Chapter 26 #2
My hand lifts on instinct, then stalls halfway, fingers curling uselessly as my pulse kicks hard enough to blur the edges of the room. The air feels thinner near the door, as if someone had cracked a window in winter.
Cloud steps inside, peering at Blue with open curiosity and zero judgment. "I'm so happy you live here."
Blue smiles easily. "It's a great building."
My stomach drops.
What the fuck is going on here?
Cloud nods enthusiastically. "Right? And now I finally have a yoga buddy." She tilts her head. "Morning flow. Seven a.m. You in?"
Blue's eyes brighten. "Definitely."
Definitely.
Cloud's gaze finally flicks to me, then back to Blue, then to the blanket clutched around her body. Her smile widens, and she teases, "Did I interrupt sexy time?"
I step forward too fast. "She doesn't live here."
Blue shoots me a wounded expression.
Cloud blinks. "Oh."
Blue quickly recovers. Her smile returns. "He's being dramatic."
I say tightly. "I'm not. She's visiting."
Cloud studies my face for a beat, something thoughtful threading through her friendliness. Then she shrugs. "Visiting, living...whatever you want to call it. Hell, I don't know what to call my relationships these days either."
"Relationships?" Blue echoes, the word leaving her softly, almost reverently, like she's rolling it around to see how it fits. She shifts her weight, the blanket sliding a fraction lower on her shoulder as she leans closer to Cloud instead of away. Her eyes light, bright with interest.
I step closer to her, my pulse ticking up.
"Yeah. Relationships," Cloud states with the confidence of a quarterback playing in the Super Bowl.
"Plural?" Blue asks, tilting her head, voice dropping as if they're suddenly in on something together.
Cloud laughs under her breath. "Very."
Blue's mouth curves, slow and knowing. "At the same time?"
"Sometimes." Cloud's naughty grin grows.
Blue glances at me for half a second, just long enough to make sure I'm listening, then returns her attention to Cloud. "That actually sounds…freeing."
"Freeing?" I question. Something sharp tightens behind my ribs, as if the space she's imagining doesn't include me the way I need it to. My attention narrows, instinctively tracking every flick of her eyes, every breath, and already bracing to claim ground that suddenly feels threatened.
Blue hugs the blanket tighter, like she's holding onto a delicious thought before it can escape. "I've been thinking about how limiting singular definitions can be," she adds, almost casually, though her fingers flex against the fabric like she's buzzing under her skin.
Cloud's eyebrows lift. "Have you?"
Blue nods. "Yeah." She pauses, then, in a conspiratorial tone declares, "Especially when the connection doesn't feel small." Her gaze flicks back to me again before she smiles at Cloud, eyes alight with the thrill of possibility.
The floor tilts under my feet. My ears burn, and my insides shake with a rawness so intense, I swear, a claw is gripping my gut.
Cloud glances between us, then nods, satisfied. "Yes! You get it!"
"I do," Blue breathes.
The hairs on my arms rise.
Cloud glances between us, then chirps, "Okay. Yoga tomorrow. If you oversleep, I'll sneak in and yank you out of bed."
"No," I blurt out, before I realize it.
The two women turn to me with questions.
Silence fills the air.
"Red?" Blue asks, putting her hand on my bicep.
I clear my throat and address Cloud. "You know how to break into other people's homes?"
Her eyes widen. She glances at Blue, then back at me, and laughs. "God no. I was just kidding."
Relief hits me.
Blue laughs. "Red, go find the rice."
"Rice?" I question.
"For her phone."
"Oh." I reluctantly step away, go into the kitchen, and quickly find a box, then bring it back. "Here."
Cloud grins at me, letting her eyes drift over my body.
I glance at Blue.
She pins warm, amused eyes on me, like she's just watched a plan click neatly into place.
Heat crawls up my neck.
Cloud adds, "Nice to see you again. Thanks for the rice."
"You're welcome. Good luck with your phone."
"Thanks." She steps past the door, then spins. She points between us. "You two are super cute."
"Aww. Thanks," Blue gushes, putting her hand on my thigh.
My cock springs back to life.
"Byeeeee," Cloud sings, waves, then heads toward the elevator like she hasn't just blown a hole straight through my sense of control.
I close the door slowly, dead-bolt it, and turn to Blue.
She's glowing, wrapped in my blanket, and entirely too pleased with herself.
I carefully claim, "This cannot happen again."
Blue's smile softens. "I'm tired."
The statement lands differently from everything else she's thrown at me tonight. No challenge. No tease. Just honesty.
She shifts her weight, then turns, sauntering across the room with a confident sway in her hips.
The blanket slips from her shoulders and slides to the floor in a slow, unhurried collapse she doesn't bother to correct.
She steps into my bedroom like she belongs there and the space has already adjusted around her presence.
