Chapter Eleven
All afternoon, Drake told himself that he’d agreed to have dinner with Meridith and her family because he wanted her family to know that she’d done the right thing when it came to the Montgomery boys.
That was a good reason. A viable reason.
One that had nothing to do with the fact that he…
That he wanted to be with her. Near her.
It was a need that just kept growing inside him.
While staring at ledgers all afternoon, he’d thought about her offer to help. Another demonstration of her kindness and generosity. She was truly a remarkable person. An unselfish, wonderful person.
Whereas he was realising just how selfish he’d been in the past by putting what he wanted ahead of everything else.
None of the ledgers balanced out. If what he was seeing, and imagining, proved to be true, he questioned if finding a partner was even what he truly needed.
It would take more investigating before he knew for sure, which was why he’d taken a few of his ledgers to Edward Gains’s office and was grateful that his solicitor agreed to have the accounts reviewed.
Though Meridith’s offer to review his ledgers had helped him come to that decision, he would never ask that task of her.
The docks were no place for a lady, and she was one through and through.
But her qualities went beyond that. Besides her courage and determination, she had sympathy for those less fortunate, and was determined that all should enjoy the benefits of the community, especially when it came to the zoo.
Thereto, she was committed to the fair treatment of the animals.
She had many such notable characteristics, and he could see her rising to the heights of society, being both respected and admired by all. And married to a man who deserved her.
He couldn’t think about her without marriage entering his thoughts. But that was what she wanted, and not what he wanted.
His musing ended as he arrived at her house, and a moment later, Mr Kent, the butler, opened the door and invited him inside. While Drake was crossing the threshold, a noise drew his attention to the stairway.
It was Meridith. Wearing a pale yellow gown with white flowers embroidered on the flowing skirt, she looked like an angel descending the stairway. A beautiful, living angel. One who truly took his breath away.
‘Good evening,’ he greeted.
‘Hello.’ Her smile grew as she came closer. ‘I hope you aren’t bleary-eyed again this evening.’
Although her beauty was blinding, he admitted, ‘Not at all. I’m seeing everything quite clearly.’
She giggled. ‘I’m happy to hear that. I hope you had a good day.’
‘I did, and hope the same for you.’
‘I had a lovely day and received a message from Mr Ratnam that a nightwatchman has already been hired and will start tonight.’
He held out a hand to assist her off the final step. ‘I swung by the zoo after leaving the docks today and learned the same information.’
‘Did you see Hugo?’
‘Yes, and he’s doing fine. No ill effects from his escapade.’
‘That’s another thing that makes me happy to hear.’ She nodded towards the hallway. ‘Peter and Alena are in the front parlour, and dinner will be ready in half an hour.’
He scanned her face, searching for any signs of distress.
Throughout the day, he’d worried about her family’s reaction to what had transpired.
They should be proud of her principles and how she’d single-handedly fought for what was right and just. ‘Does your family know about your restitution plan?’
Her smile remained as she nodded. ‘Yes. Diana came over this afternoon, quite upset with me, but by the time she left she was in agreement that I’d done the right thing.’ She gave a slight shrug. ‘Peter is no longer upset with me, either.’
‘That is something that makes me happy to hear,’ he said, and gave her a wink.
Her cheeks turned pink, making her even prettier. The string of pearls around her neck looked very elegant, and he told himself to stop his gaze right there. Not to go any lower.
It didn’t work. The lovely swell of her breasts pressing against the neckline of her gown was simply too enticing, and the mere glance sent a rushing supply of hot blood to his groin.
He was a healthy male, with healthy male thoughts and desires, but he’d never wanted someone the way he wanted her.
Not even Bianca. That had been lust. What he felt for Meridith went deeper and there was no justification for that.
There was no justification for how he felt when he thought of her marrying someone, either.
That feeling was the darkness of jealousy.
True jealousy. Even knowing that he had no right, because she’d never fit into his life and he’d never fit into hers, Drake was jealous of the pleasures that another man would experience.
