Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
JUDE
The low hum of the fermentation tanks fills the brewhouse, creating a comforting background noise as I make meticulous notes on my clipboard. The taproom is starting to get busy now that it’s almost five on a Friday afternoon. But in here, no one bothers me. Instead, I can lose myself in my work.
But no matter how much I’ve tried to distract myself with work, thoughts of Abbey creep back in.
Things between us have definitely been strained lately. To avoid running into her, I’ve locked myself away in the brewhouse whenever she’s working.
Like right now.
Although that hasn’t stopped me from checking on her every so often. And every time I look her way, I see the uncertainty in her expression and feel like an asshole all over again.
But it’s not enough to make me apologize.
Or explain what she saw.
The sound of the door creaking open pulls me from my thoughts. I glance up to see Finn standing in the doorway, his hands nonchalantly tucked into his pockets, as if he doesn’t have a care in the world.
“Whatcha doing?” he asks, his voice casual.
“What does it look like? I’m working.” I turn back to the papers in front of me, trying to make it clear I’m not in the mood for a conversation.
Finn doesn’t take the hint. He never does. Instead, he continues farther into the brewhouse, hoisting himself onto the stainless steel table I’m currently sitting at.
I’m beginning to regret giving him the code to the brewhouse.
“Are you planning to tell me what’s going on, or do I have to beat it out of you?”
“You’d lose.”
“Maybe. Want to find out?”
“There’s nothing going on,” I snap, staring at the papers in front of me, all my brewing notes blurring together.
Finn raises a skeptical brow, clearly not buying it. “Word on the street is you’ve made quite a few of your employees cry. Some are even threatening to quit.”
“I haven’t been that bad,” I attempt to argue in my defense, but my voice lacks any sort of conviction.
I have been an ass. But it’s easier than trying to make sense of my conflicting feelings about Abbey. One minute, I want to push her away and forget I ever met her, scared of the things she makes me feel. The next, I want to wrap her in my arms and beg for forgiveness.
“The entire town has been placing bets on whether you’ll kill or fuck each other first,” Finn remarks.
“What are you talking about?”
“You and Abbey. Of course, my money is on you two attempting to kill each other but ending up fucking instead. Unless you already have.”
“Why can’t people in this town mind their own goddamn business?” I roll my eyes. “Abbey and me… We’re fine.”
“Fine?” he retorts. “Nothing about you has been fine in over a week now. You’re treating everyone like shit. Which makes me think something happened between you and Abbey.”
“It’s not what you think,” I sigh, leaning back in my chair and running a hand over my face.
“What is it then? Because the tension between you two is hard to miss. Hell, I feel it right now, and she’s out in the fucking taproom.” He waves his hand toward the windows, and I glance up just as she passes carrying a tray of beer.
Despite everything, a subtle fluttering erupts in my stomach at the sight of her. I hate that I have no control over my reaction to her. And maybe that’s what this is all about. That I’m actually feeling things again, and I have no idea what to do about that.
“I found her in the nursery last week,” I admit softly.
Finn’s expression drops, his eyes wide with concern. “Shit.”
“I completely lost it,” I continue, the tightness in my chest growing. “Screamed at her to get out. Told her to find somewhere else to live.”
“Did she know you didn’t want her to go in there?”
“I thought about mentioning something, but I didn’t want to raise her suspicions.”
“So she didn’t know it was off limits?”
“Well…no, but?—”
“You need to get rid of that room,” Finn declares, cutting me off. “It’s not healthy. Staying in that townhouse probably isn’t healthy, either, if I’m being honest. You’re trapped by all the memories and it’s fucking killing you.”
“I’m fine,” I try to insist.
“No, you’re not, you stubborn ass. You’re anything but fine. What do you hope to accomplish by staying in that house? By keeping that nursery intact? You can’t keep living like this. You can’t keep torturing yourself like this. It’s holding you back from…” He trails off.
“From what, Finn? What’s it holding me back from?” I snarl, getting into his face. But he doesn’t back down.
He never does.
“From moving on. And I think that’s what you’re really upset about. You don’t care that Abbey was in the nursery. You’re upset that she saw a side you’ve been trying to hide from everyone. This isn’t about a nursery, Jude. It’s about you .”
I vehemently shake my head, on the brink of telling him he doesn’t know what he’s talking about when something in the taproom catches my attention.
Abbey’s talking to a guy in a suit, which normally wouldn’t cause the hair on my nape to stand on end. But there’s something about him that has me on edge. I don’t like the way he’s looking at her. Don’t like her defensive stance.
When she attempts to retreat and he grabs her, every rational thought I possess goes out the window.
Pushing past my brother, I storm out of the brewhouse, my sole focus on one thing and one thing only. Getting to Abbey.