12. June
JUNE
“I still can’t believe Cobie convinced me to sign up for this,” Violet groans. She flicks through a few of the dress options at the thrift store. Her nose scrunches more and more with every drag of the hanger.
I can’t believe I let my friends talk me into this, either.
I’ve been sticking my head in the sand all week.
Ignoring the majority of Cobie’s texts in the group chat unless she called me out by name.
Blindly agreeing to Lexie’s outfit suggestions just to keep the decisions at bay.
Showing up late to the dress rehearsal, if you can even call it that.
The whole enchilada. To be fair, Violet’s been about as enthusiastic as I am.
Okay, that’s not entirely true. Did she promise to let Lexie treat her like a Barbie tonight?
Yes. Did she tell Jagger that if he doesn’t bid on her, she’ll neuter him while he sleeps?
Also, yes. Does she have any reason to be worried? That would be a big, fat no.
“I can’t believe you persuaded June to sign up for this,” Lexie argues with a laugh.
It’s like the girl can read my mind.
“Don’t remind me,” I grumble beside her.
Yet again, my niceness is biting me in the butt, and here I am, taking it, albeit with a prickly attitude. The thought of standing on stage and receiving zero bids has haunted my dreams every night this week. Add in my strange encounter with Ford at the bonfire, and I’ve been a hot mess.
Did I really let him suck on my fingers? What was I thinking?
Lexie snags a dress from the rack. “Oooo, what about this one?” She lifts it toward me. “Yes. One hundred percent yes.” Shoving it into my arms, she orders, “Try it on.”
I raise the dress into the air, inspecting it. Dark. Silky. Tight. Deep plunging neckline. High slit. It’s literally everything I would say no to if it were up to me. Not that it isn’t pretty. It’s gorgeous. If it were on anyone else.
“So?” Lexie prods.
“I don’t know. It looks kind of revealing.”
“That’s the point!” Lexie replies. “It’s supposed to be revealing.”
I frown. “Pretty sure Cobie said the auction is black tie—”
“Black tie means sexy, and this”—she snatches the dress off the hanger and tosses it back to me—“is sexy as hell. Fireman Bryan will absolutely die once he sees you in it.”
Fireman Bryan will like anything I wear, or so he tells me.
I kind of believe it, though. After the bonfire last weekend, he drove me home, kissed me, and has texted me multiple times a day ever since.
I still can’t believe he didn’t ask if anything happened while he was visiting the restroom and I was talking with Ford that night.
I wonder what we must’ve looked like. Talking and flirting and sharing a roasted marshmallow.
Then again, it’s Ford. He acts that way with everyone.
Looks at them like they hung the moon. Honestly, it makes the entire interaction feel…
hollow. Maybe that’s why Bryan didn’t feel threatened.
Because he’s heard the rumors, or maybe even seen it firsthand.
The way Ford is with women. It wouldn’t surprise me.
Bryan’s a Harden Heights local. He’s lived here his whole life.
Now, if I could wrap my head around the same thing, that would be lovely.
“We’re running out of time,” Lexie adds. The reminder drags me back to the present. “Try it on so you can agree with me, and we can get out of here.”
I give Violet a pointed look as if to say, Are you going to come to my defense or what?
She lifts a shoulder. “We both know Lex won’t stop until you give in. Might as well.”
She’s not wrong.
“Fiiiine.” I head into the changing room and slip on the slinky dress.
It’s snug and low cut and makes me feel naked compared to the scrubs lying on the floor.
Thankfully, my boss let me leave thirty minutes early so I could swing by the thrift shop with the girls and hopefully find something to wear this evening.
Normally, I’m not much of a procrastinator, but when it comes to tonight’s event?
Yeah, I’ve been failing. Hard. That’s the issue, isn’t it?
Not only did I not give myself enough time to find something, but Lexie also insists on doing my hair and makeup, and at this point, the dress in question is all we’ve found that even comes remotely close to being an option for the auction.
And this is why procrastination is a no-no. I should know better.
With a deep breath, I square my shoulders and smooth down the dress before looking at my reflection. My eyes nearly pop out of my head. “Uh…”
“Oooo, let me see!”
Lexie tugs open the curtain without asking permission, and I cover my half-naked body. “Lex!”
“I work at a strip club, remember? It’s not like I haven’t seen boobs before.”
“Not my boobs!” I squeal.
“One day.” She winks. Excitement spreads over her pretty features as she takes me in. “Okay, yes. Yes, this is a definite win.”
I peek in the mirror one more time. The plunging V at the front doesn’t quite reach my sternum, but it’s close.
Add in the push-up bra Lexie twisted my arm into purchasing, and I have no doubt the ladies will be looking extra perky—and in your face—than what I’m used to.
Sucking in my stomach, I mutter, “I don’t know.
” It is pretty. The dark color makes my skin look decent, and instead of the tight fabric making me look like a sausage, I almost look like I have an hourglass shape going on.
I mean, if I squint really hard and turn the lights down low.
If only I didn’t feel like I might fall out of this thing.
I turn to the side, examining the fold of fabric and deep V showcasing my cleavage from a different angle.
“It’s a little revealing, don’t you think? ” I ask.
“You said that already,” Lexie points out. “And yes, it is. And yes, you look gorgeous. And yes, you’re going to get so many bids, Cobie will send you flowers as a thank you for the massive contribution.”
My lips purse as I glance at Violet. If anyone has any idea of what’s in store tonight, it’s her. She’s the one with inside connections.
Arms crossed, she hangs out near the edge of the dressing room, letting her best friend take the lead as she inspects me. “I like it,” she decides. “Yes, it’s a little risque compared to the blue scrubs you’re used to wearing, but it’s not as bad as you think it is, I promise.”