Normally when he saw something that someone else had, and wanted it for himself, he merely worked towards obtaining it. That wasn’t possible this time.
They entered the parlour, and he pulled up a smile to greet Chesterfield and his duchess. The couple was as welcoming as ever, and as soon as they were settled on the comfortable furniture, the duchess brought up the subject of the night before.
‘Please allow me to extend my thankfulness for how you were able to find Hugo and return him to the zoo last night,’ the duchess said. ‘I am so proud of Meridith for seeing that all of the damages will be taken care of quickly and appropriately. So is Peter.’
‘Indeed, I am,’ the duke replied. ‘Montgomery sought me out this afternoon to express how impressed he was with Meridith’s quick and direct response to the events that had occurred, and I agree with him.
’ He smiled at his sister. ‘I apologize, Meridith, for not understanding how strong your commitment to the zoo has been, and how important it is to you and others.’
Drake was impressed by the duke’s open and honest confession and took in how Meridith stared at her brother with unabashed surprise.
‘Thank you, Peter,’ she said.
He gave her a nod, before saying, ‘I owe you an apology, too, Drake. I hope you can forgive me for last night.’
Drake shook his head. ‘No apology is needed. As I stated last night, I fully understand that you were worried about Meridith’s safety.’
‘I was,’ Chesterfield replied. ‘Though I know she’s not a child any longer, there are times that I still see her as the little girl that we all adored as the baby of the family.’
Drake believed the man, but he also noted the look shared between the duke and duchess.
It was clear that Her Grace had a strong influence on her husband.
For a moment, Drake wondered what that would be like.
To be joined in life with a partner. Not a business partner, but a partner in every aspect of life.
‘We still adore her,’ the duchess said. ‘And we appreciate how you supported her efforts today, Captain Taylor.’
‘I merely provided her with transportation,’ Drake said.
‘Meridith devised her plan last night. I find that commendable. While I, several police officers, and a large number of citizens were searching for Hugo, she was doing the same and predicting possible outcomes and developing a way to confront and resolve them before any further damage could be done.’
Though she was smiling, Meridith clearly wasn’t eager to be the center of attention. ‘I merely did what was right,’ she said. ‘I’m truly grateful for how things ended last night. Hugo, and the boys, could have been seriously injured or worse, and that would have been tragic.’
‘I agree,’ the duchess replied.
‘I must say I’m a bit jealous,’ Chesterfield said, glancing at his wife. ‘I would have much rather chased an elephant through London than attend the theatre last night.’
The duchess playfully slapped his arm.
Chesterfield chuckled, and from there the conversation floated between a variety of topics.
Drake found it impossible to keep his eyes off Meridith.
She was so full of life, so happy and enthusiastic.
At one point, she described a winged lion sculpture and made it sound like a national treasure. Perhaps it was, leastwise to her.
Her spirited personality shone throughout the evening, as did her beauty.
He couldn’t help but explore the exquisite details of her face, including the shine in her blue eyes, the way her lips curled at the corners, and the way she tipped her head slightly to one side while listening to something that was being said.
His gaze also landed on the duke and duchess now and then, which made him wonder again about sharing life with someone. He would never have that. Had long ago determined he’d never want it, but if that was true, why was he once again feeling the plight of jealousy?
And why was that stirring up something else that he rarely felt? Fear. Fear that he’d been wrong. Wrong about several things.
Those questions still lingered in the back of Drake’s mind the following morning, when he boarded the train to take him to Bristol. He needed a change of scenery to get his thoughts in order—thoughts about Coastal Shipping and the future of the company, and thoughts about Meridith.
Every moment he spent with her was memorable. During the meal the night before, he’d struggled not to touch her, and it had been even more of a struggle not to kiss her when he’d bid her goodnight. She ignited a yearning inside him that he’d never expected.
A yearning that pertained to a life unlived. One that included more than sailing to foreign lands.
Hence the reason he’d decided to visit the shipbuilder in Bristol. He needed to feel the sea calling to him again, letting him know that was where he belonged. Nothing would do that more than seeing the progress being on made on his new ship.