Chapter Thirteen #3
That had happened with other things, too. Things that she’d assumed hadn’t turned out to be exactly as she’d seen them.
One example was the horses. Walter raised and trained beautiful thoroughbreds, many of which raced at Ascot, as well as other places, and were considered champions.
His and Diana’s estate property was a lovely, serene place.
Though Meridith had visited Holdenstall before, she’d never taken the time to appreciate the peace and tranquility, and the quaintness of the century-old stone cottage and matching horse barns and other sheds.
The idyllic setting of the buildings, creek, lawn, flower beds, and mature trees could very well be a painting or even a drawing in a picture book.
With their long blond hair flying in their wake and the air filled with laugher, Nita and Meg enhanced the fairy-tale setting.
Meridith let her eyes wander off the children.
Her gaze stalled at the barn, and though she should look away, she didn’t.
Instead, she watched as Walter and Diana shared a kiss near the corner of the barn, eyes lingering on the way Walter gave Diana’s backside a loving slap when she began walking away.
Diana laughed and pivoted about, shaking a finger at him.
Walter reached out and grasped Diana’s hand, then pulled her back towards him for yet another kiss.
With a heaviness in her heart, Meridith turned away. Although Diana insisted that she shouldn’t, Meridith felt guilty for being the reason that had kept Diana and Walter apart for so long.
She also felt a deep longing inside her, knowing that she indeed wanted a husband.
A loving marriage and children. Just like the one Diana had, the ones all her siblings had found, including Peter and Alena.
How could Meridith not have wanted what she’d seen every day?
How could they not have wanted that for her, too?
They had. Peter had even tried to give it to her. He’d gone about it all wrong, as even he himself had said, but he’d tried.
It just wasn’t meant to be.
There wasn’t a day that went past where she didn’t think about Drake. She knew it was foolish to dream that he could ever love her, ever want to share his life with her. Not only foolish, but unfair. She couldn’t expect him to change his life for her.
People had already done that for her, and she’d been too blind to see it. Too selfish to recognize it. She couldn’t do that again. Not to anyone, but especially not to him.
Diana arrived at the rock and Meridith scooted over, making room for her sister to sit down beside her.
‘They haven’t convinced you to join them in the water yet?’ Diana asked, looking at the girls.
‘Not yet,’ Meridith replied, taking note of the bright smile on her sister’s face. ‘You’re very happy here. All of you.’
‘We are, because we are all together. We are happy when we are at the London house, too, when Walter is able to be with us. That’s where the happiness comes from. All of us being together. No matter where it is.’
Meridith nodded, imagining that was true.
‘Feeling a bit melancholy again today?’ Diana asked.
Meridith sighed. ‘A little. I’m sure it will pass.’
‘I’m not,’ Diana said. ‘There are few people we meet in life who are perfect. Who do everything right. Who we trust and love. Those are the same people we can’t forget. Won’t forget. Not ever. I know that is how you feel about Drake. I saw it the night of the Montgomery ball.’
Meridith shook her head, but then wanted to know. ‘You did? Truly?’
Diana leaned closer so their shoulders bumped. ‘Yes, you had stars in your eyes when you were dancing with him. And he didn’t take his eyes off you all night.’
That all might be true, but it didn’t matter, and Meridith let out a sigh.
‘You did look adorable in that dress,’ Diana said.
‘I looked like a rosebush.’
‘You did not, but that dress did look better without the bustle. I’d told Janine that the bustle was too large when she had you try the gown on during the fitting, but you know her and fashion.’
‘I do,’ Meridith replied. Then, as a tiny bout of happiness flared up inside her, she said, ‘Would you like to know how I got rid of the bustle?’
‘Got rid of?’
Meridith nodded. ‘Yes. I had it on when I left the house, but could barely walk. So Drake loaned me his knife and I cut off the bustle while in his coach.’
‘You didn’t!’
Regretting her decision to share the secret, Meridith said, ‘That’s probably something I shouldn’t have told you. But Drake was a gentleman about it. He kept his eyes closed the entire time.’