I don't tell her to stop. I follow, telling myself she can't stay but knowing she will.
She drags her fingertips over my comforter, then pulls the corner back and slides beneath the covers. She pats the space next to her. "It's been a long day, Dr. Mercer. Aren't you tired?"
"You're not staying," I say, even as I move closer.
She tilts her head. "Red, why are you standing there?"
I step closer, then sit on the edge of the bed.
Silence stretches.
She slides her hand over my thigh, then dangerously glides it upward.
I blurt out, "Were you serious? About more than one person?"
She sits up against the headboard. "You looked like you wanted to crawl out of your skin."
"I looked concerned," I correct.
She smiles. "You looked jealous."
I breathe through my nose.
"Were you?" she presses gently.
I study the wall across from me, the familiar lines of a room that suddenly feels unfamiliar. "This isn't a hypothetical I entertain."
"Usually entertain... Because you're entertaining it now," she points out.
I exhale slowly. "Blue—"
"If you wanted it," she interrupts, voice dropping, steady and sincere, "I would."
My voice turns to gravel. "You would what?"
She teases the inside of my thigh, continuing, "Have a threesome. A foursome. Whatever you needed from me to have every desire you ever had, fulfilled."
My mouth waters, and I hate myself.
She quietly adds, "The best relationships are when couples are aligned. So isn't that what we should strive for? Alignment."
The word shouldn't be erotic. Somehow it is.
She slides out of the covers and straddles me. She runs her fingers through the side of my head, claiming, "I'm going to give you exactly what you want and need in your life. I'm going to please you in all ways, Dr. Mercer."
My thoughts fracture. Ethics. Power. Transference. Every rule I've built my career on flashes hot and urgent, then slides sideways as something darker rises to meet it.
She keeps her wide, wild eyes pinned on mine and whispers, "Tell me what you want, Red. And I mean everything. How you want me. Who you need next to me. What ways you require me to extinguish the ache deep inside you."
It hits me like vertigo. Not just desire—though that's there, immediate and undeniable—but the sickening sense of being seen straight through. She isn't guessing or reaching. She's naming things I've kept buried so long, they stopped feeling like choices and started feeling like gravity.
My body responds before my mind can build defenses.
My mouth goes dry. My thoughts smear at the edges.
Control frays and the careful architecture of rules, ethics, and restraint I constructed to keep myself intact flares hot and urgent.
Warning lights scream, then slide to the side as something darker rises to meet them.
What unsettles me most isn't the offer.
It's how seamlessly it fits.
How naturally it aligns with the part of me that's never wanted indulgence, only permission. Guilt spikes hard and sharp, exactly where it should, but it doesn't root. It doesn't hold. It skims the surface and disappears, leaving something steadier underneath.
Recognition.
It's knowing that this—this—is the kind of power that could ruin me. Not through excess. Through precision and being wanted this completely. And it's a dangerous relief to imagine a life where I no longer have to amputate parts of myself just to function.
That's when true fear finally breaks through. It's not of Blue but of me. I can't hide it any longer. I know with a clarity that tightens my chest, if I speak now, if I name even one truth she's asking for, I won't be able to stop.
"Tell me. Everything," she breathlessly goads.
My heart beats so hard, sweat pops out on my skin. I find my voice and assert, "You don't get to erase yourself like that. You don't exist to be shaped around someone else's appetite."
She looks at me as if she pities me. "That's not what I'm saying, and you know it."
"No. I don't."
She strokes my head a few times, holding my gaze, then expands, "I'm saying I choose you. And I don't shrink my choices to make that true. Love involves doing whatever it takes to make the other person happy. And I'll happily do it."
The devil in me stirs. He's pleased, greedy, and already rewriting the future in ways I've never allowed myself to imagine. And I'm no fool. I see the control it would take, the surrender it would demand, and the permission it would require between Blue and me.
She leans into my ear. Her hot breath hits my lobe, and I feel myself tipping. She urges, "Stop fighting, Red. I'm going to get all of you, including the parts you hide from the world."
My insides tremble. I continue breathing through my nose, forcing myself to find my center the only way I know how. I brush her hair back gently and press a kiss to her forehead.
Her breath catches.
I keep my voice calm, instructing, "Sleep. We'll talk when this isn't charged."
She searches my face for a long moment, then nods. She moves off me, settles back under the sheets, and rests her head on the pillow.
I slide next to her.
She curls onto my chest, tosses her leg over mine, and her eyes flutter closed. The barest smile stays tugged on her mouth.
I stay there until her breathing evens out and I'm confident she's asleep.
Then I sit in the dark, wide awake, knowing exactly which rule we're already breaking and wondering if Blue pulled all my morals out of me, or if I've always been consumed by the devil.