices beautiful and in sync. I drag the mic back to my mouth, making the most of every moment since it could be our last show.
Wiping a tear off my cheek, I sing the rest of the song and turn away. Fox finds me and hugs me for a moment before he takes the mic, giving me time to compose myself.
“Are you having a good time?” he yells, and the response is immediate.
“Good, because we are too! I’m so thankful for all of you coming tonight to support us.
Every cent of the proceeds will go to three amazing charities that support male abuse victims through their trials, medical procedures, and recovery, something that is very close to my heart.
” Turning back around, I see him licking his lips nervously, so I take his hand.
Dash wraps his arm around Fox, and then Strike hugs him from behind in a tackle.
He chuckles into the microphone as tears fill his eyes.
“I’m so thankful for my band and their support.
I never would have been brave enough to speak about what happened without them and without you.
The love you showed me after what occurred .
. . it blew me away. The people who reached out to me, who shared their stories, filled my heart, and I knew I couldn’t sit back and do nothing.
I had help and a support system, but most people don’t, and some people are scared to speak.
I will be their voice and their support, just like my friends and you were for me.
Nobody, and I mean nobody should ever have to be touched without their consent.
Gender, religion, or race doesn’t matter.
Here, we are all one, and we stand together.
We are the voices for the suppressed, the survivors, and those who are still suffering silently.
Tonight is for them. Thank you all for being with me, and for all of the survivors out there, you are not alone.
You’re strong, and if you need help, please reach out to anyone you can.
Now, how about we say a big fuck you to everyone who ever hurt us?
” he screams into the mic, and the crowd cheers. “Okay then, let’s go to church!”
He passes the mic back, and I hold his hand as I pour the lyrics into it.
The crowd shouts along until the arena is filled with our anger for those who would do others harm.
When it ends, Fox has silent tears streaming down his face, but I realize they are from happiness.
He is healing and sharing his journey with millions, since it’s streamed live, and when I glance back and see Po leaning out of the wing, I know it’s time.
“Tonight is very special for another reason,” I begin, and Fox looks at me. I wait for his permission, and he nods, stepping up to my side. Dash and Strike join us, knowing exactly what’s going to happen. “Tonight might be our last show.”
I hear the confused murmurs and screamed questions, and I wait for the audience to calm down.
“We are Sanctuary. We always were. We started this band to become a home for the broken, the lost, and the misfits. We would be lying to you and ourselves if we didn’t do this now and admit the truth, and we never want to lie to you.
” Licking my lips nervously, I look at Fox.
“The reason it may be our last show is because I fell in love.” I smile at the audience.
I’m not afraid or shy. Instead, I’m so certain of this that it gives me the strength to face it head-on, even with millions of eyes and ears hanging onto my every word.
“I fell in love with the one person I wasn’t allowed to, and when it comes down to it, I’m not even sorry.” Grabbing Fox, I turn him to me and kiss him.
It isn’t for the cameras.
No, it’s a declaration, a promise of the future, and love.