‘It most certainly is something you should have told me, and now you have to tell me everything. How on earth did you do that in a coach? Was it moving?’
‘Yes, it was moving, and it wasn’t easy, believe me. I had to hold the skirt in my mouth to keep it out of the way while I held the belt away from my stomach with one hand and cut it with the other.’
Diana had her hand over her mouth, covering her laughter.
‘It wasn’t funny at the time,’ Meridith insisted. ‘Clara had tied the belt so tight that even sucking in my stomach barely gave me enough room to get the knife under it. And the coach was bouncing on the cobblestones, and I had to keep checking to make sure Drake kept his eyes closed.’
Diana burst out in laughter. ‘I’m sorry. I’m picturing all that in my head, and I can’t imagine doing that.’
With laughter bubbling inside her, Meridith said, ‘I could barely sit with the bustle on. It was the size of a chair cushion. Every bump sent me sliding off the edge of seat. It was either cut it off or end up on the floor, looking like a chopped-down rosebush.’
They both broke out laughing and continued, while Meridith shared how Drake hid the bustle beneath his seat and promised to burn it.
As their laugher faded, Meridith said, ‘Drake promised to never tell a soul.’
‘I’m sure he never will,’ Diana said. ‘He’s a good, honest man.’
‘He is,’ Meridith said. ‘Which is why I couldn’t let Peter force him to marry me.’
‘But…’ Diana said, drawing out a length of silence before saying, ‘What if he wanted to marry you? I know he said he didn’t want to get married, but he certainly didn’t mind your company. Men do change their minds. As do women. You were so happy every time you’d been with him.’
Meridith had thought about that, but he’d told her several times that he wasn’t interested in marriage. ‘He’s married to the sea. It’s what he loves. He said it wouldn’t be right to leave a wife and children behind.’
‘Maybe you would love the sea, too.’
‘Love the sea?’
‘Yes. You’ve always loved geography and learning about new places and people and animals. Wouldn’t you like to see some of the places you’ve read about in person?’
‘Well of course, but he captains a cargo ship, not a passenger ship.’
‘So? I’m sure he has a captain’s cabin, and a bed big enough for two.’
Meridith’s heart began to race, but with all that had happened recently, she tried not to get her hopes up. ‘I couldn’t—’ She bit down on her bottom lip, but then asked, ‘Do you think—’
‘Yes,’ Diana said. ‘I think Drake would be very open to the idea of sharing a cabin with you.’
‘I couldn’t share a cabin with him if we weren’t married.’
‘I think he might be open to that idea, too. You won’t know until you ask him.’ Diana bumped their shoulders together again. ‘Alena saw the way he looked at you the night he had dinner with all of you.’
‘She did?’
Diana nodded as she reached down and plucked a daisy growing next to the rock. ‘She said she’d never seen someone try so hard to hide how attracted they were to someone.’
‘She did?’ Meridith repeated, still not daring to believe.
‘Yes.’ Diana began pulling the white petals off the yellow center of the daisy one at a time. ‘Sometimes a man needs a bit of encouragement to admit what he really wants.’
Meridith looked at her nieces playing in the water, giving herself time to ponder things a bit longer. ‘What if we’re wrong? What if he hasn’t changed his mind?’
Diana held up the flower, with one white petal left. ‘What if we’re right? What if he loves you?’
Meridith looked at the flower, then at her sister, who nodded.
Plucking petals from a daisy to determine love was a child’s game and meant nothing. Whereas, pursuing a man could be quite shameless, but if she didn’t, she might never…
Shaking her head, Meridith turned back to her sister, fully convinced that she was not going to regret trying. Was not. Grasping hold of the flower stem, she said, ‘I need to mail a letter.’
Diana frowned.
‘Not literally.’ Meridith jumped to her feet. ‘I’ll tell you about that another time.’
Already hurrying towards the house, she added, ‘Or Alena will. Right now, I need to pack.’
‘I’ll ask Walter to have the coach hitched up!’ Diana shouted.