Chapter 30
Maven
Was it ironic that the day of my audition for the New York Philharmonic was supposed to have been the day of my and Ben’s final divorce hearing? I tried not to think about it as I waited, my mind running through my selected concerto for the fiftieth time that day. But I was ready.
A gray-haired woman in black slacks and a gray blouse stepped into the waiting room, her gaze falling on me. “Miss Price, they’re ready for you.”
Leaving my violin case and belongings, I followed her. The nerves that had been rushing through me seemed to multiply and flit about my insides recklessly. When we stepped backstage, she gestured me forward.
“Good luck.”
I took one long inhale and released it before stepping onto the stage. My footsteps echoed with each step, the only sound in the entire hall. I came to a stop on the X taped onto the floor, the music stand next to it displaying the binder of orchestral excerpts for later.
There was no screen blocking me from the committee’s view this round, and past the bright lights of the stage, I could see them spread out among the first several rows of the dark auditorium.
A flashlight flicked on, illuminating the music director, who looked down at his clipboard.
“Welcome, Miss Price.” His voice was amplified over the sound system. “Please begin with the concerto.”
With one more calming breath, I lifted the violin, tuned it, and nodded to the accompanist. Then I closed my eyes, shutting out the world around me and allowing myself to be alone with the music.
Several minutes into the first movement, the music director’s voice came over the microphone again. “Thank you. Let’s skip ahead to the cadenza.”
I readjusted my posture, preparing myself for the most difficult part of Tchaikovsky’s piece, without a musical runway to lift off from or an accompanist to support me.
Again, I closed my eyes. My fingers raced across the fingerboard with mastered precision, my bow arm completing a flurry of movements as I dug into the strings, hammered out the conflicting melodies, nailed sweeping double stops, and transitioned between spiccato and détaché strokes.
Then, when the tension peaked, it suddenly shifted to a whisper, ending on a haunting note that hung in the silence of the hall.
I opened my eyes, a cloud of resin powder still lingering in the air and on top of my violin from the intensity of the piece.
The music director had allowed me to finish the cadenza.
Without interruption. That was odd. Or had he said something, and I hadn’t heard him over my playing?
I glanced at the faces of the committee to get some sort of indication.
No one looked affronted. Instead, they were sharing glances or nodding with slight smiles on their lips while they took notes on their clipboard.
The committee was impressed! Which meant, being that I was the last of the three candidates, there was a real possibility I could win the audition.
“Thank you, Miss Price,” the music director said, quieting the last of my fears, his tone a touch more personable than before. “Let’s proceed to the orchestral excerpts.”
With a new sense of confidence, I moved toward the music stand, ready to flip to the selected excerpt.
“Begin with Debussy, please—the second movement.”
I stilled.
Of all the excerpts he could have selected, he’d chosen La Mer, Jeux de vagues—Play of the Waves.
Without permission, my mind went to Ben.
How that had been the song playing in his workshop the day I’d toured it.
The song that had led me to discovering Ben’s fondness for classical music.
A fondness that had started because I’d left and he’d been seeking solace.
A knot tightened in the pit of my stomach as I recalled all the times I’d left him behind in Autumn Ridge while I’d pursued my dreams.
“Whenever you’re ready, Miss Price.” The music director’s voice pulled me back to the audition.
Quickly, I flipped to the excerpt, then lifted my violin, trying to quiet my thoughts with a deep inhale.
However, this time as I began playing, memories of Ben filled every crevice and corner of my mind.
From the moment we’d first met and my crush was forever solidified, to the time at Leeland’s Pond when I could see in his eyes that he’d finally fallen as hard for me as I had for him.
When I’d snuck into the auditorium and he’d taken the fall for me.
Movie nights. Pranks. Our first kiss. The night he’d told me he loved me.
And the one when he asked me to marry him up on the rooftop.
Then I was back in Autumn Ridge over these last few weeks—the two of us dancing and laughing together.
Walking through the house Ben had built for us. Our brief trip to the Green Mountains.
It all felt like a dream.
I stopped, mid down bow. My chest was rising and falling, and I felt like I might be sick. Or faint. Or hyperventilate. Possibly all three at once.