With a frown, I turn toward the mirror again and suck in my stomach. “You sure?”
“Positive,” Violet says. “But you’re the one who has to wear it, so how does it make you feel? Confident? Sexy?”
“I don’t know,” I murmur. And it’s the truth.
I don’t know. How I feel. How I want to feel.
How much of said feelings are connected to the fabric wrapped around me versus a life built on insecurities.
To be clear, I made peace with my body type a long time ago, but do I really need to be on stage in front of who knows how many people tonight?
My nerves kick up a notch. Maybe I can say I’m sick, or—
“I say you buy it,” Violet decides. “The color looks great on you, and from what you said earlier, you literally don’t have any other options, and the auction’s tonight.”
The woman makes a good point, er, multiple points.
Scrunching my lips on one side, I scan my reflection one more time.
“What if we keep your hair down?” Lexie suggests. “Maybe straighten it so it covers more, and you show less skin? Just a little peekaboo?” She grins. “Or I can always ask a few of my work besties for one of their tops, since we’re running out of time?”
The idea alone is enough to send a shiver down my spine.
To be fair, I’ve never even been to a strip club, but I can imagine the options Lexie would come up with if she had free rein over my attire for this evening.
Would I even be able to fit in anything her coworkers wear?
I highly doubt it. I peek at the mirror one more time and cave. “Fiiiine,” I groan. “I’ll wear this.”
“Yay!” Lexie claps. “Now, let’s get you home so we can play dress-up.”
“And when you say we, you mean June and me,” Violet quips dryly. “I’m still mad you aren’t coming tonight.”
“Me, too,” Lexie admits with enough sincerity for me to believe she’s almost serious.
Is she…disappointed?
Violet and I exchange looks before Vi reaches for Lexie’s arm and squeezes. “Are you sure Ethan won’t change his mind?”
Ethan? What does this have to do with Ethan?
“Trust me.” Lexie shrugs out of Violet’s grasp. “If I’ve learned anything in my life, it’s that Ethan never changes his mind once it’s made up.”
“Wait,” I interject, praying it doesn’t come out snobby or intrusive. I’m genuinely curious. “What does Ethan have to do with tonight?”
Her shoulder lifts. “Nothing, really. I mentioned the auction to him the other day, and he most definitely decided it was a bad idea.”
“The auction in general, or your participation?” Violet questions.
When Lexie hesitates, Violet sighs.
“To be fair, I get it,” Lexie defends. “I love how much you trust the Harden boys, okay? And yes, they seem like pretty decent guys from the outside looking in, but…you know. Not all of us are Harden girls—”
“Who says I’m a Harden girl?” I argue. The words come out before I can stop them, along with a flash of Ford’s dark gaze as he sucked on my fingers at the bonfire.
Whoa. Where in the world did that come from?
“I mean, you live in Harden territory,” Lexie clarifies. Thankfully, she’s too caught up in her own thoughts to read mine this time around. “Who knows what would happen if I participated and was bid on by the wrong guy, you know?” she continues.
Violet frowns. “Are you saying you don’t feel safe in Harden Heights?”
She picks at a few pieces of lint from her off-the-shoulder sweater. “I’m saying your boys keep you in the dark more than you know, and tension is rising. Who’s to say I won’t be caught in the crosshairs?”
“I don’t have a boy,” I remind her. Again. Seriously, can I not stop myself from insinuating I have a small, itty bitty, teeny tiny thing for a certain Harden brother?
“You’re still on Team Harden,” Lexie returns.
“Meanwhile, I’m a Drifter through and through.
Nothing’s going to change that. I know it, my brother knows it, everyone at work knows it.
Which is fine,” she tacks on. “It doesn’t bother me or whatever.
It's just…something I have to remind myself of every once in a while, which includes nights like tonight.”
Moving closer to Lexie, Violet gently says, “The only one hanging on to titles is your brother.”
Lexie’s lips bunch as if she’s holding back something. The question is, what?
“Maybe,” she finally replies. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.” Turning to me, she adds, “I’ll be out front.”
It’s a simple shift. Nothing crazy. But I don’t miss it.
The way she closes the door on our conversation.
I’d say it’s out of character for Lexie, since the girl is so outspoken.
But the truth is, the more I’ve gotten to know Lexie, the more I’ve seen firsthand how easily she clams up when anything hits too close to home or is too personal.
Heck, I don’t even know her parents’ names or whether she has any siblings outside of Ethan.
Maybe we aren’t as close as I’d like to think?
As I watch Lexie leave, I murmur, “You think she’s okay?”
Violet’s gaze stays glued on her best friend crossing to the opposite side of the large brick building.
“She knows how to handle herself.” She steps out of the small space and reaches for the dressing room curtain.
“I’ll be out front, too. See you in a sec.
” With a whoosh, she closes the curtain, blanketing the small space in privacy and silence.
Okay, then? I fold my arms, hating the loneliness creeping in.
I know I’m not officially one of the musketeers, even if Lexie and Violet have been nothing but welcoming.
And this? This is nothing but a stark reminder of exactly that and my role in the friendship.
Maybe it’s okay. Maybe it doesn’t matter.
Maybe I should be grateful for the camaraderie they’ve already shown me.
But knowing they’re outside talking without me?
I don’t know. I guess it sort of stings, even if it doesn’t make any sense.
Pushing aside the self-doubt, I take off the dress and change back into my scrubs. Besides, I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself. Right now, I need to get ready for an auction I don’t want to be a part of.
Lucky me.