“Is something the matter, Miss Price?” the music director asked.
What was I doing? If I didn’t finish, I’d lose the audition. And I’d been doing so well. Maybe I could come back from this. I paused. Or maybe it was okay that I didn’t.
“Miss Price?”
Feeling oddly resolved, I lifted my gaze to the committee. “Since I was a little girl, it has been my dream to play for the New York Philharmonic. Actually, it hasn’t just been a dream, it’s been the dream. It’s motivated me. And pushed me to excel. It’s the thing I’ve sacrificed everything for.”
The truth of my own words was a punch to my gut, and I drew in a sharp breath, attempting to recover from it.
“I assume that is why you are auditioning?” the music director prompted.
“It’s why I came here today. But I realized, just now as I was playing, that as much as I want this, I have another dream that I want more.
One that has constantly sacrificed for me while I chased other dreams.” I smiled, which felt strange considering the situation, but I couldn’t help myself.
“Please forgive me for taking up your valuable time. I need to go.” I gave one small nod of apology before hurrying off the stage.
My mind was racing. I wanted to see Ben. Like now. Or at least as soon as I could. Waiting for a train would take ages, so once I got back to the waiting room, I pulled out my phone to text Cassandra.
Maven: Any chance I could borrow your car for the next few days?
Maven: I left the audition. I realized my actual dream is a life with Ben in Autumn Ridge.
While I waited for her to text back, I secured my violin in its case and made my way toward the lobby. As I stepped through the doors that led to the spacious room, my phone dinged with an incoming text.
Cassandra: Of course!
“Yes!”
In six hours, I’d be with Ben.
Cassandra: And in case you need to hear it from someone, I think you made the right choice.
Eager to be on my way, I continued forward with quickened steps, typing out a brief reply.
“Where are you headed in such a hurry?”
My gaze flew upward at the sound of Ben’s voice, and it was as if the wind had been knocked right out of me. “Ben?” My smile grew. “What are you doing here?”
He lifted a gorgeous bouquet of white flowers. “You just had the most important audition of your life. I kind of wanted to be here for it.” His expression searched mine, lingering on my smile. “I assume it went well?”
“So amazingly well!” It was true. Because of that audition, I’d never been more sure of anything in my entire life. Not that Ben knew that yet. I sometimes hated that I was the kind of person who would tease him at a moment like this.
He must have practiced his supportive reaction throughout his six-hour drive, because he didn’t so much as flinch. “I’m not surprised.” He closed the space between us and handed me the flowers. “When do you hear about whether you got the position?”
“Oh, I already know.”
His eyes widened, but surprisingly, he smiled—a real, genuine smile. Had he practiced that too? “Congratulations! I’m so proud of you.” His smile dimmed ever so slightly. “I guess we’d better start looking for places here in New York.”
I shook my head, my smile somehow growing wider at the realization that he would have moved to New York for me. Again.
His brow lowered. “No?”
“I walked out mid-audition.”
Ben’s jaw slackened. “You did what?”
“When I was up there, I realized that our life is the one I’m meant to live. You and me together. In Autumn Ridge. Where we have a house you built us. And our families. And our friends. And a life we love.”
“But what about your life here? In New York City? Your music?”
“There are going to be days when I miss it. I can’t say there won’t be.
There will be days I’ll miss being on a stage.
And playing with world-class musicians. Attending concerts.
” I gave a little smirk. “Strolling through Central Park. Eating at incredible restaurants. Attending international music festivals. Traveling to—”
Ben’s pointed look stole the words from me, the corners of his mouth twitching. “I think you’ve painted a pretty thorough picture of how much you’ll miss it.”
I laughed, then slid my arms around his waist. “All teasing aside, I hope that someday I’ll be able to figure out how I can incorporate some of those parts into our life.
But that will never mean I’d rather be here.
Because, Ben, you’re my everything. Since I was eight years old, even before I knew what the New York Philharmonic was, a life with you has always been the real dream. I love you—”
Ben’s lips were on mine before I’d even finished my declaration of love for him. Then his arms wrapped around me, picking me up and spinning me, the both of us smiling like crazy lunatics. Because in some ways, we were. Love made people crazy. And I was just glad I no longer had to resist the fall.